Dating An Independent Woman – 15 Things You Should Know

Dating experience | | , Expert Blogger
Updated On: December 3, 2022
Dating An Independent Woman

Why is dating an independent woman viewed as a challenging task? It’s neither daunting nor stressful. It just requires a little extra thoughtfulness from a strong man who won’t get jealous or intimidated by her success. A self-supported woman depends on nobody but herself and has the desire to control her own life.

Just like her career, she also wishes to have a successful relationship where there won’t be any questions about playing games with each other. Do men like dating financially independent women? According to a survey conducted by The Wall Street Journal on how 21st-century men value independence in wives and daughters, it is seen that while 45% of men consider being attractive as one of the most important qualities for their wife or female partner, just 11% said so for their daughter.

Similarly, men cited being independent (66% for daughter; 34% for wife/female partner) and strong (48% for daughter, 28% for wife/female partner) as the most important qualities for a daughter. Is it safe to call out these men for their hypocrisy? It is ironic how men who want their daughters to be financially independent are the same who don’t want their female partners to be independent. Anyway, this is a debate for another time. For now, let’s look at the things you should know if you are dating a smart woman with an independent soul.

Myths About Dating An Independent Woman

Before we go any further, there are a few myths surrounding dating independent women that need to be busted. Listed below are some of society’s pre-existing notions regarding a strong woman with a career who takes her own decisions and doesn’t let anyone dictate her life: 

  • Myth: Independent women are selfish and self-centered
  • Fact: They know who they are and want nothing but the best for themselves 
  • Myth: Their standards are sky-high and they look for perfection in everything 
  • Fact: They don’t have unrealistic expectations from their partners. They are just driven women who believe their partner can do better 
  • Myth: She is a controlling woman and wants to be “the man” in the relationship
  • Fact: Just because they earn their own money, it doesn’t make them the man in the relationship 
  • Myth: They don’t care about their relationship and their career is their main focus
  • Fact: Just because they want a successful career, it doesn’t mean they want their romantic relationship to fail
  • Myth: They are cold and icy women who don’t like emotional intimacy 
  • Fact: Independent women are equally caring, loving, and intimate with their partners 

Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting And 5 Ways To Deal With It

Dating An Independent Woman – 15 Things You Should Know

Dating independent women is not like dating any other. They have a mind of their own and can easily furnish themselves with happiness and security. To have a strong and healthy relationship with them, here are 15 things you should know when dating independent women:

1. She will share responsibilities

From household chores to grocery shopping and budget planning, they will share responsibilities with you. If you are the kind of man who doesn’t hesitate from asking for their partner’s help, then dating a self-supported woman will be the best thing to ever happen to you. You won’t have to do anything alone and feel like the burden is all on your shoulders. 

A financially independent woman will never back down from giving her share to the relationship in every possible aspect including:

  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Physical
  • Financial

She will split the bills and share the housework. These are the biggest benefits of dating an empowered woman. 

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2. You can be yourself with her

If you are having relationship problems when dating an independent woman, then there are chances you aren’t opening up to her properly. When a successful woman falls in love with you, she does the same thing as every other woman. She will love you and adore you in the same ways. You can be yourself around her without having to pretend or show off fake masculinity.

She is dating you because she likes you and wants to know everything about you. Rest assured, you can be vulnerable with her and not let any insecurities hinder your relationship. People assume independent women use gaslighting phrases or emotionally manipulate their partners. That generalization is unfair and untrue.

3. Space is key while dating an independent woman

Just like any other person, even a smart woman likes to have her own space where she can do the things she likes. While she likes to receive attention from her significant other and spend quality time with them, she also enjoys being alone and do things from her own perspective. 

If she is independent, she probably likes to reflect upon things on her own and does not need to be smothered all the time. Dating a self-dependent woman is about knowing when and how to let her be.

4. There is a reason that her walls are up

If she is coming across as self-centered and has walls around her, then that’s for a reason. Quit playing games with her because she may already know your tactics very well. To avoid relationship problems when dating an independent woman, it’s wise to ask why she has her guard up all the time. It could be because of various reasons like:

  • Maybe people took advantage of her way too many times and she can’t risk that happening again
  • She has built herself from scratch and doesn’t want anyone to come in the way of it 
  • She has been hurt in the past and is afraid of being vulnerable again 

5. It will take time to win her over

Because of her past experiences, traumas, and her self-reliant nature, it can be difficult to win her over. Neither will she settle for anyone nor will she leave her career for her partner. However, she does crave love and wants to be loved by someone wholeheartedly. Here are some of the ways you can make her fall in love with you:

  • Make her feel special by getting her flowers (Yes, even they like to receive flowers once in a while)
  • Be supportive of her dreams and ambitions
  • Let her take her own decisions 
  • You don’t have to bend over backward to impress her
  • Don’t make assumptions about her and her life

Related Reading: 15 Ways A Woman Wants To Be Treated

6. She will be direct with you

An empowered woman has her own life to look after. This will leave her very less time to play games or beat around the bush. She won’t sugarcoat things to protect your feelings and she won’t mess around with you either. When she falls in love with you, she is sure about it and will take it very seriously if she wants to approach the relationship. She will always be honest and direct with you.

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7. She is not high maintenance

A self-supported woman knows how to take care of herself and maintain herself. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to feel special once in a while. She will always appreciate good morning texts, surprise gifts, and dinner dates just like any other girl. At the same time, she will be just fine if you get caught up at work one night and miss a dinner date. She understands your work is also your priority. 

8. She is insightful and wise

A self-made woman is someone who has learned to live on her own terms. That point usually arrives after significant experience and introspection. Having learned so much, she will always have a piece of advice for you. This will help you build a healthy relationship with each other.

This doesn’t mean they don’t make mistakes. To err is human after all. It’s just that she will also have wisdom that you can reap benefits from. She has learned a lot from the past that has made her a wiser person today. With her anecdotes and her observations, she will always enthrall you with a perspective that you may not have had. She is happy on her own but she is a woman of the world and she will let you know it.

9. She can clean up her own mess

Even if things are going extremely awry in her life, she does not feel the need to share everything with you. It is not because she doesn’t love you. Independent women often can and prefer to clean up their own messes if they can. Dating an independent woman is like dating someone who:

  • Knows how to fix her own problems
  • Knows how to make the best out of the worst situations
  • Can handle minor inconveniences on her own
  • Will be happy to share her opinion if you are stuck with a problem

Related Reading: Dating Etiquette – 20 Things You Should Never Ignore On A First Date

10. Ask her before making plans that include her

If you want to take a short vacation or go on a holiday, it’s good to ask about her availability before planning it all yourself. She could be busy with work. The two of you can sit down and discuss each other’s free time and figure the logistics of the trip. Such activities will also strengthen the relationship. 

11. She won’t be afraid of walking away

When things get toxic, she won’t be afraid to walk away from the relationship. The worst thing you can do to a self-sustained woman is to try to control and break her. It’s not that easy. If you are losing interest in her, she won’t chase you either. If you’re treating her wrong, she won’t sit and let you do it. She may give you a few chances before she leaves but saying goodbye will not be impossible for her. This does not mean that they give up. This just means that they cannot settle. There are things she will never compromise on in a relationship.

12. She needs a strong partner

Being not so needy herself, an independent woman might not be able to put up with a very needy partner. What an independent woman really needs from a partner is someone who can take care of themselves. While she will always be willing to offer support and care for you, independent people like to see people who can help themselves. They do not have the energy for drama queens. Be assured that she won’t be creating any dramas or asking for sympathy, and she will expect the same from you.

Related Reading: 13 Ways To Respect A Woman In A Relationship

13. She is emotionally supportive

Dating a resilient woman is dating a person who loves themselves but loves the people around them even more. Contrary to what is normally assumed of them, independent women are not selfish or rude. They are the complete opposite. Being so strong and self-reliant on their own, independent women muster up the energy to do the same for other people. When such a woman falls in love, she will offer help and support as much as she can.

14. She may be set in her own ways

When a woman has worked hard to be the person she is, she may not be as quickly adjusting as other people. Having built herself and her life in the way she likes, she may not want anyone to disrupt that. From her wall hangings to how she takes her tea, a fearless woman may not always take your advice. But that is nothing personal and has nothing to do with her love for you. She could just have a stubborn side. Here are some conflict resolution strategies you can try to deal with the same.

Also, a determined woman is most often wise about her hard-earned money and would have her savings and investments sorted. Don’t keep asking her about that, it might put her off.

15. She wants you

Putting you on an ego trip here, but this is very true. One of the signs of an independent woman is that she normally does not need anyone. Often, she has a line of dates waiting for her to take a chance on them. If she is with you, she cares about you deeply. A strong, independent woman does not need you every day in her life but rather carves out that space and fits you in because she wants to make that choice. She is not dependent, she is just in love.

Related Reading: The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Cop – Explained

Dating An Independent Woman – Dos and Don’ts

Dating a driven woman is something that most people seek these days because it brings a fresh perspective to their own lives. To love a strong, independent woman does not diminish one’s own importance or make you any smaller. It can change your life for the better. Here are some dos and don’ts that you need to know before dating a self-assured woman:


  • Give her space: She does not need you hovering over her at a party or calling her every day during her lunch break. She won’t like being clingy in the relationship. A confident woman likes her personal time and she needs to be with someone who can respect that
  • Be clear about your expectations with her: Fearless women do not like to beat around the bush so it is best to just lay it all on the table. Discuss all your concerns and expectation with her openly. She will always value and respect anything that you have to say
  • Tell her you love her: Even though she is self-reliant, she is with you because she wants to love and be loved. Continue pampering her and making her feel special regardless of how confident and bold she is without you


  • Make decisions for her: A self-reliant woman may value your opinion and advice but do not try to impose it on her. She will respect you but not always agree with you
  • Try to make her jealous : A loving and confident woman will never fall for that type of thing. In fact, she will only be repulsed or offended by it. She won’t be the jealous girlfriend type. Talk to her openly instead
  • Take advantage of her open attitude: A brave woman will give you a lot of independence too. But that does not make it an excuse to do anything you want and slowly drift apart. It is still a relationship with the two of you in it

Key Pointers

  • Don’t make assumptions about a self-dependent woman. Start asking deep relationship questions, questions about her life and her work. She will very much appreciate your time and attention
  • Be supportive of her dreams and career. She will be equally supportive of your goals and ambitions as well
  • She will love you for who you are and you won’t have to pretend to be someone else when you are with her

When you’re with such a self-dependent woman, the responsibility of maintaining the relationship emotionally and financially rests on both your shoulders. Don’t expect that she will be the only one to take up all the heavy load of the relationship. She wants a relationship that is built on love, affection, honesty, and equality.


1. What is an independent woman like?

An independent woman is secure in her life. However, this may not be true emotionally. She likes to pay her own bills and run her life according to her will. The worst thing you can do to an independent woman is to try and control her. She is not the kind to be tamed. 

2. Are independent women hard to date?

It’s not difficult and it’s definitely not the hardest thing ever. If you are a strong, independent person who isn’t intimidated by her money and success, then it won’t be hard for you to date a strong woman. 

3. What does an independent woman want in a relationship?

Besides the important things like love, kindness, and honesty, an independent woman appreciates alone time, space, empathy, and support. She wants a partner who will be kind to her and understand her. She will expect you to do your share of the work and won’t coddle you. 

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