One of the most common and prominent thoughts after a breakup is usually, “Will he come back?” This is true even if you were the one who initiated the breakup. And it’s completely natural. Your relationship was a big part of your life and now it’s gone. Wondering if he will come back is a natural part of the grieving process.
If you are wondering whether or not he’ll come back, if you’re wondering, “Do men always come back?” you might want to learn about the clear signs that he will and the little indicators that he might. You might also want to know if it’s a good idea to give him a second chance. In this article, we will take a look at 15 signs that he will come back and what to do if he does.
Will He Come Back? 15 Signs That Indicate He Will And What To Do
There is little in life that leaves us more confused than relationship stuff, particularly breakups. If you were the one who was dumped, you might find yourself questioning your self-worth, you might ask a certain virtual confidante, “When a guy breaks up with you, will he come back?”
If you dumped him, you wonder if you did the right thing, if you should have given him a second chance. Either way, there’s a good chance you’ll be asking yourself the question, “Will he come back?” Or wonder, what makes a man come back after a breakup? If you spot one of these signs, then it’s pretty obvious that he will come back to you.
1. You ended things due to a misunderstanding
Very often, breakups happen due to misunderstandings. No matter how good we are at communicating, breakdowns in communication are bound to happen. And if the fallout is bad enough, we may jump to the conclusion that it wasn’t meant to be.
If this was the case, then you’re not doing yourself a disservice in hoping he will come back. This is because the relationship was good for both of you and he should realize soon enough that the misunderstanding did not call for a breakup. So, if it really was a misunderstanding, then he’ll probably suggest giving it another shot.
Related Reading: If He Loves You He Will Come Back No Matter What!
2. He wasted no time finding someone else
A common response to a breakup is the infamous rebound. Sometimes, it’s a one-night stand; other times, it’s a fling that lasts a few weeks. Either way, if he found someone else immediately after the breakup, it means he’s not ready to be single again.
Now, it could simply mean that he’s not ready to be single again, but it could also mean that he misses you, and this new woman in his life is basically just a stand-in for you. There’s no way to really know for sure but this is one of the most obvious signs he is heartbroken over you.
So, if you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back if I leave him alone?” and then you see him with other women, rest assured that he’s just licking his wounds and will probably come back to you soon enough. It’s highly unlikely that he’s in a new relationship.
3. You’re constantly “bumping into him” around town
If you come across your ex-boyfriend often around town, especially around the places you like to hang out, it’s pretty obvious that he’s trying to rekindle the relationship. If he was genuinely trying to move on, he would make an effort to avoid places he knows you might be at.
He may even be doing it subconsciously but either way, there’s a good chance that he’s hoping to get back together with you. If you’ve ever wondered, “Will he come back after no contact?” wait till you see him at your favorite coffee shop even though he doesn’t really like coffee.
4. He’s still active on your socials
This one’s a bit of a no-brainer. If you intend to break up with someone, the last thing you want is for them to pop up on your social media when you’re scrolling in bed at 3 AM. So, you’d either block them or restrict them so you don’t have to see them. The same is true for guys.
At this point, you may be thinking, “He blocked me will he come back?” If he hasn’t blocked you, it could be a good sign, but it may simply be that he restricted you, so it’s not the best indicator that he wants to get back together with you. However, if he still checks your social media posts or DMs you, then you can be pretty certain that he’s trying to come back.
5. He plays mind games on social media
After a breakup, particularly a messy one, it is common for exes to block each other on social media in the heat of the moment. But if a few days or weeks later, you discover that he’s unblocked you, it’s a good sign that he regrets breaking up with you. Why else would he unblock you? It also indicates that he’s thinking about you.
It bears noting that if his mind games feel like he’s stalking you online, you should block him and immediately report him to the authorities. You’re better off putting your dating life on hold rather than putting yourself through this kind of drama.
6. He drunk-dials (or texts) you quite often
This is another obvious sign that he wants a second chance. If he’s trying to get in touch with you when he’s drunk, it means that he’s been thinking about you when he’s sober, but he’s been using his willpower to refrain from reaching out. A little bit of alcohol can make quick work of that willpower and you wake up one morning with 37 missed calls and 99 texts saying, “You up?”
So, if you’re thinking, “He blocked me will he come back?” you might want to cherish this quiet time before your phone starts going off in the middle of the night.
Related Reading: 17 Signs He Still Loves You After The Breakup
7. He wastes no time responding to your texts or calls
On the other hand, if you reach out to him, he wastes no time in getting back to you. Even if you’re just calling to get some of your stuff back that you left at his place, he may try to steer the conversation towards the idea of a reconciliation. If he genuinely wants to move on, he’ll tell you when to come get your stuff.
Likewise, if you’re calling out of curiosity, to see where he stands in this situation, he’ll deflect if he’s really trying to move on. If not, he’s going to push for a “hangout”, which is a low-key date in his mind. These are subtle signs your ex wants to back. So, if you’re wondering, “Will he come back after a breakup?” just casually drop him a text and see what happens.
8. He’s holding on to the things you left at his place
Now, if you do call him to get your stuff back and he starts to drag his feet in helping you, it could mean that he’s keeping your stuff for its sentimental value. He likes to be reminded of you because he’s not ready to let you go, which means that he would definitely be on board if you changed your mind about the breakup.
So, if you’re wondering, “Will he come back if I leave him alone?” and you haven’t taken back all your stuff from his place yet, this is a great opportunity for you to find out!
9. He’s still in touch with your social circle
After a breakup, people usually avoid their ex and their ex’s social circle. Because if you’re really trying to move on, why would you want to be reminded of your ex? But if your ex-boyfriend is still talking to your friends and family, it could mean that he’s trying to keep a line of communication with you open… “just in case.”
He’s aware of how it would look if he got in touch with you directly or through your social media – desperate, clingy, or needy. This is a way for him to stay in your life without coming on too strong. He’s letting you know that he’s still around in case you want to change your mind. So if you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back after no contact?” maybe ask your friends if they’ve heard from him.
Related Reading: 8 Signs You Are Dating A Needy Man And 5 Things You Can Do About It
10. He remembers the important dates
It’s your first anniversary since the breakup and you’re wondering to yourself, “We had a great relationship will he come back? Does he miss me?” And then you look at your phone and see a text saying something about your would-be anniversary. If he was trying to move on, he wouldn’t have done that. The fact that he did means he’s still interested in you.
If it was your birthday and he sent you a basic “happy birthday” text, it could mean that he just wants to stay friends. But only as long as he’s just wishing you for your birthday. If he asks you about your plans for the day or how things have been going for you, it’s one of the signs he is heartbroken over you.
11. He asks you out in subtle ways
If you’re wondering, “Do guys come back after the slow fade?” there’s no straight answer. Some do, some don’t. But there are signs that can tell you that he’s coming back and some of these signs can be subtle.
For example, if he texts you about a musical act that you both like and says it would be nice to bump into you at the upcoming gig, he’s asking you out. If he shares a new restaurant that he knows you like, he’s asking you out. If he “accidentally” orders food that lands up at your place because he “forgot” to delete your address from his food delivery app… you guessed it, he’s asking you out.
12. He’s depressed and wallowing in self-pity
Depression is a natural part of the grieving process. But if your ex’s depression doesn’t give way to the next phase of the process, it could mean that he isn’t ready to give up on you. But it would be wise to tread carefully in this situation because it could be a tactic to win you back by appealing to your empathy, which is a huge red flag. It could mean that he’s trying to manipulate you and if you go back to him, this might become a never-ending cycle with him. Thanks, Bollywood!
13. He’s not talking about you behind your back
A common reaction to a breakup is to bad-mouth the other person behind their back. But if your ex is not doing this, it could mean that he still has feelings for you. If he didn’t want you in his life, he wouldn’t care enough to refrain from speaking ill of you, right? If you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back after a breakup?” ask some of your ex’s friends if he’s said anything about you. If it’s all good, then he probably still cares about you.
14. He IS talking about you behind your back
But on the other hand, talking about you behind your back might mean he’s angry that it’s over. People say crazy things when they’re angry, things they don’t mean. Such is the male mind during no contact and this could be the case with your ex. However, the question is whether or not you want to be with a guy who is so reactive that he can’t control his tongue when he’s overcome with emotion. Having a dating life might not be worth this kind of trouble.
15. He was a long-distance love
Long-distance relationships are notoriously hard to maintain, especially when it’s hard to meet a la really long-distance relationships. What happens often in these cases is a slow fade rather than an abrupt breakup. So do guys come back after the slow fade?
If the relationship was good while it lasted, chances are very high that he will. After all, there was no messy breakup to make him think twice. There are only old memories that make him feel good. If this isn’t motivation, nothing is.
What To Do When He Comes Back To You
If he does come back to you, you have 3 choices: get back together with him, tell him you’re done, or ignore him. If you can’t decide what to do, here are some tips on how to handle the situation.
1. Get back together with him
If the relationship was good overall and if the red flags are manageable (meaning if he’s genuinely working on them), then getting back together with him might not be such a bad idea. It beats having to go through the dating game again with someone else. Just don’t get back together solely because you’re feeling lonely. One breakup is not the end of your love life.
Related Reading: 12 Tips To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back And Keep Him
2. Tell him you’re done
On the other hand, if the relationship was good but something in your gut tells you that it isn’t right for you, then you might want to tell him how you feel and put an end to it. Telling him that it’s over will help make sure he stops trying to reach out to you and if he’s a reasonable guy, he will take the hint.
3. Ignore him
But what if he’s not a reasonable guy? We covered a few big red flags earlier, namely the stalker and the emotional manipulator. In cases like this, it might help you to tell him that it’s over but there’s a huge chance he won’t listen. It might be safer for you to just ghost him and hope he gets the help he needs. Also, if you do decide to tell a guy like this that it’s over, do so safely, either over the phone or with someone else present. Your safety is way more important than your love life.
- All breakups are inevitably accompanied by a “Does he miss me? Do men always come back?” phase; this is a natural part of the grieving process
- Some positive signs that he might come back are the breakup happened over a simple misunderstanding, it was a long-distance relationship, he remembers the important dates, etc.
- Negative signs include stalking you on social media, emotional blackmail, and drunk-dialing you at all hours of the night
- Based on your gut feeling, you can choose to get back together with him, tell him it’s over, or ghost him (if you don’t feel safe talking to him)
If you’re still confused after reading this article, welcome to the club. Relationships and breakups are probably the most confusing aspects of the human experience and the best you can do is listen to your gut in matters like this.
A man’s mind after a breakup is a complicated thing to unravel. It could take a week, a month, or more for a guy to start missing you after a breakup. The different phases of the post-breakup experience don’t happen in the same order for all guys and in some cases could happen all at once. So, when do guys start to miss you after a breakup? Your guess is as good as anyone else’s.
This is also hard to say with conviction because all guys are different and all relationships are different. It depends on your ex and on the relationship you had with him. Was it a strong relationship or was one of you a rebound? Was it meaningful for one of you but just a fling for the other? Also, if he dumped you, are there some red flags in your behavior that you have to deal with? Many guys do come back even though they initiated the breakup but it’s not a hard and fast rule.