Dear men, PMS is as real as our periods. So much so that around 90% of women experience some kind of PMS symptoms. Given that we experience it up close, month after month, for nearly four decades of our life, we understand the workings of the nasty PMS in ways men never can. The answer to ‘getting kicked in the balls or menstrual cramps – which is worse?’ will remain a perennial mystery because no one can experience both, so there is no way to settle that debate. Even so, men don’t know enough about periods and we wish that could change in the interest of peaceful cohabitation.
How To Explain Hormones To a Man
The words ‘that time of the month’ come with a whole different level of trepidation when you suffer from PMS symptoms. When you’re feeling fat (yes, fat is a feeling that comes with an insane amount of bloating), living in the dread of taking off your bra because your breasts are sore as fresh wounds, itching to bite off someone’s head, ready to bawl at the drop of a hat, keeping yourself together can seem like the hardest thing to do.
It’s one thing to power through work presentations, be polite with co-workers and not snap at the random stranger on the street, but in the comfort of your personal space, you want to be a messy version of yourself till the storm of hormones passes. When you share that personal space with a dude – be it a roommate, boyfriend or husband – these natural behavioural aberrations can become a butt of PMS jokes. If that’s not adding fire to fury, we don’t know what is!
In times like these, we wish explaining PMS to men would yield some results and get the needle of sensitivity moving in the right direction. Here are 7 such instances where women wish men would understand their PMS symptoms better:
Related Reading: What PMS Does To Indian Women!
1. When we become the butt of all misogynistic jokes
The world loves to crack misogynistic PMS jokes but the pre-menstrual syndrome isn’t a fad or bluff. It’s very real. Every bit of it, right from the cramps that knock the wind out of us to those sweet cravings. The intensity of PMS symptoms varies from woman to woman, and even from month to month.
When these very PMS symptoms are dismissed with snide remarks or jokes, we really wish for an answer to how to explain hormones to a man. Because bruh, believe it or not, it these fluctuating hormones that bring on this monthly nightmarish haul.
Related reading: 10 memes you will relate to if you are PMS-ing
2. When our outburst is dismissed as PMS
I once had a t-shirt that read: It’s not PMS, It’s YOU! That’s just what every woman wants to shout out whenever her irritability is passed off as on the PMS symptoms. Yes, most affected women experience mood swings and spiked temper issues during their period. When that happens, let us blow off some steam and get us some chocolate.
But that doesn’t mean you can just negate all of our outburst as irrational. Sometimes we get angry simply because you act like a douchebag.
3. When our acne flares up
The impending arrival of our period is often announced by acne breaking out on our skin uninvited. We wish we could wish it away, we hate it when that happens and we most definitely don’t need you to point it out to us. Among the things women wish their husbands knew – or boyfriends, brothers and friends for that matter – is that acne flare-ups are every woman’s nightmare.
She’d very much like it if you could be supportive of that and lend a patient ear to her whining about the unwelcome guest on her face – no matter how vain it sounds – or better still, bring her some astringent to help kill that bad boy.
4. When we feel bouts of fatigue
Even the most active women reel under extreme fatigue when those PMS symptoms hit home. Yes, we will skip the gym, sleep in late and want to plunk on the couch, expecting you to bring us food, water, comforter, our phone and charger. Don’t poke us with those passive-aggressive reminders about missing workout or casual remarks about our laziness. Rest assured we will be up and about soon but let us do it at our own pace.
Related reading: This is why the world of relationships won’t be the same without PMS
5. When we go through those spells of sobbing
Another thing we want to emphasise on when explaining PMS to men is that we know sometimes the PMS symptoms leave us overwhelmed and we end up breaking down for no apparent reason. Believe us when we tell you, we know we’re being irrational even when we’re sobbing like a baby.
The last thing we need is your judgment or another barrage of those PMS jokes. And our PMS sobbing story is definitely not dinner table conversation that you can regale friends and family in. Instead, give us is a hug and tell us that everything is going to be okay. Also, order a pizza just because.
Oh and, I’m not crying, you’re crying!
6. When we bloating leaves us depressed
One of the suckiest PMS symptoms is that nasty bloating. No matter how active and health we keep, bloating rears its ugly head period after period, leaving no room to hide that bulge in our tummy. Needless to say, we hate it. If you gained 2 kgs (or 5) overnight, month after month, you’d too. Show some empathy, lads.
7. Oh, the cramps!
Men don’t know enough about periods and the myriad troubles they bring along. We get it. But you can surely see and related to physical pain. The cramps in our uterus, accompanied by pain in the back, legs and breasts, is hands-down the worst of our PMS symptoms.
Here’s what we’d like you to do – don’t count the number of painkillers we’ve popped or lecture us on their many side-effects. Instead, get us a hot water bag and some cushions. And oh, if you can top that up with a nice back rub, we’ll love forevermore
When the dreaded time of the month comes around next time, hold off the PMS jokes, be patient with your woman, pamper her as best as you can, and be her partner in this passing storm. You’ll both emerge out of it stronger (and happier).