Once you start missing an old flame, each day starts to seem longer and harder. You start yearning for their company and their presence in your life again. How to get back with an ex when the loneliness starts hitting becomes your sole concern at that moment.
Not every ex is a horrible, evil person that you must completely shun from your life. Some just need to take a sabbatical from your life only to make things much happier when they are back in your life again!
You might be wondering, what percent of exes get back together? A study conducted by the University of Texas determined that about 65% of US college students had broken up only to get back together again. ‘Lingering feelings’ was considered a primary reason in this study. According to another research, nearly 50% of adult couples break up and then get back together.
So, it’s safe to say that true love and feelings do in a way trump all other issues!
How To Get Back With An Ex – 13 Ways To Do It Right
Is it ever a good idea to get back with an ex? It can be! Even though you both might have made a firm decision to break up, it does not mean you should not get back together at some point. Some situations call for a good amount of time apart to process things better. If after that time the love persists, it can be a good idea to get back with your ex.
But getting back with an ex when he has moved on can be really difficult. It is not always easy to reignite the same old spark. In such a case, you have to be careful, honest, and persistent with your efforts. Here are 13 ways to help you get back with an ex:
1. Show them how much you miss them
If an ex that has feelings for you wants to get back with you, he or she will only do so when they know that you are equally missing them as well. If you breeze in there with a casual conversation, chances are that they will think you only want them because you are lonely or bored.
Can exes fall back in love? They sure can. Once the period of dormancy and time apart has faded, you can show them how much you care and miss them so they will know how much you love them.
2. Give them their space to think
How to get ex back is not about smothering them with affection until they suffocate and run away even farther. Sometimes, they need to compartmentalize and organize their feelings to understand whether they want you back or not.
One of the stages of getting back together with an ex is enabling them to think clearly by giving them some space. It does not guarantee that they will come back but it sure will help them make an intelligent decision.
Related Reading: How Much Space In A Relationship Is Normal? Balance Is Key!
3. Talk about the old issues
Getting your ex back does not mean hurling abuses and getting rid of old frustrations. It is about allowing a rational discourse and having heavy conversations. To do this, you have to be very understanding and receptive.
The old issues are the reasons you broke up in the first place. It will not be easy to talk about them objectively. However, conflict resolution requires you to throw away everything that offends you and do everything you can to solve the problem.
4. Don’t try to make them jealous
Flashing pictures with a new partner or telling them all about your other dates is going to more harm than good. A lot of people suppose that jealousy is a road that will lead their ex right back to them.
None of the getting back together with ex success stories talk about this approach as an impetus. Steer away from any of these negative tactics because it will only propel your ex to be further annoyed with you.
5. Be a changed person
To get your ex back after a year or so, you have to show them that you are a changed and evolved person. If they feel that your old problematic tendencies such as being immature or insecure are still intact, it can impede their desire to gravitate toward you again.
How to get back with an ex requires you to also make a lot of changes within yourself. They want to see a healthy amount of emotional growth in you before starting a new relationship. Being a better person for them is the sure-shot way to win your ex back.
6. Remind them why you’re compatible
To get your ex back when he is the one who broke up with you can be incredibly tricky. In such cases, most of them are not willing to get back together. To show them that you are worth it, you have to remind them of all the things that make you two a great couple.
Even if it is just talking about how good you two are together when playing board games, you must mention these instances to them. Such things will remind them that this relationship is worth saving.
7. Be clear about why you want them back
When you want to get an ex back, you have to be honest with yourself about why you want them back. You should make sure that you are not just craving them because you are bored and need someone around to keep you company. This will lead to an unhealthy relationship.
With such half-hearted intentions, you will never be able to convince them to come back to you. Moreover, it will be unfair to you both to try to revive a relationship for such fickle reasons.
8. Tell them that they can trust you
Trust is the key foundational stone for any successful relationship. We can only completely allow ourselves to love someone if we trust them and allow them to fall back on us too. Without trust, there is no chance of making things work.
Even if you are trying to get your ex back over text, simply saying ‘I’ll be here for you always and you can always trust me’ can make a lot of difference.
9. Put yourself in their shoes
How to get back with an ex is not just about what you want. Your ex is an equal partner in this relationship. They may have been as hurt as you were by the breakup. As a result, it may not be easy for them to decide on getting back with you in a jiffy. Seeing things from their perspective can give you clarity on their reasons behind stalling or taking things slow.
It is likely to be a long-drawn process with a lot of different emotions in the mix. Perhaps relationship counseling can help in this process. You must not charge at your ex with full force to fix things. Give them time but don’t let up on the effort.
10. Show them that you are willing to put in the work
To get your ex-boyfriend to want you back, you must clearly exhibit that you are willing to do things differently this time. Tell them all the changes you are willing to make or the things that you are willing to work upon. You must show them that you love them!
Moreover, you must actually do those things instead of just saying them frivolously. For example, show them that you want to put more time into them and give them more attention this time. Your commitment to make this work can play a big role in making them count on you again.
11. Be ready to make more sacrifices
Since things have already been strain between you two, you will have to take a more proactive approach to repair this damage. That includes the willingness to make greater sacrifices to make them happier. This is an important way to save a relationship.
To show your commitment, you might have to toe the line much more this time around. Ask yourself is that something you’re prepared for? If and only if, the answer is yes should you take the leap of getting back together with an ex.
Related Reading: Sacrificing In A Relationship – When, What And How Much?
12. Allow yourself to forgive
How to get back with an ex is not about bringing up your past problems and forcing them to apologize. It is about forgiving them for all that has ensued and starting afresh. Forgiveness in relationships is absolutely necessary. It may seem difficult at first to forget about all the hurt that has been caused to you.
However, talking about ugly things over and over will only make things uglier. You must be ready to work and solve the problems instead of playing blame games to ease the bruises on your heart.
13. Know that things will be different this time
Is it awkward getting back with an ex? Well, even if things normalize over time, you have to be prepared for some awkwardness during those initial days of your relationship 2.0. Know that things will not be the same as they were before. It is not fair to expect them to be just as they were and run back into your arms.
Making peace with your past is not easy. It will take time to take things back up to that same level again and you must help them get there instead of giving up. Put in the time and work and just be patient.
According to recent research, nearly 50% of adult couples break up and then get back together.
If there are lingering feelings and you have enjoyed enough space apart to re-evaluate your actions, it can be good to try again.
Not necessarily. It might be in the beginning because things are slightly different this time around. But if the old love remains, it should not be very much different or awkward.
For sure! Sometimes, a couple just needs to spend time apart to realize what they truly miss and work on it much better the next time. If your ex is the same person you missed, you can fall back in love.
There are no rules as such. Just keep your head held high, your respect at utmost priority, and be receptive to the other person’s needs.