I am 35 and single. An independent woman who runs her own business, protected by a supportive family, surrounded by a motley group of friends, appreciated by well-wishers, strengthened by obstacles and roadblocks and happiest when reading, writing and teaching. I love to chase dreams and fulfill them, not for worldly ambition but to test and push my own abilities and faith in life generally. I also live alone and I am happily uncommitted, without the slightest feeling of any lack in my life.
Being 35 And Single Never Looked Better
Before you think that this post is about a woman complaining about how she cannot find a man, stop right there. Rather, what I want to tell you about myself is completely different. Now, I am not the kind of person who rants about relationship issues. I have none at all! I am very happy. I love my own company a lot which makes me a happily single woman.
I love spending time by myself in my house where I have the freedom to be, do and think as I want. This is not because I have any societal fears – in fact, my work keeps me extremely active socially – but I thoroughly respect myself and my life. However, as I am getting older, people seem to think that being single is a life-threatening issue that will only get worse as the years pass! I find this utterly funny and totally rubbish. I’m single at 35 and life looks pretty good on me!
I have been in love before
Being a 35 and single female, people around me sometimes raise eyebrows. They think it’s because I’m possibly too high maintenance, can’t get a guy, don’t have time for one or that I just don’t know how to be in a relationship. But none of those things are true.
I’m 35 and still single because I have not loved anyone to the extent that I would marry him.
I have been in love before, yes. And I have been out of it too. I have created wonderful memories with each one of my lovers and I have torn apart a few dreams. I have hurt and I have been hurt. I have wallowed in self-pity and I have made my lovers miserable. I have made disastrous choices and have laughed in hindsight. From dating a player to being confused between two men myself, I’ve been through a lot.
I have dated a decent number of men and even have contemplated marriage with a couple of them. But mostly, I have been happy in my comparatively short-term love stints. No one has set my heart on fire. Not yet.
Related Reading: 13 Sure-Shot Signs He Pretends To Love You
I believe that love will find me one day
Just because I’m part of the ‘Being single over 30’ club does not mean I have missed the bus or that I do not have faith in true love. The fact is, I believe in LOVE. I believe that it is above the considerations of time, age and status. I feel that love should bring us the joy of companionship and not compromise. I know that love is not bound by gravity but levitated through emotions for it truly is a cosmic connection.
Love is natural and has its own trick of finding a way. Love is respect and following mutual goals emotionally, spiritually and materialistically for individual growth and as a couple. Love is about two different individuals coming together to live their promise to each other.
I became my own rock
It’s just that while searching for my knight in shining armor, I became one for myself. I earn my own living, I make my own decisions and I am pretty content with all ups as well as downs that come in my life. While each person has the right to nurture their own opinions, the idea of falling in love for ‘stability’ and ‘settling down’ has always sent a shiver down my spine! I refuse to do so. For me, these can never be the reason for marrying someone. I’d rather be 35 and single instead.
I would rather curl up with a book than in the arms of the wrong man. I would rather cast lovelorn eyes on star-studded skies than sleep beside a stranger. As an independent woman, I’m much more comfortable spending time with myself rather than desperately knocking on the wrong doors.
I would rather work relentlessly even when I want to rest rather than accept anything from a person I don’t wish to know. I would rather be heartbroken alone than have my heart broken every day by a man I am tied to. I would rather follow my own instincts and remain single than follow social norms to regret later.
Related Reading: What I learnt about love at 30…it’s over-rated
I am not actively looking for a date or a life partner
However, let’s get a couple of things straight. I have nothing against marriage, even if it happens through a matrimonial website! Many such couples I know are happy and secure with each other. I would love to get married if the day and person ever arrive. It’s just that I am not going out there and actively looking for a date or a man.
Since I’m so comfortable being 35 and single, it’s much easier for me to just wait for him to come into my life. I would love to be with a man with whom I can share my thoughts, money and body. I would love to discover the joys of being a wife and a mother. Yes, I want these things like all single women do. But if it isn’t happening, let’s not force it!
Second, I am not an idealist. I am a romantic at heart. Yup, sounds weird right considering that I’m so comfortable with being single? But it’s true. Being single over 30 doesn’t mean the romance in you is dead. You are just more content in your own self.
The men I’ve dated have been amazing but not flawless. They came with their own emotional baggage and that never stopped me from loving them. The fact that they had a story to tell and carried their own special traits made them all the more alluring. And who am I to judge when I have my own shortcomings to deal with?
But what I have realized in the end is: It’s not about the perfect man, but the right one! So to all the single women out there, I advise you to wait for the right guy because he will come along soon. As for me, I’m happy and doing the same.
Not just being 35 and single, but being single at any age is normal. Love doesn’t come with time frames or limits. It comes and goes when it wants to. Moreover, some people choose a single life on purpose too.
According to research, 27% of men between 30-49 years are single in the US and among women in the same age group, around 19% are likely to be single.
You absolutely can. There is no bar or age for love. Love can breeze into your life at any time!