Sex and Passion

Is it healthy to have Casual Sex?

Hooking up: Is casual sex or the occasional fling a good thing to indulge in? Bonobology contributors share their views.
Casual Sex on Sofa

Let’s accept it, each one of us must have dared or at least dreamt of having a fling or an occasional session of casual sex. Casual sex can lead to the fulfilment of your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. There are many around us who are completely in love with the idea of casual sex, the so called ‘occasional fling’… and yes… many also belong to that part of the group who would like to refer to ‘it’ as “Wham bam thank you ma’am.” Benjamin Franklin’s quote sums up the views on casual sex perfectly, describing it as “Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to Dulness, Weakness, or the Injury of your own or another’s Peace or Reputation.” But Bineesh Balakrishnan wonders if “It is healthy to have the occasional fling. And how often should one go in for it?”

All of that “depends on how you handle it and whether you can balance it well with the other people involved,” believesSaumyaTewari. Occasional fling is a good thing as it may keep your mind off things. When you are single and free, you tend to feel bored and may want some change for good. Hridaan loves the way the way Bineesh uses the word ‘occasional fling’ and not ‘random flings.’ “There is no problem with an occasional fling here and there as it may help one get on with life. But flings may prove be costly. So do make sure that you have ‘Mr. Safety’ in your pocket,” he advises.

“It’s OK to have a fling. Just be smart enough to not complicate it, don’t hurt and don’t get hurt.”

“And oh yes, let the occasional fling be just occasional not regular,” says Lekha Menon. Aman Singh agrees with what Lekha says that until the time we don’t start attaching our emotions to the sex, it’s just whamming and bamming anyway. “Obviously, flings are good. You become better in bed and let the other person improve too. And, all of this without having anything at stake. So flings are good,” says Aman, adding, “And how to go about it? With some ‘protection’ and lot of will power. And sometimes a little alcohol in your belly.”

“An occasional fling finds an occasion on its own. On a rainy day or on April’s fool’s day! You should be ready to fire the shots whenever the opportunity comes your way, from whichever direction,” smirks Devraj Kalsi, adding, “there is no one in the world who can prescribe how many times or how frequently you should have it. It is all up to you and the ready partner(s).”

Related reading: Kinky sex not with wife?

An occasional fling is healthy “till the time you are clear with the other person too. For the other person too the relationship should mean the same and both need to be on the same platform, opines Raul Sodat Najwa. Siddhartha Mishra feels that the choice is really ours since some go for it and some make relationships a priority.

There can never be a general answer as a yes or a no for the question asked by Bineesh, feels Gaurangi Patel. It would always depend and vary from situation to situation and mentality to mentality. However, “if you are in a steady relationship, it is cheating your partner,” she feels. Better to work out if relations are estranged or get separated and have as many flings, Gaurangi suggests.

There is nothing wrong with having an occasional fling provided one doesn’t get involved with friends.

“Go and do it,” advises Komal Chopra.

All said and done, don’t we all need it to lighten the burden of love? And as Alexandre Dumas has rightly said – The chain of marriage is so heavy that it takes two to bear it; sometimes three.

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