Open relationships and love

Polyamory is becoming more common these days. But I wonder if love is possible in an open relationship. While love is a lot more than physical intimacy, I also feel monogamy makes it love as we know it. Am I wrong?

14 replies
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Actually you are very right. Monogamy gives us a structure through which we can define and understand love. But is it possible to love two people at the same time. Yes. But is it possible to love 2 people romantically at the same time? I think no…What do you say?*p*

christina June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I am a great fan of Karan johar and Bollywood. Hum ek baari pyar karte hai. Shaadi shayd do bari karte hai. Monogamy is the only answer to karwachauth balam pichkari jo tune mari festivals. If u want to have a life without tensions monogamy and celebrate all festivals with Elan and if u  don't want to sleep do drunken dialling and have a constant pain in ur gut then of course multiple partners. *p*

Anand Kamal Goel June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

You are wrong and it is not your fault. It is all due to age old religious and social conditionings. Religions relish and get nourished on our guilt, on our so-called sins. It is the strategy of the organised religions to keep us enslaved.*p**p*If we go a layer deeper into our bias we will realise that jealousy is created by religion's continuous emphasis on monogamy, and monogamy means — not in the dictionaries, but in life — monotony.*p**p*Nobody wants to live in a monotonous life. Marriage is a great strategy. Married couples are the most miserable people in the world and religions insist, "No divorce, divorce is a sin!" In this way prostitutes are created. This is the by-product of religion. Yes! Prostitution is a by-product of organised religions.*p**p*Once we stop the old baloney that has been poured into our minds continuously — of monogamy, of one-to-one relationship, of fidelity — which is all nonsense… When there are so many beautiful people in the world, why shouldn't they be intermixing?*p**p*If a man loves a woman, it is because he likes women and if a woman loves a man, it is because she likes men. This attraction for the opposite sex is healthy and need to be respected. Otherwise why will a man and woman love each other in the first place?*p**p*Human Being is a polygamous animal. You cannot change nature, it is an inbuilt process.*p**p*Now let’s talk about today, the 21st Century. For thousands of years, women were brought up in such a way that they have completely forgotten that they can have orgasm.*p**p*Just within last fifty odd years women have again started learning what orgasm is. And with their learning, problems have arisen all over the world. Marriage is on the rocks. Marriage cannot exist with women having the capacity of multiple orgasms. And man only has capacity for one orgasm. There can be no compatibility between the two. Then monogamy cannot exist. It will become difficult.*p**p*This society and the pattern that it has evolved up to now is doomed.*p**p*Human Beings have released some energy that has always been kept under a certain rigid control. But the attraction has always been there — whether you repress, whether you control, discipline, that doesn't make any difference.*p**p*The attraction is there — twenty-four hours, deep down like a substratum, sexuality goes on like a river flowing. It is a continuum. You may eat, you may earn money, you may work, but you are doing everything for sex.*p**p*Somewhere, sex remains the goal… and this pattern has to be changed, otherwise our energy will go on being drained, our energy will go on being dissipated, our energy will go on moving into the earth. It will not rise towards heaven. It will not have an upward surge.*p**p*Love is possible only when our energies move upward.*p**p*By condemning polygamy we are actually killing the possibility of love. A man and woman will eventually settle down, be in deepest love relation possible but before that the essential criteria needs to be fulfilled. That is to let your energies move higher. And by disrespecting nature, by disrespecting our natural attraction to each other we are murdering true love. Think about it!*p**p*You play tennis; that does not mean your whole life you have to play tennis with the same partner, fidelity…!*p**p*Life should be richer.*p**p*Anand Kamal*p*

I am Krishna June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

"Somewhere, sex remains the goal… and this pattern has to be changed, otherwise our energy will go on being drained, our energy will go on being dissipated, our energy will go on moving into the earth. It will not rise towards heaven. It will not have an upward surge." *p**p* *p**p*Wow!!! Wow!!! Wow!!!*p*

I am Krishna June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I have been reading your answers ma'am and they seem very solid. Thanks…*p*

DEVRAJ KALSI June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

After reading the comments below, I feel I have nothing to add in terms of advocating frankness and liberal disposition. Almost everything has been said with emphasis. But monogamy and fidelity are here to stay so long as couples invest faith in marriage and expect premium loyalty. *p*

Abhishek Chaturvedi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Love is a transient concept. It changes with time/age. Also differs how men and women view it. Multiple relationships seem to be working for men since ages, given the patriarchal bent within religious laws in recent past. *p**p*Given that we as a society in India are emerging from predominant a middlclass mindset of walking the middle path, and not falling for any form of excess. *p**p*And this residual middle class values keeps us doubting anything that exceeds society's  set limits. In the internet age it's upto the individual to set the rules of relationship, not so much the society or the residual values. *p*

Rupali Tiwari June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

no, you are not wrong but at the same time, we need to consider that times have changed. today people are more aware of themselves and their needs and they have a fairly good idea that they are allowed multiple partners without any problem. the thing is it is possible for a person to be in love with only one but is still having multiple partners. that doesn't decrease his/her love for them. I think it solely depends on person to person. while majority will agre with you that monogamy makes it love as we know, i think that yes love is pssible in an open relationship.*p*

Rupali Tiwari June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

thank you for the compliment. *p*

Rupali Tiwari June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Exactly my point. You can not bind love to a single condition or notion*p*

Ankur June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

May be it's wrong to encapsulate love into any fixed decision. So then it is possible in an open relationship. *p*

Ankur June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

True. To each their own*p*

Waseem Imam Saheb June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Love can happen in any form of relationships be it polyamorous or monogamous, it merely depends on the maturity of the people involved. Respect is the main indicator of love in a relationship as it is the foundation for positive interactions. So as long one respects each other and everyone involved with honesty any relationship can flourish*p*

Rishav Ray June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I do not think anyone can convince me about polyamory. I appreciate the openness about everything but in these cases love as we know it takes a back seat. Look, even if we say that we are only attracted to one person at a given point in time we would be lying because subconsciously we are attracted to many and polyamory is just an extension of it. The human subconscious is a dark placeand is full of vices. That is why we dream of things which are extremely anti-social. *p**p*So, as I said, polyamory is just an extension of our inherent desires which knows no limit and it is actually related to sex rather than anything else. Loving one person is a conditioning of the mind that we do to evade these normative diversions. And I, as a person, would really prefer this simplistic approach.*p*

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