A study suggested that 60% people choose to stay in a relationship even if it isn’t fulfilling, because human nature is so comfortable in compromising that wanting to quit is the last thought they have. Avoiding confrontation often makes people tolerate lack of contact, trust, infidelity and abuse. If you have to get out of an unhealthy relationship, the first step is to identify it.
Five characteristics of an unhealthy relationship –
- The relationship feels tiring; you don’t want to talk to your partner
- You don’t find it worth sharing with your partner all the little and big things in your life
- Your relationship is definitely toxic if it is filled with control and possessiveness
- You are in a relationship that makes you feel caged
- You are in an abusive relationship. He is short-tempered and you fear him
8 ways to get out of an unhealthy relationship
An unhealthy relationship damages your soul. It alters your faith in love. You are forced to either believe that love does no good or you get habituated that relationships are only toxic and troublesome.
Here are 8 tips that may help you sketch a plan to get out of the toxic relationship:
1. Remember, you deserve better
No matter what you feel towards your partner, it can be love left over, sympathy or empathy, but you have to understand that you are equally important and a relationship is meant to make you feel liberated and happy. Even if it has been very long, you have to tell yourself you deserve so much better. Do not ever settle for less than what you deserve.
2. Make up your mind to end the relationship
It isn’t easy to get out of such relationships. You may feel that you might be too weak to carry the baggage of a broken relationship. But you have to choose to leave before it becomes so suffocating that it becomes a burden.
3. Stop expecting change
If you have complaints regarding your partner’s attitude and his habits, you will have to stop expecting changes and accept that the basic nature of a human being never changes. If you have tried enough to make them realise and they still don’t accept their mistakes or after realising their mistakes they refuse to change, it is high time that you stop hoping for a change in them and prepare yourself to talk about breakup for your own good.
4. Don’t feel guilty for hurting your partner
Since you will be the one to pull the plug in the relationship, you will feel a rock over your chest because you may be hurting your partner. You have to stop feeling guilty, or this guilt will trap you again to stay when they convince you to stay. Everyone has to bear the consequences of their actions and if you are leaving, it might be because of the past mistakes your partner made. So the guilt of breakup is not yours alone to bear.
5. Be honest about leaving; confront them
After preparing yourself to put an end to the relationship and not feel bad about it, you have to do the hardest part. You have to confront him about leaving, say that you cannot take it any more and you are breaking up. Don’t ask or leave an option; just say that you are leaving and there is nothing they can do to make you stay.
6. Don’t let them convince you to stay
The moment you say that you are breaking up, they will pull every possible trick to make you stay or give them at least one more chance. Be prepared for the emotional drama coming up and that will stay for a while until they understand you are not coming back. But do not get convinced. If you loved them ever, it is important for both of your happiness that you come out of an unhealthy relationship.
7. Move on and don’t be in touch
After the breakup you have to move on and find your happiness or give yourself a little break from the relationship. Enjoy your own company. Finding a rebound also is not a good option. And you do not have to be in touch with your ex. If you stay in contact, they may succeed in convincing you and you might end up compromising your happiness yet again.
8. If it is an abusive relationship, go report it
Ending an abusive relationship is the toughest and being in such relationship crushes your confidence to pieces. It leaves a scar on your soul and the way to start to fixing the damage is talking about it. Talk to your friends and family and when they know all about it, seek protection and report the abuse. You should never tolerate abuse. It is important to report the abuse, as you should not give your partner the chance to ruin someone else’s life like he ruined yours.
Being in an unhealthy relationship only lowers your self-esteem. You feel powerless, as you cannot control your emotions or cannot gather the courage to call it off. Before you love someone else you should love yourself enough to not be trapped in these unhealthy relationships and even if you are caught in one, tell yourself you are bold enough to leave and you will not settle for anything less than what you deserve. Convince yourself of the truth that you deserve a happy and healthy relationship.