Dating is a tricky game
I have been a klutz my entire life and don’t know when I am being hit on, unless some hot guy comes up and says “I like you. Let’s have a drink so that I can flirt with you some more”. Dating, for me and for people who are new at dating is going to be a ten mile trek, up a hill, on a rainy day. You would wanna give up after a mile hike but once you get past the rain, tasting your own blood, the view at the top is worth all the pain.
An experienced person in the art of dating will know the big Do’s and Don’ts. If you have just started dealing your hands on the table of dating, here are a few notifications to up your game a bit.
Know the person
Not by stalking him. Stalking on the social media will answer your questions about the person you are going on a date with. However, keep stalking to the minimal. If you want to know about your date’s relationship with his first cousin, based on his Instagram feed, keep the curiosity to yourself. If you randomly pour in your question about his family background and can recite the name of his great-great-grandfather, it will only freak him out. You need to let him know you are interested, not be borderline stalker-ish.
Ask him questions about his family, friends, and acquaintances. Talk about yourself but not too much. No overwhelming details. Leave that for the next dates.
Meet in a public place
Preferably. If drinking is your scene, don’t over indulge. When the drinks keep pouring in, things might proceed faster than you expected. Also, I have had dates who couldn’t keep the drinks down. You wouldn’t want to spend the evening talking to a person who cannot keep his eyes open. Or worse, you don’t want to be the one, drunk as mad, unable to stand straight. Try to be open and have fun without having your beer buddy driving the conversation.
Related reading: The 4 bases of dating in the Indian dating scene
But not too much. Dating is pretty much like tip toeing back home after a late night and not waking up the parents. You might be advised to be totally yourself but this is dating. Wait until a few dates before spilling your darkest secrets. If the person genuinely likes you, he will take his time to learn about you slowly and steadily. If you give everything away on your first date itself, it will leave no conversation for future dates.
Related reading: Single vs. Dating – How life changes
Compliments go a long way
Tell your date you like his cologne. Or his haircut, how the way he adjusts his glasses makes him look cute. Again, don’t throw compliments all the time.
Keep the conversation on
Speaking from experience, I have had dates where I was the listener throughout where my date went on and on about his work, his family, pausing only to sip his drink and resuming. They hardly seemed interested in what I had to say. That is a big turn off. Talk about yourself but also ask questions about him. Don’t over-talk or over-listen.
No ex talk please
You might be hung up on your ex but try to keep him/her out of the conversation. Bringing up an old flame before your new flame might open up grounds of comparison and frankly, no one needs to know all about your previous lover on a date.
Keep the smartphones away
Dating is all about etiquettes. Constantly checking your phone for IMs, Fb updates or Instagram feeds will show you are more interested in your followers than the person sitting in front of you.
If the date goes really well and you are contemplating sex afterward, do that. But be comfortable with the choice. If you have agreed to go back to his place and change your mind later, do let him know. If you are going all the way, make sure to have a protection of your own. There is no thought scarier enough than getting STD or getting pregnant after a great date.