There is no clear answer to the age-old questions, ‘Why do girls like bad boys?’ It is true that the nice, sweet boys are often left far behind as they watch the hunky, bad boys clutch their girl in their arms and walk away smugly. Nice guys seem to finish last more often than they should. But why? What is it that makes bad boys so irresistible?
Even when a doe-eyed boy is standing right in front of her, ready to slice open his heart for her, why does a girl find it so easy to turn a blind eye to his love and flutter her eyelashes at someone who would not treat her half as well? If you’re just as perplexed as me, welcome to the club. Read my story below to find out how I came to understand the truth in this prophecy. But why do good girls like bad guys? That is still a question I cannot answer too well.
Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys?
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I was then an Army Officer and hadn’t been married. I had recently been posted to Fairfax county in Virginia after a stint at the borders.
It was a beautiful Sunday morning, I remember so clearly. As I was walking to the dining hall for breakfast, my friend said, “Nick, you got a phone call.” This was much before the mobile era or the era of social media, and I had to walk to the phone that the officers on that base shared.
The caller was Mandy, the daughter of my boss. “Nick, can I come and meet you with a friend? She needs some help. It’s kind of important.” I readily agreed, though it is against the rules to allow women to come to our quarters. But who can say no to damsels in distress!
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She was attracted to a playboy
Without much ado, Mandy came to the point. “You know about Ursula and Victor, right?” Yes, I knew everything all too well.
Victor was a friend of mine who used to love to boast about his ‘exploits’ with many girls. He could easily ‘hook’ girls with his charm and was a champion of casual sex.
The very night I landed in Virginia, Victor had briefed me about the girls in the area. Who is ‘available’ to date and who is absolutely taken. In other words, a guy with no respect for women – not even for the women who trusted him. I also knew that this playboy was engaged to be married to a girl soon in his hometown.
I replied, looking at Ursula, “He had taken you out to the Officers’ Institute for a dance last week. Right?” Mandy replied on behalf of her friend, “He had met her only the previous day, at our house. Initially, Ursula said she can’t come as she does not know him well enough. Later she agreed to Victor’s pleading, and I too encouraged her. At the party, I danced with my friend, and Ursula danced with Victor. Now let Ursula tell you what happened.”
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She thought she hurt his feelings
Ursula said she really loved dancing with Victor and was enjoying the evening immensely. She went on, “Then I hurt his feelings and the poor guy was devastated. I want to tell him I am sorry.” Mandy chipped in, “The problem is he is not talking to her now. We need your help to tell him she is sorry, and that she will not upset him again. I have advised her. Now she will cooperate.”
“But what happened? How did she upset him?” I asked. Here is the story in Ursula’s own words:
“After a couple of dances, he said it was a bit stuffy and maybe we could go for a ride? I agreed and we took off on his motorbike. He drove to the officers’ residing area and said he needed to pick something up from his room. I went along. At his room, before I knew what was happening, he asked me to sit on his bed and locked the door. He put on music and took out a bottle of rum. Then he came and sat next to me. He put his arms round me and started to kiss me out of nowhere. I suddenly got scared and froze. He asked what happened, and I said I couldn’t do it.”
Crazy right? The guy was doing his best to seduce a woman and without any warning. Why women love bad boys makes no sense to me, because all bad boys really do is treat them badly. But Ursula still found a way to empathize with him.
“Poor guy, he was devastated. He said this always happens to him. On an earlier occasion too, a girl had misunderstood him. He repeatedly said he is sorry. He then dropped me back at the Officers’ Institute. After that day, he is totally ignoring me. I made a huge mistake.”
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But she was far from knowing the truth about him
How could I tell these girls what I knew about Victor ? I had no heart to tell them that Victor is already engaged. I knew that would greatly hurt Ursula’s feelings.
I said, “You should not apologize to him. He is the one who made the advance when you were not ready for it.” Neither of them was convinced by my advice. But I could not help them any further.
A few days later, Victor went on his annual leave to back to his hometown. When he came back, he was married to a plain looking country lass, a woman he went to high school with. She was a stark contrast from the modern girls he seduced as a bachelor in the US Army.
What makes some girls so susceptible to getting fooled by wolves like Victor? I feel bad for them. It’s not like good men do not exist in the world. Why women like bad boys, is truly beyond me.
FAQs
The only thing that truly makes a guy a bad boy is if he treats women and their hearts poorly. Does he play around with their feelings, indulge in dishonesty and does not respect them or their feelings? If yes, then that indeed makes him a bad boy.
It really is a million dollar question, why do girls like bad boys? Perhaps it is because bad boys are so used to charming women, that they have aced the game of wooing and trapping women with their witty words and glib conversation. They know just how to impress a woman.
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Bad boys are great for a fling, and it’s only natural to be attracted to them. But if you’re looking for a long-term relationship go for the nice guy.
I agree! A casual fling is okay (and fun!) so long as the end result is not hurt feelings.
I suppose the problem is social conditioning that makes many girls feel guilty even if they merely fantasize a fling, let alone partake in one! These are the girls who get easily fooled by guys who try to “get” what they want by promising marriage.
Girls who feel it is okay to have casual fun would do well to choose the right kind of guy — one who respects her privacy, and one who thinks it is okay for girls also to have occasional flings. Not the king who would later go around saying she is a slut…