8 reasons why separate bedrooms are good for couples

Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi
Young woman sleeping in bed

Sleeping in separate bedrooms may be a wild new concept for some couples. Most people may have never thought of this, whereas some others might have nipped the idea in the bud. Despite the fact that most people do not feel comfortable talking about sleeping separately, I have always been a strong advocate of couples sleeping in different bedrooms, if they can afford to.

The worry of losing closeness and the shame of talking about sleeping in separate bedrooms is melting, as more and more people are choosing this arrangement to correct their work-life balance According to a survey, one in every five couples sleeps in separate bedrooms. In the traditional Hindu way of life, the ‘ashrams’ were distinct stages of life and sleeping together for a couple was recommended only during a specified period. Let us have a closer look at the reasons why this could be a good idea.

1. A good night’s sleep is a great feeling

With the modern stressful life taking a toll on peace of mind, there is growing need to sleep well. Having a good sleep helps you to wake up more rested and cheerful. This is possible only with undisturbed sleep. The partner’s snoring, turning and tossing in bed prevents uninterrupted sleep. How do you deal with the spouse who talks in sleep? Improper sleep can result in irritability and mood swings that may trigger conflicts in your relationship.

Related reading: Her husband’s snoring is destroying her peace and threatening the marriage

2. Hygiene and health are personal

Ask a lady about the smelly husband who belches out whisky fumes or smokes just before sleeping and chances are that you will not see her kind and polite side. An awkward smelling perfume maybe a similar turn-off for the husband. Catching a cold or an infection is also more likely when two people sleep in the same room.

3. If familiarity breeds contempt, imagine what intimacy can do

Recollect the warmth with which you would have received a guest at your place. Ever wondered where the ‘feel good’ factor vanishes after two days? Being too much with each other decreases interest in each other. Even a simple splitting of the bed can bring better acceptance for each other.

4. Distance enhances interest and curiosity

See how couples meet when they reunite after a brief separation. There is a sure charm, liking and eagerness between the two, when seeing each other after long. Not seeing each other enough makes the partner look sexier and more desirable.

married life

Related reading: 5 reasons you should travel alone even if you’re married

5. Being in undisturbed ‘Me Zone’ energises you

Being with yourself alone is akin to the pleasure of scratching without the fear of someone watching. Having the feeling of no one there to worry about is soothing. Otherwise, why do newly married women want to be at their mom’s place? Sleeping in bliss re-energises you and you will like each other’s company better, when awake, which is what is more important for the relationship.

6. Dodge unwanted sex

Sex is important for the relationship, but after a tiring day, to indulge only because the partner has the urge can be annoying because it has become so routine. Compulsive sex can be avoided by couples sleeping in separate bedrooms. More thought would be required to seek your partner for intimacy. Of course, on the flip side, this could also result in reduced frequency for a couple who are already deficient in it, in which case some steps need to be taken to keep the charm alive, light flirtation being one.

7. Distance can enhance trust

Not seeing every single activity of your partner can prevent unwanted curiosity and reactions. One might not want to, or be able to see each other’s phones and messages, when there is physical distance. This can help the couple develop and practice trust, which is absolutely essential for the health of the relationship.

Related reading: 10 important components of trust in a relationship

8. Physical comfort can be instrumental for bliss

One pays more for larger space, whether it is on trains, on flights, in offices or homes. This not only gives more room for comfort but also a healthy happy feeling. Sleeping in your own room provides relaxation, does not attract unnecessary criticism over petty habits and gives an overall happy feeling. Sleeping without the fear of falling from the bed or without the tug of war for the sheet, blanket or quilt induces better sleep. And ever tried the blissful pleasure of falling on the bed whichever way you wanted or sleeping diagonally on a large bed with no human touch, with the option of sleeping or getting up from whichever side you like?

It may be a good idea for property developers to promote houses with a new concept – ‘homes with twin bedrooms, one for him and one for her’.

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1 comment

Neha Sharma
Neha Sharma June 4, 2018 - 2:35 pm

Personally. I don’t feel it is a good idea. I actually can’t sleep in a separate bed when he is around.

However, I do agree with the above pointers and would like to try it once!

And yes, at times we do need “ME ZONE”. This might be helpful!

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