Facts About ‘Stalkers And Stalking’
the act or crime of pursuing or following someone persistently or threateningly
A person who follows or chases another person against his or her will in a threatening or frightening manner
Here are some astounding facts 1 regarding stalkers:
- 80.4% of stalking victims are women while the majority of perpetrators, (70.5%) are men
- 1 in 10 stalkers, who weren’t in any previous relationship, act on the threats they make
- 1 out of 5 women and 1 out of 10 men will be victims of obsessive stalking in their adult life
Typically, all over the world, it is women who are stalked. These are mostly situations where it is the boyfriend or lover who is directly involved. It might not be limited to simply following the woman where she goes. Stalking often includes defining the victim’s property, leaving threatening email, SMS and WhatsApp messages and notes.
Related reading: 10 Bollywood films that glorify stalking
12 Signs You Are Dating A Stalker And Need To Break Up For Good
1. He catches you unawares at home or in office
Soon after your first few meetings or exchanges, he surprises you with an unplanned visit to your office or at home. It can leave you all rattled since in all likelihood he shouldn’t have even known the address so soon. This obsessive chasing could have you harrowed for sure. If you know for a fact that you did not give him your address, isn’t it a tad bit creepy he found out on his own?
2. He remains forever curious about where you venture out
He is never convinced by words. When you tell him where you went, he needs corroboration in the form of evidence. He tries to ask you for pictures taken there or checks with your acquaintances. Or even tries to suggest that he knows where you were better than you do. This behaviour can really get on your nerves. It might be an indication that he is stalking you.
3. He seems to be in a hurry to meet your family
There is a time for everything. But he wants to go a step further and meet your parents, even when you have no reached that stage in your relationship. A boyfriend who is stalking you would arm himself with all the details about you and your family. This unnecessary hurry could really bother you.
4. All hell breaks loose if you don’t respond to his call or messages immediately
He does not understand that you were busy or out of network or simply not checking your phone just then. By the time you send him your reply, your phone is inundated with harsh and unreasonable remarks about your perfectly forgivable delay. He will literally lose it and spam you unnecessarily.
A prominent sign of obsession and stalking is your boyfriend’s unwillingness to take a ‘No’ for an answer. He hates to hear ‘No’ from you and expects and insists that you concur. It’s his way or the highway. He is persistent and can only see things going his way. This can be a real deal-breaker. You need to watch out.
6. He threatens to inflict self-injury
When he begins to realise that you want to end the relationship, he indicates his intention to hurt himself. These could sound like very seriously harmful plans. In extreme cases of obsession in love, stalkers could imply that they plan to end their lives.
Related reading: 15 Steps to Get Rid of a Stalker and Be Safe
7. He is very jealous
Obsessive jealousy stems from insecurity and can ruin a relationship. You need to consider an exit.
8. He finds data on you before you provide it to him
9. You get a lot of blank calls from unknown numbers
The caller seems to hang up immediately after hearing your voice. Worse still, he stays mute on the line and listens to your reaction to plan his next move. An unmistakable sign of a stalker who believes this is just love and he’s making sure that you are alright. Stalkers are often delusional.
10. He spies on you
His love turns into an obsessive addiction and he cannot get you out of his mind. He feels a compulsive need to always know everything about you, even if he has to deploy someone to get these details. You both might be suddenly bumping into each other a bit too often. This is not to be taken as coincidence.
Related reading: How To Deal With A Gaslighting Spouse?
11. He is uncomfortable if you leave his side at a social gathering
He wants to stay with you the whole time in a public gathering with friends or family. If you happen to move around, he keenly watches where you go and who you interact with. He even gets angry with you if you talk to another male friend or acquaintance. This is not love; it can be dangerous levels of obsession.
12. He interrogates your friends all the time
Him wanting to keep tabs on everything you do daily is not normal and definitely not something that people do in love.
Such relationships can be potentially toxic and you need to find a way out of them. Interest in the partner’s life and excessive curiosity bordering on madness should not be confused for love. This obsessive, stalking behaviour could get out of control anytime and blow over causing a lot of complications for both partners and families involved.