Have you ever wondered how could one fall in and out of love so easily? The real question is: Were you ever in love in he first place? The debate between love vs infatuation has been happening from time immemorial. Infatuation and love may feel the same from within, but the heart wants what it loves and that is when you realise whether it was infatuation or love. It can surely be confusing, and you may be left wondering because you are not sure about the signs of infatuation. But what are the signs of love? Let us first know what is meant by infatuation.
What is infatuation?
Wikipedia has Infatuation defined as the ‘state of being carried away by an unreasonable passion, usually towards another person for whom one has developed strong romantic or platonic feelings’. Your feelings are platonic, but they seem so real that you easily mistake them to be signs of love.
Infatuation is intense, but short lived, and generally tends to be obsessive, and infatuation symptoms die with time. Everything about the person you are smitten with seems perfect, it fills your world with smiles that don’t go away and you are always day-dreaming.
That, just right there, is the sign of being infatuated. Infatuation and love may look and feel like the same thing, but they are very different from each other. It will help you to evaluate your feelings if you would know the signs of infatuation. But how long does infatuation last?
12 clear signs of infatuation are not signs of love
It is not uncommon to get love and infatuation confused – the distinction is not really that marked. Plus, a lot of stable relationships do start with infatuation, so differentiating the signs of infatuation is not that simple. Signs of infatuation mess with your mind and you start believing that this is love- only to be disappointed later on when it wears away. Lust and attraction do not stay, so to say. So these are not signs of love.
Your feelings cloud your judgement so much that at times you cannot look past them clearly. You feel that you are on the right track, until you realise that the lovey-dovey feelings have suddenly vanished. Is it so easy to fall out of love? The answer is no.
But is it easy to fall out of infatuation? How long does infatuation last? Well, infatuation is short-lived and when you find out that your feelings are gone, it is the feeling of infatuation that has suddenly vanished because of reality knocking at your brain’s door. Have you faced a similar situation? Infatuation and love are often confused with each other, and teens and adults make this mistake alike.
Here are 12 clear signs you are infatuated. And there are no signs of love!
1. You put him/her on a pedestal
You are so into this person that he/she seems to have all the good qualities in him/her. You think yourself to be very lucky to be with this person and let him/her overshadow their qualities over yours. Whatever be the situation, you will have to mention him/her even if he/she has no relation to the situation. Love is when you go past this phase and come back to reality where you see the real person.
2. You don’t feel like knowing the person
Your infatuated self is more focused on spending time with your so-called ‘lover’ and you spend that time admiring him/her. You keep working your imaginations and live in your own little fairy tale. You feel like you know that person because you have played your version of him/her in your head. He/she might be completely opposite to the idea of him/her that you have built. You don’t feel like knowing the actual person behind all those ideas and impressions that you have made of him/her.
3. You become desperate
Desperation is one of the infatuation symptoms. When you feel infatuated, everything is heightened and you want things to accelerate. You want to be with that person on and on without any reason. You feel desperate to take things forward, even though you know that it’s going too fast.
Your desperation for your partner arises from the insecurity that it is going to get over soon and you feel like seizing it all before all these feelings go away.
4. You always flirt
Almost every conversation of yours has to include you both flirting with each other and complimenting each other. It is as if there is nothing else to talk about. You don’t feel that kind of affection towards your partner and hence all you have is flirting. You both don’t want to get out of this phase into the real world and talk like normal people.
5. It’s going too fast
It seems as if you are in a rush and can’t wait to take your relationship to the next level. You do not think about taking some time out and spending quality time together. All you feel is this rush within you and you want to rush with things. You don’t even stop to think about what you actually want in your partner. All you want is to go on without thinking about the real facts.
6. You are not yourself
When you are attracted to someone, you want to impress that person even if it means not being yourself. You don’t act like your normal self in front of that person and you try to fit in by portraying yourself as someone that your partner would like.
The moment you feel like revealing your true self, both physically and mentally, you know that you are in love.
7. Lust overpowers other emotions
Do you feel love or lust? What is the first feeling that you get when you see your partner?
Do you feel like staring him/her all day or feel like looking for a corner to make out? Infatuation makes you more sexually attracted to a person than wanting to spend quality time.
The primary feelings that you get on seeing your partner will tell you all.
8. You want everything to be perfect
When it comes to infatuation vs. love, what you want from the relationship counts. You want the perfect relationship with your other perfect half. You want your relationship to go on a plain smooth road with no bumps in between. You don’t want to spoil your perfect fantasy that infatuation has brought in.
It is because you are in this relationship not for yourself but for show and are in it just because of the attractive perks it has to offer.
9. You seem to lose interest
It has not been long since your relationship and you are already getting bored. The things you thought that you liked about the person are no more appealing to you. Reality is coming to crash down all those fantasies you had. Your partner is getting comfortable with you and portraying his/her true self and you do not like it.
10. You feel alone
There will be times when you will feel low and will want someone by your side. You look around and see your partner but don’t feel as if your partner is the right person to give you a shoulder. You feel alone even though you are with someone. It is because the love and deep understanding hasn’t been developed. You can’t rely on your partner for tough times, because you haven’t shared that kind of a relation with him/her.
11. You do whatever they tell you to
It will seem as if all your senses have stopped working but these are not signs of love. You will not want to disappoint your partner and will do whatever he/she tells you to. It is as if your brain is working on just one psychology – impressing your partner. You don’t care whether what you are doing is right or wrong, you will do it anyway.
12. You are delusional
You think that you are in love, but in reality, it could be mere attraction. These are nothing but signs of infatuation. You don’t think straight and follow only those things which your heightened feelings are telling you to do. Infatuation just keeps throwing you deeper into your delusions, making you think of this perfect life and perfect person. And you always thought these are signs of love?
How long does infatuation last?
In a world where it takes one minute to break up with one person and move on to the next, relationships solely based on infatuation are common. The true thing is that these relationships are short-lived because they are based on feelings that are not real. Infatuation may last for a time as short as 15 minutes and can continue to something like a year. It all depends on how long you consider infatuation to be love. If you are in such a relationship, ask yourself what you want your relationship to be based on: love or infatuation? If it is infatuation, go with the flow and if you are waiting for love, think it through practically and realistically so that it is your forever.