8 Reasons Why Separate Bedrooms Are Good For Married Couples

normal to sleep in separate beds

It is normal for married couples to sleep in separate beds? We don’t know how normal or accepted it is but sleeping in separate bedrooms may be a wild new concept for some couples. Most people may have never thought of this, whereas some others might have nipped the idea in the bud. Despite the fact that most people do not feel comfortable talking about sleeping separately, I have always been a strong advocate of couples sleeping in different bedrooms, if they can afford to.

The National Sleep Foundation reported in a 2005 survey found that 10% of married couples sleep in separate bedrooms and 25% sleep in separate beds.

Among the famous couples who sleep in separate beds are Hollywood star Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Brad Falchuk and Kevin Jonas And Danielle Deleasa (apparently Kevin snores too much). It is famously known Queen Elizabeth II And Prince Phillip also sleep in separate bedrooms (maybe just because they have too many master bedrooms at their disposal).

Related Reading: How sleeping in separate bedrooms made them a better couple

The worry of losing closeness and the shame of talking about sleeping in separate bedrooms is melting, as more and more people are choosing this arrangement to correct their work-life balance. Let us have a closer look at the reasons why this could be a good idea.

Why Would A Married Couple Sleep In Separate Beds?

If a married couple opts to sleep in separate beds or in different bedrooms it is wrong to presume it is because of lack of physical intimacy, or they are fighting and not seeing eye-to-eye or there is some kind of resentment or bitterness has creeped into their relationships.  The reason for sleeping in separate bedrooms can be purely practical. The reasons could be:

  • One partner snores too loudly and disturbs the other partner
  • One partner prefers the air-conditioner to be chilly and the other dies in the cold
  • One partner belches and farts too much
  • One partner smokes or drinks a lot and the other partner finds the smell nauseating
  • One partner stays up to read and write while the other goes to sleep early. There is a difference in waking times too
  • One partner takes up the baby duties and gets up a number of times at night and sleeps later in the day while the other partner needs the sleep to be at work at 8 am
  • One partner gets up at night to check Twitter and emails and the other feels disturbed

Is It Healthy For Married Couples To Sleep In Separate Rooms?

In my opinion it is the sign of a healthy relationship. Sleeping in separate beds relationships come with less conflict, better sex life and a great night’s sleep.

Is it normal for married couples to sleep apart? It is normal for married couples to sleep in separate rooms and let me tell you the precise reasons why.

1. A good night’s sleep is a great feeling

With the modern stressful life taking a toll on peace of mind, there is growing need to sleep well. Having a good sleep helps you to wake up more rested and cheerful. This is possible only with undisturbed sleep.

The partner’s snoring, turning and tossing in bed prevents uninterrupted sleep. How do you deal with the spouse who talks in sleep? Improper sleep can result in irritability and mood swings that may trigger conflicts in your relationship.

sleeping in separate bedrooms
Sleeping in separate bedrooms after marriage can ensure undisturbed sleep

Related Reading: How Acupuncture Can Help Your Sleep Disorder

2. Hygiene and health are personal

Ask a lady about the smelly husband who belches out whisky fumes or smokes just before sleeping and chances are that you will not see her kind and polite side.

An awkward smelling perfume maybe a similar turn-off for the husband. Catching a cold or an infection is also more likely when two people sleep in the same room.

3. If familiarity breeds contempt, imagine what intimacy can do

Recollect the warmth with which you would have received a guest at your place. Ever wondered where the ‘feel good’ factor vanishes after two days? Sharing too much can be bad for a relationship.

Being too much with each other decreases interest in each other. Even a simple splitting of the bed can bring better acceptance for each other.

4. Distance enhances interest and curiosity

See how couples meet when they reunite after a brief separation. There is a sure charm, liking and eagerness between the two, when seeing each other after long. Not seeing each other enough makes the partner look sexier and more desirable.

This can really improve your sex life and keep the spark alive. 

Related Reading: 5 reasons you should travel alone even if you’re married

5. Being in undisturbed ‘Me Zone’ energises you

Being with yourself alone is akin to the pleasure of scratching without the fear of someone watching. Having the feeling of no one there to worry about is soothing.

Otherwise, why do newly married women want to be at their mom’s place? Sleeping in bliss re-energises you and you will like each other’s company better, when awake, which is what is more important for the relationship.

sleeping on separate beds
The feeling that no one is watching is a great one

6. Dodge unwanted sex

Sex is important for the relationship, but after a tiring day, to indulge only because the partner has the urge can be annoying because it has become so routine.

Compulsive sex can be avoided by couples sleeping in separate bedrooms. More thought would be required to seek your partner for intimacy. Of course, on the flip side, this could also result in reduced frequency for a couple who are already deficient in it, in which case some steps need to be taken to keep the charm alive, light flirtation being one.

7. Distance can enhance trust

Not seeing every single activity of your partner can prevent unwanted curiosity and reactions. One might not want to, or be able to see each other’s phones and messages, when there is physical distance.

This can help the couple develop and practice trust, which is absolutely essential for the health of the relationship.

normal to sleep separately
You enjoy each other’s company more when you sleep separately

Related Reading: 10 important components of trust in a relationship

8. Physical comfort can be instrumental for bliss

One pays more for larger space, whether it is on trains, on flights, in offices or homes. This not only gives more room for comfort but also a healthy happy feeling.

Sleeping in your own room provides relaxation, does not attract unnecessary criticism over petty habits and gives an overall happy feeling.

Sleeping without the fear of falling from the bed or without the tug of war for the sheet, blanket or quilt induces better sleep. And ever tried the blissful pleasure of falling on the bed whichever way you wanted or sleeping diagonally on a large bed with no human touch, with the option of sleeping or getting up from whichever side you like?

It may be a good idea for property developers to promote houses with a new concept – ‘homes with twin bedrooms, one for him and one for her’. In fact, realty developers are making houses with two master bedrooms now because the demand is high and rich clients are willing to pay through their nose to have a second luxurious master bedroom. So you got it now it is normal for married couples to sleep separately.

How Much Space In A Relationship Is Normal? Balance Is Key!

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Readers Comments On “8 Reasons Why Separate Bedrooms Are Good For Married Couples”

  1. Personally. I don’t feel it is a good idea. I actually can’t sleep in a separate bed when he is around.

    However, I do agree with the above pointers and would like to try it once!

    And yes, at times we do need “ME ZONE”. This might be helpful!

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