Humour

The funniest matrimonial ads in India – you will die laughing. And will also cry

Although matrimonial websites and apps have taken strides into the Indian arranged marriage market, newspaper matrimonial ads still continue to thrive.
Indian wedding

Marriage is considered one of the sacred and most important pillars of the Indian society and our biggest pastime as well.

No wonder finding prospective grooms and brides occupies the minds of most of the senior generation, especially parents, grandparents and relatives, and although it’s a practical way of getting married, it can be funny and weird too.

Read more: Tips to embrace your kinky side without being labelled a ‘pervert’

While online matrimonial sites are more prevalent with youngsters, Indian parents and families still prefer to choose matrimonial matches for their children and relatives through newspapers. Matrimonial ads are more popular and have a wide reach, as most people are not well conversant with the Internet and second, such ads yield better and fruitful results, as newspapers are read by people from across all social strata and therefore can reach more people. This speeds up the search process as well.

Funny Matrimonial advert

Interestingly, these ads can give a deep and incisive insight into the character of the persons involved. Read a few to judge for yourself and do notice the emphasis on looks, complexion, financial status, sexual factors – it will make you laugh

Ladki beautiful…

funny matrimonials

 

Chauhan girl 27/5’2″ convented b’ful working in top MNC Lko. Father Cl-I officer. High status family. E-mail: xxxxx@sify.com …………. Box No.

Alliance invited from Civil Services /profly. qlfd/well placed match for Kasaudhan Vaish girl 24/152 gori, v.b’ful, M.Sc. Biotech, convent educated. Father professional. All vaish accepted. BHP must……….. Box No.

Related reading: Why finding a match in arranged marriage can be like F1 racing

Well, at least they’re honest

brutally-honest- matrimonial

This ad takes the cake for being absolutely candid and hilarious-

Matrimonial ads based on language are further categorised as Assamese, Bengali, Gujarati, Malayalam, Kannada, Kashmiri, etc. In terms of profession, we find Doctors, Engineers, CA, MBA, Advocates, etc. They are priced based on the number of words, lines and characters and therefore you need to create your matrimonial ad keeping in mind these factors. No wonder we can see many creative ones as a result.

Hilarious matrimonial ad

Although online matrimonial sites are ruling the roost when it comes to attracting the educated, city bred, professional youngsters, matrimonial ads in newspaper still retains their place with people who are not Internet savvy.

Read more: What if you’re just the ‘backup’ plan?

Full marks for trying

Here are a few profiles from online matrimonial sites too which will crack you up:

Matrimonial Profile 1

Hi, am Yashoda, I passed my marriageable age, I seek for the perfect match for me. The boy should be long in height, He can have long hairs also, but he should not have animals in house. Everything else is ok, north and west Indian please excuse me. If you are my man, I long for your partnership. I you want we can chat on facebook also, you can poke me if you want.

Matrimonial Profile 2

Jai Sri Krishna. My self Tarun, I am working as Deputy Manager, I am like party animal, I am looking for outdoor girl who not part of this culture, but she should not accompany me. She should also be having job and decent package. Caste, colour, education, horoscope no bar. She should know Gujarati cuisines. If interested mail me.

Matrimonial Profile 3

Namaste namaste, We seek a BRIDE for our son who is clean shaven, educated, very enterprising, handsome, he’s got a height of 5’10″ and he just turned 26 having trained abroad he manages his own business. We are high status affluent family with 2 bank accounts in private BANK and we are very liberal in our outlook. He seeks a life partner who is 21, minimum height 5’4″ and IQ of 80 and very modern outlook. If agreeable please send a recent profile with recent photograph and please send photos with front profiles only, please do not send side profiles and it is too inconvenient to judge girls beauty. Thank you.

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8 Comments

  1. My father put a matrimonial ad in a leading newspaper. I did not c the ad. A Guy called my father…all details regarding work, family were exchanged. ….both the parties were interested. That guy informed my father the date to come and c me. I just checked the ad( out of curiosity) . Really, I got shocked..I am a dark looking girl. But in the ad its written “beautiful, fair looking girl”. I showed it to my dad . He too got worried and he calld the guy and said ” c , thers a mistake in the ad, my daughter is not fair …shes dark.”. Anyway that person had no problem in that..he came to c me…v got married…it has been 10 years since…still cant stop laughing😊😊😊

  2. All relationships come with an expiry date Preeti ,including marriage. They have to be taken to the next level once the expiry date closes in – ascension as one may call it or they go down in the dumps- choice is ours.Earlier, people were not aware and did not lead a mindful life- today we are more evolving more on a spiritual level.

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