You have been in a stable relationship but there is still something bothering you. Perhaps, it is the “Ex” factor that is still haunting your relationship. He might be in a relationship with you but he hasn’t got over his ex and you can perceive it. You can faintly see the sings he loves his ex still.
Have you noticed him still referring to his ex in conversations, talking to her when you are not around and seeming lonely even though you are with him? Is he still in love with his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend?
According to a survey1 done by 93.1 FM Wzak, – 71% of people say they think about their ex too much; narrowed to singles, the figure goes up to 81%.
Don’t take your suspicions lightly, because they might be right and these signs will confirm it.
10 Signs He Is Still In Love With His Ex
How many times have you thought to yourself, “I think my boyfriend still has feelings for his ex”? Being in a relationship with a person who still clings on to his ex makes you question your position in the relationship. You even begin to question whether this relationship is going to stick.
Confronting him without knowing for sure will just portray you as a jealous and suspicious girlfriend and will make him compare you with his ex. Here are 10 signs he misses his ex-wife or girlfriend.
Related reading: How do I cope with my husband’s deep friendship with his ex-wife?
1. The relationship is long over, but he still talks to her
Your boyfriend and his ex might have ended their relationship but they are still on talking terms. Which in many cases can be okay especially if they had been long-term friends and broke up on a good note.
However, one of the alarming signs that he’s not over his ex is when you catch him texting her or calling her when you are not around. You try to make yourself understand that it’s not a big deal but his conversations don’t seem to end.
Being friends with his ex is okay but the problem arises when your boyfriend or husband tries to hide the fact that he is in touch with her. It is not a free pass to lie to you. There have to be some boundaries.
Related Reading: 12 Signs of a Lying Spouse
2. He hasn’t removed her pictures from Social Media
Your boyfriend still keeps cozy and lovey-dovey pictures with her on his social media. When you confront him, he tries to stall you by making excuses like – “It’s a good picture”, “She’s just a friend now” or that “It will look rude”.
And if you catch him looking at those pictures sometimes it could be a definite one of the sings he is missing his ex.
How many cozy pictures of you both does he have on social media?
Related Reading: Unfriending on Social Media: 6 Tips on How To Do It Politely
3. He brings up her name in conversations
Whether you both are on a date or spending quality time together at home, he somehow always brings up his ex. His ex seems to be in 60% of his conversations and this puts you off many times.
Some way or the other, there’s something that makes him remember and refer his ex. Even when you both are hanging out with his friends he will talk about the fun episodes he had with his ex. It is as if you are still an outsider to him. Another alarming sign he’s not over his ex.
Related reading: 15 signs YOU are being a clingy girlfriend
4. You’ve caught him stalking her online
You just sit beside him while he is on his phone and he gets all jumpy on you. You check what he was checking and there it is, the profile page of his ex, staring right at your face and mocking you. He tries to give excuses but you know what’s going on.
He has been stalking his ex! Your boyfriend still misses his ex because he is still in love with her.
5. He sometimes calls you by her name
“I take thee, Rachel”
Remember what happened to Ross from Friends when he said the wrong name at the altar? It was so embarrassing for Emily. Imagine if your boyfriend calls you by his ex’s name at a party.
Has this already happened to you? If yes, then it means that in his mind she still is his girlfriend and you are simply there to fill her shoes. If this has happened to you more than once then you need to rethink your status in the relationship, you don’t want to end up as the rebound!
6. You don’t feel like you are in a new relationship
You don’t feel that rush and excitement of being in a fresh relationship. It is as if the honeymoon period in your relationship ended before it started. The entire time you think whether he is cheating on you with his ex and you both are already behaving like an old bickering couple.
If you barely even feel that his eyes are all for you at the beginning of the relationship, then something is off for sure. Definitely one of the signs he still loves his ex.
Related reading: My girlfriend brings up her ex during intimate moments
7. He still has her stuff
You open his closet and find an old outfit of hers. You ask him about it and he just talks about how forgetful he is. The truth is that he still has her stuff because he is not ready to let go of her and her memories. It’s one of the signs he still misses his ex and reminisces about her.
He has her things because they are too precious for him to throw away as they are the only things that will connect him to her and he doesn’t want to let go of that.
However, if he only has one or two stray things that once belonged to her, it could be a coincidence.
8. He hasn’t told his parents about you
It’s been quite a few months now and you still haven’t met his parents. His parents don’t even know that you exist as a friend. Did it take this long for him to tell his parents about his ex too? If no, then it’s because in his mind he feels that his old flame was the one for him and is still unsure about what he feels about you.
If he had introduced his ex to his parents then it was definitely a serious relationship. It takes time for anyone to get over a serious relationship and there are chances that he still loves his ex.
9. He compares you with his ex
One of the most alarming signs that he’s not over his ex is when you find him vocally comparing you to her. Whatever you do for him, whether it’s cooking for him or taking him to new restaurants, he will mention how his ex would do it.
He constantly compares your actions with her and tells you how special she made him feel. Imagine cooking him his favourite dish only for him to tell you about how well his ex made it for him. It’s like he wants you to be her.
Related Reading: 20 Signs He Is Not Into You
10. He speaks about his ex during intimate moments
One of the most evident signs he still loves his ex or is not over his ex is if he remembers her instead of you while indulging in physical intimacy.
Imagine your boyfriend saying her name instead of yours during the climax. It could not get worse! You may be able to forgive him for comparing your cooking with hers but not this! Are you willing to forgive him thinking about his old love while having sex with you?
My Boyfriend Still Loves His Ex And Loves Me Too
“I think my boyfriend still has feelings for his ex”
“My boyfriend loves his ex more than me”
“He’s not over his ex should I be patient or should I leave?”
If any of the above thoughts have come into your mind, you aren’t being the crazy girlfriend. You have reasons to have your doubts and the above signs prove it. Sometimes, when you confront your boyfriend he will tell you that he loves you but still misses his ex. He tells you that he needs time to get over her. It could be possible that your boyfriend still loves his ex and has jumped into the next relationship too soon.
It doesn’t give them time to heal and thus they can’t move on. In such a scenario the person who suffers the most is you, the current girlfriend. Your current relationship becomes unstable as it still stands on the history of the previous relationship. Sometimes, the ghosts of their previous relationships make it harder for men to move on. They get into a fresh relationship but most of the time it’s a rebound.
In such a scenario what men need is a friend rather than a confronting girlfriend. Help your boyfriend move on from his ex but don’t keep your hopes high about your relationship. Be there for him and get him to see how much you are willing to risk for him. Rather than making the ex an obstacle of your relationship, treat her as the key to saving your relationship by helping him move on.
My husband is still in love with his ex
It is both easier and harder being married to someone who is not over his ex. The question you’re probably asking yourself is, “He’s not over his ex should I be patient or should I leave?”
When you’re married to a person, you have more time to get to understand each other and hence. You can still help your husband get over his ex and have more time to make him fall in love with you. So, don’t give up hope just yet.
However, if you feel like there is no hope for him and he’s never getting over his ex, maybe it is time to let go and find someone who actually loves you and deserves you.