Being best friends in your marriage
A marriage in India is usually between two families. Unlike in the west where it is a knot tied between two individuals, in India it comes with all the other relationships that one needs to maintain. Under such pressures and responsibilities, very often the couple starts to feel a distance among themselves. However, if you can be best friends with each other, the relationship becomes easygoing, healthy and happy.
1. Don’t complicate things yet keep it interesting
In a marriage, you may end up in situations that make things more complicated than you ever imagined. Rules that others make in your marriage, such as a wife should always take care of the home while the husband brings the resources or that a wife should not be making important decisions without the consent of the husband, often make the relationship formal and complicated. As best friends, you should keep things simple between the two of you. Take decisions together, do not keep any formalities or do not get upset if they cannot remember to buy you a gift. “Friendship mein sab chalta hain” should also be the mantra for a strong and everlasting bond of a marriage.
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2. Don’t be a control freak
The best policy is to not tell your spouse what not to do. This means that you should not be controlling your partner or nagging them. You should be able to just accept the mistakes they do just as the way you would when they are right. Among friends, there is no competition on who is right or wrong. “Live and let live” should be your mantra if you want to befriend your spouse and not treat them like you own them, in a negative way.
3. Don’t keep any secrets
Best friends do not keep any secrets from each other. If you want that kind of trust and understanding from your spouse that you have from your best friend, it is important that you do not keep any secrets or hidden agendas. Communicate and speak your heart out. While you can do that, you also need to be able to listen to the other person in the relationship. If you can tell everything to each other, even the most personal things, then your marriage will not feel like work. It will be like a holiday, you and your best friend embark on each day.
4. A friend in need is a friend indeed
Stand by your partner in thick and thin, in health and in illness. This is something which even your best friends may not be able to do. This is what makes the bond of a marriage more profound than friendship. You should be their priority and vice-versa. As your spouse’s best friend you should be approachable and they should have the confidence that you’ll understand. Make their failure or success your own. If is often said in a hilarious way that the only war in which you get to sleep next to your enemy is marriage. If you want to end the war and make best friends with your spouse, it might be time to surrender and support them for everything that they are.
5. Just hang out more and talk
In a marriage, after a few years, one experiences that there is often very little to talk about. But you rarely feel this in friendship that has lasted for years. With your friends you always have something to talk about or do together. Make attempts to hang out more with your spouse. Go for movies, drinks, bowling or even a gym together. Discuss about anything that comes to your head without any reservations. And when they do it, patiently listen. Keep judgements and prejudices aside and most importantly kill your ego. You’ll see how much more love and affection will flow into your relationship soon after you begin to hang-out with each other without planning and without any specific agenda.
Friendship, war, marriage can all be ended. But have you ever heard of anyone divorcing their parents? If you want your marriage to be such a strong bond, then the first step towards it is to make your spouse your best friend. Love affairs can get complicated at times, but if you consider your partner to be your best friend for life, soon you’ll realise that it will be a bond that cannot be broken.