Zinthu 30 Zonyenga Zomwe Narcissists Amanena Pamkangano Ndi Zomwe Akutanthauza

Anthu onse ali ndi mikhalidwe ya narcissistic pamlingo wina. Mwa anthu athanzi, kuchuluka kwanthawi zonse kumawathandiza kunyadira zomwe akwaniritsa. Koma narcissism imeneyi imakhala yowopsa ikachuluka ndipo imagwiritsidwa ntchito kusokoneza ena. Zinthu zomwe anthu olankhula narcisists amanena pokangana zimatha kubweretsa imfa ya kudzidalira kwanu.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake, kuti tidziwe zambiri zokhudza nkhanza zodzikuza, tinapita kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Chavi Bhargava Sharma (Masters in Psychology), yemwe ali ndi chidziwitso chachikulu m'magawo osiyanasiyana a thanzi la maganizo ndi thanzi labwino, kuphatikizapo uphungu wa ubale.

Kodi Narcissist Ndi Chiyani?

Chavi akufotokoza kuti, “Anthu okonda kudziona ngati ofunika kwambiri. Amafuna kutamandidwa ndi kusamalidwa nthawi zonse. Mwachionekere, amaoneka ngati anthu odzidalira. Koma mosazindikira kapena mosazindikira, sadzidalira kwambiri. Ndipotu, ali ndi kudzidalira kochepa kwambiri.

Iwo si opusa. Ndipotu ndi achikoka komanso okopa kwambiri. Amagwiritsa ntchito chithumwa chimenechi kuti akupusitseni ndi kupotoza mfundo kuti ziwapindulitse.

Buku Lofufuza ndi Kuwerengera la Matenda a Mitsempha (DSM-5) limatchula zinthu zisanu ndi zinayi zomwe munthu ayenera kuchita kuti akhale ndi vuto la NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), koma limanena kuti munthu ayenera kukwaniritsa zinthu zisanu zokha kuti akhale ndi vuto la kudzikuza:

• Kudziona kukhala wofunika kwambiri
• Kutanganidwa ndi zongopeka za kupambana kopanda malire, mphamvu, kukongola, kukongola, kapena chikondi choyenera
• Chikhulupiriro chakuti iwo ndi apadera komanso apadera ndipo amatha kumvetsetsedwa ndi, kapena ayenera kuyanjana ndi anthu ena apadera kapena apamwamba kapena mabungwe.
• Kufunika kosilira mopambanitsa
• Kudzimva kuti ndinu woyenera
• Mchitidwe wodyerana masuku pamutu
• Kupanda chifundo
• Kusirira ena kapena kukhulupirira kuti ena amawachitira nsanje
• Chiwonetsero cha makhalidwe odzikuza ndi odzikuza kapena maganizo

Ngati wina aliyense wapafupi nanu, kaya ndi mnzanu, wachibale wanu, kapena mnzanu akusonyeza zizindikiro zomwe zili pamwambapa, dziwani kuti sizikugwirizana ndi inu. Ndinu chandamale cha nkhanza muubwenzi osati chifukwa cha nkhanzazo.

Aliyense amene ali pafupi ndi narcissist adzakhala chandamale cha nkhanza zake, mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi ndani. Koma ngati mumadziwa zinthu zomwe anthu olankhula narcissists amanena kuti akupusitseni, mukhoza kudzikonzekera kuti muthane nazo.

Zinthu 30 Zonyenga Zomwe Narcissists Amanena Pamkangano Ndi Zomwe Akutanthauza

Chavi akufotokoza kuti: “Chizindikiro chachikulu cha kuloŵerera m’maganizo chagona paubwana wa munthu kapena mmene analeredwera mopanda malire. Tsopano popeza tikudziwa kuti narcissism ndi zoyambitsa zake, tiyeni tifufuze mozama zomwe anthu amalankhula pokangana.

1. “Ndiwe wamanyazi”

Chavi akugogomezera kuti, "Wogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo sakhala ndi udindo pa khalidwe lake. SI chifukwa chake.

Ngati akukupangitsani kukayikira zenizeni zanu, akuyesera kukunyozani. Kukutchani kuti ndinu wokwiya kwambiri ndi njira yakale yosinthira mlandu . Izi zimathandiza munthu amene ali ndi NPD kunyalanyaza udindo pa zochita zake.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindikufuna kuvomereza kuti ndi vuto langa.”

2. “Wapenga, ukufunika thandizo”

Kukuitanani kuti ndinu wamisala ndi njira imodzi yodziwika bwino yotsutsana ndi anthu odzikonda. Anthu odzikonda amatchedwanso 'opanga zinthu zamisala' chifukwa kukupangitsani kukayikira nzeru zanu kumathandiza kuti azikulamulirani. Ndi njira yodziwika bwino yopezera mphamvu zamagetsi kuti mudziphe kudzidalira kwanu ndikukupangitsani kukayikira zoona zake.

Zomwe akutanthauza: "Sinditenga udindo wa izi, kotero ndisiya kumvetsera."

3. “Pepani kuti mwamva choncho”

Zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena pamkangano zimaphatikizaponso kupepesa kwabodza ponena za momwe 'iwe' ukumvera motere. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti akumva chisoni chilichonse. Akungopangitsa kuti zimveke ngati ukukhumudwa popanda chifukwa chomveka. M'malo mwake, ayenera kunena kuti “Pepani kuti ndinachita izi” kuti asonyeze kuti ali ndi mlandu pa zolakwa zawo.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindikukhulupirira kuti ndakupwetekani ndipo sindidzatenga udindo pa zochita zanga.”

4. “Mukuchita zinthu mopanda nzeru”

Anthu okonda nkhanza amagwiritsa ntchito mawuwa pofuna kunyoza malingaliro anu ndikuchepetsa malingaliro anu. Njira yonyenga imeneyi imagwira ntchito bwino kwa anthu omwe amakonda kukhala omasuka komanso omwe sangachitepo kanthu motsutsana ndi chinyengo chomwe akuchitirani.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndilibe ufulu womvetsera maganizo omwe sagwirizana nane.”

5. "Ndinu mwayi kuti ndapirira izi"

Popeza munthu wa narcissist ali ndi malingaliro odzikuza, amawona kuti akukuchitirani zabwino pokhala ndi inu. Mumayembekezeredwa kumva ‘oyamikira’ ndi ‘odala’ kuti asankha kukhala nanu. Cholinga cha mawu achipongwewa ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wopanda pake.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndikuopa kuti mukundisiya ndipo mwina mungandisiye.”

6. “Umu ndi momwe mukundibwezera?

Malinga ndi Chavi, chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena akamakangana ndi chakuti, “Ndakuchitirani zambiri koma simundiyamikira.” Amawerengera zabwino zonse zomwe amachita kenako n’kuyembekezera kuti muwabwezere. Kodi mungawabwezere bwanji chifukwa cha ‘chifundo’ chawo? Posawalankhula motsutsa.

7. “Ndine wabwino koposa”

Kudzinenera kuti ndi "mnzanu wabwino kwambiri wachikondi" ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena za iwo okha. Monga momwe kafukufuku akusonyezera, amaona kuti ndi abwino kwambiri ndipo amalimbikitsidwa kukhalabe ndi malingaliro abwino kwambiri. Chifukwa chake, amaoneka ngati adzigwetsa pansi kuti akhale nanu ndipo simuli woyenera kwa iwo.

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Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndikuopa kuti sindili woyenera kwa inu.”

8. “Ndikuchita zimenezi chifukwa chakuti ndimakukondani”

Mawu oti “Ndikungochita izi chifukwa cha chikondi” kapena “Ndikufunirani zabwino” ndi ena mwa mawu omwe anthu odzikonda amagwiritsa ntchito. Amanena kuti akukuzunzani. Amachita nsanje kapena kudziona kuti ndi osatetezeka chifukwa chakuti “amakukondani”.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndimasangalala kukulamulirani ndi kukudyerani masuku pamutu.”

9. “Sikuti zonse zili za inu”

Chavi anati: “A Narcissists amadziona kuti ndi osafunika ndipo n’chifukwa chake amafuna kuti anthu azingowasirira ndi kuwatsimikizira nthawi zonse.

Chifukwa chake, "Sizinthu zonse zokhudza inu" ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena chifukwa chilichonse chimakhudza IWO. Amadziteteza ngati muwabera, ngakhale kwa kanthawi kochepa. Angakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa komanso wamanyazi ngati muwachotsa chidwi. Kumbukirani, kudzimva wolakwa muubwenzi ndi mtundu wina wa nkhanza.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Musandibere bingu langa.”

10. “Sitikufuna wina aliyense”

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe munthu wodzikonda anganene muubwenzi kuti akusungeni kuti muzimumvera komanso kukhala wokhulupirika kwa iwo. Ngati akukangana nanu chifukwa chocheza ndi anthu ena, dziwani kuti akuyesera kukupatulani kwa aliyense. Akuyesera kuti ukhale ubale wodalirana.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindikufuna kupikisana kuti ndipeze nthawi yanu ndi chisamaliro chanu chifukwa ndikufuna kuti nonse mukhale a ine ndekha.”

11. "Uyenera kusankha mbali"

Mawu odzikuza awa ndi njira yobisika yogwiritsira ntchito malingaliro anu. Angakufunseni mafunso monga “Ngati mungasankhe kukhala ndi munthu m'modzi padziko lapansi, ndani angakhale?” poganiza kuti munganene kuti ndi iyeyo. Ndipo ngati simusankha iwo kuposa ena, angakwiye ndikukuchititsani manyazi.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndisankheni. Mundikonde kuposa ena. Mundiuze kuti ndine wofunika kwambiri kwa inu.”

12. “Sindinu kanthu popanda ine”

Chavi anati: “Anthu okonda kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo amangokhalira kuganizira za mphamvu zawo, ndipo amaona kuti zimene achita bwino n’zabwino kuposa ena.

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Chifukwa chake, zinthu zomwe a narcissists amanena kuti akunyozeni zimaphatikizanso kutenga mbiri pazomwe mwakwaniritsa. “Simukanachita popanda ine” ndi imodzi mwa njira zotsutsana za narcissist. Amakupangitsani kumva kuti muli ndi ngongole kwa iwo chifukwa cha kupambana kwanu.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndikufuna gawo mu ulemerero wanu kuti ndisunge chuma changa chodzikonda.”

13. “Chabwino, n’zosadabwitsa kuti palibe amene amakukondani”.

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena kuti akusungeni mumzere. Ndi njira yawo yowonongera kudzidalira kwanu ndikukupangitsani kumva ngati mulibe wina woti mulankhule naye. Mnzanu amakupangitsani kudzimva kuti ndinu wosatetezeka pokuuzani kuti palibe wina amene angakukondeni kapena kukusamalirani monga momwe iwo amachitira.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Mukamadzimva kuti ndinu nokha komanso kuti ndinu nokha, m’pamenenso mungakhale ndi mwayi wochepa wondisiya.”

14. “Ndiwe wosadzidalira, sikokongola”

Zinthu zomwe anthu olankhula narcissists amanena kuti akunyozeni zikuphatikizaponso kukuyitanani 'osatetezeka' komanso 'wosakongola'. Amafuna kuti muzidziona kuti ndinu wolakwa. Iyi ndi njira yawo yoti akusokonezeni pamutu womwe uli nawo. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, mudzadzida kapena kudzikayikira. Kukukhumudwitsani kumawasokoneza kuti asamangodzida okha.

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Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ine ndine amene ndimadzikayikira ndipo ndikuopa kuti mundisiya.”

15. “Osalira, ukungondinyenga”.

Chavi akufotokoza kuti, “Chifukwa chimene anthu samachoka m’maubwenzi ovutitsa maganizo n’chakuti sadziwa kuchuluka kwa poizoni amene amakumana nawo tsiku ndi tsiku.

“Tiyeni titenge fanizo la chule m’chitsime, ngati mutawonjezera kutentha kwa madzi mwadzidzidzi, chuleyo amalumphira kunja, koma mukamawonjezera kutentha pang’onopang’ono, chuleyo amatha kuzolowerana.

"Umu ndi momwe mawu odzikuza amagwirira ntchito. Mumachititsa kuti nkhanza zamaganizo zikhale zachilendo chifukwa simudziwa kuti mukuzunzidwa m'njira zobisika." Chifukwa chake, akakuuzani kuti musiye kulira, amangofuna kuti mumve ngati munthu wofooka. Mwachidule, akukutsutsani ndi kukuimbani mlandu pa zomwe akuchita.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindikufuna kuti mufotokoze momwe mukumvera.”

16. “Si mlandu wanga, ndi chifukwa cha iwe/ndalama/kupsyinjika/ntchito”

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu amene amakhala ndi mtima wodzikonda nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi chibadwa chodziona ngati ozunzidwa, ndichifukwa chake amatha kudzudzula inuyo, munthu wina, kapena chinthu china chakunja chomwe sangathe kuchilamulira. Kudziteteza komanso kusewera khadi la ozunzidwa ndi njira zodziwika bwino zosinthira mlandu.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Kutenga udindo pa zochita zanga kungafunike kuti ndisiye kudzikuza kwanga ndipo sindingathe kuchita zimenezo.”

17. “Sindinaiwalebe kulakwa kwako kuja”

Zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena pamkangano ndi monga kutchula zolakwa zanu zakale koma osatenga udindo pa zolakwa zawo. Mwina kulakwa kwanu kwakale sikukugwirizana ndi mkangano womwe ulipo. Koma angakuuzenibe kuti akusokonezeni ndikukuikani pachitetezo. Izi zimatchedwa 'saladi ya mawu' yodzikonda.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Tsopano muli ndi umboni wotsutsana nane ndipo ndiyenera kukana mfundozo zivute zitani.”

18. “Izi sizinachitike”

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi mtima wodzikonda samakhala ndi mlandu ngati ena, zomwe zingawalepheretse kutenga udindo pa zochita zawo. Chifukwa chake, "Umboni wanu sutsimikizira chilichonse" ndi "Sindinanenepo zimenezo" ndi ena mwa mawu omwe anthu odzikonda amagwiritsa ntchito.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndikudziwa kuti ndine wolakwa koma ndidzakana kwathunthu kuti udzikayikire.”

19. “Khalani omasuka.

Malinga ndi Chavi, zinthu zomwe munthu wodzikonda anganene muubwenzi ndi monga “Ndi nkhani yaing’ono kwambiri. Musaikokomeza.” Ngakhale ofufuza apeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi NPD sadziwa zambiri ndipo satha kuyanjana ndi ena, zomwe zingathandize kufotokoza chifukwa chake saona makhalidwe awo mofanana ndi inu.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Mukundiyang’anizana nane kotero ndikuchepetsa/kuchepetsa nkhawa yanu.”

20. “Ukachita zimenezo, sindidzakukondanso”.

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zodabwitsa zomwe anthu omwe amalankhula narcissists amakuuzani kuti akukunyozeni. Iwo amakuyikani inu pamalo, momwe inu muyenera 'kutsimikizira' chikondi chanu kwa iwo. Mwina ndi njira yawo kapena msewu wawukulu. Amakuopsezani m’njira zosaoneka bwino ndipo amakusiyani opanda ufulu wosankha nokha.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “ Sindingathe kupirira kukanidwa . Ndikufuna kuti anthu andimvere mosazindikira.”

21. “Sukudziwa zimene ukunena”.

Chavi akugogomezera kuti, "Narcissists ndi anthu osatetezeka kwambiri. Umunthu wawo ndi njira yodzitetezera ku ziwopsezo zomwe akuganiza, monga kudzudzula." Chifukwa chake, amadzichinjiriza ndikuyesera mwamphamvu kuti adzimve kuti ndi apamwamba kuposa ena. Ndi njira yawo yonenera kuti, “Ine ndine katswiri.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Nthawi imene ndayamba kumva kuti ndikuopsezedwa, ndimayamba kukuchotserani ulemu.”

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22. "Uyenera kukula!"

“Ndiwe mwana wosakhwima” ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofala kwambiri zomwe munthu wokondana narcissist anganene paubwenzi. Monga momwe Chavi akunenera, "Zonse zomwe mukunena ndi "zopanda nzeru." Munthu yekha pansi pa Dzuwa amene amamvetsetsa ndi iwo.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Kukusekani kumandithandiza kuchepetsa nkhawa zanga.”

23. “Bwanji inu simungafanane nawo?

Kukufananitsani ndi ena kumabwera chifukwa cha makhalidwe akale odzikonda. Amakupangitsani kukhala chete kuti akuthandizeni kapena kuyembekezera kuti mukhale munthu wina kuti akukondeni. Izi zingasokoneze thanzi lanu la maganizo ndikukulepheretsani kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindimadziona kuti ndine wabwino. N’chifukwa chiyani uyenera kudziona choncho?”

24. “Mwandikwiyitsa, n’chifukwa chake ndinanena zinthu zoipa kwa inu”.

Ngati mukuyang'anabe zinthu zomwe munthu wamatsenga anganene, wotchuka kwambiri ndi "Mwandipangitsa kuti ndichite izi". Chilichonse chomwe amachita chimakhala cholondola chifukwa ndimwe "mumawayambitsa". Inu ndi amene mumatulutsa zoipa mwa izo. Kumbali ina, wina aliyense amatha kutulutsa zabwino mwa iwo.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “ Sindingathe kuthana ndi mkwiyo wanga . Choncho ndidzakuchotserani mlandu umenewo.”

25. “Ndipo ine ndimakuona kuti ndiwe munthu wabwino;

Kuyita kuti muntu mubi ncintu cimwi cazintu nzyobaamba. “Ndakhumudwitsidwa ndi inu”, “Sindinayembekezere izi kwa inu”, kapena “Kodi munganene bwanji izi mwa anthu onse?” ndi zina zomwe anthu amalankhula narcissists.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindili pafupi kukhala munthu amene ndikufuna kukhala. Chifukwa chake, ndikufuna kuti mumire nane.”

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26. “Nthawi zonse mumafunafuna zifukwa zokhalira ndi ine”

Nthawi zonse mukayesa kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu kapena kufotokoza chifukwa chake munadzimvera chisoni, zimakupangitsani kumva ngati munapalamula. Amasokoneza malingaliro anu ndikukupangitsani kumva ngati cholinga chanu chokha ndikuwakhumudwitsa. Kotero, iwo amati, "N'chifukwa chiyani mumandidzudzula nthawi zonse?" kapena "Nthawi zonse muyenera kuwononga malingaliro anga / tsiku".

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Sindikufuna kuti mundiwonetse zenizeni. Ndikusangalala kukhala moyo wokana.”

27. “Nthawi zonse mumazitenga molakwika”.

Ponena za zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena akamakangana, Chavi akuti, "Nthawi zonse amakuuzani kuti mwamvetsa molakwika zomwe akunena. Akungofuna kukunyozani pokuuzani kuti sanali ndi cholinga monga momwe munamvera."

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndinanena dala kuti ndikupwetekeni. Koma tsopano ndiyenera kulipira.”

28. “Mwina tizithetsa izi”.

Alibe cholinga chothetsa chibwenzi chanu. Koma anthu odzikonda amanena chinthu china koma amachita china. Amanena za kusiyana nanu nthawi zonse. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa amakonda mukamasonyeza kuti mukupempha chikondi . Amakonda kukuchititsani mantha.

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Kuona momwe mukuopera kunditaya kumandipatsa chisangalalo.”

29. “Sindikudziwa zomwe ukunenazi?

Zikafika pa zinthu zomwe anthu olankhula narcissists amanena pokangana, njira yawo yopitira kumasewera imasewera. Nthawi zambiri amanena zinthu monga “Sindikumvetsa,” “Mukutanthauza chiyani mukamatero?” kapena “Kodi izi zikuchokera kuti?”

Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndikudziwa bwino zomwe mukunena. Sindikufuna kungolankhula za izo.”

30. "Ndakumana kale ndi zinthu zambiri, zikomo chifukwa choipitsitsa"

Kudzimvera chisoni ndi khalidwe lachikale la narcissistic. Chifukwa chake, zinthu zomwe anthu onyoza amalankhula pokangana nthawi zambiri zimaphatikizapo "Moyo wanga ndi wovuta kwambiri", "Ndikumva zowawa kwambiri", "Mukudziwa kuti ndikuvutika maganizo", ndi zina zotero.

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Zimene amatanthauza kwenikweni: “Ndikufuna kuti mundimvere chisoni ndi kundisamalira.”

Pomaliza, Chavi akufotokoza kuti, “Ngati zinthu zomwe anthu odzikonda amanena pamkangano zikumveka bwino kwa inu, muyenera kupita ndi mnzanu ku chithandizo, chifukwa n’zovuta kwambiri kukhala ndi munthu amene ali ndi njira yolimba yodzitetezera. Timagwiritsa ntchito njira zosiyanasiyana kuti tigwire ntchito yodzidalira, monga CBT, psychoanalysis, ndi kuchiritsa mavuto awo akale.” Ngati mukufuna thandizo, alangizi athu ochokera ku gulu la Bonobology ali pafupi nanu.

Ananenanso kuti: “Ndaonapo milandu yovuta, makamaka ya anthu awiri okondana, sapitiriza ngakhale kulandira chithandizo chifukwa mankhwala amangovomera kudzigwira ntchito.

Koma ngati zikuchulukirachulukira, ndi bwino kuima n’kuchoka paubwenzi woipawo. Choncho, nthawi zonse muzidziyang'anira nokha, khalani odekha, ndi kuteteza thanzi lanu lamaganizo.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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