Getting over someone you interact with every day is actually the toughest. And this usually happens if you were in a relationship with someone at the workplace, at college or someone who is a neighbor. You’re left confused over how to get over someone you see every day
Dealing with heartbreak is as such not easy. You have to deal with feelings of rejection, the inability to make the relationship work and also you keep grappling with memories constantly. In the midst of that, putting in the extra effort to forget the crush you see every day can make moving on that much harder.
Willy and Molly (name changed) were working in the same office and they fell for each other. They got into a live-in relationship too. But from there, things started going downhill and finally after a year the two moved out and broke up.
Molly said: “We ensured that we didn’t have to live under the same roof anymore but seeing each other at the workplace every day became a menace. We tried to maintain civility but it was awkward because everyone knew we weren’t together anymore. It was the hardest at lunchtime, something we always did together.
“I would leave the office most days at lunch to deal with the situation. I tried very hard to get another job but the market was so bad that I didn’t get any good offers. So, there I was seeing Willy every day and realizing how hard it is to get over an ex you still have to see.”
Psychologist Meghna Prabhu (MSc. Psychology), a certified member of The American Psychological Association (APA) who offers counseling for a range of issues, including dating, breakups and divorce, says, “Ideally when you break up the first thing as a therapist I recommend is completely removing the person from your life and follow the no-contact rule. That way it’s easier to move on and get used to a life without them.
“However, that’s not always possible, because maybe you work together or go to the same school or college. In such cases, it is definitely more difficult to move on from the heartbreak. When you constantly see your ex it’s like they are still part of your life. You will keep watching them to see if they are sad or happy, have they moved on?
“It’s difficult because maybe you did things together, like taking breaks together or having lunch together, etc. that you are no longer doing. The constant exposure to them keeps them in your mind which doesn’t free up space for healing or even meeting someone new.”
That’s why it may be harder to detach from someone you see every day but it is not impossible. With the right support and advice, you can learn to manage your emotions better even when you see an ex or a crush you cannot be with every day. We’re here to help you exactly with that. Let’s delve deeper into how to stop loving someone you see every day and move on.
How To Get Over Someone You See Everyday?
Willy said, “I see my ex every day and it hurts. The decision to move on was a joint one but I never thought it would be this difficult. Can you get over someone if you still talk to them? I have realized it is the hardest part. I see Molly every day, I talk to her, we work together and now I am gradually even forgetting the reasons that drove us apart. I only feel the pain now. I don’t know how to get over someone you see every day.”
Love is a strange thing. It’s even hard to forget your crush who rejected you. You struggle to get over a crush on a friend, or even get over a crush who already has a girlfriend. So getting over a crush on someone at work might seem next to impossible. Why? Because you see them every day.
How do you get over an ex you still have to see? It is possible to do that if you go through the following steps.
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You Love Deeply – 9 Steps To Follow
1. Look for options so that you don’t have to see your ex everyday
How to get over someone you see every day? Your first instinct may be to pack up your things, get on the next plane and move halfway across the country (or the world, depending on how nasty the heartbreak was) so that you no longer have to wrestle with this question. While that may not always be a practical solution, if you and your ex work in the same office maybe you can try to shift to another department. This way you won’t have to work in close proximity and wouldn’t be meeting as often.
You can also ask for work-from-home options or take a transfer to another city. If you are in the same college or go to the same church or are part of the same activity group, then you can try to take a new course, go to a different church or join a different activity group.
Many people leave the job or leave college altogether to tackle the situation of seeing their ex every day. But sometimes this is not a feasible option so instead, work around it and you will fare better.
2. Do not join discussions about your ex
When people around you get to know that you are not together anymore, they could try to draw you to a discussion on the ex harping on the fact that how lucky you are that it didn’t work out and how they were not good enough for you. You will not get over your ex if you talk about them.
The likelihood of inviting quizzical looks, sympathetic sighs and straight-up questions about why it didn’t work out or reassurances that the breakup was in your best interest is higher if yours was an office romance or a college fling. Refrain from joining in discussions like this and adding your two bits. You might hate your ex right now and feel like badmouthing them but refrain from sharing your feelings with others. You will add to the everyday gossip and nothing else.
3. Go on a holiday
Want to lose feelings for someone you see every day? A change of scene might do you a world of good. A holiday is a great way to nurse a broken heart. And if you are in a situation where you don’t know how to get over someone you see every day, a holiday could put things into perspective.
You could come back refreshed and in a better frame of mind to tackle the situation. You will feel that life has more to offer and there is no point dreading the moments you would get to meet your ex after the breakup. Besides, a clear break between your life as a couple and now two broken-up people can make it easier to compartmentalize your feelings and not let them get in the way of your inevitable interactions with each other.
A holiday and a change of scene can also help you get over the crush you see every day. It may help you move closer to the acceptance that nothing may ever happen between you and your crush, and you’d be better off exploring new avenues.
4. Stay professional
How to get over someone you work with? Professionalism can be a savior. If you tell yourself that you need to be professional and you cannot let a personal debacle affect your professional career then you have made the point to yourself.
You can’t have your eyes welling up when your ex walks into the conference hall. You cannot have a quivering voice when you have to talk to the ex about work-related things. While bottling up emotions isn’t typically a good thing, in these circumstances, it is necessary and recommended.
Let your professional self take over your personality, then you will see how well you can get over someone you see every day. How long does it take to get over an ex you see every day? Depends on how professional you can get about it. This is the best way to get over a crush fast.
Related Reading: 5 Steps To Ensure Closure After A Breakup – Are You Following These?
5. Practice mental discipline to get over someone you see everyday
Are you hopelessly in love with someone you cannot be with? Does that leave you losing sleep over the question of how to get over someone you never dated and see every day? Yes, loving someone from a distance can be gut-wrenching, even more so when they’re a part of your everyday life.
That’s where practicing mental discipline can help. You could meditate or even opt for professional counseling to help you acquire the mental discipline of not letting the presence of your crush or ex in your life affect you.
Listening to music (try some songs on getting over a crush) helps calm your mind. Go out with friends, talk to them about how you feel seeing your ex every day, it will help you understand your own feelings. You will be able to deal with your own feelings better.
6. Mask your emotion
Becoming emotional after a break-up is normal. We suggest you take your time to grieve. Take support from friends and family if you need to. But once you feel better, tell yourself that you cannot let your emotions show the moment you see your ex because then you would expose your vulnerability to them and to the people around them.
I had a friend who used to hang out in the same friends’ gang like her ex and whenever she would see him she would start drinking like a fish and get all emotional. Inevitably, the next day, she’d wake up with a bad hangover and a ton of regret over making a fool of herself in front of her friends and her ex YET AGAIN.
She asked me, “How to stop loving someone you see every day?” “Getting a handle on your emotions may be a good starting point,” I suggested. She quit drinking and started sitting with a straight face at the pub right in front of her ex. Soon she was giving others advice on how to get over someone you see every day.
7. Be courteous but not too nice
It is all right to be civil to an ex you meet every day at the workplace, at college or in the neighborhood. Being courteous is fine but don’t let anyone take you for granted. Even if you’re struggling to lose feelings for someone you see every day, don’t let them walk all over you.
Set emotional boundaries and make sure they’re respected. Be civil but don’t go out of your way to be nice to your ex even if you want to prove a point. So if he requests you to work on the project through the night so that you can meet the deadline and that too for old time’s sake, you will know how to say no.
8. Be aware that your relationship has fulfilled its purpose
Every relationship in life has a purpose. It teaches you something. Some relationships are for keeps but some fizzle out at some point in time. If you are trying to get over a crush on a friend then definitely keep this in mind. So take away the best from your relationship and understand that it has served its purpose in your life.
This way you will be able to get over someone you see every day. If you are trying to get over a crush at work, then be aware that your journey was meant to be this far and no further. To detach from someone you see every day, you have to break free from the notion of a happily-ever-after. That’s the key to getting over someone you see every day.
Related Reading: The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating A Co-Worker
9. Find peace within yourself
Your peace is in your hands. You can achieve that by practicing self-love. You have to know that you are the most important thing in your life. So make your life worth living. Hit the gym, do yoga, travel, do social work and find your peace. This is a great way to get over your crush fast.
After you have made peace with the fact that your relationship wasn’t meant to be and learned to prioritize yourself, you will see that meeting that person you are trying to get over every day won’t be as excruciatingly painful anymore. It would not make any difference to your emotional well-being.
10. Don’t keep thinking they are your ex
How to stop loving someone you see every day and get over them? One key piece of the puzzle is to cleanse your headspace. Don’t spend every waking minute of your life obsessing over them. When you come across them every day, do not look at them and think: “There goes my ex.” NO! Absolutely not.
Think of them as just another colleague, even a friend, a member of an institution but definitely not as your ex. How do you get over an ex you still have to see? Think of them as just another person and not as your ex. Train your mind to do that every day when you set your eyes on them. You will be successful in moving on.
11. Time is the best immunization
How to get over someone you never dated and see every day? Can you get over someone if you still talk to them? Yes, and yes. It may sound clichéd but it’s true that time is the biggest healer. So, to lose feelings for someone you see every day, give yourself time.
In fact, talking to them, definitely not intimately but casually, can help you process your emotions better. Sometimes the no-contact rule can create more grief, and on the other hand, seeing the person every day and having a casual conversation could help you put things in perspective.
How long does it take to get over someone? It’s hard to specify the exact months and days but time gives you immunity. And you will see as the days go by you could be talking to them without thinking for once that one day you had a romantic relationship with them. You would have surely moved on then. You would know you have actually forgotten the memories.
12. Find new motivation
It’s very important to find new motivation. In fact, if you are trying to get over someone you are seeing every day then use that everyday meeting as motivation to move on. This could sound a bit paradoxical but then this is possible. It can’t be that you have no contact with someone you see every day. On the contrary, use that everyday meeting as motivation.
For instance, if your ex felt that you didn’t have it in you to do that scuba diving course, look at them every day and tell yourself you can. Turn the situation in your favor completely and find your own happiness.
“I see my ex every day and it hurts.” This is something many people tell themselves after a breakup and keep on carrying the emotional baggage of the broken relationship. But it is extremely unhealthy if you are subjecting yourself to this trauma every day, especially since you are not in a position to get away from the situation. That’s fine. Take charge of the situation, follow our tips and you will be soon over with the person you meet every day.
It means that despite a breakup you are still not over your crush. It means you have not yet got your closure and you are unable to move on. But if you have the resolve to get someone off your mind you can move on without closure too
If you have had a crush for years it’s hard to get over them. Even if it’s a one-sided crush or you are trying to get over a crush on a friend it is hard. But it is possible to get over someone you love.
It takes between 6 months and a year to get over a crush. It also depends on how much you want to get over your crush and move on. If you want to live in the memories then it will definitely take longer.
A crush can last for years. Typically you don’t get over your high-school crush that easily. It has even happened that when you meet them after years you still feel weak in the knees.