Can’t marry my boyfriend as I am scared of my mom

Question:

Dear Ma’am,

I am in love with a 27-year-old man who belongs to the same caste as mine. We have been in a relationship for the past 5 years. But the problem is about the place that he is now living in and also his academic qualifications. He couldn’t continue his study after his bachelor’s degree and went to Korea for work. He proposed marriage to me and I said yes.

But my mother has too much of an ego and attitude… The home runs under her command and she has already said no to our being together. I am the eldest daughter in my home and no one is there with whom I can share this problem.

Could you please help me out with this big trouble and tell me how to convince mom? I am really scared of her.

Thank you in advance.

Jaseena Backer says:

Dear Scared-of-mom,

You have to first find out if you really love this man. If you do, then you have to figure out what exactly you want from this relationship.

You have been in a relationship for five years and you still have uncertainties of marrying him due to factors that are outside your relationship – like his education, his work place, your strict mother. If you had absolute faith in your relationship, none of these factors would bother you. You are not convinced yourself that this is the best for you. You also probably feel things are not right for you.

First of all you have to be completely convinced; otherwise how will you defend this relationship before your mother?

I fail to understand why his being in Korea is a problem. If he is earning well and has a good life, then there should be no problem with any country. Besides, when you go to Korea you can also look for some job.

Yes, education is a criterion, but within these five years you should have been able to assess if he was an enterprising young man or not.

Despite knowing the strong objection, you agreed to marrying him without convincing your mother. Being scared won’t help now. You have to stand up for your love (if you are convinced of marrying him) and be strong and tell your mother this is what you wish to live. She is your mother, you respect her, but you don’t have to get scared of her.

Good luck,
Jaseena