You seem to have found a nice person with a steady job, an impeccable fashion sense and one who showers you with all the attention in the world. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? Except it might not be. Have you been watching out for the dating red flags before you fall in love too fast?
You seem content, happy and thinking about how, finally, you’re dating a person you can be in a healthy, happy relationship with, until…uh oh, did your partner just make a snarky comment to the serving staff at a restaurant. Are you suddenly embarrassed that your partner is badmouthing the waiter who accidentally dropped a scone on the floor? Oops! Maybe this is not the man of your dreams.
Most of us have a checklist that we tick off while we get to know the person we are dating. But, how they treat others is a big indicator of who they are as a person. After the episode in the restaurant, if you are Googling red flags in a relationship with a man, it’s your gut telling you how your partner is going to be in the latter stages of the relationship.
Dating Red Flags Checklist
Your date’s personal traits might seem impeccable, but there could be warning signs in the relationship that become visible when you two get real up close and personal. That’s when the dating red flags start coming to the forefront. Little things like how he treats people, talks about people who aren’t there, and how he behaves with people, especially those in the service sector (waiters, shopkeepers, domestic help) are clear indicators of he really is.
Sometimes, there could be silent red flags in a relationship, too. These signs tell you whether he’s really interested in you or not, is he compromising and understanding or are you dating a narcissist? We put together a list of dating red flags that should not be ignored.
1. A guy who belittles people
A sarcastic sense of humor is one thing, but if your partner is extra snarky and has a ‘You know nothing. Let me tell you how it really is’ kind of an attitude, you are looking at one of the major dating red flags that you cannot brush under the carpet. Do you really want to be with somebody who has a condescending tone and a know-it-all attitude?
If a person can’t show basic humility on the first few dates when they are supposedly expected to be their best, then that relationship is going to crash eventually. You might be able to put up with it at first but sooner or later, it will become exhausting for you. Heed the red flag, and ditch him!
Related Reading: Is your man with you just for sex? 20 signs to watch out!
2. How he talks about his exes
How a person talks about their past lovers is a big indicator of who they are as a person. Notice if they always talk trash their ex, how you never hear anything good about them. That is a sign of a toxic person who is still holding onto a lot of ill feelings. It is also possible that you are falling in love with a man with low self-esteem.
Having nothing good to say about an old partner is fine because not everyone can make their peace with a lost relationship that easily. But consistently badmouthing them is a definite warning sign in a relationship, a warning that you should get out while you can!
3. Way too flirty with everyone
We have all harmlessly flirted once in a while. But making it a habit, passing compliments and hitting on other people every time you are out with them, is definitely a red flag. There is a definite line to be drawn here, and if your partner crosses it over and over again, you need to assess the seriousness of the relationship.
Healthy flirting is not such a bad thing, but making a habit of it can be. Does he have a Casanova attitude? Because that attitude might have worked in his bachelor days, but don’t let him be this way when he is dating you. This is one of the dating red flags that you simply cannot and should not overlook because it is a sure shot sign that your relationship will fall apart sooner or later. And let’s face it, you deserve better!
4. Ignores your interests, your ideas
An important one in the dating red flags checklist is if a partner is respectful of you and your ideas. Being in a relationship means taking interest in each other. But with your partner, is it all about them? They shrug it off when you talk about your interests and rarely stop talking about themselves.
Being with someone who is so obsessed with themselves that they barely get a chance to notice you, is definitely a sign of a problematic person. Your personal interests rarely reach them over the sound of their own trumpets. This is sadly one of the silent red flags in a relationship because it does not hit you at first.
In the beginning of the relationship when everything is beautiful and rosy, you may not even notice the way he is ignoring you because you are so smitten. Eventually, you might get used to things being that way and might only pick up on this problem much later. Stand your ground now and don’t compromise.
Related Reading: Dating tips for beginners
5. Dismissive of others’ opinions
While talking to others, note if your partner is constantly dismissive of anything that does not align with their opinions or views. Being in a relationship means wanting to compromise and if they’re unable to respect a differing viewpoint, they won’t be able to respect or compromise in a romantic relationship either. This is a red flag that they don’t take others seriously.
They may constantly think that their point of view makes the most sense and have way too much confidence in their own stance and experiences. While confidence is admirable, disrespect is not. It is universally understood dating etiquette that should not be ignored, that one must have an open mind and be understanding of new perspectives.
6. They ridicule other relationships
Constantly making fun of their friends in a relationship is a sign that they cannot take commitments seriously. Their jokes and banter are actually an indication that they are just as frivolous about serious relationships as they make it seem. If they constantly disapprove, taunt or ridicule the seriousness of any relationship, it is a red flag that they might not be able to commit to a relationship with you either.
If you are looking for something long term, this is one of the warning signs in a relationship, telling you that it might be time for you to walk out. This is another silent red flag in a relationship and may not be clear at first, but it will flare up later.
7. No respect for their friends’ time
Just because they are dating you, should not be a reason for them to blow off plans with other people. It might make you feel special for a while but on deeper analysis, it shows that they cannot commit to plans and are disrespectful to others’ time.
You want to be with a person who is all round attentive to all the things in their lives. Being with someone who puts everything on hold to be with you can seem like a romantic gesture on the outside but is not such a good trait.
Moreover, it is likely they agree to plans with other people until something better comes along (like you). It is a major one of the red flags in a relationship with a man as he may do the same thing to you in the future.
If you spot these dating red flags, reassess your decision to be with this person rather than brushing them under the carpet for far too long. Remember that these will eventually escalate to big relationship issues, and breaking up then will be far more painful.
Not necessarily. Moving too fast can make you skeptical but it does not always have a bad thing. He might just be really into you or in a place in life where he wants a serious and ideal relationship. As long as he is treating you well and considering your choices, it should not be much of a problem.
Because when the rest of the relationship makes us extremely happy, we tend to overlook the bad parts so as to not find reasons to break it off. It is a sad thing but we cling onto the happy parts and lose sight of the bad parts further entrenching ourselves into a toxic relationship.