This is actually the toughest part. And this usually happens if you were in a relationship with someone at the workplace, at college or someone who is a neighbour. You have to ask yourself how to get over someone you see everyday?
Dealing with a heartbreak is as such not easy. You have to deal with feelings of rejection, the inability to make the relationship work and also you keep grappling with memories constantly. In the midst of that putting in the extra effort to forget the crush you see everyday is a hard job.
Willy and Molly were working in the same office and they fell for each other. They got into a live-in relationship too. But from there things started going downhill and finally after a year the two moved out and broke up.
Molly said: “We ensured that we didn’t have to live under the same roof anymore but seeing each other at the workplace everyday became a menace. We tried to maintain civility but it was awkward because everyone knew we weren’t together anymore. It was the hardest at lunchtime, something we always did together.
“I would leave the office most days at lunch to deal with the situation. I tried very hard to get another job but the market was so bad that I didn’t get any good offers. So there I was seeing Willy everyday and realizing how hard it is to get over an ex you still have to see.”
Related Reading: 5 Steps To Ensure Closure After A Breakup
Psychologist Meghna Prabhu says, “Ideally when you break up the first thing as a therapist I recommend is completely removing the person from your life. That way it’s easier to move on and get used to a life without them. However, that’s not always possible, because maybe you work together or go to the same school or college. In such cases, it is definitely more difficult to move on from the heartbreak.”
She added, “When you constantly see your ex it’s like they are still part of your life. You will keep watching them to see if they are sad or happy, have they moved on? It’s difficult because maybe you did things together, like taking breaks together or having lunch together etc. that you are no longer doing. The constant exposure to them keeps them in your mind which doesn’t free up space for healing or even meeting someone new.”
How To Get Over Someone You See Everyday?
Willy said, “I see my ex everyday and it hurts. The decision to move on was a joint one but I never thought it would be this difficult. Can you get over someone if you still talk to them? I have realised it is the hardest part. I see Molly everyday, I talk to her, we work together and now I am gradually even forgetting the reasons that drove us apart. I only feel the pain now. I don’t know how to get over someone you see everyday.”
How do you get over an ex you still have to see? It is possible to do that if you go through the following steps.
1. Look for options so that you don’t have to see your ex everyday
If you and your ex work in the same office maybe you can try to shift to another department where you don’t have to work in close proximity and wouldn’t be meeting as often. You can also ask for work-from-home options or take transfer to another city.
If you are in the same college or go to the same church or are part of the same activity group then you can try to take a new course, go to a different church or join a different activity group.
Many people leave the job or leave college altogether to tackle the situation of seeing their ex everyday. But sometimes this is not a feasible option so instead work around it and you will fare better.
2. Do not join discussions about your ex
When people around you get to know that you are not together anymore they could try to draw you to a discussion on the ex harping on the fact that how lucky you are that it didn’t work out and how they were not good enough for you.
This is more rampant if yours was an office romance or a college fling. Refrain from joining in discussions like this and adding your two bit.
You might be hating your ex and feeling like badmouthing them but refrain from sharing your feelings with others. You will add to the everyday gossip and nothing else.
3. Go on a holiday
A holiday is a great way to nurse a broken heart. And if you are in a situation where you don’t know how to get over someone you see everyday, a holiday could put things into perspective.
You could come back refreshed and in a better frame of mind to tackle the situation. You will feel that life has more to offer and there is no point dreading the moments you would get to meet your ex after the breakup.
A holiday and a change of scene would help you get over the crush you see everyday.
4. Stay professional
Professionalism can be a savior. If you tell yourself that you need to be professional and you cannot let a personal debacle affect your professional career then you have made the point to yourself.
You can’t have your eyes welling up when your ex walks into the conference hall or you cannot come up with a broken voice when you have to talk to the ex about things professional.
Let your professional self take over your personality then you will see how well you can get over someone you see everyday. How long does it take to get over an ex you see everyday? Depends on how professional you can get about it.
5. Practice mental discipline to get over someone you see everyday
Yes practicing mental discipline does help. You could meditate or even opt for professional counselling to help you acquire the mental discipline of not letting the presence of your ex in your everyday life affect you.
Listening to music helps calm your mind. Go out with friends, talk to them about how you feel seeing your ex everyday, it will help you understand your own feelings. You will be able to deal with your own feelings better.
6. Mask your emotion
Becoming emotional after a break-up is normal. We suggest you take your time to grieve. Take support from friends and family if you need to.
But once you feel better tell yourself that you cannot let your emotions show the moment you see your ex because then you would expose your vulnerability to them and to the people around them.
I had a friend who used to hang out in the same friends’ gang like her ex and whenever she would see him she would start drinking like a fish and get all emotional.
She quit drinking and started sitting with a straight face at the pub right in front of her ex. Soon she was giving others advice on how to get over someone you see everyday.
7. Be courteous but not too nice
It is alright to be civil to an ex you meet everyday at the workplace, at college or in the neighbourhood. Being courteous is fine but don’t let anyone take you for granted.
Be civil but don’t go out of your way to be nice to your ex even if you want to prove a point. So if he requests you to work on the project through the night so that you can meet the deadline and that too for old time’s sake, you will know how to say no.
Related Reading: The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating A Co-Worker
8. Be aware that your relationship has fulfilled its purpose
Every relationship in life has a purpose. It teaches you something. Some relationships are for keeps but some fizzle out at some point of time.
So take away the best from your relationship and understand that it has served its purpose in your life.
This way you will be able to get over someone you see everyday.
9. Find peace within yourself
Your peace is in your hands. You can achieve that by practicing self love. You have to know that you are most important in your life. So make your life worth living. Hit the gym, travel, do social work and find your peace.
You will see after you have attained that, meeting that person you are trying to get over everyday, would not make any difference in your emotional well being.
10. Don’t keep thinking they are your ex
This is one very important thing. When you come across the person everyday do not look at them and think: “There goes my ex.” NO! Absolutely not. Think of them as just another colleague, even a friend, a member of an institution but definitely not as your ex.
How do you get over an ex you still have to see? Think of them as just a person and not as your ex. Train your mind to do that everyday when you set your eyes on them. You will be successful in moving on.
11. Time is the best immunization
Can you get over someone if you still talk to them? Yes you can. In fact, talking to them, definitely not intimately but casually, can help you process your emotions better. Sometimes no contact creates more grief but seeing the person everyday and having a casual conversation could help you put things in perspective.
How long does it take to get over someone? It’s hard to specify the exact months and days but time gives you immunity. And you will see as the days go by you could be talking to them without thinking for once that one day you had a romantic relationship with them.
You would have surely moved on then. You would know you have actually forgotten the memories.
12. Find new motivation
It’s very important to find new motivation. In fact, if you are trying to get over someone you are seeing everyday then use that everyday meeting as motivation to move on.
This could sound a bit paradoxical but then this is possible. It can’t be that you have no contact with someone you see everyday. On the contrary use that everyday meeting as motivation.
For instance if your ex felt that you didn’t have it in you to do that scuba diving course, look at them everyday and tell yourself you can. Turn the situation in your favour completely.
“I see my ex everyday and it hurts.” This is something many people tell themselves after a breakup and keep on carrying the emotional baggage of the broken relationship. But it is extremely unhealthy if you are subjecting yourself to this trauma everyday especially since you are not in a position to get away from the situation. That’s fine. Take charge of the situation, follow our tips and you will be soon over with the person you meet everyday.