Expert Speak

10 reasons why the man in your life may be saying NO to sex

No sex

The general perception that it is men who initiate sex, is not true and more often than usual it may be the woman who needs to make the first move. When an invite for sex does not evoke a favourable response, the lady may feel let down and take it personally. Remember, it is not about you, there may be reasons for him not having responded. Here are the top 10 reasons why your man might be saying NO to sex.

1. Stress

He may be stressed because of a work situation or something that has not been shared with you. An unsolved financial problem, a nagging negative thought or a possible situation that may be evoking fear, is a sure killer for the right mood.


2. Exhaustion

Contrary to popular belief, many gym or sports freaks are not the studs they appear to be. It is possible that they may be among men who are physically tired and exhausted.

3. Performance anxiety

Premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction can break the confidence of a man and could well become a strong reason for shying away from sex, because accepting the inability to satisfy their mate could be difficult for some men.

4. A health condition

Pain, discomfort or a skin condition anywhere in the body may be a reason for him to say no. A bloated stomach may be holding all his attention to the mid of the body, not allowing it to slip below the belly.

5. Poor testosterone levels

The inadequacy of male hormone testosterone may be the culprit. After 30 years of age, some men experience a gradual drop in the ‘T Levels’. For some this drop may be more sudden and could relate to one of the many auto immune or non-infectious diseases, including diabetes. Some drugs, tobacco and higher quantities of alcohol are also known to be the cause of a in drop in ‘T levels.’

6. Resentment

He may be unhappy with you, waiting for the apology to be tendered before resuming the normal physical relations. Reason for this could range from wrong behaviour to disrespecting him or his family.

Related reading: Headache, and other reasons why women say no in bed

experts advice

7. Body odour

More often than you’d think, bad odour may be the cause for him to become uninterested in you. Some people have strong likes and dislikes and sometimes it becomes difficult for the partner to imagine that a silly small little reason can be powerful enough to say no to sex. Other reasons could include lights, distracting sounds, temperature of the room or discomfort of the bed.

8. Obesity

Other than drop in desire booster, obesity may additionally be a reason for discomfort during the sexual act. It may be too much work for a person who is overweight.

9. Another relationship

There could be an emotional attachment elsewhere and the new relationship may be the reason for his disinterest in you.

10. You’re too fast

For some people, emotional involvement brings comfort before indulging in sex. You need to see if you are going too fast or are able to match his pace. Some men do not want the partner to be overly active. It gives them the feeling of losing control, while some other men may be put off by absolute inaction or lack of response.


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  • Facebook Comments


    1. Great Insight coming from you .As usual very crisp and precised. The pointers stated by you are actually clues for anyone to figure out what can be wrong with your partner. At times your partner is not very expressive and may shy off discussing and bringing up dialogue on sex. Great work .Keep writing…

      1. Thanks Malini for contributing. You are right that the responsibility seems to on wife but when intelligence is used a tool, it catapults the whole situation into a favourable one. So please look at it from that perspective.

    2. The task of a wife is to maintain and take care of a husband. It is not an easy undertaking. Those women, who are unaware of this feature of their role, may find difficulty in fulfilling the task. It is a job for the woman who is aware that the job requires a degree of sagacity, style, and ingenuity. For a woman to be a successful wife, she should win over her husband’s heart and be a source of comfort to him.

      1. You are very right in pointing out that despite one or more than one of the listed reasons, there is always room for betterment, which a caring wife should be aware of.

    3. Well crafted and simply Explained. The input on subject not discussed too much but there is always a need for such insight if one is ready to do a self Analysis and wants to create a great life for self and Partner……

    4. I personally agreed with the all above reasons when sex is pre-planned. If not,… non of above reasons matter for enjoying heavenly emotional pleasure.

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