Dealing with heartbreak is not very different from dealing with the loss of a loved one. There is grief, there is mourning, and there is an unshakable feeling of being incomplete. When a relationship ends, you go through the circle of seven stages of grief, even if you are the one who pulled the plug. Jumping from one relationship to the other before you’ve grieved and truly overcome the baggage of the past is what’s commonly known as rebound relationships. Most of us have been in one at some point. But the fact that most people quickly move on from such relationships, begs the question – do rebound relationships work? Let’s find out.
What Is The Success Rate of Rebound Relationships?
While it is true no statistics can accurately predict the future of any relationship, research does offer some insight into human tendencies and behaviours. When you’re fresh out of a relationship, questions such as ‘how often do rebound relationships work?’ or ‘What is the success rate of rebound relationships?’ aren’t unfounded. It is only natural that you’d seek refuge the certainty of statistics and figures to protect your already skinned heart.
However, the statistics on how often do rebound relationships work aren’t encouraging. Research indicates 90% of rebound relationships end within three months. On the other hand, there is also research to support the argument that rebounds help people get over a breakup sooner than those who deal with heartbreak all alone.
Like with any other aspect of human interactions and relationships, the answer to do rebound relationships work is also complex and multi-faceted. Let’s see when do rebound relationships work and when do they not.
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When Do Rebound Relationships Work
Your heart is broken. You miss your ex and along comes this gorgeous person who wants to give you attention. The saying ‘the best way to get over somebody is to get with someone else!’ is ringing in your head. You, my friend, are about to rebound and rebound hard.
But do rebound relationships ever work? While there’s enough evidence to support that rebound relationships crash and burn like doomed spaceships, is there any evidence otherwise? Turns out there is:
1. You find support to deal with heartbreak
While no researcher will be able to tell you with precision how long do rebound relationships last on average, there’s new research in the field of psychology that states that rebounds might be healthy. These relationships, even if fleeting, can become a source of strength and comfort in a difficult time. They can help you get over your ex by boosting your self-esteem and reassuring you about the possibility of finding love again. Do rebound relationships help you move on? They most certainly can.
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2. They bring you the comfort of intimacy
One of the things that people miss the most about being in relationships is physical intimacy. Having had someone to hold close and call yours, being alone can be hard. What usually happens in a rebound relationship is that void is filled. While you may not want to label the relationship yet, you do get someone who will hold you. That is a wonderful feeling, especially when you’re still dealing with the loss of the breakup.
3. You find a partner in coping
Even though you should treat your rebound as your therapist, having someone you can share your feelings with definitely helps. Also unless it’s their first relationship (ouch!), your partner will have insight into the post-breakup feelings and can support you when necessary.
4. You become invested in the relationship
It may be rare but rebound relationships can work out in the long-term. That happens only when you become emotionally invested in the new partner and relationship. Do rebounds make you miss your ex more? If the answer to that question is no, then you have the first key ingredient of making the rebound successful. Slowly but surely, you can buildup a strong, lasting relationship on this foundation.
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When Do Rebound Relationships Not Work
Rebound relationships exist for a reason, and for them to serve to their purpose, they must be handled in the right spirit and manner. When that delicate balance goes out of the window, so does the possibility of rebounds working out as they’re intended to. Here are some scenarios where rebound relationships do not work:
1. You’re not being fair
Being with someone can be wonderful. It can heal you and make you feel whole again, but only if that’s what you want. Do rebounds make you miss your ex more? A majority of people answer that question in the affirmative. That is a sign that you’re still in love with your ex and don’t want to be over them. In this situation, you’re being unfair to yourself and your new partner. Needless to say, this will lead to a host of issues that your rebound relationship will not be able to weather.
2. You’re projecting past issues
Do rebound relationships help you move on? Well, not if you’re entering a new relationship loaded with the baggage of your past and can’t help projecting your issues with your ex on your current partner. Similarities between the two relationships that bother you can’t be resolved instantly. For a rebound relationship to work out, you have to free yourself from the clutches of your past.
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3. You’re not taking things slow
You break up, you find a new partner, you start dating, you commit, you’re now exclusive, you’re thinking about the future… If a rebound relationship progresses at such dizzying speeds, it is bound to crash and burn at some point. When you move quickly from one relationship to another, the baggage spills over. That what usually happens in a rebound relationship that is doomed to fail. Even if you get into a rebound relationship, take the time to resolve your past feelings and prepare for a future before taking any unsustainable leaps.
4. You’re looking for a replacement
A rebound relationship is doomed to fail if you’re seeking a replacement for your ex rather than a partner to embark on a new journey with. If you’re always comparing your current relationship to your last one, your present partner to your ex and checking boxes where one fare better than the other, you’re not ready to move on and the rebound will be shortlived.
Some rebounds are brief and fleeting, some may give you your longest, most sturdy relationships. So, don’t get too caught up in questions like what is the success rate of rebound relationships. Love works in mysterious ways.