A Cup Of Tea Suggests What’s Brewing In My Wife’s Head

My wife and her mood teas have done a fantastic job at teaching me what kind of headspace she’s in. As a tea person, I can barely start my day without indulging in my morning cuppa. I do also drink a couple of other cups throughout the day to keep myself going. My lovely wife has mastered the kind of tea I like to drink and brings it to me throughout the day. But sometimes, she makes silly errors and the tea just isn’t the name. No, it’s not a new bag of tea leaves or milk that has gone old. It’s my wife’s mood.

A Cup of Tea Says a Lot About My Wife’s Mood

I met my better half when my life wasn’t half better or I even had half the realization of what I was supposed to achieve in life. She took the biggest risk of her life choosing me, as I had no fixed income, was freelancing and wasn’t even remotely ‘settled’, as her parents would have liked. The only thing fixed about my life was an extended morning tea and newspaper session with friends, then tea again to kick-start the thinking session about work, one more cup to initiate work, and more such sessions throughout the day until midnight or even until early morning.

Having pursued my fine arts degree at MSU, the tea culture was deeply embedded in me. Being nothing short of a compulsive tea addict, when I learned that my wife-to-be had never tasted tea in her life and had no clue whatsoever of how to make it, I was left aghast and terrified. The tea person in me was slightly offended even!

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In Gujarat, tea is pronounced as ‘cha’, which if pronounced with an added h becomes ‘chah’ meaning desire, love, etc. How perfect! And the Hindi phrase jahan chah hai wahan raah hai which means ‘when there is a will (read TEA instead) there is a way’ truly got justified after our arranged marriage, as she learned the tricks of making the perfect tea for me. The real story begins just after the love of my life mastered her art of tea making and how they turned into her mood teas.

I was so happy to have the perfect cup of tea every day, including the variants that I demanded depending upon my mood and the season: tulsi tea, masala tea, ginger tea, kadakwali chai, light tea, ragda chai (thicker, with more milk), etc. I loved her but I loved her tea much more!

I realized this marriage couldn’t possibly be an unhappy marriage. As long as she makes the perfect tea, we will get along. Where there’s tea there’s hope!

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What your tea says about you

When it wasn’t perfect or the tea was completely screwed up, I never used to bother because it would happen so rarely. She was usually an expert at getting down the perfect cup with tea that makes you happy. But sometimes she would make errors and I did not want to annoy her so I would just let it go and drink it anyway. Her mood teas were no reason to indulge in relationship arguments.

But then I started noticing a pattern of how and when it used to happen, slowly realizing it was not a mere accident. She seemed to have some kind of a tea personality along with the cup she used to make me! It reflected her mood, and it was I who was being targeted.

It scared the hell out of me at first. I’d ask her instantly every time it went wrong, “What have I done wrong, meri jaan, this time? Did I forget something, did I stare at some beautiful lady, which I wasn’t supposed to do?” Was it that I forgot to compliment her on her new earrings? Or, worst of all, did she read some message on my WhatsApp?

The list is endless, but thank God, at least I have a system to check what’s brewing in my wife’s head just by tasting the tea. Most husbands don’t have the same luxury of understanding how and when she’s turning into a crazy wife. So if you want a tea that makes you happy, make sure you’ve first got a happy wife! Or else she and her bad mood teas are coming for you.

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