Breakups can be heartbreaking. They can drain one emotionally and bring about painful moments with loads of questions. Being single after being in a relationship can bring on a wallowing spell if not treated right. What not to do after a breakup is a tricky area to navigate. As you miss your ex, feelings of self-doubt surface. Whether you wielded the ax or came under it, a breakup can be difficult for everyone. But there are things not to do after a breakup that you should avoid.
So while you want to scream and bash your ex, you also need to realize that this may be the best thing that happened to you and you need to get past it. Feeling empty after a breakup is normal but don’t end up doing certain things that would delay the healing process.
Though easier said than done, there are things that you should never do after breaking up with someone, and while some may seem obvious to you, they are also the ones that top the charts. Are you wondering what is the best way to act after a breakup? Are there any post-breakup dos and don’ts? Here is a list of 12 things that you should never do after a breakup to help you.
12 Things Not To Do After A Breakup
After breaking up with someone, some things are obviously off the list- like loathing in self-pity and being depressed about it or trying to harm yourself because you feel all is lost. But the fact is after a breakup one feels lost and knows that he or she is alone.
The feeling of losing someone, for whatever reasons, stays heavy on the heart, compelling us to do things we would normally avoid. But what are the worst things to do after a breakup? How do we figure out what not to do after a breakup? And how to improve yourself after a breakup? Here is a quick rundown of post-break-up dos and don’ts.
1. Don’t rush yourself
Feeling empty after a breakup is to be expected, but that is no excuse to make poor decisions. Don’t try to get a new partner within days of breaking up with your ex. It is also unwise to rush into feeling cheerful and act as if nothing has happened. This really is one of the worst things to do after a breakup.
Hasty choices that give you temporary pleasure are things you’ll end up regretting. One-night stands or hookups lead to nowhere ultimately. Yes, it hurts, but exercise wisdom in all that you do.
Breakups are bound to hurt, so give yourself enough time to get over the pain and depression. It’s not brave to deny your emotions just to show everyone how ‘cool’ you are. Instead of getting into a rebound relationship, try out things that you haven’t had the time for before and grow yourself as a person.
Related Reading: How soon can you start dating again after a break up?
2. Don’t badmouth your ex
Spreading malicious gossip about your ex is not the best way to get over a breakup. You can tell your close friends how much he/she has hurt you. You’re definitely allowed to vent it all out. The end of a relationship is bound to generate hostility or anger. But expressing it in a healthy manner is important.
Telling lies to paint him/her in a bad light to unknown or half-known people is a strict no-no. It might make you feel better temporarily. But once your lies are discovered, it will harm your own reputation. This is certainly one of the most important answers to your question, “What not to do after a breakup?”
Rumor mongering should also be avoided at all costs. The temptation to spread lies will be immense, but be strong. Being dignified after a breakup is important for our own sanity as well. No matter the circumstances, never bad-mouth an ex.
3. Don’t spill secrets
You had come to know your ex intimately. You know their deepest secrets. Don’t start spilling those intimate details to all and sundry when the relationship ends. Remember, they shared their innermost details with you out of a sense of trust. Don’t betray that trust. Maintain the confidentiality you both had.
Wonder, what not to do after a breakup for guys? Take note. Yes, men have a tendency to talk about intimate details when they feel jilted. Avoid that at all costs. Spilling secrets compromises our moral integrity. Airing someone’s dirty laundry after the breakup is unethical.
This is the worst thing that a guy can do after a breakup. Just refrain from doing it even if you feel like hurting them. It’s really not worth it. Betraying your ex’s secrets is one of the top things you should not do after breaking up.
4. Drunk texting
You have had a few drinks and your mind keeps going back to the great times you spent with your ex. You are now wondering, does he miss me after the breakup? Does he regret that we parted ways?
Don’t transfer those thoughts to a text. Alcohol affects the normal functioning of the mind. Decisions taken under the influence are mostly decisions you will regret once sober. Drunk texting is the worst thing you can end up doing after a breakup. It will even lead to a loss of self-respect.
Switch off your phone when you are getting drunk. You could also keep a friend around who’ll make sure you don’t do something silly. Just like a designated driver. Drunk calls or texts are simply nightmares and nothing good ever came out of them.
Related Reading: He broke up with me when it came to marriage
5. Revenge should not be on your mind
What not to do after a breakup? This. Your ex messed up your life by breaking up. You want to get back at him/her for the pain they caused you. You can curse them all you want in your mind, but don’t act on those thoughts. Exercise your powers of imagination and punch them in your head. But never ever act on petty ideas.
Instead of stooping to petty revenge, be the bigger person and let go gracefully. Revenge is something that comes to your mind immediately and it’s normal but your maturity governs how you control the feeling. At the same time, remember revenge sex is the worst thing to do after a breakup. Improve yourself after a breakup by taking the high road!
6. Don’t chase your ex
Many people cannot accept that they have been rejected. Rejection generates feelings of emptiness after a breakup, and no one likes that. They keep wondering, how to get him back after a breakup? They try to come up with ways to grab his attention so he will come back.
There is really no way to do so if your ex is firm in their decision. Never chase them after a breakup, because it will lead to loss of self-respect and create a bitter situation. Accept the outcome of your relationship gracefully.
There’s a reason why being clingy is one of the most important things to not do after breaking up. It is detrimental to your own health! Stalking your ex will also make it difficult for you to move on. Get off their social media pages and focus on yourself.
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You See Everyday And Find Peace
7. Don’t play the blame game
Refrain from blaming and keep yourself neutral. Whatever the circumstances that led to the breakup, remember not to go into the never-ending who-did-what-game. It will only make you suffer more and make the breakup a lot more difficult. Instead, understand that you two saw things too differently to be together.
Placing blame and flinging allegations is one of the worst things you can do after a breakup. The blame game would just make the situation worse so avoid it at all costs. Post-breakup dos and don’ts are hard to stick to, but trust us that they’re for your own good.
8. Don’t dramatise the break-up
So telling everyone that you are alone and will die like that is not going to get you any favorable results. Dramatizing the whole situation by telling everyone that your life is over and there is nothing to look forward to in the future will only make the breakup hurt more.
Yes, you are disappointed and probably alone at the moment, but you are not going to die with 10 cats in a huge house – so find something to do with your life. Dramatizing your breakup will not take you anywhere. And people will just think badly of you. Don’t be melodramatic. It will get better.
9. Don’t self-loathe
We can’t discuss the subject of what not to do after a breakup without addressing self-loathing. Improve yourself after a breakup by working on your emotional health. Don’t set on a journey of self-loathing and conclude that you were just not good enough. Negative feelings that you foster for yourself will only make it more difficult for you to find a better, fulfilling relationship in your future.
Let go of what happened, don’t live in the past and do not second-guess your decision. This will only make you more depressed and you will not be able to move on after a breakup. Feeling sad for yourself is one of the worst things to do after a breakup. This will only delay the healing process.
10. Don’t isolate yourself
While a little alone time after a breakup helps one reflect and introspect, isolation can be a sign of depression. That does not mean you hit the sack with the next guy who buys you a drink but it will help to be around people who make you feel loved and can offer you support.
Don’t go around distracting yourself after a breakup. Process your emotions in a healthy way, with the support of your loved ones. Friends and family are our immediate support systems, and spending time with them will help you heal. Hang out with your girl gang and have the time of your life.
Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself After Breakup
11. Don’t repeat your mistakes
As you reflect on the relationship and identify your mistakes, make sure that you take steps not to repeat them again. Let your split be a lesson for you, and when you are ready to date again, avoid repeating the same mistakes over again. Falling into the same-old behavior patterns are things you should not do after a breakup. Instead of making the worst mistakes after a breakup, try to learn from them and move on.
12. Don’t reconnect with other exes
It is natural to look for comfort and assurances, but re-connecting with your exes can be pretty selfish. Old flames can ignite any time and if your ex has moved on or you do not want to take it forward, it is not right to turn to them for momentary comfort. Distracting yourself after a breakup is rarely a good idea. You may end up complicating your life, and regret this step later. Even if they reach out to you, remember that it’s best to turn the ex down.
Breakups can be hurtful and difficult but sometimes they are also the best things that happen. Feeling empty after a breakup may delay the process of healing. Always keep in mind what not to do after a breakup for a peaceful life. You can always refer to our post-breakup dos and don’ts because they’ll serve as good guidance.
Stay focused on the present, look forward to a future and channelize your energies into living a healthy, happy life. Improve yourself after a breakup and become a phenomenally happy person! And what can be better revenge than living well?