How to get over someone you never dated and see every day? How to get over someone you see every day but are not in a relationship with anymore? Is it possible to heal when they leave you for someone else and you have to face them daily? Are you constantly battling with such questions? That’s a toughie, we know! Getting over someone you can’t have, especially when you’re in the same workplace, college, or neighborhood, can be incredibly challenging.
The proximity and constant reminders of the person make it difficult to move on. Dealing with heartbreak involves handling feelings of rejection, the grief of a failed relationship, the persistent presence of memories, and letting go of the one you love. Having to make the extra effort to forget someone you love when you have to see them every day only adds to the difficulty of moving forward.
You have a hard time because maybe you did things together like having lunch in the break room or sending each other memes on social media apps in class, which you no longer can, resulting in a void. If it’s not possible for you to distance yourself from the environment where the romance thrived, everywhere you turn, you may find reminders of them. Add to that, a constant exposure to the person you once loved (or perhaps still do), and no wonder your mind doesn’t free up space for healing or a new relationship. You can’t just unlove someone just like that, can you? This begs the question — how to stop loving someone you see every day? Let’s find out.
How To Get Over Someone You See Every Day?
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Although it may be challenging, it is possible to detach from someone you see daily. With proper support and guidance, you can learn to control your emotions and move forward, even when you have to cross paths with an ex or an unrequited crush in your everyday life. Figuring out how to get over someone you see every day at work or school or socially can seem incomprehensible at first, for sure.
As Willy, our reader from Wisconsin, says, “Every time I see my ex, it hurts. Trying to move on was a joint decision but I never thought it would be this difficult. I have realized it is the hardest part. I see Molly every day, I talk to her, we work together and now I am gradually even forgetting the reasons that drove us apart. I only feel the pain now. It is hard to admit that I’m in love with someone I can’t have and what’s even worse is when that someone moves on quickly while you’re still hung up on them. Can you get over someone if you still talk to them? I never thought that getting over someone you love would be so hard.”
However, it is not impossible. When you’re writhing with the pain of heartbreak, you may find yourself fixating on questions like, how long does it take to get over someone? A few weeks, a few months, years? Because the pain seems unbearable and you just don’t want to stop feeling this way. The key here is to remember that healing is not about the will to move on but the understanding of why you need to, and choosing to do it consistently. In there, also lies the answer to: how do you get over an ex you still have to see? To aid the process, here are a few steps you can follow to detach yourself from a love interest you see every day and move on:
1. Look for options so that you don’t have to see your ex every day
How to get over someone you see every day? Your first instinct may be to pack up your things, get on the next plane, and move halfway across the country (or the world, depending on how nasty the heartbreak was) so that you no longer have to wrestle with this question. Trust us, we understand how arduous it is to get over an ex who is still an active part of your life, or even forget the crush you see every day. You feel trapped, you feel uncomfortable in a place where you had the utmost comfort once. We’d like to suggest some less drastic options though. Here are a few things you can consider:
- Consider shifting to a different department within your workplace to reduce close proximity with your ex
- Explore work-from-home options or request a transfer to another city if feasible
- If you encounter your ex in college, church, or activity groups, consider taking a new course, attending a different place of worship, or joining a different group
- Leaving your job or college may not always be practical, so find alternative solutions and adapt to the situation for a better outcome
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You Love Deeply – 9 Steps To Follow
2. Do not join discussions about your ex
When people around you get to know that you are not together anymore, they may try to draw you into discussions about your ex, harping on how lucky you are that it didn’t work out and how they were not good enough for you. That is all well and good but you will not get over your ex if you keep talking about them.
The likelihood of inviting quizzical looks, sympathetic sighs and straight-up questions about why it didn’t work out or reassurances that the breakup was in your best interest is higher if yours was an office romance or a college fling. Refrain from partaking in such discussions and adding your two bits. You might hate your ex right now and feel like badmouthing them but refrain from sharing your feelings with people who have nothing to do with your relationship. It will serve no purpose and you will only end up fanning the gossip mills.
3. Go on a holiday
Want to lose feelings for someone you see every day? A change of scene might do you a world of good. A holiday is arguably the easiest way to get over someone. A holiday could put things into perspective. Getting someone off your mind becomes easier when it is occupied with exciting new experiences.
You may come back refreshed and in a better frame of mind to tackle the situation. You’d realize that life has so much more to offer and there is no point dreading the moments you would get to face your ex after the breakup. Besides, a clear break between your life as a couple and post-breakup can make it easier to compartmentalize your feelings and not let them get in the way of your inevitable interactions with your ex.
A holiday and a change of scene can also help you feel good and get over the crush you see every day. It may help you move closer to the acceptance that nothing may ever happen between you and your crush, and you’d be better off exploring new things. Who knows, you might find someone amazing on your travels.
Related Reading: 21 Signs You Should Break Up For Good
4. Keep things professional
How to get over someone you see every day at work? Professionalism can be a savior. Tell yourself that you need to be professional and you cannot let a personal debacle affect your career. Whether you’re trying to deal with an ex you share professional space with or forget the crush you see every day, these constant reminders can help you stay on course.
You can’t have your eyes welling up when your ex or crush walks into the conference room. You cannot have a quivering voice when you have to talk to them about work-related things. While bottling up emotions isn’t typically a good thing, in these circumstances, it is necessary and recommended.
Let your professional self take over your personality, you will see how well you can get over someone you see every day. How long does it take to get over an ex you see every day? Depends on how professional you can get about it. This is probably the easiest way to get over someone you interact with daily. “Fake it till you make it” does prove to be helpful in situations like this.
5. Practice mental discipline to get over someone you see every day
Are you cudgeling your brain with questions like, “How to stop crushing on someone you see every day?” and “How to get over someone you never dated and see every day?” We understand that loving someone from a distance can be gut-wrenching, even more so when they’re a part of your everyday life. Since the problem presents itself regularly, you have to resort to consistent practices to cope. That is where mental discipline comes in handy. Here are some things you can try:
- Establish boundaries to limit interactions and minimize emotional distress
- Prioritize self-care through physical and mental well-being activities
- Spend time with your thoughts and introspect
- Shift your perspective by focusing on personal growth and new opportunities
- Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist to help navigate the emotional challenges
6. Channel your emotions the right way
How to get over your ex when you still see them, you ask? You need to find the right way to channel your emotions. Being emotionally fragile after a breakup is perfectly normal but that doesn’t mean that you have to let the world – and more specifically, your ex – see what a wreck you’re. No, we’re not saying you need to bottle up your emotions and push them away. By all means, take the time to grieve your breakup but do it with the help of the people you know love and care about you.
Lean on your friends and family for support but tell yourself that you cannot let your emotions show at the surface level the moment you see your ex. I had a friend who used to hang out with the same set of friends as her ex and whenever she would see him, she would start drinking like a fish and get all emotional. Inevitably, the next day, she’d wake up with a bad hangover and a ton of regret over making a fool of herself in front of her friends and her ex YET AGAIN.
She asked me, “How to stop loving someone you see every day?” “Getting a handle on your emotions and accepting that the relationship ended might be a good starting point,” I suggested. She quit drinking and started sitting with a straight face at the pub right in front of her ex or avoided these hangouts altogether for some time. Soon she was giving others advice on how to get over someone you see every day.
Related Reading: 5 Steps To Ensure Closure After A Breakup – Are You Following These?
7. Be courteous but not too nice
It is all right to be civil to an ex you meet every day at the workplace, at college, or in the neighborhood. Being courteous is fine but don’t let anyone take you for granted. Even if you’re struggling to lose feelings for someone you see every day, don’t let them walk all over you. Letting go of someone who doesn’t want you can be easy or difficult depending on how much you stress over it and if you take the necessary steps to move forward. You need to understand the importance of letting people go.
How to stop being friends with someone you see every day? Set emotional boundaries and make sure they’re respected. Be civil but don’t go out of your way to be nice to your ex or crush, even if you want to prove a point. So if he requests you to work on the project through the night so that he can meet the deadline and that too for old time’s sake, know how to say no. Stick to the small talk if there is no other way around it, but do not go out of your way. You need the space to heal.
8. Be mindful of the fact that this relationship has served its purpose
Every relationship in life has a purpose. It teaches you something. Some relationships are for keeps while others fizzle out at some point. If you are trying to get over a crush on a friend or figuring out the moving-on strategy after a breakup, keep this in mind. So take away the best from your relationship and understand that it has served its purpose in your life. It is imperative to know when it is time to close the door on a relationship.
To detach from someone you see every day, you have to break free from the notion of a happily-ever-after. Often, the reason why we can’t let go of someone is because deep inside we still hope. Accepting reality is the key to getting over someone you love and see every day.
Related Reading: The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating A Co-Worker
9. Find peace within yourself
You might have come across the saying, “Find someone who makes you happy”. But before that, you need to find happiness within yourself. Your peace of mind is in your hands. So instead of relying on someone else to make you feel happy and content, begin the journey of self-love. Here are some ways to help you get started:
- Engage in self-care activities that prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional well-being
- Explore a new hobby or other things that interest you to redirect your focus and create positive experiences
- Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift and encourage you
- Boost your self-esteem through positive affirmations, journaling, or seeking professional help to process emotions and build resilience
- Set goals and focus on personal growth to create a sense of purpose beyond the relationship with your ex-lover
Whenever your mind asks, “How to stop being friends with someone you see every day?”, respond with, “By befriending yourself!” After you have made peace with the fact that your relationship wasn’t meant to be and learned to prioritize yourself, you will see that meeting that person you are trying to get over every day won’t be as excruciatingly painful anymore. As we said, acceptance can help you get over someone you see every day.
10. Don’t keep thinking they are your ex
How to stop loving someone you see every day and get over them? One key piece of the puzzle is to cleanse your headspace. Don’t spend every waking minute of your life obsessing over them. When you come across them every day, do not look at them and think: “There goes my ex.” NO! Absolutely not. Learning to live without someone is like learning any new skill, it takes time and consistent effort. Taking them off the pedestal plays a huge role in this healing and grieving process.
But how do you get over an ex you still have to see? How do you stop thinking about them? Here’s a hack. Think of them as just another colleague, even a friend, a member of an institution but stop thinking about them as your ex. Train your mind to do that every day you set your eyes on them. Eventually, your perspective will begin to shift and you will have successfully moved on.
Related Reading: 10 Ways Overthinking Ruins Relationships
11. Time is the best immunization
How to get over someone you never dated and see every day? Can you get over someone if you still talk to them? Yes, and yes. It may sound clichéd but time is indeed the biggest healer. Sometimes the no-contact rule can create more grief, and on the other hand, seeing the person every day and having a casual conversation could help you put things in perspective. Pretending would make things worse, while acceptance will liberate. So, be mindful of this casual approach.
How long does it take to get over someone? It’s hard to specify the exact months and days but with the right mindset based on acceptance, time gives you immunity. You will see as the days go by you could be talking to them without thinking for once that one day you had a romantic relationship with them. You would have moved on then.
12. Find new motivation
It’s very important to find new motivation. In fact, if you are trying to get over someone you are seeing every day, then use those everyday run-ins as motivation to move on. This could sound a bit paradoxical but then this is possible. For instance, if your ex felt that you didn’t have it in you to learn scuba diving, when you look at them every day, tell yourself you can and you will.
Turn the situation in your favor completely and find your own happiness. It is like tricking your heart in the pursuit of getting over someone you can’t have into pursuing things that you never dared to pursue. Sounds twisted, doesn’t it? It can be, but if you’re mindful and don’t lose sight of the real objective behind doing it, it can prove to be effective.
Related Reading: 19 Dos And Don’ts After A Breakup
13. Explore therapy modalities
Consider seeking therapy to acquire tools and insights that can bolster your healing process and help you find peace. Therapy can provide a safe and supportive space where you can openly discuss your emotions, gain insights into your thought patterns and behaviors, and learn effective coping strategies. If giving up on love feels too overwhelming right now, you can consider exploring these 5 alternative therapy approaches:
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Embrace your emotions and commit to actions aligned with your values, helping you move forward despite daily encounters with your ex
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Process and reduce the negative emotions associated with past traumas, allowing for better management of daily interactions with your ex
- Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT): Focus on practical solutions, building on personal strengths, and reframing perspectives to navigate daily encounters and create a positive future
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Develop skills to regulate emotions, improve interpersonal interactions, and cope effectively with the emotional challenges of seeing your ex every day
- Narrative Therapy: Reshape your narratives, find empowerment in your own story, and redefine your sense of self and identity to navigate the experience of seeing your ex every day
14. Find a support system
Finding a support system is crucial when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup and having to see the person every day. Surrounding yourself with understanding and empathetic individuals can provide much-needed emotional support and guidance during this challenging time. You can count on your inner circle to constantly push you to look forward instead of backward.
They can offer a listening ear, provide emotional validation for your feelings, and offer different perspectives that may help you gain clarity and find peace. A supportive network can also serve as a source of distraction and positive influence, helping you shift your focus away from the past relationship and encouraging you to engage in activities that promote healing and personal growth.
Related Reading: The 7 Fundamentals Of Support In A Relationship
15. Engage in physical activity
Engaging in physical activity is an effective way to move on from an ex-lover or crush you have to see every day. Regular exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters that can help counteract feelings of sadness or frustration. Physical activity also helps reduce stress levels by providing an outlet for pent-up emotions and tension. It is one of the best ways to love yourself.
Whether it’s going for a run, joining a fitness class, or practicing yoga, exercise allows you to focus your energy on taking care of your body and mind. Additionally, exercise can improve your overall well-being, boost self-confidence, and enhance your sense of self-worth. It provides a positive distraction from thoughts about your ex or unrequited crush and gives you a sense of accomplishment as you work towards your fitness goals.
Key Pointers
- Seeing your ex every day can trigger memories, emotions, and a sense of longing, making healing and letting go of love difficult
- Holding onto unresolved feelings or clinging to past memories can lead to prolonged emotional distress, affecting your overall happiness and mental health
- Prioritize self-care, establish personal boundaries, engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-reflection, and create emotional space by setting healthy boundaries with your ex-lover to find peace and gradually move on from the past relationship
- When you free yourself from the emotional baggage of the past relationship, you create space for personal growth, new connections, and the opportunity to find a healthier and more fulfilling relationship in the future
“I see my ex every day and it hurts”, I said when I was trying to get over my heartbreak last year. And I know exactly how badly the emotional baggage of a broken relationship can weigh you down. It can be gut-wrenching to try to lose feelings for someone you see every day. It pushes you into a downward spiral of overthinking, wrestling with thoughts like, how to get over someone you love deeply and see every day, how to walk away from someone you love, how to move on from the love of your life. The more you think about it, the harder it gets to find answers. Trust me when I say, I understand!
That being said, it is extremely unhealthy if you are subjecting yourself to this trauma every day, especially since you are not in a position to get away from the situation. That’s fine. I am positive that the tips mentioned above will help you move on as they helped me. Take charge of the situation, and you’ll see a world of exciting possibilities that will open itself to you.
This article has been updated in June 2023.
FAQs
It means that despite a breakup you are still not over your crush. It means you have not yet got your closure and you are unable to move on. But if you have the resolve to get someone off your mind you can move on without closure too.
If you have had a crush for years it’s hard to get over them. Even if it’s a one-sided crush or you are trying to get over a crush on a friend it is hard. But it is possible to get over someone you love.
It takes between 6 months and a year to get over a crush. It also depends on how much you want to get over your crush and move on. If you want to live in the memories then it will definitely take longer.
A crush can last for years. Typically you don’t get over your high-school crush that easily. It has even happened that when you meet them after years you still feel weak in the knees.
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