Most of us believe in happily ever afters. Boy meets girl and tries to win her over, fighting with the obstacles on the way until he has won her heart. A much-awaited on-screen kiss follows and that’s it. The End.
But, in real life, doesn’t the story begin after the kiss? And this story doesn’t really have its figurative end three hours later with the drop of a curtain. The story keeps going on. Unfortunately, no one talks about the joy or frustration of sharing mundaneness with a partner. Someone with whom you witness life. Someone you see changing with time and someone who sees you the same way. That’s not the same thing. That takes more than a rush of estrogen and testosterone.
When it comes to successful relationships after a breakup, the little things become more important. Passion, while important, is secondary. What comes first is understanding.
Getting Back Together After A Breakup Builds Successful Relationship
Getting back together after a breakup takes patience, compromises, understanding, and selflessness. That’s a tough deal. However, the odds of forging successful relationships after a breakup or even a divorce can be higher, as at this point both partners know that being together is truly what they want.
Somewhat like Ross and Rachel’s bond in the popular ‘90s sitcom Friends. Misunderstanding, arguments, infidelity rip the couple apart but all was not really over between them even after they have bored everyone with their fighting. They never managed to love another person to the same degree.
Their relationship began long before they started dating, back in high school when Ross looked longingly at Rachel even though she was hardly conscious of his existence. It survived in its dormant way until much later. It survived a series of relationships that were not meant to be. It had metamorphosed into a bond of friendship that would hold stronger than romance.
And where there is a truly strong bond, words like ‘breakup’ don’t really change anything, right? Situations may have changed and it may be impossible to carry on a civil and amicable co-existence but is that enough to put an end to a relationship?
When a couple has lived through so much together, has so much history together, and has a kind of shared life, it’s almost impossible to just let it all go and walk out because the relationship can’t be carried forward. It’s like Rachel says to Ross: “With us, it’s never off the table.” That’s what successful relationships after break up are all about. Relationships after a breakup take work, and both parties need to be willing to put that effort in.
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Can A Relationship Work After a Break Up?
Women in urban cities live independent lives. They don’t get passed on from their father’s abode to their husband’s anymore. They have economic independence and much more social representation. Does the figure of the pure, subservient woman continue to exist as piously in these times? No, it doesn’t, because there’s more to a woman’s life than her man.
In such times, where both genders are more self-aware, sexually and economically independent, and where career calls are more important for both, our age-old notion of relationships and domesticity are naturally challenged. One doesn’t know where life will take one. But just because life is thus, does it mean relationships die? Does increased awareness of one’s wants and needs mean successful relationships after a breakup become impossible?
Is getting back together after a breakup impossible?
Getting back together after a breakup is tough. But I think relationships adapt, just like we do. Films like To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You make more sense to our generation. Even Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky’s wholesome yet fiery love was not enough to avoid a breakup. But could they stay away from each other? Of course not. They showed us what successful relationships after a breakup are all about. That, when you are meant to be, you will always find your way back to each other.
So, do relationships work after a breakup? Even the movies tell us they do. But that doesn’t mean that rebuilding the relationship after a breakup doesn’t take work and effort from both halves of any swoon-worthy couple.
It’s when you know you have someone and no matter what the circumstances, no matter where you are, you return to that one person who belongs with you. Not for some selfish agenda. Not for home. Not for hot food and a comfortable bed. Or children. Here the return happens only because one would rather not go anywhere else but instead choose to have a strong successful relationship after a breakup.
On-again off-again relationships may still be frowned upon because they don’t conform to the traditional Indian notion of heterosexual long-term monogamy, but I feel it’s a deeper idea when it comes to romance. Rekindling a relationship after a breakup takes courage, takes fierce, undeterred love and understanding.
It’s about choosing to be with someone despite knowing their flaws, despite knowing that you can walk away and think about starting a new relationship after a breakup. Choosing to go back to the same and rekindling a relationship after a breakup is a decision one makes with freedom, not because of lack of choice.
Sometimes. Couples who get back together after a breakup often do so knowing the challenges. They return ready to work on the relationship and grow together as a couple. A breakup may let a couple let them realize their love for each other so small, petty arguments and pet peeves stop mattering anymore. So, a breakup can make some people’s relationships stronger.
Yes, it’s very normal to have successful relationships after a breakup. This is especially true when both partners are dominant and aren’t ready to adjust for the sake of staying together. But, after a breakup, they tend to realize their priorities. They realize that making small adjustments is okay as long as they get to stay with who they are meant to be with. So, even after a breakup, couples often decide to get back together.
As long as you are both willing to communicate your feelings and not let petty concerns bother you, a relationship can last forever even after a breakup.