How To Take Control In The Bedroom As A Man

Great Sex | | , Relationship Writer
Updated On: October 18, 2023
man take control in the bedroom

Even as the distinction in gender roles is getting blurred in the progressive 21st century, women still have an innate want of being dominated and ‘taken’ in bed by their macho men. They love to be claimed, caressed and cuddled, that’s why it’s important to know how to take control in the bedroom as a man.

But many men do the exact opposite. They like their women to lead them. In fact, in an age when equality of sexs is the key to great communication, the same should reflect in the bedroom as well. So both should take charge sometimes in their own way, to make sex interesting and invigorating.

If you are the kind who says, “I like a man who takes charge,” then this article would be an interesting one for you. We are going to talk about guys who take control and why they do that.

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How To Take Control In The Bedroom As A Man

If you want a fulfilling sex life then taking charge in the bedroom is vital. This shows you are interested in your woman, you want to enjoy sex with her and want to go the extra mile to ensure she feels pleasure as much as you do. You have to know how to satisfy a woman in bed by taking charge in the bedroom.

Here are a few steps you can take to take the lead in the bedroom as a man.

1. Take the initiative

Women love men who take the initiative. Be it just kissing, cuddling or sex, taking the first step is being in control. Even if you are out for a walk and you hold her hand firmly this could be a way of taking the lead.

Initiating sex is another way of taking control in the bedroom as a man. You could be sitting on the couch watching TV. Just start off with the kisses and then carry her to the bedroom. She would respond immediately and would go with the flow as you embark on a heady lovemaking session.

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Tell What A Guy Wants From You

2. Spend time on foreplay

We know this might sound cliché but no one can deny the importance of foreplay in lovemaking and if you intend to take control of the situation indulging in prolonged foreplay is always a must.

Unless of course, if you are planning a quickie on the kitchen table that’s something else. But in that case also you have to take the lead to prop her up and position yourself right.

Guys who take control also spend time on understanding foreplay. It is vital to understand what works for your woman. If you want to take the lead focus on her moans and how she quivers and trembles under your fingers and tongue, then you will be the master.

3. Whisper in her ears

Do some dirty talk. Whispering sweet nothings in her ears is a great way to turn her on. Add dirty talk with that and you are all set to take the lead as a man.

A great way of taking control in the bedroom is to tell her what you plan to do in bed. This would excite her immensely and turn her on.

Men who can whisper, talk and moan during sex have greater capability to take control in the bedroom and satisfy their women.

Decide on the position for maximum pleasure
Decide on the position for maximum pleasure

4. Decide on the position

If you want to take control in the bedroom as a man then decide on the position. Don’t go for the same position everyday you make love.

Keep the final position a surprise for her. Choose a position that would give you better control and better penetration. There are some positions that give more pleasure to women and she would love it if you go for those.

Some positions work for men better. Keep taking the lead in the position you choose and claim her as she orgasms in your arms.

5. Ask her what she likes

This is vital. You don’t need to ask her when you are making love instead you can ask her when you are having a pillow talk. “Did you like what I did to you?” is what men who take the lead ask their women.

Some women like to be in top, allow her that pleasure. Tell her you know what she likes and would work on it to give her more pleasure. She would love you to the moon and back for that.

6. Always experiment

How to take the lead in bed as a man? Always be experimental. Ensure that no two love making sessions are the same.

Being experimental will help you to stay in charge and spring surprises on your lady, surprises that she would always savour.

If you don’t want to surprise her then have a talk about what you plan to do and see if she goes along with it. She might add her bit to it too. Then you will end up having a blast in bed.

How To Get A Man To Take Charge In Bed?

If you want your man to take charge in bed then this is what you must do.

  • Have a talk with him and tell him that you want him to take the lead and you will follow
  • If he flounders a bit hold his hand and guide him to your places of pleasure
  • If he is doing things right make it known to him through your moans (yes your moans are a turn on for him.)
  • Share YouTube videos and reading materials with him that would tell him how you want him to take charge in bed.
  • Watch films on love and romance together and tell him how you want to replicate it in real life.

Related Reading: What Is The Difference Between Making Love And Having Sex?

Why Won’t He Take Charge Sometimes?

Keep in mind sometimes men don’t want to take charge in the bedroom. There are several reasons for that. We talk about six reasons why they don’t.

1. They like to watch women enjoy it

If he wants you to be on top and ride him, then the only reason for that is that he wants to see you enjoy it. He wants to have all the fun while also letting you have fun with his body and more.

For most men, it is super sexy to have the woman on top and taking control. Men want to see a woman’s expressions while she rides him.

It turns them on and gives them immense joy to see that their tool has the power to please their lady.

Men take control in bed
They like to watch you enjoy it

2. He might be feeling lazy and tired

There are days he might be feeling too lazy to do all the work. No wonder they just simply lie back and give full control to their partner in bed. Many men also do not make an effort to undress.

Women have to do them the honour of unzipping them and then unhooking their bra. Women always want the man to initiate the lovemaking session, but on days he is feeling lazy, if women waited, they’d be only waiting.

3. Giving control helps them see what you can do to him

If men have been doing all the work in bed and have reached a certain level of predictability, they should give women control while having sex. This way, men can explore the wild side of the lady and also break the monotony.

Men want the ladies to treat them like kings and what better place than in bed? They enjoy watching ladies go wild and playing around with their body. You should learn to ride your man well.

Related Reading: The Dynamics And Importance Of Sex In A Relationship

4. They want to feel wanted

If a guy takes the initiative every time for sex, they begin to think that it is only they who want it. Many times men also want to feel like they are needed and wanted.

In such cases, they let their ladylove take control in bed. Moreover, when women take the lead and start the foreplay, men feel the energy and perhaps later in the act do not mind taking control. They see how much the woman needs them, and that desire in them makes men go crazy.

They want to feel wanted
They want to feel wanted

5. He gets bored doing all the work each time

After a few years into a relationship, when sex becomes more like a routine, men start looking at it as a cardio session. It is a must that women also take charge at times. If that does not happen, it is natural for a man to feel bored and think of sex as some task rather than pleasure.

Additionally, after a long day at work, if women expect the man to take control and do all the work, it is only going to put him off.

6. They enjoy it more

Man wants control in bedroom
They enjoy it more

Submitting themselves to the woman is something that men have started liking. They want to feel the passion, aggression and domination of women. Simply put, men like ready-made things, and when it comes to sex, they want to enjoy the same.

Women might want to start learning the tactics of making men feel excited at first, seducing them and then giving them control during intercourse. Even if he does not take charge, women should not feel shy to go right for his tool. Men love it to the absolute core!

The cowgirl position is exciting for both men and women because men can have a good view of a woman’s boobs, and women can have good eye contact with them. Whatever the reason, if a couple takes turns in taking control during sex, you are assured of making your sex lives less annoying and breaking the monotony.

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