A study suggested that 60% people choose to stay in a relationship even if it isn’t fulfilling, because human nature is so comfortable in compromising that wanting to quit is the last thought they have. But how to get out of an unhealthy relationship?
Avoiding confrontation often makes people tolerate lack of contact, trust, infidelity and abuse. If you have to get out of an unhealthy relationship, the first step is to identify the issues you are facing.
Getting out of a bad relationship is not easy, we agree. It’s especially hard to get out of a bad relationship if you love him or her.
But you have to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and try to move on. Take it from us, it’s hard to fix an unhealthy relationship so your best option should be to find ways to get out of it.
Related Reading: 11 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
Characteristics Of An Unhealthy Relationship
If you want to get out of an unhealthy relationship the first thing that you need to know is that you are in a bad relationship. There are times people cannot pinpoint the relationship problems that they could be facing and they keep grappling with the issues.
They think they would be able to fix their unhealthy relationship but they do not realise that it might not be possible. There is no denying the fact that all relationships have certain problems and arguments and conflict between a couple is normal and in fact healthy.
But how do you know then that your relationship has stopped being healthy and has become an unhealthy one? Here are some characteristics that unhealthy relationships have.
- The relationship feels tiring; you don’t want to talk to your partner
- You don’t find it worth sharing with your partner all the little and big things in your life
- Your relationship is definitely toxic if it is filled with control and possessiveness
- You are in a relationship that makes you feel caged
- You are in an abusive relationship. He is short-tempered and you fear him or vice versa
- There is a void even when you are together and there is a lot of insecurity
- You always complain about your relationship
- You are demotivating and demeaning each other
- The mutual respect does not exist anymore
- There is cheating in the relationship
8 Ways To get Out Of An Unhealthy Relationship
An unhealthy relationship damages your soul. It alters your faith in love. You are forced to either believe that love does no good or you get habituated that relationships are only toxic and troublesome.
Here are 8 tips that may help you sketch a plan to get out of the toxic relationship:
1. Remember, you deserve better
We know it’s hard to get out of a bad relationship when you love him. No matter what you feel towards your partner, it can be left over love, sympathy or empathy, but you have to understand that you are equally important and a relationship is meant to make you feel liberated and happy.
Even if it has been very long, you have to tell yourself you deserve so much better. Do not ever settle for less than what you deserve.
It is important to practise self love, confidence and you have to value your own dignity to move out of a bad relationship.
2. Make up your mind to end the relationship
It isn’t easy to get out of such relationships. You may feel that you might be too weak to carry the baggage of a broken relationship. But you have to choose to leave before it becomes so suffocating that it becomes a burden.
If you are staying on in a bad relationship then you are not doing yourself a favour. You are actually doing more harm by staying on in an unhappy marriage or unhappy relationship. So the resolution that you want to finally leave is of supreme importance.
It will propel you to make the final move. That’s the most important step.
3. Stop expecting change
If you want to end an unhealthy relationship then stop hoping for change. If you have complaints regarding your partner’s attitude and his habits, you will have to stop expecting changes and accept that the basic nature of a human being never changes. If your partner is an alcoholic or a drug addict then dealing with them could be the hardest part.
If they have a will to change then still your efforts have a possibility to bear fruit. If you have tried enough to make them realise and they still don’t accept their mistakes or after realising their mistakes they refuse to change then maybe you are wasting your time.
You cannot really forgive a partner who is a serial cheater and asks for your forgiveness every time you confront them. You need to know it is high time that you stop hoping for a change in them and prepare yourself to talk about breakup for your own good.
Related Reading: 8 Things To Do When Your Wife Walks Out On You
4. Don’t feel guilty for hurting your partner
Since you will be the one to pull the plug in the relationship, you will feel there is a rock over your chest because you may be hurting your partner. You have to stop feeling guilty, or this guilt will trap you again to stay when they convince you to stay.
Everyone has to bear the consequences of their actions and if you are leaving, it might be because of the past mistakes your partner made. So you look at the best way to breakup and go ahead with your decision.
If a relationship has reached its tipping point there is no point holding on to it and being unhappy. You cannot fix an unhealthy relationship so it is best to find a way out of a bad relationship.
5. Be honest about leaving; confront them
How to get out of an unhealthy relationship? The best way to do that is to be honest to yourself and tell your partner what you feel with all honesty.
After preparing yourself to put an end to the relationship and not feel bad about it, you have to do the hardest part. You have to confront him about leaving.
Say that you cannot take it anymore and you are breaking up. Maybe you should prepare about how you want to talk about divorce to your partner or why you feel you can’t continue in the relationship.
Initially they would be angry, upset and devastated even but they would get closure because of your honesty. Don’t ask or leave an option; just say that you are leaving and there is nothing they can do to make you stay. Be firm in your decision but be honest.
6. Don’t let them convince you to stay
The moment you say that you are breaking up, they will pull every possible trick to make you stay or give them at least one more chance.
Be prepared for the emotional drama coming up and that will stay for a while until they understand you are not coming back.
But do not get convinced. If you loved them ever, it is important for both of your happiness that you come out of an unhealthy relationship. The signs that your relationship is ending were always there and they did not make any effort to salvage it so far. Be sure they wouldn’t do it in the future.
If you have take the decision to leave then stick to it and just go ahead and pack your bag.
Related Reading: 10 Signs You Need To Break Off Your Engagement
7. Move on and don’t be in touch
If you want to get out of an unhealthy relationship then you have to stick to the no contact rule. After the breakup you have to move on and find your happiness or give yourself a little break from the relationship. Enjoy your own company.
Finding a rebound also is not a good option. And you do not have to be in touch with your ex. If you stay in contact, they may succeed in convincing you and you might end up compromising your happiness yet again.
Change your smartphone number, stay away from social media and common friends and ensure that they cannot get in touch with you. It will be hard to do it but if you want to walk out of a bad relationship this is the only rule to follow.
8. If it is an abusive relationship, go report it
Ending an abusive relationship is the toughest and being in such relationship crushes your confidence to pieces. It is strange but true. People find it the toughest to move out of abusive relationships. It’s a vicious cycle of abuse they get caught into when they believe in the apologies and stay on. And then the abuse starts again.
It leaves a scar on your soul and the way to start to fixing the damage is talking about it. Talk to your friends and family and when they know all about it, seek protection and report the abuse. You should never tolerate abuse.
It is important to report the abuse, as you should not give your partner the chance to ruin someone else’s life like he ruined yours.
Being in an unhealthy relationship only lowers your self-esteem. You feel powerless, as you cannot control your emotions or cannot gather the courage to call it off. You may know a person for ages but you will not know when your relationship with them can turn unhealthy.
Of course, you would try to save the relationship but there will be a point of time when you should be aware if the relationship is worth saving. It it is not then get over a bad relationship even if you love them.
Tell yourself you are bold enough to leave and you will not settle for anything less than what you deserve. Convince yourself of the truth that you deserve a happy and healthy relationship.
An unhealthy relationship is one where you feel tired and trapped in the relationship, you don’t take joint decisions or share details of your life. There is often abuse and emotional neglect in an unhealthy relationship.
It is hard to leave an unhealthy relationship because a person might take a long time to realise that the relationship has turned unhealthy and is on the rocks. They might find it hard to walk out of the relationship because they still love their partner despite.
The first step is to make up your mind to leave. Then do not feel guilty or do not let them convince you they would change. Move out of the relationship and ensure you do not maintain any kind of contact.