She had everything she wanted, so why did she feel so empty inside?
Kashika was 30 years old when she came to my clinic. She was a beautiful and successful woman, married for the past two years to Arvind. Arvind and Kashika were dating since college and got married after a five-year-long relationship. However, a year after marriage, Kashika realised she wasn’t happy. She had this nagging feeling that this isn’t it, that something was missing in her marriage. She felt she lived with a hole inside her. A certain emptiness that couldn’t even be filled with the love she had in this relationship.
She couldn’t identify what the problem was – Arvind was a loving, supportive, and independent husband. Her in-laws were caring and supportive as well. What’s more, she didn’t have an ex-boyfriend who she was hung up on or someone she liked, or any childhood trauma that would cause her to feel this way. Kashika confessed that this wasn’t the first time she felt this way; she felt this at different points of time in her relationship, but brushed it under the carpet, because she thought everything would be fine after marriage. Now, she was scared her feelings would wreck her perfect marriage, so she called up and asked if therapy could be a possible solution.
The promise she made to love him forever
We decided to do regression therapy to identify the source of her feelings and ended up visiting one of her past lives in Ancient Rome. In her previous life, she was a housewife, happily married to a general in the army. They were completely in love, and both of them made promises of undying love to each other. Soon, her husband died in battle, leaving her heartbroken. She had to live her life, and it felt like a forced one. However, she remembered an oath where she swore that she’d never love or marry anyone else again.
I call such promises or commitments as eternity postulates. They have the ability to extend and expand across time and space. Words like never, ever, always, forever are words that have tremendous power over time.
Words like never, ever, always, forever are words that have tremendous power over time.
Probably it is not about the language or the ‘word’ in itself, but maybe the kind of energy these kind of words carry. So, Kashika too was locked in a time energy capsule of an eternity postulate of her own.
Related reading: Why did I need so many emotional connections outside marriage?
Don’t let your past life dictate your present
In addition, in her current lifetime, Kashika was still carrying the guilt and sadness of her past life, and her latent emotions woke when her relationship with Arvind got serious. After a couple of sessions of therapy, Kashika was able to release her trapped feelings of guilt and sadness. She was able to let go of her Roman life and the husband from that lifetime, and dissolve her eternity postulate (so that she would carry that belief forward in her current or future lives). A few weeks later, she told me that was able to move on from her feelings and felt very much at peace and in love with Arvind.
Lovers often make proclamations of undying love or being together forever with one another. However, what they don’t know is how the unconscious mind records these beliefs in their cellular memory and manifests it in their current or future lives.
Limit your emotions to one life only
In transpersonal therapy, we have seen a lot of clients feel like they are with a wrong person or feel unfulfilled even though they have loving and caring lovers/spouses, because they made promises to only love their lovers/spouses from a past life. In this life, their soul continues to yearn for the love or relationship they had with their past lover, without realising that the lover may not have meant the oath/promise, or may not have been born in the same lifetime as them. As a result, they move from one unfulfilled relationship to another without ever knowing why they feel the way they do or without being able to find a lover who they feel content with.
Therefore, I advise people to be aware of their emotions and be doubly aware that these emotions need to be limited to this current lifetime only.
On a funny note, many of my clients who did get married after learning about ‘eternity postulates’ would add the line “in this lifetime” (under their breath) after every sentence of oath or vow that the pandit or the priest asked them to make to their partner, so that they don’t roam around loveless in the next lifetime!