Married Life

How I lost my identity while I was busy building my husband’s life

You don’t need a husband who beats you up, or insults you, or engages in extramarital affairs to ruin your self-esteem, to crush your identity.
identity

I am Nalini, a daughter, a wife, a mother. I am well educated if education means what you study and where you study. I used to have opinions, conversations, a career, albeit a haphazard one. But I preferred being with my husband to going to an office. So, I went wherever he went. Tagging along like a tail. And, what’s more, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I stayed wherever I was expected to stay, from barrack-like quarters to ill-furnished apartments. I was content trying out new, exotic dishes, inviting people over, attending to ‘wifely’ duties that were part of my husband’s professional requirements, and even bent over backwards to please my in-laws, always unsuccessfully. The best part was that no one asked me to do this, not even my husband.

He was quite proud of me. Initially. And, then slowly, over the years, I lost my way. Don’t get me wrong. I still voiced my opinion and often had a captive audience comprising both men and women. But, I made a blunder. I love my life around my husband. I didn’t realise that I had slowly turned into a bedraggled, irritable and nagging wife, who was mostly in the kitchen when guests came, while my husband chatted them up in the living room.

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