Relationships 101

15 real reasons your wife avoids intimacy

woman avoiding intimacy

Every new relationship begins with a lot of love, intimacy and affection. But maintaining that same level of intimacy after some time is not easy, because your relationship gets drowned under new responsibilities and priorities in life also change. Have you noticed lately that your wife shuns the idea of being intimate with you? If you are getting a gut feeling that your wife avoids intimacy by choice, then make sure you do all in your power to rejuvenate your relationship.

Is your wife not interested in intimacy?

A spouse should never withdraw from the partner to such an extent that the marriage hits rock bottom. If you are facing such a situation in which your wife is not interested in intimacy, then we know it can be very disheartening. She must be rejecting your sexual advances, she must not be sharing things with you and you must be witnessing her changing into a very different person. Avoiding such a situation or not talking about it with your wife will only aggravate the problem. So confront her and try to come up with a solution that is best for the two of you.

15 reasons your wife avoids intimacy

It is essential to understand why your wife is acting weird and avoiding being intimate with you, in order to handle the entire scenario well. So we are highlighting 15 reasons which maybe behind your wife’s lack of interest in intimacy.

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1. Emotionally she is not able to connect with you

Probably you are not paying attention to the emotional bond that you share with your wife and focusing too much on physical intimacy. Due to lack of emotional connectivity, your wife may not be able to be comfortable with you being close to her. Therefore, building and maintaining an emotional rapport with your better half is extremely essential.

2. Sex appears to be more like a routine to her

Sex after marriage generally tends to become monotonous if you do not make efforts to keep the fire of passion burning. So if you are not trying out new positions and are having sex at the same time and in the same room etc., then there’s a chance that your wife has become bored and is tired of following the same sex routine. Try to be fun and adventurous in bed so that your wife is unable to resist you.

3. You have lost her trust

As a husband, you might have disappointed her by either breaking a promise or betraying her trust. Therefore, withholding her love towards you might be her way of punishing you and teaching you a lesson. Take a step back and see where you have gone wrong, so that you can set it right and win your wife’s trust back.

4. Your wife becomes genuinely exhausted

Modern day women have to take care of not only the household responsibilities but also handle professional workloads as well. This means there is a high possibility that your wife gets extremely and genuinely exhausted in juggling both personal and professional responsibilities. So at the end of the day, she does not really feel ready to be close to you. What you can do in such cases is share the responsibilities with her to reduce her burden.

5. She is probably cheating on you

Your wife might have become involved with someone else outside of marriage and she might be getting the necessary love and affection from there. You can rarely ignore the signs of a cheating wife. She probably must be cheating on you and that is why you are not getting a chance to be intimate with her. The best way to deal with this is to confront her about it and go your separate ways if things are not working out between the two of you.

cheating wife
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6. Your wife has become body conscious

After marriage, it is possible that your wife has gained a lot of weight or has given birth to a child. Any of this will bring changes to her body which she may not be confident about. Thus, deep down in her heart and mind, she might not be feeling sexy. It is your responsibility as her husband to ensure that she feels confident in her body once again, no matter what changes her body has gone through.

7. Family/financial problems might be bugging your wife

Since family becomes a top priority for her after marriage, your wife might be too caught up with family problems. In addition, some financial problem might also be bugging her. So all in all, she might not be getting time to focus her attention on things like intimacy. What you can do is lend a helping hand in sorting out such issues together.

8. She is unhappy with your lack of hygiene

When you were dating her, you must have made all efforts to present yourself in the most attractive manner. However, if now you have forgotten to take care of your personal hygiene, then obviously your wife must not be happy about it. Try to maintain your hygiene to an optimum level so that your wife does not give excuses to avoid you.

9. Depression or some mental health issue might be troubling her

If her sex drive has become low, then there is a high chance that she is suffering from some form of mental health issue. For example, she might be feeling depressed, she might be having frequent mood swings or she might have become addicted to drugs and so on. All this can have a negative impact on her sex life with you. Therefore, you must talk to her as much as possible and try to know the reason behind such behaviour. You can even take the help of a psychiatrist to help your wife.

10. Biologically she might be suffering from some disease and you are unaware of it

Your wife may not be able to be intimate with you because she might have become biologically unfit to be physical with you. She might be suffering from some sort of disease or health issue due to which she is maintaining her distance from you. So you must try to find out what the health issue is and approach a proper doctor for consultation.

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11. You are no longer her priority ever since the kids were born

Your wife must have become so much involved in the life of the kids that she forgets to give you attention and time. So the priority you had in her life changes and the kids become the centre of her world, due to which she becomes physically and also emotionally distant with you. You can try to drive home this point to her, that intimacy in the relationship is important too and she should learn to maintain a balance between the roles of a mom and a wife.

12. She might have turned into a sex addict

As a sex addict, she might have become addicted to pornography, might be masturbating on her own too many times, having sex with random people or avoiding you out of guilt and shame. This life of your wife might be hidden from you. So if you do discover this side of her, make sure you help her get out of it.

13. You are not giving importance to her sexual needs

You might be failing to acknowledge her sexual needs and desires, because of which she feels disconnected with you. When you both are trying to be intimate and you turn out to be demanding, then it is surely going to make her feel uncomfortable. So tell her to share her desires with you so that you can learn to respect them.

14. You are unable to give her time

You might have become so busy with either your work or your friends that you must have forgotten to spend quality time with your wife. When you do not give ample time and attention to her, then obviously she will start maintaining her distance from you to show her importance in your life. Therefore, you must plan special dates and mini vacations with her so that you both get the opportunity to spend time with each other.

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15. She might be going through birth trauma

After a woman gives birth to a baby, she has to face a lot of changes not only in her body but also in her life in general. So the entire experience of giving birth to a child might have had a traumatic impact on your wife’s mind. Thus, she might not be willing to be intimate with you. Try to be supportive of her and give her time to open up to you again.

Do not get overwhelmed with the reasons listed above, because some might be true in your wife’s case, while some may not be true. As a husband, you can just make efforts to find out the true causes behind your wife’s behaviour and then accordingly deal with the situation. Do not get frustrated and do not let any of these reasons ruin your relationship.

My wife is not interested in sex and sometimes it feels like I am having it with a dead body

I am scared to correct my wife/gf

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