What is sharing in a relationship? Some people believe that if you love someone truly and if you have the right kind of partnership then you should share everything. They believe sharing is about knowing every single details about their partner. But should you share everything with your partner?
If you are sensible you wouldn’t. An honest, trusting relationship is built on transparency and sharing your feelings, thoughts and things too. Sharing a steamy bubble bath or a bottle of wine is romantic, but sharing a toothbrush? Yikes!
Related Reading: How To Avoid Self-sabotaging Relationships?
There are things you should not share with your partner. For instance you need not tell your partner everything about your past. They don’t need to know every little detail about your relationship with your ex. If you are telling them in the name of honesty you are making the biggest relationship mistake.
Should You Share Everything With Your Partner?
What to share with your partner and what not to share is an issue many couples are unable to deal with. The disbalance happens when one partner wants to share too much and another partner wants to exercise constrain. We tell you 8 things that you should not share with your partner.
1. Your password
We’ve all been through that moment when your partner wants to use your laptop/phone and it’s password protected. Avoid sharing your password in order to show your blind trust in him or her. It’s OK to keep it private.
Couples should maintain privacy and should not go through each other’s phones. It’s harrowing if your partner goes through your WhatsApp messages and keeps asking you, “Why did you write this?” and “Why did you write that?”
Should you share everything with your partner? No definitely not your passwords. Simona and Zain used to share email passwords after they got married believing it was a great way to build trust and a sense of belonging. But all hell broke lose when Zain’s mom wrote an email to him with every possible nasty word written about Simona. Before he got to it, Simona read it. Do we need to say anything more?
Related reading: Thoughts every girl has when she checks her guy’s phone
2. Your beauty regimen
You do not need to update him on all the nitty-gritty of what you got done at the parlour or the spa or what you do behind the bathroom door. Spare him the details – and let the mystery remain, unless he asks you.
A guy wouldn’t understand why you need to get facials done every month or get your eyebrows done every week. Why there is a need for a hair spa or a gold facial? So spare those details. Even if he is paying your parlour bill he doesn’t have to know.
And men we know you love your me time too. You like the mani-pedi and some hair grooming. You needn’t tell her either what you do at the salon. It’s good enough if you look well-groomed all the time. That’s what matters.
3. Your bedroom conquests/failures
It’s best to NOT talk about your sex life prior to meeting your man. Delving into any kind of details is likely to make him jealous or intimidated or horrified, even if you both know each other well. Ignorance is bliss in this situation.
When it comes to your past or your ex don’t tell your husband everything. You might be thinking how much to tell about your ex and how much to withhold.
It’s okay to talk about the ex and keep your partner informed about the relationship so that they don’t get to know from a third party and feel hurt about it.
But the best thing to do is not to get into too much details. You don’t have to share everything about where you went, what you did and what were the happy things you shared.
Related Reading: What Questions Should I Ask My Girlfriend About Her Ex?
4. Your girlfriends’ stories
When you are together, time is precious and sacred. Do not spend that time telling him stories about your girlfriend – how her heart broke; how she misbehaved with her BF; her weird food or dressing habits; blah-blah. Your friend’s behaviour is an unspoken yardstick for your behaviour too. Keep that in mind. The less he knows about your friend’s indiscretion, the better.
The same goes for the guys. You you have had a drunken brawl while out with your biking friends, just keep that information away from her ears. Partners could end up judging each other when they hear stories about their friends and their exploits.
Should you share everything with your partner? In this case definitely not.
5. Your shopping list and bank statements
The last thing a man wants to hear (unless he’s into shopping) is for you to rant and rave about what you shopped where and going on and on about shopping as if it were a project. And once done with shopping, avoid telling him the details of how much you spent and on what.
It’s not that you can’t flash your hard earned cash or those sexy pair of shoes, but he won’t necessarily understand why you have blown an equivalent of a flight ticket to Dubai on that ninth pair of red heels. Avoid showing him the receipts.
Also sharing pins of bank accounts you don’t hold together is a strict no-no. There is something call financial infidelity and it does happen. Sharing bank account details and pins and password is not a must in a relationship. Keep away from it.
6. Your feelings about his mom
The space between mother and son is sacred and you step into that at your own peril. Ghosh this is the toughest path you are treading.
You mother-in-law could hate you or she could be the most scheming and manipulative one on this earth but God help you if you utter a single negative word about her to her son. If you don’t want to be caught on the wrong foot, handle your mom-in-law or your boyfriend’s mom yourself.
Don’t ever bring her up in your fights or share things that she is doing with you, with your partner. That would sound the doom gong for your relationship.
7. Your weight is not what he wants to hear about
Fussing over your weight and counting calories each time any of you eats is a big NO. He might not show the same level of enthusiasm when you tell him how much weight you have lost or gained; or how many calories are in that burger he just tucked into.
Even a misjudged raised eyebrow, let alone comment, could land him in deep trouble. So for both your sakes, keep weights and calories under wraps.
On the other hand you could be a gym rat and your partner may not be one. In that case don’t bore your partner with your constant gym talk. What you achieved at the multi-gym the calories you lost, the abs you toned. There are better things to share, you needn’t share all these nitty gritties.
8. Your bodily functions
It’s OK not to share gross details about your period or stomach flu with your man. Everyone farts, poops and belches, but there is no need to make all that obvious. You will find yourself sitting on the loo doing a pee while he stands beside you, brushing his teeth and that is exactly where the line should be drawn. Everything else is sacred.
Some people are shy about sexual exposure and would rather be intimate in the darkness. Respect that and ensure they become comfortable in their body in front of you.
There are things you must share with your partner and there are things you should never share with them no matter what. After reading this article you know what you shouldn’t reveal.