A million things may get in the way of love but having to choose between love or money was a dilemma I never I’d have to face. When you have a palpable connection with someone, the kind that feels like was waiting for you all your life, the kind that makes you instantly believe in true love despite disregarding it in the past, you forget about every pitiful little thing that may stand in your way.
When you experience love like that, it’s supposed to overcome all, right? At least that’s what all the people say! The reality is, it’s a lot more sinister than the rom-coms make it out to be. It’s a lot more deceitful than the Rumi poems you read would have you believe.
Read on to find out how I found the love of my life, found intense happiness I never knew existed, and what followed soon after.
Love Or Money? Would You Chose Money Over Love?
Would you choose money over love? Or would you value a connection more than any monetary gain? Before we get into why and how this question became important in my life, let’s take a look at just how perfect my fairytale love story seemed to be. If the way it started was anything to go by, I’d have definitely found my soulmate, someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
The things that happened after left me shocked but eventually made me realize you need to love your own life regardless of what happens around you. Your mental and physical health should be the most important things to you, and they should never be sacrificed for anyone else. Let’s get right into how I found the love of my life at my best friend’s wedding.
How I met the love of my life
My best friend had a gorgeous destination wedding that I had waited for forever. We had pretty much grown up together and she was the apple of my eye. She picked the most serene chapel for her wedding and the groom was from Connecticut. A few of us were invited a day early, including me. It was then that I saw him, the groom’s best friend.
In what seemed like a scene plucked straight out of the most romantic film you’ve ever seen, our eyes met across a crowded room and we smiled at each other. Like a hopeless romantic, a million thoughts raced through my mind at that very instant.
I had never met him before but spent nights stalking his Facebook profile (later he confessed that he had too!). I wasn’t a believer in love at first sight. In fact, I completely loathed it. But you know what they say about love. If it’s meant to happen, it will. I had fallen for this man the minute I laid my eyes on him. Instantly my heart screamed ‘you are marrying this guy’ but my mind said, shut up, you are 24!
Related Reading: Why chasing after marriage is not a good idea
That night, our first, we chatted from 3:00 am to 8:30 over one cup of coffee. I had never been so drawn to any man before. We spoke about life: past, present, future. We talked about our mistakes, flaws and the true meaning of the word ‘soulmate.’ He was perfect. At the end of three days, we had held hands, kissed, hugged, laughed, cried and got drunk together. Before we knew it, he had to leave for Connecticut while I was headed to Pittsburgh. He held my hand and told me, “I already miss you. I am going to come and get you wherever you are.” I was ecstatic; I was falling in love too fast.
The perfect relationship
Though there were many miles between us, we never let it hamper our love for each other. We talked all day, all night. We Skyped, shared secrets, and family matters. It wasn’t too long before he confessed his love and his desire to marry me.
I would wake up to his ‘I love you’ and sleep to his ‘You will be my wife.’ He flew down to Pittsburgh soon and I met his family. They were quite welcoming and I spent a couple of nights with them while he was here. We went to the most elite restaurants for dinner.
Our first date was at a fancy place overlooking the sunset. I wore a red gown and him, a blue shirt. Everyone watched us as we made our way in (I get goosebumps just writing this!). We watched movies, shopped, danced and even made coffee together. I was a smoker but, whilst with him, it was a strict no-no. Besides, I did not want to upset him and was on my way to quitting.
We spoke about our marriage and honeymoon destination. Soon enough, I went to Connecticut to visit him. He took me to the most popular places and pampered me like a princess. With him, I felt like I was in heaven. He showed me around his house, which seemed nothing less than a palace. I was so awestruck. His house was truly the stuff of dreams. I was at peace in that house. We both pictured our lives in that house after tying the knot. Then it was time for me to go back to Pittsburgh.
Related Reading: How Money Issues Can Ruin Your Relationship
Choosing money over love
After four months, I said ‘yes’ to his proposal. It was the happiest day of my life. But clichéd as it sounds, life never goes according to plan. He decided to leave. Leave me, those promises, those days and nights we spent together. He left, without saying a word. I was devastated, miserable, and lost.
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong and why he reacted the way he did. Determined to find out, I decided I wasn’t letting him go without an explanation. After all, when you tell someone you love them and you want to marry them, it’s the least you can do for them. You owe them an explanation. Moving on without closure was not something I was looking forward to.
I went to Connecticut to see him. He refused to see me at first, but, after much coaxing, we met for lunch. I cried like a baby. He ate and I cried. He chided me for creating a scene. Finally, he said: “I am sorry, your family doesn’t come from a financial background as strong as ours.”
I couldn’t believe that the reason for his betrayal stemmed from the financial background of my family! We had planned to live together, we had planned every aspect of our lives together. To hear that he asked himself if he wants love or money, and to realize he chose money over what we have, it was as if the floor beneath my feet had cracked.
Money clinked louder than love that afternoon in Connecticut!
While money is important to be able to sustain yourself, one should refrain from giving it preference over love. Finding love, cultivating it, and getting to be happy with the love of your life can offer you joy that no amount of money can give.
In a relationship, choosing money over love will indefinitely ruin it. There has to be a balance between how much importance you give to money and love.
While you’ll be able to woo everyone around you with your riches and luxurious goods, no amount of money will ever woo someone into loving you. Love comes from a place that isn’t affected by money. True love is a feeling that develops on its own, it is not concerned with the monetary benefit attached with it.
In a relationship, money is definitely a very important aspect. Being honest with each other about your financial position and expenditures is important if you want to keep the relationship healthy. But by no means is money the most important thing in a relationship. Money is not everything in a relationship and choosing money over love will offer short-term gains and a long-term loss.