Taganizirani izi: Mkazi wanu sasamala za zofuna zanu. Amakukakamizani kuti muwonere makanema, kudya, kapena kupita kokayenda, zonse pakufuna kwake komanso malinga ndi kukoma kwake. Sakulolani kuti mukumane ndi anzanu ndipo nthawi zambiri amakusekani pagulu. Pepani kukuswelani mzanga, koma mwina mukuchita ndi mkazi wopanda ulemu.
Kusunga unansi wabwino ndi wachimwemwe pambuyo pa ukwati si nkhani yachabechabe. Nthawi zambiri, maanja amayamba kutengerana mosasamala akakhala okhazikika komanso omasuka muubwenzi. Koma ngati m’kachitidwe kameneka, okwatirana ataya ulemu kwa wina ndi mnzake, kungakhale kovuta kuti ubwenziwo upitirizebe.
Choncho, muyenera kuyimirira ndikutsutsa mkazi wanu, nthawi yomwe mukuyamba kuona zizindikiro zomwe samakulemekezani. Kudandaula kulikonse, mawu achipongwe, ndi zithunzi zilizonse zomwe angakufotokozereni sizingangosokoneza kudzidalira kwanu komanso kuwononga mphamvu ya banja lanu. Zikatero, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa momwe mungachitire ndi mkazi wopanda ulemu komanso kudziteteza (ndipo mwinanso banja lanu, ngati nkhani sizikukulirakulira). Kuti zimenezi zitheke, tiyeni tione zizindikiro zimene mkazi wanu amakunyozerani komanso malangizo angapo a mmene mungachitire ndi vutolo.
Kodi Mkazi Wopanda Ulemu Ndi Ndani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Musanayambe kuchita zinthu ndi mkazi wopanda ulemu, muyenera kudziwa mmene mungam’dziwire. M’banja, aliyense angakhumudwitse mnzake, ngakhale mosadziŵa. Chomwe tikutanthauza ndichakuti chifukwa choti ananena kuti mwanenepa kapena kuchita nthabwala za inu paphwando, sizitanthauza kuti amafuna kukunyozetsani.
Kuti tinene kuti ndife opanda ulemu, payenera kukhala khalidwe loipa. Akazi akapanda kulemekeza amuna awo, amakhala odzikonda mu ubale wawo ndi kunyalanyaza zofuna za mnzawo, zofuna, ndi maganizo awo. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, amasonyeza kuti palibe ulemu pa kudzidalira kwanu.
A Reddit wosuta akugawana chokumana nacho chake cha kuchita ndi mkazi wosalemekeza: “M’maŵa uno, pamene tinali kukonzekera kupita kuntchito, mkazi wanga anafuna kubwereka zinthu zanga zingapo.” Ndinamlola koma ndinazindikira pambuyo pa mphindi zoŵerengeka kuti chimodzi cha zinthuzo chinali chinachake chimene ine ndinachifunikira tsiku limenelo.
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Iye anakana ndipo anakana, anakwiya, ndipo anaganiza zosandibwereka chilichonse.” Mawu ake anamveka kwa ine pamene ankasonyeza kukhumudwa kwake kuti sindingamulole kuti agwiritse ntchito chimodzi mwa zinthu zanga zimene ankafuna. Tsopano popeza mwadziwa mmene mkazi amene amanyozera mwamuna wake amaonekera, tiyeni tione zizindikiro zimene zimasonyeza kuti amakuganizirani pang’ono.
15 Zizindikiro za Mkazi Wanu Sakulemekezani
Akazi amakonda kunyozetsa amuna akamadziwa kuti sangawalepheretse ndipo mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo sangadziyimire okha. Zinthu zitha kukhala zovuta kwambiri ngati mwamuna ali ndi vuto mkazi wonyenga, amakonda kusewera masewera amalingaliro kuti apeze njira yake. Chimene muyenera kuchita m’mikhalidwe yoteroyo ndicho kukankhira m’mbuyo panthaŵi yoyenera, kuika malire, kutsimikizira kuti sakuwolokera, ndiyeno n’kutchula khalidwe lake lopanda ulemu.
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Komabe, ngati simukudziwa zizindikiro za kutaya ulemu m’chibwenzicho, simungathe kuthandiza mkazi wanu kukhala bwino kapena kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu. Izi ndi zomwe a Reddit wosuta anayenera kunena za zizindikiro zimene anaona pamene anali kuchita ndi mkazi wosalemekeza: “Atandikwiyira amandivula mphete yaukwati, amamatirira ana pa ine.
Izi ndi zizindikiro zoonekeratu za kusalemekezana m’banja. Tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro zina 15 ngati mkazi wanu samakulemekezani:
1. Amakunyozani kapena kukunyozani
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwikiratu kuti mkazi wanu sakulemekezani ndi chakuti amakusankhani pamaso pa ena ndi kusangalala ndi ndalama zanu. Zoonadi, jibe kapena nthabwala zapanthawi zina pamtengo wanu zitha kulekerera, ngakhale simukuyamikira. Komabe, samalani ndi mbendera zofiira izi:
- Nthawi zambiri amakusekani pamaso pa anzake kapena achibale ake
- Amagwiritsa ntchito mikangano yanu yamseri kukuchititsani manyazi pamaso pa anthu
Mawu achipongwe angawononge kwambiri munthu Thanzi labwino. Pankhani imeneyi, katswiri wa zamaganizo Neha Anand anati, mawu otukwana akhoza “…kungotengeka ndi nthabwala zachinyengo.” Mosiyana ndi nkhanza zakuthupi, sizimasiya zilonda zooneka kapena zothyoka mafupa, koma zimakhala zozunzika kwambiri ndiponso zozunzika mofananamo. Kupanda ulemu kwa mkazi wanu koteroko kumafooketsanso maganizo. Mutha kukhumudwa ngakhale kudzipatula chifukwa cha izi.
2. Amakhala ndi madandaulo nthawi zonse
Kodi nthawi zambiri mumaona kuti, mosasamala kanthu za zimene mukuchita, mkazi wanu amaoneka kuti sakukhutira kapena sakusangalala? Anu mkazi nthawi zambiri amakuvutitsani kukhala munthu wabwino ndikudandaula ndi zinthu zomwe siziyenera kukhala zofunika kwenikweni. Mwachitsanzo,
- Sakukhutira ndi phukusi lanu la malipiro
- Amatsutsa momwe mumawonekera
- Sakusangalala ndi anzanu omwe muli nawo
Zimakhala ngati palibe chimene mukuchita chomwe chili chabwino kwa iye. Izi ndizizindikiro za mkazi wopanda ulemu.
3. Sakumverani
Ngati mkazi wanu wasiya kukulemekezani, n’kutheka kuti sangakhalenso aulemu kukumvetserani. Zikatero, mkazi amene salemekeza mwamuna wake:
- Angapereke zifukwa zopewera kulankhula naye
- Akhoza kumuwombera mwamuna wake kapena kumupatsa kuchitira chete kwa masiku, milungu, ngakhale miyezi
- Zingaoneke ngati zododometsa mwamuna wake akafuna kulankhula naye ndipo sangafune kumva za kupambana kwake kapena mavuto ake.
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4. Amapewa udindo wake
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mkazi wosalemekeza ndicho kusachita khama kugawana ntchito zapakhomo. Kumbukirani, ngati anthu aŵiri sagawana mofanana pa ntchito zapakhomo ndi mathayo ena, ukwati ukhoza kukhala wovuta!
Stuart, yemwe ndinkagwira naye ntchito nayenso anakumana ndi vuto ngati limeneli ndipo nthawi ina anandifunsa mokhumudwa kuti, “Mkazi wanga sandilemekeza, kodi ndimusudzule? Mkazi wa Stuart sanangolephera kutengera amayi ake odwala kwa dokotala pamene anali paulendo komanso adapanga sewero lalikulu pamene adafunsidwa za njira zake zonyalanyaza. Kotero, inu mukuona, mkazi amene salemekeza mwamuna wake sangakhale a bwenzi la moyo moona mtima.
5. Amakubisirani zinsinsi
Chizindikiro chinanso chodziwikiratu kuti mkazi wanu sakulemekezani ndi kukubisirani zinthu zazikulu ndi zazing'ono. M’banja, okwatirana onse aŵiri ayenera kudziŵana za moyo wa wina ndi mnzake ndipo amayembekezeredwa kufotokoza maloto ndi zolephera zawo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Komabe, ngati mkazi wanu amakubisirani zinsinsi za moyo wake waumwini ndipo mutadziwa za iwo kuchokera kwa wina, musanyalanyaze mbendera yofiira iyi. Njira zake zobisika ndi imodzi mwa njira zazikulu zizindikiro za kupanda ulemu mu ubale wanu.
6. Amakonda kukopana ndi ena pamaso panu
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za kupanda ulemu ndi pamene kukwatiwa sikumamulepheretsa kukopana ndi ena. Nthawi zina, pamaso panu. Izi zikutanthauza kuti maganizo anu alibenso ntchito kwa iye. Pamene chotero kukopana kumakhala kosayenera ndipo mkazi wanu mopanda manyazi amasonyeza chidwi chake mwa amuna ena, kungakhale kwachipongwe kwambiri kwa inu. Chifukwa chake, atha kukhala akukopana ndi woperekera zakudyayo ali ndi inu usiku kapena ndi m'modzi wa ogwira nawo ntchito paphwando laofesi. Izi zingakulepheretseni kudzifunsa kuti, “Mkazi wanga sakundilemekeza, kodi ndimusiye?”

7. Iye salinso dongosolo lanu lothandizira
Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi munthu amene ayenera kuyima pambali panu ndikukhala thanthwe lanu, zivute zitani. Komabe, ngati sakukuthandizani kapena kukuthandizani panthawi yamavuto, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwikiratu kuti mkazi wanu samakulemekezani. Kukunyozani, kukunyozani, kukunyozani kungapitirirebe mosalekeza, mosasamala kanthu za zomwe mukukumana nazo. Ngati mukuyang'ana zizindikiro zomveka mkazi wanu samakulemekezani ndipo zimakutengerani mopepuka, dzifunseni ngati mungakhale osatetezeka pamaso pake. Lankhulani za kulephera kwaposachedwa ndikuwona ngati akukutonthozani kapena kukunyozani.
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8. Amakhala kutali
Mkazi wanu akayamba kunyalanyaza zofuna zanu zakugonana, mwina wayamba kukusalemekezani monga munthu. Zikatero, mutha kupeza kuti mwakhazikika mu a ukwati wopanda kugonana ndipo komabe kukhala naye pamtima. Mnzanga, Kevin, anakumananso ndi vuto ngati limeneli pamene mkazi wake sanamulole n’komwe kumukumbatira kapena kumupsompsona. Ndipo nthawi iliyonse akayamba kugonana, mwina amadwala mutu kapena kugona. Pambuyo pake anazindikira kuti analibe ulemu wotsalira pa zosowa zake zakuthupi.
9. Safuna kunyengerera
Ubale uliwonse wanthawi yayitali umafuna kulolerana ndi kusintha kuchokera kwa onse awiri. Komabe, kwa mkazi amene salemekeza mwamuna wake, kusiya kaimidwe kake kapena kupeza njira yapakati yothetsera mikangano sikungakhale kotheka. Nthawi zonse ndi 'njira yanga kapena msewu wawukulu' kwa iye. Zikatero, kutha kwa ubale akhoza kukhala pakona. Ichinso ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu za kupanda ulemu m’banja.
Mwachitsanzo, mnansi wanga, Helen, sanafune kusintha kagwiritsidwe ntchito ka ndalama pamene banjalo linali m’mavuto a zachuma. Ankadyabe m’malesitilanti okwera mtengo n’kumagula zovala zodziwika bwino. Koma ankayembekezera kuti mwamuna wake, Calvin, asiye kuchita nawo masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi kuwononga ndalama zambiri pa zovala ndi kudzikongoletsa.
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10. Simulinso patsogolo kwa iye
Msuweni wanga, Logan, anasweka mtima pamene mkazi wake, Ashley, anaganiza zonyamuka paulendo ndi kagulu kake ka atsikana patsiku lomwe anabwerera kwawo kuchokera ku ulendo wantchito wa milungu itatu. Ndipo izonso, pa chikumbutso chawo. Pamene analankhula za kuipidwa kwake kwa Ashley, iye anayankha mwa kunena kuti wayiwala za tsiku lokumbukira tsikulo ndi kuti ulendowo unalipiridwa kale.
Eya, ichi ndi chochitika pamene mwamunayo anali atatsika kwambiri pa mndandanda wa zinthu zofunika kwambiri kwa mkazi kotero kuti chimwemwe chake sichinali chofunika kwa iye. Mwachionekere, ake zosowa zamaganizo mu chiyanjano nthawi zonse anali kunyalanyazidwa, kunyalanyazidwa, ndipo ngakhale mwadala kusiyidwa osakwaniritsidwa. Izi zinali, mwa kuyankhula kwina, nkhani ya kuzunzidwa maganizo. Ngati zimenezi n’zimene mungagwirizane nazo, n’zosavuta kukayikira kuti mkazi wanu sakulemekezani ndiponso kuti zimene mumafuna zilibe phindu kwa iye.
11. Amakupeputsa nthawi zonse
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kupanda ulemu m’banja ndi pamene iye atsimikiza mtima kukufooketsani m’njira iliyonse. Nazi zochitika ngati izi:
- Mumamupempha kuti asakambirane zachinsinsi chanu pagulu, dziwani kuti ndi momwe adzachitire tsiku lotsatira.
- Mumauza ana kuti atsirize chakudya chawo kapena akonzekere kugona, ndipo iye adzakulamulirani ndi kuwalola kuti achite momwe angafunire.
Potsirizira pake, idzafika poti simudzakhala ndi mawu m'nyumba mwanu. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mkazi wosalemekeza.
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12. Amakunyozetsani pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti
Mkazi wanu ndi wopanda ulemu ngati sakuwonetsani ulemu pazama media. Masiku ano, pamene malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amakhudza maubwenzi athu mochuluka, kunyozeka kwamtundu uliwonse pamapulatifomu a pa intaneti kumakhala kuzunzidwa kapena kusalemekeza. Choncho, akhoza:
- Sewerani pagulu ndi ena pa Facebook kapena Instagram
- Tumizani ma jibe kapena mawu achindunji pankhani zanu, zomwe zimakupangitsani kuwoneka ngati woipa
- Gwirizanani manja ndi anzanu kuti akunyozeni pa intaneti
13. Amayerekezera nthawi zambiri
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zowawa kusowa ulemu m’banja mungakhale kufananitsa kosalekeza, kukupangitsani kukhala pansi pa miyezo yongolingalira ndi kukupangitsani kudzimva kukhala wopanda pake. Kotero, iye akhoza kukhala:
- Kukuyerekezani ndi zibwenzi zake zakale: Izi zitha kukhala zokhudzana ndi mawonekedwe, ntchito, kapena machitidwe ogonana
- Kuyerekeza ubale wanu ndi abwenzi ake: Izi zingaphatikizepo kuyerekezera za udindo kapena ana, mwachitsanzo, kaya ana awo amapita kusukulu zabwino kwambiri kuposa zanu kapena amapita kutchuthi chodula kwambiri.
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14. Amapanga ndalama kukhala nkhani yaikulu m’mikangano
Nthawi zambiri, mu ubale, ndalama zimatha kukhala zosokoneza. Nkhani zandalama, monga ngati mnzawo wina amapeza ndalama zambiri kuposa mnzake, zingayambitse mikangano yaikulu. Ndipo ndalama zingapangitsenso kupanda ulemu. Samalani ndi zizindikiro izi mukamadzifunsa ngati mkazi wanu sakukulemekezani:
- Amakunyozani chifukwa chopeza ndalama zochepa
- Amagula zinthu zodula kwambiri pogwiritsa ntchito kirediti kadi yanu koma samakuuzani za izo mpaka mutamufunsa
- Sawulula ndalama zazikulu zomwe amawononga, monga zolembetsa zokwera mtengo za gym kapena kugula zinthu zapamwamba
15. Iye samasamala za malire anu
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti sakulemekezani ndi pamene mukuona kuti mulibe malire abwino. Choncho, muzochitika zotere, akhoza kukhala:
- Itanani abwenzi ake popanda kukufunsani ngati muli bwino nazo
- Lowani m'chipinda chanu ndikuyatsa TV mukagona kapena mukugwira ntchito pa laputopu yanu
- Konzani chakudya chomwe wasankha osafunsa zomwe mukufuna kukhala nazo
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N'chifukwa Chiyani Mkazi Wanga Sandilemekeza?
Tsopano popeza mwaona mmene mkazi wosalemekeza mwamuna wake amachitira, ndi nthawi yoti muganizire chimene chimayambitsa kunyozedwa kumeneko n’kumene kudzakutengerani sitepe limodzi kuti mumvetsetse mmene mungayendere ku banja. ubale wabwino. Pokhapokha mutamvetsetsa kumene mkwiyo wake wonse ukuchokera, m’pamene mudzatha kuika maganizo anu onse pa kuchotsa vutolo muzu wake. Ngati mafunso kapena nkhawa monga "N'chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga amandichitira nkhanza?" kapena “Sindikumvetsa chifukwa chake ndili ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wopanda ulemu” zakhala zikukudetsani nkhawa, mungafune kuganizira zifukwa zotsatirazi:
1. Sakukondwera ndi vuto lanu lazachuma
Nthawi zambiri, akazi salemekeza amuna awo chifukwa cha mkwiyo wokhudzana ndi ndalama. Zikatero:
- Mwina sakukhutira ndi mmene mulili ndi ndalama
- Angafune kuti muzilakalaka kwambiri
- Angafune kuti muchepetse ndalama zosafunika
- Angafune kuti muziganizira kwambiri za ndalama zamtsogolo zogulira galimoto kapena nyumba
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2. Sali okondwa ndi moyo wanu wogonana
Chifukwa chofala chopangitsa mkazi kukhala wopanda ulemu nchakuti wafufuza kale m'banja chifukwa cha moyo woipa wa kugonana. Ngati simumkondweretsa ali pabedi monga momwe munachitira poyamba, mwachibadwa adzakhala wopanda ulemu, popeza ali m’banja limene sakhutira nalo. kukhala ndi chibwenzi, pa zonse zomwe mukudziwa.
3. Simukumulemekeza
Mwamuna wosalemekeza mkazi mwachibadwa adzabala mkazi wopanda ulemu. Ngati mwakhala mukudzifunsa mafunso monga akuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga amandichitira nkhanza chonchi?” Mwinanso mungafunike kufotokoza pang’ono za khalidwe lanu. Yesani ndikuyankha mafunso monga:
- Kodi mumachitira mwano mnzanu mwanjira iliyonse?
- Kodi ankaona kuti ndiwe wamwano kwa iye ngakhale pamene sunali kumuchitira mwano?
Nthawi zina, ndiwe vuto mu ubale wanu. Komabe, sitepe yoyamba ya kuchira ndiyo kuvomereza zinthu zovuta zoterozo.
4. Ali ndi nkhani zomwe sizinathe
Ngati akulimbana ndi ziwanda zake ndipo thanzi lake lamalingaliro liri pamavuto chifukwa cha zovuta zomwe sizinathe. kukhumudwa kwa ubale wakale, akhoza kukukwiyitsani chifukwa chopanda ulemu. Mwachitsanzo, munthu wosatetezeka nthawi zambiri amatengera kusatetezeka kwawo kwa wokondedwa wake, zomwe zimawapangitsa kumva kuti akutopa. Kotero, ndi zotheka kuti:
- Makolo ake ankamuchititsa kudziona ngati wosatetezeka paubwana wake
- Ananyozedwa kapena kumenyedwa ndi mnzake wakale
- Atha kukhala kuti adadwala matenda amisala chifukwa chozunzidwa ndi munthu wina kupatula makolo ake kapena mnzake wakale
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5. Zosoŵa zake zamaganizo sizikukwaniritsidwa
Chifukwa chimodzi chomwe amakunyozerani chingakhale chifukwa chakuti zosowa zake zamaganizo sizikukwaniritsidwa. Chifukwa chake, mwina mudakhalapo wopanda chidwi komanso wosamuyankha pomwe amakufunani kwambiri. Munthawi zovuta kwambiri m'moyo, phewa lolirira ndi lomwe munthu amafuna kwambiri. Ndipo mwamuna amene salemekeza mkazi wake sangayembekezere kuti am’kondenso pokhapokha atakonza njira zake.
Njira 7 Zothana Ndi Mkazi Wopanda Ulemu
Mukudabwa kuti mkazi wanu angakulemekezeni bwanji? Kodi mungathedi kupulumutsa banja losweka pamene mkazi salemekeza mwamuna wake? Kugwira mkazi wosalemekeza kungakhale kovuta. Ndiponsotu, kusankha pakati pa ukwati wanu ndi kudzilemekeza sikophweka. Komabe, siziyenera kukhala chilichonse-kapena mkhalidwe. Mwina mungatengepo kanthu kuti muchiritsidwe monga okwatirana. Tikukhulupirira kuti mukupita patsogolo ndi njira 7 izi:
1. Osakhumudwa
Ngati nthawi zonse mumadziuza kuti, "Mkazi wanga ndi wopanda ulemu ndipo zimandikwiyitsa mpaka kalekale", timakumverani. Mukuwona, ngakhale mkazi wako amalankhula mwachipongwe kapena amachita mwano ndi inu nthawi zambiri, muyenera kukumbukira kuti ndi malingaliro anu okha omwe mungathe kuwongolera, osati zake.
Chifukwa chake, yesetsani kuyesetsa kuti musakhumudwe kapena kubweza mwa kukalipira. Kuchita zinthu moyipa kumangopangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale wovuta ndikuyambitsa mavuto ambiri. Choncho, m'malo mwake, yesetsani kudziletsa ndikukhala ndi chogwirira pamalingaliro anu pamene iye akuthamanga. Ichi ndi sitepe yoyamba kuchita ndi mkazi wosalemekeza.
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2. Lumikizanani
Njira yokhayo yofikira kumapeto kwa kachitidwe kachitidwe kameneka ndi kudzera mwa ogwira mtima komanso kulankhulana momasuka. Nazi zomwe mungachite:
- Yandikirani kwa iye ndi malingaliro oyenera, mwabata
- Sankhani nthawi ndi malo oyenera kukambirana ndi mkazi wanu za khalidwe lake. Onetsetsani kuti zoikamo zilibe zosokoneza
- Khalani ndi zokambirana zomasuka, popanda masewera olakwa
- Gwiritsani ntchito maluso ena othetsa mikangano. Mufunseni chomwe chalakwika ndipo muthandizeni kuti amuthandize kusintha khalidwe lake lamwano kwa inu
Dziwani kuti ndi zinthu ziti zomwe sizinathetsedwe paubwenzi kapena mkwiyo zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti azichita mwanjira imeneyi. Onetsetsani kuti si inu amene mukumupangitsa kuti azichita zinthu motere.
3. Mpatseni malo oyenera komanso nthawi yake
Mpatseni nthawi yokwanira, kuti athe kulingalira za malingaliro anu m'malo opanda zosokoneza. Izi zidzamuwonetsanso momwe mumalemekeza zosowa zake ndi zofuna zake. Kapena kuti mutha kuzindikira momwe akumvera ndikuyankha bwino. Malo mu maubwenzi zingakuthandizenidi kusintha izi kukhala zopambana.
4. Uzani mnzanu/m'bale wanu zakukhosi kwanu kapena funsani uphungu
Mungafike pamlingo wina pamene kusalemekeza mkazi wanu kungayambe kuwononga thanzi lanu la maganizo ndi ukwati wanu. Mungadandaule kuti, “Mkazi wanga ndi wopanda ulemu ndipo sindidziŵa mmene ndingapulumutsire ukwati wanga.
Chabwino, muzochitika zotere, ingakhale nthawi yopempha thandizo lakunja. Uzani mnzanu wapamtima/m'bale wanu zakukhosi kwanu amene mumamukhulupirira kuti angakupatseni malangizo abwino komanso odalirika okuthandizani kuyamba moyo watsopano kapena kukonza banja lanu. Lingaliro la munthu woulula zakukhosi wodalirika lingakupatseni lingaliro latsopano la mmene mungachitire ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wopanda ulemu.
Uphungu wa maanja kapena maanja mankhwala ndi njira ina yopulumutsira ukwati wanu ndi kuthetsa kusiyana. Mlangizi wodziwa bwino za mabanja akhoza kukuthandizani ndi upangiri wa akatswiri ndikukuthandizani kuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zimabwera chifukwa cha izi. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, Upangiri wa upangiri wa Bonobology zangodinanso.
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5. Khalani okonzeka kupitiriza
Ngati simukumvetsabe mmene mungachitire ndi mkazi wopanda ulemu, kumbukirani, pamene mukuyesetsa kukonza njira ndi mkazi amene sakuyamikirani, muyenera kudziwa ngati angayambenso kukulemekezani kapena ngati ubale ndi wofunika kupulumutsa. Koma ngati palibe chomwe chidzachitike, onetsetsani kuti si inu amene muli ndi vuto, ndipo khalani okonzeka kupitiriza ndikuyamba mutu watsopano. Kumbukirani kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wosalemekeza sangakusangalatseni.
6. Ikani malire omveka bwino
Kuti muthane ndi mkazi amene sakulemekezani, muyenera kulimba mtima kuti mukwaniritse malire anu. Chifukwa chake, siyani kulola kuti mawu achipongwe kapena amwano asinthe ndikuyamba kukhala wodzidalira ndikuwongolera. Neha akuti, “Kukhala wotsimikiza kumatanthauzanso kukana kuchita nawo zinthu zosapindulitsa mkangano wa ubale, n’zimene anthu ambiri otukwana amatengera.” Nazi zomwe mungachite:
- Adziwitseni kuti ndemanga kapena nthabwala zina siziyenera kunenedwa pagulu
- Onetsetsani kuti mwawauza kuti asalankhule ndi ena pafoni kapena kuyatsa TV pamene mukugwira ntchito m’chipinda chanu
- Adziwitseni kuti mkwiyo ndi ego nkhani ziyenera kuthetsedwa osati kupitilira tsiku lotsatira
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7. Osatengera kusalemekezana
Kumbukirani, ndi udindo wanu kuti mukhale ndi maganizo abwino. Nthawi zonse mkazi wanu akamakukhumudwitsani komanso kukunyozetsani, n’kwachibadwa kugwera mumsampha wodziimba mlandu n’kuyamba kuvutika. kudziyang'anira pansi. Choncho, musaiwale za kusalemekeza kapena kuchita negativity. Nazi zomwe mungachite m'malo mwake:
- Limbikitsani kusokoneza malingaliro anu
- Khalani ndi nthawi yochita zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika
- Sinkhasinkhani kapena sungani buku lomwe limakuthandizani kugwirizanitsa malingaliro anu abwino
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Kudzudzula mwa apo ndi apo kapena ndemanga zolimbikitsa sizitanthauza kuti muli ndi mkazi amene amakunyozetsani
- Zizindikilo zina za mkazi amene salemekeza mwamuna wake ndi kunyozedwa kapena kutukwana, kudandaula nthawi zonse, ndi kukopana ndi ena.
- Zifukwa zomwe amakunyozerani zingaphatikizepo khalidwe lanu lopanda ulemu kwa iye, zowawa zake zakale, kapena kusakhutira kwake ndi mkhalidwe wanu wachuma.
- Malangizo ochepa ochitira ndi mkazi amene sakulemekezani ndi awa: peŵani kukwiyitsidwa, kulankhulana, kuika malire omveka bwino, ndi kupeza chithandizo cha akatswiri.
Ulemu ndi chikondi zili ngati mbali ziwiri za ndalama imodzi. Ngati chimodzi mwa izi chikusowa, ubale wanu sungathe kukhalapo pakapita nthawi. Choncho, ganizirani izi mosamala ndi kusankha mwanzeru. Kumbukirani, si inu amene muli ndi vuto nthawi zonse. Choncho, musaiwale za nkhanzazo.
Palibe njira imodzi yokha yothanirana ndi mkazi wanu akamakusalemekezani. M'nkhaniyi, tapereka mayankho angapo, koma si mndandanda wathunthu ndipo zili ndi inu kusankha. Choncho, ngati mkazi wanu sakulemekezani, muli ndi ufulu wonse woona kupanda ulemu ngati chinthu chachikulu ndikukonza kapena kutuluka muubwenzi wankhanza ndikuyamba mutu watsopano. Muyenera kuchita zomwe zingakukomereni. Komanso musaiwale kuti ngati anthu aŵiri m’banja akufuna kuthetsa vutolo, akhoza kuchoka mumkhalidwe uliwonse, mosasamala kanthu za kuipa kwake.
Ibibazo
Pokhapokha ngati ukwati wanu wasanduka wapoizoni, ndiye kuti, pokhapokha ngati utasokoneza maganizo kapena thanzi lanu ndipo ngati simuli pachiwopsezo chilichonse, mungafune kuganizira zokonza ukwati wanu. Yesani njira monga upangiri wa maanja kuti akuthandizeni kufika pansi pa kusalemekezana ndi zomwe mungachite pa izo, musanalumphe kuchisudzulo. Komabe, chisankho ndi chanu choti muchite.
Yambani mwa kumvetsetsa chimene chimayambitsa chidani chake, ndipo yambani kuchitira pamodzi, monga gulu. Musakhumudwe ndi zomwe akunena chifukwa izi zidzafuna kuti mukhale oleza mtima kwambiri. Mpatseni mpata wothana ndi mavuto ake, ndipo musaope kuyesa uphungu wa maanja. Kumbukirani kuti banja lingayende bwino ngati anthu awiri akufuna kutero.
Mkazi wapoizoni ndi amene amasokoneza maganizo anu kapena thanzi lanu. Mwachitsanzo, angasonyeze chizolowezi chamwano mwaukali, mwa kukuchititsani manyazi pamaso pa anthu nthaŵi zonse pamene mukutuluka kapena angakhale akukuchitirani nkhanza.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Chabwino ndizoseketsa chifukwa ndikudabwa kuti bamboyo adachita chiyani mkazi wake asanaganize zoyika patsogolo. Ndi zophweka. Nthawi zambiri amuna amaganiza kuti palibe cholakwika chilichonse. Ndimadabwa. Kodi anamuteteza Pamaso pa achibale ake ndi anzake? Kodi iye anaima pambali pake? Kodi anamuthandiza? Kodi iye ankaona kuti maganizo a mkazi wake ndi ofunika kwambiri kuposa maganizo a mayi ake kapena a mnzake? Kodi anamuimba mlandu chifukwa chosaona banja lake mokwanira? Kodi ankanyozedwa ndi kukhumudwa nthawi iliyonse imene mayiyo ankafuna kuti afotokoze zimene angachite kuti moyo wawo ukhale wabwino? Kodi ankaonadi mkazi wake kukhala wofunika kuposa wina aliyense? Inde. Ndinganene kuti anali wolondola kudziika patsogolo ndi kusiya kuganiza kuti mwamuna wake ndi banja lake. Chifukwa amuna nthawi zambiri samapeza izi. Akazi nag. Chifukwa amasamala. Ngati alibe nazo ntchito, akanangosiya kulankhula. Pamene mkazi wamphamvu amanyozedwa ndi kunyozedwa komanso osayamikiridwa nthawi zambiri, moyo wake ndi malingaliro ake zimachoka paubwenzi, ndipo simungathe kumuimba mlandu chifukwa cha izo. Stonewalling haha. Munali kuti pamene ankafuna kulankhula nanu?
Chabwino ndasunthira
Mkazi wanga wazaka 30 timakondana nthawi zina. Komana wina ndi mzake pano posachedwapa. Amakonda kusankha zinthu zomwe angakhale nazo ziribe kanthu. Amandinyoza. Akamva ngati.mayi wina wakhala akundifuna kwa zaka 2. Koma ndiwachifundo komanso okoma kwa ine samandipanikiza konse. Akamanditumizira mameseji nthawi zonse amandifunsa kuti usiku wanga unali bwanji komanso ndikuyenda bwanji. Ndiwo mtundu wa munthu amene ndimafuna kukhala naye. Kodi nditani.