The things men do that kill romance
Women have divorced their husband for the most ridiculous reasons: because he voted for Donald Trump, left dishes in the sink or because he snores. Then they have also divorced the husband because he lacked the ‘love hormone’, didn’t text back or was too busy to take her out. Most men would dismiss this statement with a mirthless laugh, but that wouldn’t, in any way, alleviate the gravity of the issue. When a woman finally decides to pull herself away (not even legally separate) from her husband, there’s no singular reason for her withdrawal. It’s the small missiles that sever a romantic relationship.
Eye to eye
They don’t call it ‘love at first sight’ for nothing. I know men who got into fights, refused to eat and invoked their inner Devdas to make the girl say ‘yes’; and as soon as she did, things began to change. Today, the same man refuses to eat, poop or have a conversation without looking up from his phone. Really, is a tech-free dinner too much to ask?
You’re never emotionally available
Women hate to waste their precious time and energy on men who are never there for them; and even if your woman is, she’s eventually going to get fed up and drop you like a hot potato. If you don’t appreciate your wife for the lovely lunch she cooks, call her in between work hours just to check if she has eaten or take her out or surprise her once in a while with a gift or a weekend getaway, you’re just going to be that stone-faced, detached dude who keeps building walls around himself. Not happening.
Related reading: 7 signs that gadgets are taking over your relationship
So you can roam around the house in boxers showing off your hairy legs, but she’s not allowed to wear shorts. You can go out drinking with your female colleagues till late night, but she can’t go beyond a coffee with her kitty group. If you speak your heart before your parents, you are glorified as a leader, but if she is assertive, she’s termed as ‘bossy’. Good going, dude!
Return the favour
When was the last time you kissed the entire length of her body – her wrists, the curve of her neck, the small of her back and her toes? It’s not a rule that a woman should satisfy her man first. Sometimes, after a long day, at home or at work, we crave some physical intimacy too.
Sometimes, after a long day, at home or at work, we crave some physical intimacy too.
And if you’re giving your girl the same unbearable missionary thrusting, she’s going to get bored of it in no time.
Hold, hold, hold!
We don’t splurge on agonising Brazilian wax, underwire bras and ill-fitting thongs so you can last for two minutes, roll over and sleep. Who’d want to be with a man who jumps to the main course without indulging in soups, appetisers or salads? Serve the lady a titillating mix of hunger and carnality with Nutella and whipped cream, please. Lovey-dovey is good, but taking lessons from Mr Grey wouldn’t be a bad idea. Make the effort, or she’ll disappear before the climax. Just the way Cinderella did, honey.
Fresh face forward
The just-out-of-bed look looks good only when you’re just out of bed. Not otherwise. Also, there’s nothing wrong with getting a hair spa or a pedicure. It’s reassuring to know we haven’t married a pleb. A man who showers, shampoos and smells good will always outshine a man who doesn’t. And for heaven’s sake, don’t kiss us without brushing your teeth or make us talk into the mic without having a bath. Don’t even.
Related reading: 15 real reasons your wife avoids intimacy
Revive the past
Don’t bring up ugly fights and instances from the past. Or remind her of the guy she was being too nice to at an age-old cocktail party or about how her parents treat you. Launching a tirade when you’re angry will only make things ugly, and make her grow more distant. Instead, think of the good times when you invited her home, poured her some exotic French wine and gave her a backrub.
There is nothing less attractive than misogyny. Stop being disrespectful to your wife’s girlfriends or pass offensive remarks just because they had too many boyfriends, don’t know how to cook or have put on too much weight. Making fun of our girls won’t make you any manlier, just less worthy of our time.
Hey boy, are you forever complaining? About how your wife nags you to do household chores (because she has a life too that doesn’t revolve around cooking, children and cleaning), how you aren’t able to hit the gym because she doesn’t have the time to cook your low-carb meals and pick the kids up from school at the same time or how your body aches all the time? Well, if you can’t do something constructive, at least look at the bigger picture – the fact that your wife is running the house singlehandedly. Be grateful.