Kusatetezeka mu Ubale: Zizindikiro, Zifukwa, ndi Njira Zogonjetsera

Kusatetezeka mu ubale, ngati kusiyidwa mosasamala, kumatha kukhala kowononga ubale wanu ndi munthu wina wofunikira. Ngakhale kuti nsanje kapena kutengeka maganizo kumaonedwa kuti n’kwachibadwa pakati pa anthu, kusadzidalira mopambanitsa kungayambe kufooketsa maziko a kukhulupirirana ndi kulemekezana, zomwe n’zofunika kwambiri kulimbikitsa maubwenzi abwino. Zotsatira zake, mtunda umayamba kulowera, ndikuyendetsa mphero pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu, ndikuwopseza tsogolo lanu limodzi. 

N’zoona kuti nthawi zina zochita za mnzanu zingachititse munthu kudzikayikira. Mwachitsanzo, ngati anakunyengeni m’mbuyomo kapena nthawi zambiri mumawaona akunama, n’kwachibadwa kuda nkhawa kuti chibwenzicho chikupita kuti. Nkhawa zimenezi zingakuchititseni kudziona ngati wosatetezeka. Komabe, ngati palibe mbendera zofiira ngati zimenezi ndipo inu akadali akugwedeza ubongo wanu pa khalidwe la ubwenzi wanu, ndi chizindikiro kuti muyenera kukumba mozama ndi kudziwa kumene maganizo amenewa amachokera ndiyeno kuchitapo kanthu kukonza chitsanzo owopsa. 

Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kuyang'ana paulendowu wozindikira kusatetezeka mu ubale, zomwe zimayambitsa, ndi zizindikiro, komanso malangizo othandizira kuthana ndi kusatetezeka muubwenzi. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA Psychology), amene amadziŵa bwino za uphungu wa zibwenzi, asanakwatilane, ndi kuthetsa banja, akupereka chidziŵitso pa zimene kusasungika muubwenzi kumatanthauza ndi zimene mungachite kuti muthetse vutolo.

Kodi Kusatetezeka Ndi Chiyani Mu Ubale?

Kudzimva kukhala wosatsimikizika kapena kukhala pachiwopsezo ponena za iwe wekha kumadziwika kuti kusatetezeka. Pofotokoza za kusatetezeka kwa maunansi, katswiri wa zamaganizo ndiponso wolemba mabuku wina dzina lake Esther Perel anati: “Kusatetezeka kumasonyeza mantha athu ndi kukayikira kwathu. Tonse tinakumanapo nazo nthawi ina. Ngakhale kuti n’kwachibadwa kulimbana ndi kudzikayikira nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, kusadzidalira kosalekeza kungalepheretse chipambano chanu m’moyo ndipo kungakhale kovulaza kwambiri kwa inu. maubwenzi apamtima.

Zimakulepheretsani kukhala ndi mtendere wamumtima ndipo zimakulepheretsani kugwirizana ndi wokondedwa wanu moona mtima. Makhalidwe osatetezeka monga kufunafuna chitsimikiziro mosalekeza, kaduka, kuimba mlandu, ndi kunyoza amafooketsa chikhulupiriro. Ngakhale kuti anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti zochita za mnzako ndi zomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi, chowonadi ndi chakuti nthawi zambiri zimachokera mkati mwathu.

“Kungakhale chotulukapo cha kupwetekedwa mtima kapena kukanidwa ndi munthu amene mumam’konda, kapena kungayambike paubwana wanu ndi kumangirira kosadzisungika kwa makolo anu.” Pamene mumadziyerekezera ndi ena mopanda chiyanjo ndi kudzipenda mozama ndi kukambitsirana kwa mkati mosweka mtima, mumachirikiza ndi kumangirira pa zosatsimikizirika zanu,” akutero Juhi.

Komanso nthawi zambiri zimachokera ku nkhawa ndi malingaliro opanda pake: kuti simuli abwino mokwanira, kuti simungakhale osangalala popanda mnzanu, kuti simudzapeza wina wabwino, komanso kuti simuli wokondedwa. Ndikofunikira kusiya kukhala osatetezeka kuti mukhale ndi ubale wachimwemwe ndi wathanzi. Chinthu choyamba chimene mungachite kuti muchite zimenezo bwinobwino ndicho kuzindikira zifukwa ndi zizindikiro za kusatetezeka muubwenzi.

Zomwe Zimayambitsa Kusatetezeka Paubwenzi

Chifukwa chiyani anthu ena amakonda kukhala osatetezeka mu ubale kuposa ena? Yankho losavuta ndiloti tonse ndife chiwerengero cha zochitika pamoyo wathu. Mosapeweka timabweretsa katundu wathu wamalingaliro ku maubwenzi. Zokumana nazo zomvetsa chisoni, zodzinyozetsa zakale—kaya m’zibwenzi kapena paubwana—zingakhale zoyambitsa zazikulu zakusakhazikika. 

Katswiri wodziwika bwino wa maubwenzi, Dr. John Gottman, anati: “Kusatetezeka m’mabwenzi nthawi zambiri kumabwera chifukwa cholephera kukhulupirirana komanso kudziona kuti ndi wofunika. Ngati mukuona kuti ubwenzi wanu wapano sungathe kukwanilitsa zonse chifukwa cha khalidwe losatetezeka, kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambitsa chizolowezichi ndicho sitepe yoyamba yowongola njira. Nazi zomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi: 

1. Kudzikayikira

Kudzikayikira, komanso kusadzidalira, ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu azikhala osatetezeka mu maubwenzi. Ngati munakula ndi maganizo osagwedezeka akuti simuli wabwino mokwanira, mwayi umakhala wovuta kukhulupirira kuti wina angakukondeni chifukwa cha momwe mulili. M'malingaliro anu, simuli woyenera kukhala bwenzi lofunika.

Zifukwa za kudziyang'anira pansi, malinga ndi kunena kwa Juhi, zingasiyane kuchokera ku kuvutitsidwa kusukulu mpaka kuleredwa ndi makolo oipa amene nthaŵi zonse amakuuzani kuti simuli abwino kapena kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzako wowotchera gasi. Kaya chifukwa chachikulu n’chiyani, kudziona ngati wosafunika kumaonekera nthawi zonse m’njira ya umunthu wosadzidalira. Zimenezo zimasonyeza mmene mumachitira maubwenzi anu.

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2. Zochitika zomvetsa chisoni

The katundu wamalingaliro zomwe mumanyamula kuchokera ku zochitika zanu zam'mbuyo zimakhalanso chifukwa cha kusatetezeka. Mwina, mnzanu wakale anakunyengani kapena ananamizirani nthawi zonse. Kapena munagwidwa muubwenzi wapoizoni. Mwinamwake, munali pachibwenzi ndi phobe wodzipereka yemwe amakukakamizani kwa nthawi yaitali. Zonsezi zakusiyani kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso osatsimikiza.

“Mwinamwake munasankha kuchoka pa maunansi osakondweretsa ameneŵa,” akufotokoza motero Juhi, “Koma kupsinjika maganizo kapena kupwetekedwa mtima kumene munakhalamo pamene maunansi ameneŵa analipo kungakhale kwapakati pamlingo wina wake.

3. Zochitika paubwana

Zomwe takumana nazo paubwana ndiye maziko a umunthu wathu wachikulire. N’chifukwa chake mmene munaleredwera m’banja mwanu kungakhale chimodzi mwa zinthu zimene zingakupangitseni kuti musatetezeke. Ya munthu attachment style zimayendetsedwa ndi kuyanjana kwawo koyambirira ndi makolo awo. Kunyalanyaza m'maganizo kapena kusowa chikondi kuchokera kwa makolo kapena osamalira oyambira kungayambitse kukulitsa mawonekedwe osagwirizana.

Zosowa zamalingaliro zomwe sizikukwaniritsidwa zimatha kukupangitsani kukhala osowa komanso okangamira mu ubale. Pamene wokondedwa wanu akufunafuna mtunda ndi malo muzochitika zotere, kusatetezeka kumayamba kugwira. Katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso woyambitsa maphunziro a Emotionally Focused Therapy akufotokoza kuti: “Kukondana mopanda chitetezo m’maubwenzi kungachititse munthu kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso kutalikirana.

4. Kusakwanitsidwa kwaumwini

Kusakhutira kwaumwini kungayambitse kudzimva kukhala wosakwanira, zomwe zingakhale chifukwa chachikulu cha kusatetezeka. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuvutika kuti mukhazikitse mtendere ndi mfundo yakuti simunakwanitse zolinga zanu zaumwini kapena zaukatswiri, mungayambe kuziona ngati chizindikiro chakuti ndinu wolephera kapena wolephera. Izi zingapangitse kuti mukhale osatetezeka m'maganizo, ndikusiyani kukhala osalimba. Izi zingayambe kukuvutitsani, makamaka ngati mutayamba kufananiza ulendo wa moyo wanu ndi wa ena, zomwe zingawononge kudzidalira kwanu. Ndipo chizungulire cha kusatetezeka chikuyambika.

5. Zopweteketsa mtima zakale

Mwina mudalowapo pachibwenzi m'mbuyomu poganiza kuti mwapeza 'soulmate' ndikuyamba kulingalira moyo ndi iwo. Komabe, zinthu sizinayende monga momwe amayembekezera ndipo munayenera kusiya. Choipa kwambiri, mnzanuyo anasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho, kuswa mtima wanu kukhala zidutswa milioni imodzi. Zimenezi zingapangitse kuti pakhale kusatetezeka m’maganizo, kumene kungayambike muubwenzi wanu wamtsogolo. 

Zizindikiro Za Munthu Wosatetezeka Paubwenzi

Kuchokera pakuyang'ana wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse mpaka kupeza hyper ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi macheza ochezeka ndi mnzanu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi, zizindikiro za munthu wosatetezeka pachibwenzi zingawonekere m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Terri Cole, katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso wodziwa za ubale, anati: "Kusatetezeka mu ubale kungawonekere nsanje ndi kudziletsa, kapena kusowa. Makhalidwe amenewa nthawi zambiri amayesa kupeza chilimbikitso koma amatha kukankhira mnzanu kutali ngati sakuyankhidwa bwino. "

Kodi mumachita nsanje akabweretsa mutu wa mkazi mnzako? Mumakayikira ngati samayankha foni yake? Izi ndi zizindikiro za kusatetezeka mu ubale. Juhi akutchulanso zizindikiro 15 kuti zikuthandizeni kuzindikira ngati ndinu munthu wosatetezeka pachibwenzi:

1. Nthawi zonse mufufuze za wokondedwa wanu

Kudziwa komwe mnzanu ali mphindi iliyonse ya tsiku lililonse kumakhudza ubale wanu moyipa. Ndi kusatetezeka kwanu kuchulukira pakamwa ndipo mnzanuyo angayambe kumva kukanika mu ubale chifukwa nthawi zonse mumasokoneza nthawi ndi malo awo. 

2. Kufuna nthawi zonse kuchitira zinthu limodzi

Kodi mumakonzekera weekend yanu ndi bae wanu? Kodi mumapanganso chakudya chamadzulo chamasana pambuyo pa ntchito kapena mapulani amakanema ndi okondedwa anu? Anthu omwe sali otetezeka mu maubwenzi amamva kufunika kokhala pamodzi nthawi zonse. Kukhala wopanda lingaliro la kudziimira zosayenera pachibwenzi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza munthu wosatetezeka paubwenzi.

3. Kukhumudwa ngati wokondedwa wako akufuna kuchita chinachake popanda iwe

Kodi wokondedwa wanu akupanga mapulani ndi abwenzi ake (kupatula inu) amakupangitsani kuti mukhale ndi nsanje? Kodi mumazitenga ngati chizindikiro kuti mnzanuyo sakufuna kucheza nanu? Kodi lingaliro la danga mu chiyanjano ndikuwopsyezeni? Kukwiyitsidwa ngati wokondedwa wanu akufuna kuchita zomwe amakonda, zomwe amakonda, komanso moyo wocheza kunja kwaubwenzi kukuwonetsa kuti ndinu okhumudwa komanso osatetezeka. 

4. Zakale za wokondedwa wanu zimakudetsani nkhawa 

Chidwi chokhudza maubwenzi am'mbuyomu a bwenzi lanu ndi omwe adakumana nawo kale ndizachilengedwe. Komabe, sizingakhale bwino ngati mumadziona kuti ndinu osatetezeka ndi zakale monga momwe inunso mumamvera

• Nkhawa ngati asungabe kumverera kwa ex
• Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yanu kutsata ma exes a mnzanu pazama media
• Yendetsani ngakhale pang'ono momwe mungalumikizire wokondedwa wanu ndi akale 

Palibe vuto kukhala osamasuka pamutu wa munthu wakale. Komabe, kuchita nsanje ndi kulola kuti kuwononge ubale wanu sikuli bwino. Mnzako ali nawe, amakukonda, ndipo wakusankha. 

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5. Mumapeza kuti mukuzembera ma social account a mnzanu

O, ndizosavuta bwanji kudutsa zolemba zakale za Instagram kuti mudzutse a Kraken osatetezeka. Social stalking zachititsa kuti kusatetezeka kuyambike. Mukazama kwambiri m'makalata awo, ndemanga zambiri zomwe mumawerenga, kusatetezeka kwanu kumakula. Nthawi ina, mtsikana wina adanenapo za chithunzi cha tchuthi cha mchimwene wanga ku Bali. Ndemanga yake inali yosonyeza momwe amawonekera kutentha.

Mkazi wake atawerenga zimenezi, anayamba kuchita chipwirikiti. Panali ndewu yaikulu yokhudza mtsikanayo, yemwe mchimwene wanga sankamudziwa n’komwe. Kusatetezeka kwake kunali komwe kunatulutsa mbali yake yonyansa. Ngati mukukumana ndi zomwezi nthawi iliyonse munthu wina akamalemba zomwe mnzanuyo walemba, mukuwonetsa zizindikiro za munthu wosatetezeka pachibwenzi.

6. Ndipo nthawi zina, ngakhale snooping pa foni yawo

Mwina mukudziwa kuti n’kulakwa fufuzani foni ya mnzanu. Mwinanso mukudziwa kuti simupeza chilichonse chotsimikizira zochitika zoyipa kwambiri zomwe mumaluka m'mutu mwanu. Komabe, kusatetezeka pachibwenzi kumakuvutani ndipo mumadzipeza kuti mukulephera kukana chiyeso cha akazitape okondedwa wanu. Choyipa kwambiri ndichakuti, ngakhale simupeza chilichonse choyipa, simumasuka. M'malo mwake, zimayambitsa kukayikira kuti mnzanuyo wakhala akubisa njira zawo bwino kwambiri. 

7. Muyenera kutsimikiziridwa nthawi zonse kuti ndinu mmodzi

Ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro oipa onse m'mutu ndi mu mtima mwanu, nthawi zonse mumafunika wokondedwa wanu kuti akutsimikizireni kuti amakukondani ndipo akufuna kukhala nanu. Muyenera kutsimikiziridwa kuti mumve kuvomerezedwa muubwenzi, ndipo nthawi zina, ngakhale iwo akukuuzani kuti ndinu yemwe kwa iwo sikokwanira. Mutha kugwedeza ndi kumwetulira, koma m'mutu mwanu, mukuganiza kale za njira zina zotsimikizira zakukhosi kwanu. "Izi ndizopanda thanzi, makamaka ngati mnzanu akukulimbikitsani," akutero Juhi.

8. Anthu ena m'moyo wa wokondedwa wanu amakukwiyitsani 

Wokondedwa wanu akukumbatirani mnzanu, ndipo nthawi yomweyo zimakupangitsani kukhala okhumudwa. Amathera sabata limodzi ndi abale awo ndi inu kumva kusiyidwa. Amakufunsa kuti udule foni chifukwa mlongo wawo akuitana ndipo imagwera ngati nkhonya m'matumbo. Aliyense amene ali paubwenzi wapamtima ndi mnzanuyo amayamba kukukwiyitsani pamene simuli otetezeka pachibwenzi. Ngati sichinatsimikizidwe panthaŵi yake, chizoloŵezichi chikhoza kukhala chowawa kwambiri, kuyambitsa mikangano yosafunikira ndi kukangana. 

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9. Simumakonda kukangana

Simukufuna kukangana kulikonse ndi mnzanu. Kwa inu, kukangana kumatanthauza kuti ubale wanu walowera ku dooms-ville. Mantha amkati awa amatha kusokoneza luso lanu lokulitsa kuthetsa kusamvana bwino mu ubale wanu. “Chotsatira chake, nkhani zing’onozing’ono zimangounjikanabe mpaka simutha kuzisunganso, ndiyeno, zonse zimabuka mowopsa.” Zimenezi zingakhale zovulaza kwambiri kuposa mikangano ya apa ndi apo ndi kusagwirizana kumene kuli kosapeŵeka muunansi uliwonse,” akutero Juhi. 

10. Mumapeza tanthauzo lakuya mu mayankho awo

“Sindikufuna kutuluka usikuuno.” Chinachake chosavuta komanso chowona mtima chomwe chingakupangitseni kuganiza mozama, ndipo posakhalitsa, mutha kudzitsimikizira kuti mawuwo akutanthauza kuti mnzanu wasiya chidwi ndi inu ndipo ubale wanu ukutha. Chizoloŵezi chimenechi sichimangotanthauza mawu oipa okha. 

Mumadumpha chimodzimodzi pomaliza ngakhale mnzanu atanena zabwino. Mwachitsanzo, akanena kuti, “Mayi anga amakukondani kwambiri”, mutha kuganiza kuti mnzanuyo akukulipirani chifukwa choti mayi awo sanakukondeni.

11. Mumakhulupirira kuti simuyenera kukondedwa

Kusatetezeka kumapangitsa anthu kukhulupirira kuti sakuyenera kukondedwa. Izi zingawapangitse kuchita zinthu zomwe zingawononge kwambiri maubale abwino. Kenako, ngakhale kulephera kwachikondi kumakhala umboni wa chikhulupiriro chamkati cha kusayenera. Ngati izi zikumveka ngati zomveka, dziwani kuti muyenera kusiya zikhulupiriro zoperewera zotere kuti muthe kulimbikitsa ubale wabwino ndi wokhalitsa. 

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12. Muli ndi nkhani zodalirika  

Khulupirirani nkhani ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zosonyeza kusatetezeka kwa ubale ndipo zitha kuyika ubale wanu pamalo osakhazikika. Kuzembera pang'ono apa kapena apo, kapena zochita zochepa zomwe zimadzutsa kukayikirana ndizokwanira kukhala ngati zoyambitsa kusatetezeka paubwenzi ndipo zimatha kuyambitsa mavuto akulu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake munthu amene sali otetezeka pachibwenzi ndipo ali ndi nkhani zazikulu zokhulupirirana, nthawi zonse amatha kukankhira wokondedwa wake kutali.

13. Kulimbana ndi kugonana komanso kugonana

Kugonana ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino kwambiri zowonetsera chikondi koma kuti musangalale ndi kugonana, muyenera kukhala ogwirizana kwathunthu ndi mnzanuyo. Tsoka ilo, ngati kusatetezeka kutsekereza malingaliro anu, ubwenzi umakhala vuto nthawi zonse. Simudzaona kukhala kosavuta kupereka zonse zanu. Wokhazikika mayendedwe a kugonana ndi ubwenzi ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kusatetezeka kwa ubale.

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14. Mumachita mantha mosavuta

Anthu osatetezeka angayambe kukhudzidwa ngakhale ndi zochitika zazing'ono. Amakonda kuchita mantha ngakhale atazindikira kuti palibe vuto lenileni. Mtsikana wina wazaka 22, dzina lake Slate, anati: “Ngati suli wotetezeka, umayamba kudziona kuti ndiwe wokhumudwa.” Mwachitsanzo, ndikakhala kutali ndi mnzanga ngakhale kwa nthawi yochepa chabe, ndinkakhumudwa kwambiri. nkhawa yolekana. Ndipo chizoloŵezi changa chachibadwa chokayikira ndi kuwerenga pakati pa mizere inandipangitsa kulingalira zochitika zomwe kunalibeko. "

15. Mumakonda kudzitchinjiriza ngati mulibe chitetezo mu ubale wanu

“Kusadzidalira kumakupangitsani kumva ngati mukuvutitsidwa nthawi zonse.” Zotsatira zake, mukhoza kuyamba kudziteteza ndipo zonsezi zimachitika chifukwa chodziona kuti ndinu wosafunika. Ndicho chifukwa chake amati an wosatetezeka wokondedwa amawononga maubwenzi. Tsopano, ngati onse awiri ali osatetezeka, ndi njira yobweretsera tsoka. 

Kodi Kusatetezeka Kwa Ubwenzi Kumakukhudzani Bwanji?

An bwenzi losatetezeka limawononga ubale, kuyambitsa kupsinjika kosalekeza, kudalira kwambiri, ndewu, ndi zokhumudwitsa. Juhi anati: “Chimodzi mwa zinthu zimene zimavuta kwambiri pothetsa kusamvana m’chibwenzi ndicho kusadziŵika bwino kwa zinthu zimene zimayambitsa mikangano.” Mikangano imeneyi, yomwe nthawi zambiri imayamba chifukwa cha kusadzidalira, imakula mpaka kufika pamikangano yaikulu, ikuwononga chimwemwe chimene chimapezeka muubwenzi wachikondi. tsegulani msanga.” Nazi zina zosatetezeka muubwenzi wanu zomwe zimakhudza inu, okondedwa anu, ndi ubale wanu wonse:

1. Simungasangalale ndi ubale

Mutha kuwononga ndalama nthawi yabwino ndi mnzanu ndikusangalala ndi nthawi zokongola kwambiri zachikondi koma malingaliro oyipa adzalowa ndikuwononga. Simudzatha kusangalala ndi nthawi yomwe mukugawana ndi mnzanuyo chifukwa chokhulupirira kuti mwina amakunamizirani kapena kukunamizani nthawi zonse kumasewera kumbuyo kwa malingaliro anu. 

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2. Umakhala wopanda chimwemwe nthawi zonse

Nthawi zambiri, mumadziwa kuti mantha anu okhudzana ndi mnzanuyo ndi opanda pake komanso osafunikira, koma mutha kupeza zovuta kuchotsa malingaliro olakwika. Pamafunika kutsimikizira kwambiri kuti palibe cholakwika ndi ubale wanu. Nthawi zambiri, munthu wosatetezeka amakonda kudutsa mikangano iyi m'mutu mwawo, zomwe zimatha kukhala zotopetsa. 

3. Ubwenzi wanu ndi wosagwirizana

Kusatetezeka kwa ubale kumakhudza onse awiri - yemwe amadzimva kuti alibe chitetezo yemwe nthawi zonse amafunafuna chitsimikiziro, komanso amene amamulandira. Kwa omaliza, kufunikira kotsimikizira wokondedwa wawo nthawi zonse za chikondi ndi kudzipereka kwawo kungakhale kotopetsa. Zimayambitsa vuto lomwe zosowa za munthu m'modzi zimaphimba za mnzakeyo, zomwe zimatsogolera ku kusalinganika kwakukulu komanso kusagwirizana. mphamvu zamphamvu pakati pa abwenzi.

4. Wokondedwa wanu angamve ngati akukanidwa

Ngati simuli otetezeka muubwenzi, mnzanuyo angapeze kuti akupondereza mayankho awo mwachibadwa kuti asakukhumudwitseni. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuchita nsanje kuona mnzanu akucheza ndi mnzanu kapena mnzanu wina, mnzanuyo angapewe mtsogolomu. Pang’ono ndi pang’ono, zimenezi zingasinthe umunthu wawo waubwenzi. Izi, nazonso, zimatha kuyambitsa kukhumudwa mu chiyanjano ndi kuyambitsa zovuta zambiri pansi pa mzere.

5. Mutha kugwidwa mumchitidwe woyipa

Kusatetezeka kwa ubale kunayambitsa kufotokoza kosalekeza, kufotokoza mopambanitsa, ndi kutsimikizira. Izi zitha kukhumudwitsa onse awiri. Ngakhale mungamve ngati akukanidwa kapena akukanidwa ngati kufunikira kwanu kutsimikiziridwa ndi kutsimikiziridwa sikunakwaniritsidwe, mnzanuyo angapeze kuti nthawi zonse amadzifunsa kuti ndi chiyani chomwe sichidzamvetsetsedwa bwino ndikuyambitsa kusatetezeka. 

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6. Zimakuvutani kupanga maubwenzi abwino

Pamene uli osakondwa mu ubale wanu, imayamba kukhudzanso mbali zina za moyo wanu. Posakhalitsa, mantha anu kapena kusadzidalira kwanu kudzayamba kukhudza moyo wanu waukatswiri, kufanana kwanu ndi anzanu ndi antchito anzanu, moyo wanu wamagulu, komanso ubale wanu ndi inu nokha. Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza, 

• Simungathe kutumiza kuntchito
• Menyani ndi anzanu kapena abale anu 
• Zikupezani zovuta kukhazikika

7. Kudalira bwenzi lanu kumawonjezeka

Munthu wosatetezeka amakakamira bwenzi lake. Mantha anu amakupangitsani kukhulupirira kuti munthu yekhayo amene angakukwanitseni ndi mnzanu. Komabe, Kukakamira kungawononge ubale wanu. Simudzasangalala konse ndi inu nokha komanso ubale wanu ngati mungodalira mnzanu kuti akupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu wokongola, wosangalatsa, wanzeru, kapena wokoma mtima. Ngati simungathe kudzimvera nokha, ndiye kuti nthawi zonse mudzakhala osakhutira.

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Kuwona mavuto pamene kulibe, kudzikayikira, kumverera ngati mukulephera kudziletsa ndi zizindikiro zina zotere za kusatetezeka kwa ubale zimasonyeza kuti muyenera kugwira ntchito pa nkhaniyi isanakuvutitseni, osati pa ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo komanso wanu. Thanzi labwino komanso kukhala ndi moyo wabwino. 

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, katswiri wa zamaganizo ndiponso mlembi wa zachipatala, analangiza kuti: “Kukayikakayika kukabuka, m’pofunika kuganizira mozama za magwero ake.” Kaŵirikaŵiri, zimachokera ku zochitika zakale kapena mantha, osati kwenikweni pa unansi wamakono. Ndipo mumachita bwanji zimenezo? Juhi amagawana malangizo 8 osavuta, otheka kuthana ndi kusatetezeka muubwenzi: 

1. Dziyeseni nokha ndikuyamba kudzidalira

Monga momwe Dr. Solomon akunenera, kudzizindikira ndi chimodzi mwa mfundo zazikulu za momwe mungagonjetsere kusatetezeka muubwenzi. Muyenera kuyamba ndikusanthula komwe malingalirowa akuchokera. Tsopano popeza mukudziwa zomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi, patulani nthawi yoyang'ana ndikufufuza kuti ndi ziti mwazinthu izi zomwe zingakuthandizireni. Kuthana ndi kudziona ngati wosatetezeka kumafuna kuti muzidzigwira ntchito nokha, kudzisamalira nokha komanso kudzikonda, ndikukulitsa luso lanu. Kudzidalira. 

2. Siyani zakale

Kodi kusatetezeka kwanu muubwenzi kumachokera kuti munali ndi chinyengo chosawerengeka ngati bwenzi lanu m'mbuyomu? Zikatero, pali chifukwa chomveka cha kusatetezeka kwanu. Komabe, ngati mupitiliza kuyang'ana ubale wanu wapano kuyambira kale, simungathe kudutsa zosatetezeka izi ndikumanga ubale wabwino ndi mnzanu. 

Monga akunena, ngati simuchiza zomwe zakupwetekani, mudzakhetsa magazi anthu omwe sanakuduleni. Muyenera kuyika patsogolo machiritso anu kuti muthe kusuntha malingaliro am'mbuyomu osatetezeka. Juhi akulangiza kuti, “Kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri kungakhale kopindulitsa kwa anthu amene akukumana ndi vuto losatetezeka paubwenzi, makamaka ngati maubale akale zakusiyani osatetezeka pankhani ya chikondi ndi maubale.”

3. Khalani ndi zokonda zanu

Imodzi mwa malangizo abwino a momwe mungagonjetsere kusatetezeka muubwenzi ndikulera ufulu wodziimira payekha ndi munthu payekha. Choncho m’malo mofuna kalasi yophikira anthu okwatirana kapena kalasi yovina aŵiri, pezani chinachake chimene chimakubweretserani chisangalalo popanda kukhudza mnzanuyo. Sizochepa zaumwini kwa mnzanuyo koma ndi phunziro lodziphunzitsa nokha kukhala ndi moyo wanu. Mnzako si dzuŵa ndipo sindiwe dziko losungulumwa la mapulaneti ozungulira dzuwa. Moyo wanu wonse sungathe ndipo suyenera kukhala pa iye. 

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4. Pumulani pazama TV

Pumulani pazama TV, kaya Facebook, Instagram, kapena Snapchat, ngati zithunzi zonse zomwe zili bwino za mabanja osangalala komanso maubwenzi abwino zikukupangitsani kumva ngati zanu sizokwanira. The maubale osangalatsa pa social media sizimawonetsedwa nthawi zonse koma ubongo wanu wopanda chitetezo sungathe kuziwona choncho. Dzichitireni zabwino ndikutuluka pama media onse mpaka mutathana ndi zovuta zanu ndikuphunzira kuyang'anira zomwe zikuyambitsa. Ngati ndizovuta kufunsa, lolani kutsatira maakaunti angapo omwe amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu osakwanira paubwenzi wanu.

5. Uzani mnzanu zakukhosi

“Kufunafuna chithandizo kwa okondedwa kungakhale kothandiza kwa anthu amene ali ndi vuto laubwenzi,” akutero Juhi. Chifukwa chake, pitirirani ndikugawana malingaliro anu oyipa kwambiri ndi anzanu omwe mumawakhulupirira. Tengani botolo la pinot ndikuwululira zonse kwa mnzanuyo. Malingaliro omwe amawoneka omveka m'mutu mwanu angawoneke ngati ochepa mukamawalankhula.

6. Sibwino kupuma

Perekani mnzanu ndi inu nokha malo. Funsani mnzanuyo ngati kuli bwino ngati simukumana kwa masiku angapo. Bwererani mmbuyo ndikudzipatsa danga. Lolani kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro atsopano. Osaganizira za ubale ndikupereka mphamvu zanu ku ntchito ina. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuthana ndi kusatetezeka kwanu ndipo pamapeto pake mumadutsa.

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7. Yesetsani kuthetsa vuto la kulingalira mopambanitsa

Ngati zikwama zamaso zakuda zikunena kuti mudakhalanso usiku wina mukuganizira zochitika zoyipa kwambiri za momwe mnzanu angaponderere pamtima panu, ndi nthawi yoti muthetse vutoli molunjika. Palibe kukana zimenezo kuganiza mopambanitsa kumawononga maubale ndikuwonjezera nkhawa zanu popanda chifukwa chabwino. Komabe, kuchokera ku overthinker kupita kwina, "Lekani kuganiza mopambanitsa", ndiye upangiri wopanda phindu womwe mungapeze. Zili ngati kunena kuti chiritsa fupa lothyokalo. 

Ngati mungathe kuthandizira, simungafune kugwidwa ndi malingaliro amenewo. Komabe, pali njira zothetsera malupu awa ndipo musalowemo. Nazi zina zomwe mungayesere:  

• Chitani zinthu zomwe zimafuna kuti mukhale ndi chidwi 
• Yesani kulemba 
• Sinkhasinkha 
• Yesani njira monga kupumula pang'onopang'ono kwa minofu kapena masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti mukhazikitse malingaliro anu 

8. Khalani womasuka kukambirana

Monga munthu wosatetezeka, mwina simungafune kukhala pamitu yotsutsana (kapena mikangano) koma yesani kumasuka kwa wokondedwa wanu za zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka. Mbali za ubale, zomwe mnzanu adachita zomwe zidakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka - zinthu monga choncho.

Wothandizana naye womvetsetsa samangokutsimikizirani koma yesetsani kupangitsanso zinthu kukhala zosavuta kwa inunso. Koma pamene mukuchita zimenezi, musamachite chizolowezi choti mnzanuyo azikutsimikizirani nthawi zonse pamene mukuona kuti mulibe chitetezo. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, pamene mukusiya kusatetezeka kwanu, mudzakhala ndi nkhawa zochepa ndipo chikhutiro cha ubale wanu chidzawonjezeka.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Kuphunzira kusiya kukhala osatetezeka si matsenga. Sizichitika mwangozi. Muyenera kutenga tsiku limodzi kuti mumvetsetse komwe likuchokera komanso momwe mungagonjetsere kusatetezeka kwanu. Kulankhulana ndi wokondedwa wanu kungakuthandizeninso paulendo wanu wophunzirira kuthana ndi kusatetezeka. Kumbukirani, musaganize mopambanitsa ndi kukhulupirira wokondedwa wanu ndi ubale wanu.

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