Ukwati Wanga Ukugwa - Katswiri Akupereka Njira 13 Zosinthira

Ukwati ndi ulendo wapamtunda, amati. Zingakuchititseni kugwedezeka ndi chimwemwe, kapena kukuchititsani nseru pang'ono ndi madontho adzidzidzi, kukusiyani kuganiza kuti, 'banja langa likutha.' Nthawi zina zimangochitika mwadzidzidzi, kapena zimatha kukhala kumverera kwanthawi yayitali komwe kumabweretsa kumveka bwino.

'Banja langa likutha ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite'. Ndi chinthu chowopsa, chosungulumwa chotani nanga kuzindikira, kaya wakhala ukwati wautali kapena watsopano. Kodi mumakhala ndikukonza zinthu? Kodi mumangotaya mtima n’kuchokapo? Kodi mumauza munthu wina nkhaniyo, kapena mumabisa nokha ndikuyesera kukonza zinthu?

Banja lililonse limakhala losiyana ndipo pamapeto pake, zili kwa anthu omwe ali m'banjamo kuti asankhe ngati akufuna kukhalabe ndikumenyana, kapena kungosiya ndikuchoka. Zonse ziwiri ndi zovuta kupanga zosankha, makamaka ngati mwangoganiza kuti 'banja langa likutha.'

Tinkaganiza kuti pakufunika thandizo la akatswiri pankhani imeneyi. Tinafunsa Shazia Saleem, (Masters in Psychology), amene amagwira ntchito pa uphungu wopatukana ndi kusudzulana pa zimene muyenera kuchita pamene mukuganiza kuti, ‘ukwati wanga ukugwa’ ndi mmene mungasinthire zinthu.

Ndi Zizindikiro Ziti Zosonyeza Kuti Ukwati Wanu Ukutha?

Musanayambe kukonza zinthu ndi kuda nkhawa kuti, ‘Ndikuona ngati banja langa likutha’, m’pofunika kumvetsa zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti zimene mukuopa zikuchitikadi.

“Pamene anthu aŵiri ali m’banja, n’kwachibadwa kwa iwo kuganiza kuti chinachake chalakwika pamene unansi wina wayamba kuonekera,” akutero. Shazia. Akufotokoza zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti banja lanu likutha - zinthu zofunika kuzisamalira kuti musadabwe ndi kudabwa, kuganiza kuti, 'Banja langa likutha ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite.'

• Kuyankhulana kosakwanira - Nkhani zoyankhulana ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zoyamba zaukwati kapena ubale kutha. Ngati simukulankhula, kukhudza kapena kugawana malingaliro anu mwanjira ina iliyonse, pakhala kusokonekera kwa kulumikizana komwe kunakubweretsani pamodzi poyamba.
• Chidziwitso cha kudzipatula - Mwina mukuganiza kuti 'banja langa likutha ndipo sindisamala'. Kapena mwina mukuganiza kuti, 'Banja langa likutha ndipo mwamuna wanga alibe nazo ntchito, inenso sindisamala.' Kutalikirana kungakhale chizindikiro chowopsa chifukwa zikutanthauza kuti mwatuluka kale muukwati wanu pamlingo wina
• Kudzimva kukhala wosatetezeka komanso wopwetekedwa mtima - Ngati mumadzimva kukhala osatekeseka m’banja mwanu, osadziŵa za malo amene muli ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo mukuona kufunika kokhumudwitsana kaŵirikaŵiri, pali mwayi waukulu kuti ukwati wanu ukusonyeza kuti pali ming’alu.
• Kusokonezeka maganizo - Ukwati sungakhale onse bata ndi maluwa ndi shampeni, koma aliyense ubale wabwino ali ndi malingaliro oyambira amtendere ndi chidaliro chomwe chiyenera kukhala champhamvu kuposa mikangano kapena mikangano iliyonse yomwe imachitika. Ngati banja lanu limakhala losokonezeka maganizo nthawi zonse, ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane bwino.
• Kutopa - Kutopa nthawi zonse muubwenzi kapena m'banja ndichizindikiro chotsimikizika kuti mwina ukukhala ubale wapoizoni womwe ukufooketsa m'modzi kapena nonse mphamvu zabwino zilizonse. Ngati lingaliro lanu, lotopa ndiloti 'ukwati wanga ukutha ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite', mwayi ndizomwe zikuchitika.
• Kulephera kufotokoza ndikumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika - Banja lanu likakhala ngati chifunga chakhazikika pa inu ndipo nthawi zonse mumaganiza kuti, 'banja langa likutha ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite', koma simungapitirire pamenepo, pamene simungathe kufotokoza kapena kupanga ndondomeko, ndi chizindikiro kuti banja lanu likhoza kutha.
• Kudzimva kukhala wosungulumwa komanso wopanda chiyembekezo - Palibe choipa kuposa kumva osakwatiwa mu chiyanjano kapena ukwati chifukwa muli nokha ngakhale kuti mukuyenera kukhala ubale wapamtima kwambiri pa moyo wanu. Kukhala wosungulumwa m’banja kumakupangitsani kumva ngati kuti chiyembekezo chonse chatha, chomwe chingakhale chizindikiro chakuti banja lanu lalemetsedwa ndi kutha.

Ukwati Wanga Ukugwa - -13 Malangizo Akatswiri Oti Asinthe

Kotero, mwazindikira kuti ukwati wanu ukutha kapena ukutha. Mwina mukuganiza, banja langa likutha ndipo ndi chifukwa changa. Kapena mukuganiza kuti, 'Banja langa lachiŵiri likutha ndipo ndinatha kale.' Mwinamwake mwaganiza zomenyera ukwati wanu koma simukudziŵa mmene mungachitire. Tasonkhanitsa maupangiri akatswiri amomwe mungasinthire banja lomwe likutha.

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1. Dziwani kuti banja lanu lili pamavuto

Kunena zoona, palibe amene amakonda kuvomereza kuti ubwenzi wapamtima wofunika kwambiri pa moyo wanu ndi wopanda ungwiro, mwinanso kutha. 'Ukwati wanga ukutha' ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri komanso chowopsa kuti tifotokoze. Mwinanso mungaganize kuti mwa kuvomereza zimenezo m’malo mozinyalanyaza, mudzayambitsa mavuto amene sanalipo kale.

Takutumizirani nkhani. Kukana kuyang'ana vuto kumaso, kulipukuta pansi pa rug etc. sikumagwira ntchito ndipo sikungathandize kubwezeretsa ukwati. Zidzangophuka ndikukula pansi pamenepo ndipo pamapeto pake zidzaphulika pamaso panu. Simukuthetsa kalikonse poyesa kuti banja lanu ndi losangalala, mwina mukupangitsa kuti zinthu ziipireipire.

"Anthu ambiri amakana kuti pali vuto lililonse m'banja mwawo ndipo amayesa kulipukuta pansi pa kapeti." Koma, poyang'anizana ndi kuvomereza kuti palibe ukwati umene uli wangwiro, ndi kuti ukwati wanu weniweni, ukhoza kukhala ndi ming'alu ndi zolakwika, ukhoza kuchita zodabwitsa.

Yang'anani ukwati wanu m'maso ndi kuvomereza kuti ngakhale kuti udakali ndi makhalidwe abwino ambiri, pali nkhani zomwe sizinganyalanyazidwenso. Mukapanga mtendere ndi mfundo iyi, mutha kuchitapo kanthu zenizeni konza ukwati wosweka.

2. Muziganizira kwambiri vuto limodzi pa nthawi

Zimakhala zovuta kuvomereza mavuto m'banja, chifukwa ndiye zonse zomwe mumayamba kuziwona ndizovuta. Kodi mumayamba bwanji kuchita zinthu ngati zonse zikuwoneka kuti zasokonekera? Kodi nkhani imodzi ndi yofunika kwambiri kuposa ina ndipo muyenera kuika zinthu patsogolo bwanji?

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Lingaliraninso Ukwati Wanu Panthawi Yopatukana Ndi Malangizo 13 Awa

Tangoganizani kuti muli ndi mulu waukulu wa zovala pabedi lanu zomwe mwasiya kuyeretsa kwa miyezi ingapo. Ndi mulu womwe umakula ndikukulirakulira ndipo pamapeto pake, sudziwa komwe ungayambire kotero kuti umangounyalanyaza ndikuyembekeza kuti uchoka wokha. Koma kenako mwaganiza zoyamba pang'ono - kuyika zinthu ziwiri kapena zitatu patsiku. Pang'onopang'ono, muluwo umachepa ndipo bedi lanu limawoneka loyera.

Pitani ku nkhani za ukwati wanu chimodzimodzi. Chikukuvutitsani kwambiri ndi chiyani? Ndi chiyani pamwamba pa mulu? Kodi ndichifukwa choti inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu simukhala pamodzi? Kodi ndichifukwa choti sachita khama kuti mudziwe achibale anu ndi anzanu? Chachikulu ndi chiyani ubale wofiira mbendera kukuyang'anani kumaso?

"Yesetsani kuzindikira mavuto onse kapena nkhani zomwe zikukudetsani nkhawa ndiyeno muziika patsogolo ndikuzithetsa limodzi ndi limodzi potengera kuopsa kwake m'malo moyesa kuthetsa zonse pamodzi. Nthawi zonse ndi bwino kuganizira vuto limodzi panthawi imodzi," Shazia akulangiza.

3. Yambani koyamba

Zimakhala zokopa kukhala zonse, 'palibe chomwe chimasokoneza cholakwa changa ndiye chifukwa chiyani ndiyenera kukhala woyamba kuyesa kukonza?' Timapeza - zingakhale zabwino kwambiri ngati anthu ena atazindikira zovuta zawo ndi mavuto awo pawokha ndikupanga kusuntha koyamba. Titha kukhala ndi mapazi athu mmwamba ndikudzimva kukhala odekha komanso opambana nthawi zonse.

Chowonadi ndi chakuti, pali nthawi yomwe mungafunike kuwongolera ukwati wanu mopitilira muyeso wanu. Pamene muyenera kusankha ngati kupsa mtima kwanu kukukwanira ndi mkwiyo ndizofunika kwambiri kuposa kupulumutsa banja lanu. Ndiyeno mwina mukuganiza njira zopepesera moona mtima kwa munthu amene wakhumudwitsa. Kapenanso kambiranani.

Ngati mukuganiza kuti ukwati wanu ndi wofunika kwambiri, ndi nthawi yoti muyike pambali kudzikonda kwaumunthu wamkulu ndikuyamba kuchitapo kanthu, kaya mukubweretsa nkhani kapena kupereka nthawi yokambirana. "Palibe vuto pakupanga kusuntha koyamba. Sungani kudzikonda kapena malingaliro aliwonse oyipa pambali ndikuyesa kukonza, zikhala zopindulitsa," akugogomezera Shazia.

Dziwani, ngati inu nthawi zonse ndi amene mukuyamba kusuntha ndikuchita izi makamaka chifukwa mnzanuyo sadzatero, ingakhale nthawi yoganizira ngati ukwati woterowo ndi woyenera kumenyera poyamba. Ngati lingaliro lanu loyamba ndilo, 'ukwati ndi wofunika?' ndipo 'banja langa likutha ndipo mwamuna wanga alibe nazo ntchito', dzifunseni ngati ndi inu nokha mukumenyana pano. Koma ukwati uliwonse ndi wosiyana, kotero inu mumatero inu.

4. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Pali zinthu zina zomwe titha kuzithetsa tokha muubwenzi, pomwe zina zitha kugwiritsa ntchito khutu laukadaulo komanso malingaliro. "Ngati zinthu sizikuyenda bwino, okwatirana angayese kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri kwa ochiritsa kapena phungu - zidzakuthandizani kusankha ndikuzindikira zomwe mukufunadi kwa inu nokha ndi banja lanu," akulangiza Shazia.

“Ndinkayenda maulendo ambiri chifukwa cha ntchito kotero kuti sindikanathera nthaŵi yochuluka m’banja langa.” Ndinadziŵa kuti mwamuna wanga amanyansidwa nazo ndipo anapitiriza kuganiza kuti, ‘ukwati wanga wakutali ukutha’ akutero Leila. Pomaliza, anatiuza kuti tifufuze uphungu waukwati. Ndinali wozengereza pang’ono kufotokoza mavuto athu kwa mlendo, koma ndinganene mosabisa kanthu kuti zathandiza kwambiri.”

Kufunafuna thandizo nthawi zambiri kumakhala ngati kuvomereza kuti simungathe kuthana ndi mavuto anu. Ndipo, timaphunzira kuchokera kumadera ambiri kuti kukhala wodziyimira pawokha komanso wamphamvu kumatanthauza kutha kudzikonza nokha. Koma nthawi zina, kupempha thandizo ndi chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachitire nokha komanso banja lanu. Ndipo, Bonobology gulu la akatswiri odziwa zachipatala ndi kungodinanso kwina.

5. Khalani okoma mtima, ngakhale zitakhala zovuta

Ndife okonda kukoma mtima, koma tikudziwanso kuti nzosavuta kunena kuti, 'khalani okoma mtima' ngati tili pamasewera ochezera. Kukhazikitsa kukoma mtima m'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, kukhala okoma mtima makamaka zinthu zikakhala zovuta ndipo tikupwetekedwa ndi kukwiya ndi nkhani ina yonse ndipo ikufunika kugwira ntchito kupitilira zochitika zonse zolimbikitsa.

“Ndimamukonda mwamuna wanga, koma panali zaka zingapo m’banja mwathu pamene iye sakanatha kundisonyeza mmene ndimafunikira.” Ntchito, amayi ake odwala ndi zosoŵa zake zinali kumulepheretsa nthaŵi zonse.

"Choncho, potsiriza, ndinamukhazika pansi ndikumuuza kuti ndi munthu wodabwitsa, koma wanga zofunika zamaganizo Sindinathe kubwera kachiwiri. Ndikadatha kumuuza kuti sakubweretsa chilichonse muukwati, koma sizikanakhala zoona ndipo sindinkafuna kumukhumudwitsa,” akutero Shelly.

“Nthaŵi zonse khalani okoma mtima ndi mwaulemu kwa inuyo ndi mnzanuyo ngakhale m’nthaŵi zovuta kwambiri popeza kuti mkhalidwewo ukangotha, udzasiya zipsera zocheperapo ndi liwongo lopunduka,” anatero Shazia, ndipo tikuvomereza. Kukoma mtima sikungakonze ukwati wanu, koma simudzanong’oneza bondo pambuyo pake, mosasamala kanthu za mmene zinthu zikuyendera.

6. Musaganize kuti iwowo ali ndi mlandu

“Pamene anthu aŵiri ali pamodzi sikulakwa kuimba mlandu munthu m’modzi, mverani maganizo anu, zolankhula zanu ndi zochita zanu, ndipo musapite. kusunthika kwa mlandu,” Shazia anachenjeza.

Masewera odzudzula mwina ndi chinthu chosathandiza kwambiri chomwe mungachite poganiza kuti, 'banja langa likutha ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite.' Zingawoneke ngati zokopa, chifukwa ndi ndani pakati pathu amene sanaganizepo kuti zingakhale zophweka bwanji kusiya udindo wonse pa wina.

Koma, monga tidanenera, sizikuthandizani, kapena banja lanu. Ngati vuto ndi kusakhulupirika, ndipo mukuchita ndi kubera mwamuna kapena mkazi, ndithudi musamadziimbe mlandu kapena kuganiza kuti pali chinachake chikusoweka mwa inu. Koma ngati mukuonabe kuti ukwati wanu ndi wofunika kuupulumutsa ndipo mungathe kuudutsa, mungafunike kukumba mozama ndi kukambirana za chibwenzicho.

Kuvomera udindo ndi njira ya njira ziwiri ndipo mwina zingakuvuteni, makamaka ngati munakwatirana kale ndipo simukufuna kukumana ndi mfundo yakuti banja lanu lachiwiri likutha. Koma ndi gawo lofunikira pakutembenuka a chikondi chakufa, choncho pitirirani ndikupereka chithunzithunzi chanu chabwino kwambiri.

7. Muziganizira kwambiri kamvekedwe kanu mukamalankhula nawo

Tikudziwa, tikudziwa. Tikukupemphani kuti musinthe zokambirana zanu za m'banja. Ndife akonzi ndipo ndife owopsa, koma timvereni. Kodi mumafunadi kukhala munthu amene amati, 'ukwati wanga ukutha ndipo ndichita zonse zomwe ndingathe kuti ndikhale wosavuta komanso wankhanza momwe ndingathere?' Mosakayikira mukupweteka ndipo mwina iyi ndi njira yanu yothanirana ndi vutoli, koma kodi idzapulumutsa banja lanu? Ayi, sizidzatero.

Mutha kuyimbira mnzanu pa chilichonse chomwe achita osadzipangitsa kuti aziwoneka ngati ndi munthu woyipa kwambiri. Kodi mukukumbukira zimene tinanena zokhudza kukhala okoma mtima? Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mayesero achifundo. Osanyoza, osakhala onyoza, osakuwa (mochuluka).

Sitikunena kuti izi zikhala zophweka. M'malo mwake, mungafunikire kukalipa ndikuchokapo musanalankhule nawo bwino. Ndipo izo ziri bwino. Lowani mu mkwiyo wanu; kukulitsa chiwopsezo mu ubale wanu ndi kutsogolera zokambirana kuchokera pamenepo. Dzikumbutseni kuti uyu ndi munthu wabwino kwambiri yemwe mwina adachitapo zoyipa kapena kukukhumudwitsani. Ndipo yankho lakuti 'ukwati wanga ukutha ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite' si 'kuwaimba mwachipongwe.'

8. Khalani oleza mtima

Mukudziwa momwe zimatengera zaka kuti mupange ubale, onetsetsani kuti mumakhulupirirana wina ndi mnzake ndipo mutha kupanga moyo limodzi? Eya, zimatenga nthaŵi yaitali kuti ukwati uwonongeke ndiponso kuti utalikirane manganso chikhulupiriro ndipo perekani ubale wanu chithunzi china.
Ndi chinthu chomwe muyenera kuchita pang'onopang'ono, kotero musaganize kuti zichitika usiku umodzi.

Kukhulupirirana kotayika, kumenyana kosalekeza, kutaya nthawi yomwe mumakhala pamodzi - zonsezi zimawunjikana pakapita nthawi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti banja liwonongeke. Kulemba pa ming'alu ndi chinthu chimodzi, kuyesa kukonzanso kuchokera muzu ndi chinthu china. Choncho musayese ndikuthamangira.

'Ndimaona ngati banja langa likutha'nso kumangokhalira kukuvutitsani sikukhala kosavuta. Mukuyesera kutembenuza zinthu mu ubale womwe ukusokonekera kwinaku mukudabwa zomwe mungawauze anthu, kaya alankhule kapena ayi ndi zina zotero. Palibe mwa izi zikhala zachangu komanso zosavuta, choncho khalani oleza mtima ndi inu nokha khalani oleza mtima ndi ubale wanu.

9. Osadzikayikira mopambanitsa

Lisa anati: “Pamene zinkaoneka ngati kuti ukwati wanga wa zaka 5 watsala pang’ono kutha, zonse zimene ndikanatha kuchita zinali kukhala pansi n’kumaganiza kuti, ‘ukwati wanga ukutha ndipo ndiye chifukwa changa.

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Kudzilankhula koyipa kumabwera kudzatigwera pa nthawi zovuta kwambiri. Zimawoneka ngati tikakhala otsika kwambiri ndipo titha kugwiritsa ntchito nkhani yachipongwe, ubongo wathu umatipereka ndipo umatiuza kuti ndife anthu owopsa omwe akuwononga maukwati athu. Palibe chomwe timachita chikuwoneka bwino ndipo timadziimba mlandu pa chilichonse chomwe sichikuyenda bwino.

Khalani wodekha ndi inu nokha. Ngakhale mutakhala okoma mtima kwa mnzanu pomuyitana, kumbukiraninso kukhala wabwino kwa inu nokha. Inde, muyenera kuyankha komanso udindo mu maubwenzi anu ndipo mwina pali zinthu zomwe mungachite bwino. Koma kudzimenya nthaŵi zonse kungakugwetseni pansi ndipo sikungateteze ukwati wanu.

10. Sonyezani kuyamikira

Tikudziwa kuti tapitilira kukhala okoma mtima ndi abwino ndi zonsezo. Kuyang'ana mozama, ndikuyamikira zinthu za wokondedwa wanu zomwe mumakonda. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mumanyalanyaza zinthu zomwe zikukupwetekani kapena kukukwiyitsani, koma pamene mukuyesera kuchiritsa banja, kuyamikira pang’ono kumapita kutali. Kupatula apo, tonse timakhumudwa tikakhala kudzimva kukhala wosayamikiridwa muubwenzi.

Harper ananena kuti: “Mkazi wanga ali ndi zinthu zambiri zimene ndimakonda ndipo nthawi ina m’banja mwathu anayamba kuchita zinthu zambiri zimene sindinazikonde.” Koma sindinkafuna kuti ‘ukwati wanga usokonezeke ndipo sindikusamala’ n’kumangoganizira zinthu zimene zinasokonekera.

Inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndinu anthu kwambiri ndipo motero muli olakwa kwambiri. Tsopano, ndithudi, pali zinthu zosakhululukidwa ndi zosakambitsirana m’banja lililonse – nkhanza, kusakhulupirika ndi zina zotero – koma ngati ndi banja lomwe lasokera chifukwa chosowa nthawi ndi khama, mwina mungayang’ane pa zomwe zidakali zabwino kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.

Kodi iwo amaganiziradi zosoŵa zanu pamene akugula zinthu kapena pamene mukuwonera TV? Kodi amangodziwa zomwe mukufuna mukakhala ndi tsiku loipa kapena mukadwala? Kodi amaonetsetsa kuti mwapeza chakudya chamasana chodzaza mukapita kuntchito? Kodi amangotenga zanu mwachibadwa chinenero chachikondi? Auzeni zimene akuchita bwino, ndipo mwina zoipa zimene akuchitazo zidzazimiririka.

11. Pangani masiku a sabata

Kuthera nthawi yabwino pamodzi n’kofunika m’banja lililonse. Ngati banja lotalikirana likutha, mausiku amatsiku ndi ofunikira kwambiri kuwonetsetsa kuti mumapeza nthawi imodzi, osati kungokambirana zamavuto omwe muli nawo, komanso kuti mukhale ndi wina ndi mnzake.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 11 Zosangalatsa Zokhalira Ndi Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Wanu: Limbikitsani Ukwati Wanu

Koma simufunika kukhala ndi banja lotalikirana kuti lithe. Madongosolo otanganidwa, ana ndi zina zotero zimakonza chiwembu chotipangitsa kukhala otanganidwa ndi kutopa kwa gawo lalikulu la tsiku ndipo zimakhala zovuta kupeza nthawi yocheza wina ndi mzake, makamaka ngati mwakhumudwa kale ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo simunakhale ndi nthawi yofotokozera.

Ikani patsogolo tsiku limodzi pa sabata kwa maola angapo pomwe mumasonkhana popanda zosokoneza kapena zododometsa. Simumayimba mafoni kapena kuyang'ana pazenera kapena kupewana. Mumakhala pansi, kugawana chakudya ndikudzikumbutsa kuti mutha kukhalabe ndi moyo wofunikira kugawana nawo. Pamene ukwati kapena ubale ndi m'mbuyo koma osati choyambirira, m'tsogolo muli mavuto.

12. Sankhani nkhondo zanu

Mvetserani, simupambana mkangano uliwonse ndipo ndi zopanda pake kuyesa ndipo mulimonse, kodi mumafunanso ukwati pomwe chilichonse chimakhala ndewu? Nthawi zina, mumangopereka mwaulemu ndikusiya zinthu chifukwa sindinu ng'ombe yamphongo ndipo simuyenera kumangirira nsagwada zanu zonse zazing'ono.

“Mwamuna wanga sanawunjike bwino mbale ndipo zinandichititsa misala ndipo zinayambitsa mikangano pakati pathu. malamulo omenyera chilungamo, makamaka panthaŵi imene ukwati wathu unali wosalimba kwambiri, ndipo unatsala pang’ono kukhala chifukwa cholekana. Ndiyeno, ndinazindikira, sindinkasamala kwambiri za mbale ndipo ndinali kungokhala wouma khosi, ngakhale pamene ubongo wanga wamantha unapita, 'ukwati wanga ukutha' akutero Jason.

Chiyanjo choyamba cha 'ukwati wanga wautali ukutha' kapena kungoti 'Ndikumva ngati banja langa likutha' ndi mantha. Ndipo mantha amabwera chifukwa chofuna kumenyana chifukwa simudziwa momwe mungapiririre. Kwambiri, sankhani nkhondo zanu. N'zotopetsa kulimbana pa chilichonse ndi kulimbana chimodzimodzi mobwerezabwereza, ndipo kwenikweni si koyenera.

13. Sankhani chikondi

Monga zaka zatsopano monga izi zikumveka, timaganiza kuti ndizosavuta. Kusankha chikondi ndiko kusankhanso kudzikonda, kusankha chimene chimakusangalatsani ndi kuganizira kwambiri. Ngati mukuganiza kuti 'ukwati wanga ukutha ndipo sindikusamala', simuyenera kudzipangitsa kukhala osamala chifukwa aliyense wakuuzani kuti ukwati ndi wamuyaya. Kapena mwina banja lanu lachiwiri likutha ndipo mukufuna kulipulumutsa osati chifukwa cha chikondi, koma chifukwa chakuti mwatopa kwambiri ndi zinthu zomwe sizikuyenda bwino.

Talankhula mwatsatanetsatane za momwe mungapulumutsire banja lomwe likutha, koma onetsetsani kuti mukuchita pazifukwa zoyenera. Ngati mukukhala m’banja losasangalala kwa ana pamene mukuganiza kuti, ‘banja langa likutha ndipo mwamuna wanga sasamala’, simukusankha chikondi.

Nthawi zina, chinthu chachikondi kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikuchita kuchoka pachibwenzi. Menyerani nkhondo, inde. Pangani kuyesetsa kulikonse kuti mutembenuke, mwamtheradi. Koma kusankha chikondi ndikusankha njira yathanzi, yowona mtima kwambiri ndikumamatira. Kupanga ukwati kukhala wovuta. Nthawi zina, kuti chikondi chigwire ntchito, muyenera kuchoka m'banja.

'Banja langa likutha ndipo ndi chifukwa changa' ndi maganizo amene amatiwononga tikakumana ndi mavuto. Ngakhale kuti si banja lililonse lomwe lingapulumutsidwe, tikukhulupirira kuti izi zimakuthandizani kupanga zisankho zabwino ndikukusungani inu ndi banja lanu mukuyenda kapena, kukuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo ndi mphamvu ndi kulimba mtima.

Ibibazo

Kuthana ndi Kunyong'onyeka M'banja? Njira 10 Zogonjetsera

Momwe Mungachokere Ukwati Mwamtendere: Malangizo 9 Akatswiri Othandizira

Chikondi Pambuyo pa Ukwati: Njira 9 Zomwe Zimasiyana Ndi Chikondi Musanakwatirane

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.