“This is going well, right? S/he’s laughing at my jokes and that thing I said about being a fun-gi didn’t make him/her leave. Am I in the clear?” You might be thinking in the bathroom, while on your first date with someone.
Sure, what a person is saying is a great indicator of how they feel (unless they’re politicians), but if you want to make sure you know how your date is going, the first date body language signs are all you’ll need.
In this article, dating coach Geetarsh Kaur, founder of The Skill School which specializes in building stronger relationships, talks about how you can catch the signs that a first date went well by just noticing their body language.
How To Assess Your Date’s First Date Body Language
Before we get into it, keep in mind that body language signs of attraction are not set in stone and are probably not as black and white as you think. A person’s body language is affected by a lot of factors, and just because they seem tense may not necessarily mean they’re not into you.
Perhaps they’re way too habitual of fidgeting, or maybe they’re one of those introverts who hate making eye contact (don’t we all relate to some extent?). While your date’s body language can be a great indicator of how things went, the best indicator is usually the overall feel of it.
With that being said, it’d also be criminal to discredit the whole thing altogether. Let’s take a look at the general aspects of a person’s body language that can tell you whether there’s going to be a second date or if you’re going to meet Casper the ghost pretty soon.
1. Open gestures are a positive sign
Open gestures are the first things anyone should notice while looking for body language cues for attraction. Open arms, open hands, open palms, basically, not fidgeting with anything and not moving their legs.
As long as the person you’re sitting across from seems relaxed and controlled, it’s usually a great sign for your date. One of the most obvious signs a person likes you is when they’re subconsciously pointing their feet toward you. If their feet are pointed toward an exit, however, let’s just say you need to step it up a bit.
Related Reading: Know How Much He Loves You Through His Body Language
2. Eye contact is your way in
Eye contact during your date is good. In other news: water is wet. Granted, we all pretty much know this, but try not to stare at your date throughout the entire evening. You might just come off as someone they need to block immediately.
Even so, eye contact isn’t really as black and white as you may have thought it is. If there’s no eye contact, it could be for multiple reasons. It could either be because the person is hesitant, or if they like you but are shy, and the third possibility may be the one that’s most difficult to swallow: they’re just not interested.
As mentioned before, there are multiple layers to what goes on behind a person’s body language. Even if there is eye contact on your date, you can go deeper and analyze the kind of eye contact you witnessed. Was it a strong gaze? Or were you just exchanging glances? A flirtatious gaze & flirting with the eyes can be a lot easier to spot.
3. The awkward silences don’t necessarily spell doom
Along with the nonverbal cues that a person gives off, assessing how they’re talking is also pretty important. The spectrum of assessing a person’s body language doesn’t solely rely on a single aspect of it; you must look at it as a collective whole.
If, along with the awkward silences, you experience plenty of eye contact and a relaxed body language, the silence most probably doesn’t mean as much as you think it does. Maybe your date is thinking about how to bring up a new topic of conversation or is just a bit awkward at first.
4. Leaning in is perhaps the best body language cue of attraction
When you’re interested in something, it’s a natural human response to want to lean forward toward it. Just like how you subconsciously end up pointing your feet toward your date or someone you like, you also lean towards them as an unintentional way of showing interest.
It’s one of those interesting subconscious responses our body makes, which goes to show that when a person likes something, they most definitely show it through their body language. It’s a way of saying “Tell me more” or “Yes, I’m listening to you.”
If your date reduces the distance between you two and tries to lean forward, it’s probably the best sign out there. You won’t need to worry about how to read a guy’s body language when he’s leaning into you.
Related Reading: Body Language And Its Role In Healthy Relationship
5. The face tells you all you need to know
A person’s face holds enough information during a first date to tell you whatever you need to know. No, that fake smile doesn’t mean they think you’re boring. It could most probably mean they’re just being courteous.
A playful smirk, raising of the eyebrows, a moment of eye contact, a smile, or a frown; they’re all signs and effectively put across what a person is thinking. Be mindful of the cues a person shows as well as how you behave since your behavior is what they’re reacting to in the first place.
When a person doesn’t like you, it’ll be pretty clear. Think the opposite of all we talked about today. Rigid body, tight posture, no eye contact, pursing of the lips, fidgeting, phubbing, the whole shebang.
Assessing a person’s first date body language is all about the overall feel of it. The golden rule is: if it feels good, it probably was. Did you experience crossed arms but the conversation flowed naturally? Don’t overthink it, it was probably a good date.