I’ll have to be honest here; I’ve had major trust issues in my so-called ‘adult life’. I’ve had issues trusting women, friends and even family members. So this is my take on elements of trust in any relationship. In my life ‘trust’ meant ‘drivel’, until 9th October 2013. It was on that day that I realized that ‘trust’ is an entity worth believing in because I met the girl of my dreams. Then, I realized what are the components of trust in a relationship.
Anyone who has ever trusted anyone in their lives knows that to experience trust they have to break through a veil of doubt. The longer you’ve had trust issues, the thicker this veil becomes. So you break through all the doubt and encounter trust face-to-face.
Trusting and believing are two essential elements of love and unless we can achieve that we keep dangling from a rope of doubts, suspicion and insecurity. This rope gradually throttles the relationship.
But characteristics of trust should be the pillar of any relationship. “Trust” is a heavy word usually uttered very lightly. So to understand its real meaning, we have to decode the elements of trust in a relationship.
Psychology Of Trust In A Relationship
Table of Contents
You don’t start trusting someone with your eyes closed from the very first day. It takes time to build trust in a relationship. To progress in the levels of trust, both partners will have to take the steps needed to assure their partner that they are honest, diligent and sincere in what they say and do.
For instance, it’s very hard to build trust if a partner is always late on a date, makes promises but never keeps them and always avoids talking about their past or the future of the relationship. You keep doubting such a person because they might have the best of intentions but they lack the sincerity that makes you believe in them.
The psychology of trust in a relationship is actually complicated. You progress to different levels of trust in relationships step-by-step through small gestures. Finally, when a person is convinced about the other’s intentions, they show their vulnerable side to their partner because they trust them completely.
Louisa and William (name changed) met online but when they met in person both were extremely guarded because they were not sure what the other person really wanted. “I have to say William put in every effort to gain my trust. For starters, he always kept his word. If he said he would meet me at 5 pm, he would be there at 4.30 pm.
Related Reading: Trust Issues – 10 Signs You Find It Difficult To Trust Anyone
“If he said he would show me the museum, he would plan a visit there on our next date. What I really liked is his conviction. If he said he would do something he would always do it,” said Louisa.
If we are talking about the psychology of trust, the basics entail that the person would do what is expected from them. If you are saying a person is trustworthy, then that means you can vouch for the fact that they would do what you expect from them. On the other hand, one of the signs of being untrustworthy is that you can never be sure that person will meet your expectations.
If we look at the work set up, you can never be sure that an untrustworthy colleague will deliver on a deadline. But the colleague you trust will not only deliver but also support you if you need their help to meet the deadline.
Trust is the crux of every relationship, and in an intimate relationship, it is all the more important because it is the solid foundation on which love thrives. There are major components of trust in a relationship and we will discuss that in this article.
10 Components Of Trust In A Relationship
Have you ever thought that your partner evaluates you through trust? Your wife saw your female colleague flirting with you at a party but you did not reciprocate. That made her evaluate you positively.
You told your partner that you wouldn’t binge drink with the girls and won’t get back home drunk, but that was exactly what you did. Negative points for you from him.
So what are the 10 elements of trust you need to work on regularly to keep the faith alive in your relationship? Let us tell you:
1. Faith is among elements of trust
Faith is one of the most important elements of trust in any relationship. It is almost synonymous with trust for some people. When you trust someone, you almost have blind faith in them.
You know there are some things they would always do and some things they would never do. They know you in and out. This faith keeps trust going. It’s one of the major components of trust in a relationship.
2. Hope strengthens trust
When you trust a person, you always hope you can depend on them when needed. The hope associated with trust is of the stronger variety. Hope is also the element that helps in rebuilding trust in a relationship if it has suffered a setback.
For instance, in case of cheating, you have the hope that you can be back together despite the dalliance of the partner. That’s why both of you are willing to work on mending it. This is reflective of the highest levels of trust in relationships.
3. Keeping unsaid promises
For understanding trust in relationships you have to look at the dynamics of unsaid promises. Trust is usually built on a silent promise between two people. When doubt tries to enter a relationship, this silent promise may need to be fortified with verbal or written promises.
For instance, fidelity is a silent promise you make to each other when you get into a relationship. You don’t actually tell your partner you will not sleep with anyone else when you are together, right? Silent promises like this make trust grow.
Trusting your partner to do the right things without having any verbal assurance from them is one of the strong characteristics of trust in any relationship.
4. Love – most important component of trust in a relationship
Trust feeds on love. Love serves as a fertile ground for the growth of the tree of trust. It helps to strengthen trust, rebuild it and at times even helps it grow. You cannot hope to establish unwavering levels of trust unless you’re bound by the string of love.
If you fall in love with someone, you want to trust them so that you can have a relationship with them. Love does not exist without trust, although trust can exist without love. Example: Colleagues trust each other although they might not love each other.
Related reading: Surviving An Affair – 12 Steps To Reinstate Love And Trust In A Marriage
5. Peace is among key elements of trust
When you trust someone, it makes you a calmer person. Peace is one of the biggest branches on the tree of trust. Insecurity makes you jumpy, stressed and causes you to bottle up your emotions.
People who’ve never trusted anyone for a long time, and then all of a sudden start trusting just one person, know exactly how pacifying and liberating trust is. The relationship between peace and trust is symbiotic.
Not only does trust beget peace, but peace is also among the key elements of trust in a relationship. After all, you cannot trust a person who is volatile, unpredictable and erratic in their ways.
6. Growth is a characteristic of trust
When you trust each other you grow together, into an emotionally, spiritually and financially strong couple. Trusting a person helps you grow. As it opens up your soul, it helps you see past, what you actually thought of, as obstacles.
Growth is one of the characteristics of trust as it makes you more willing to take a leap of faith or tiny steps toward becoming a better version of yourself both as a partner and as an individual. If you trust a person you can hold their hand and take risks you had never taken before (that could be bungee jumping or buying shares).
Related reading: How To Deal With A Lying Husband?
7. Honesty and trust go hand-in-hand
Honesty is the very heart of trust. It is one of the core elements of trust that can never be ignored. Without honesty, trust finds it almost impossible to survive. It is this component that infuses trust with more hope, peace and love. Being the heart of trust, honesty helps trust to grow.
Sometimes honesty saves debacles in a relationship. For instance, if there has been financial infidelity and you honestly tell your partner why and where you went wrong, they may forgive you. Then, you can begin the process of rebuilding trust in your relationship.
8. Trust thrives on happiness
Happiness is undoubtedly among the components of a strong relationship, and it stems trust. People who trust are way happier than those who don’t. In my own experience, trusting one person alone has made my happiness increase almost exponentially.
When your happiness increases, you end up sharing it with others and in turn making them happy. If you are thinking how to make your wife happy, then trust her with all your heart and see how she reciprocates.
9. Patience is a key component of trust in a relationship
When you trust someone, you will not jump to conclusions and mess up a situation. If your partner is getting late from work and not answering your messages, your first thought would be, “He must have got caught up in an important meeting. That’s why he isn’t answering my calls.” And not, “He is running late again and ignoring my calls, I’m sure he is sleeping with a coworker.
The former line of thought is trust speaking. Patience in a relationship supports trust. It is one of the key components of trust in a relationship because patience enables you to accord your partner the space to do things at their own pace without getting restless or insecure. This, in turn, deepens the levels of trust you share.
10. Trust thrives on reassurance
When you trust someone, in tough times, reassurance is by your side, reminding you that everything will be all right. It is a pivotal part of bolstering trust in more ways than one. That’s why you need constant reassurance to progress in levels of trust in relationships.
If your trust in your partner or your relationship begins to falter, they come around and reassure you of their love and commitment either through their words or actions. That’s why reassurance is one of the most important elements of trust. Reassurance takes you through the most difficult parts of a relationship.
When you find the one in your life, all your doubts and insecurities will disappear and you start focusing on the most important elements of trust to build a happy and healthy relationship. Trusting and believing are two essential elements of love, with time you will know that.
Husband Has Trust Issues – A Wife’s Open Letter To Her Husband
A healthy relationship is empowering and makes life worth living. Having someone by your side who loves you and is willing to do anything for you is an amazing feeling. Such a relationship has the potential to grow into a strong family. The tips above will surely help you to transform your relationship and make it a strong, effective and healthy one.
Really nice piece!
Wow! such a beautiful piece is this to read and to understand the value of it in the real life. Yes, sure Trust is very important and a very beautiful aspect of a relationship. We often forget that. A BIG THANKS
These are one of those things we keep on listening about and forget the moment we are supposed to enact them. A relationship is built one million little things . Thank you for reminding us about these crucial aspects in any bond.