Looking for an arranged marriage online

Pushpendra Pandya
man texting lover on phone

Find your bride online!

A relative suggested I should sign up on matrimonial websites since I had already tried relatives’ references and other community marriage programmes. So I logged in and they had options for paid and free. Since I wasn’t sure how this works overall, I opted for the free version. Who doesn’t like free things?

Writing the profile wasn’t all that difficult until I was asked what kind of qualities I’d like to see in my partner. Like ‘an ideal wife’ sorts. A puzzling question, I reckoned.

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Related reading: What is it like to find a partner through matrimonial websites?

What do I want?

My fingers trembled initially and I wondered why I was so nervous. A sudden chat window popped up and distracted me. It was one of my school friends, who had pinged me after years. We had some disagreements about a girl I was dating back then. He pinged to ask ‘how have you been’ and ‘what is happening’ sort of stuff.

I went on answering and within a few minutes, I was actually describing what I wanted to see in my partner. A sudden power cut allowed me some time to pay attention to the matrimonial question about my to-be partner. I wrote the following bits without a second thought.

What I am seeking is perhaps seeking me too, going by the great Rumi’s wisdom; there’s someone who is longing to be with someone like me. I may seem picky, weird and even sometimes extremely like an introvert, but deep down I believe I’m a simple man who enjoys the little joys of life.

male friends

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We do not manufacture minds; they are given and we all develop by experience, upbringing and our nature. Before I dare describe a perfect partner, I must realise and accept myself and understand myself better.

Before I dare describe a perfect partner, I must realise and accept myself and understand myself better.

Now I really wonder whether anyone would be interested to enter into a marriage bond with someone this philosophical or twisted!

In my mind I started having a conversation with my imaginary wife-to-be:

“No ifs or buts — I’ll go to any length to be happy with you and to keep you happy; I think a man’s ego and a woman’s jealousy can be tackled with patience, understanding and love. Easier said than done but I have faith that it’s possible. Will you marry me if I were less rich than you, less educated than you in spite of our understanding and mutual love?”

What have you to offer?

Myriad answers echoed:

“Will you be okay if I hang out with my rich friends once in a while?”

“Won’t you spoil my whole week if I go out for dinner with my co-worker(s)?”

“Will you be okay If I earned more than you and my lifestyle, what about that?”

“Will you and your family accept me if I continue to live the way I have lived my whole life, freely?”

“My parents have slogged so much to give me the best education and you think they will be happy to marry me to someone who barely has a hand-to-mouth lifestyle?”

My subconscious was making me dig deeper. I posted my questions on Quora and I received some really interesting insights from today’s roaring women’s point of view on marriage and more. That was when I realised I received more marriage proposals on Quora than on matrimonial sites.

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2 comments

Sneha Gupta
Sneha Gupta July 9, 2018 - 2:15 pm

Quite relatable!

Even my parents told me to make a matrimonial profile and I made for their happiness . Then, there were few proposals and few my Dad has sent and guess what I met one of them :P. It was hilarious, didn’t work out and eventually, we stopped checking the site.m You actually just can’t send requests like facebook on matrimonial sites right?

Urmimala Das
Urmimala Das August 25, 2017 - 3:35 pm

Nice read PP.

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