From bragging rights to not understanding our love for baingan ka bharta, these special people come with their own special needs. And having dated my fair share of Arabs, Brits and the occasional Hungarian, it’s safe to say that I have experience on dating a foreigner. In fact, as Ali Wong aka Baby Cobra would say, I have even managed to ‘trap one’ into marrying me. So, if you have dreams of dating a non-native, heed my warning and my experience.
Why Dating A Foreigner Is Good For You
Whether you find your strange suitor at a bar or in an online chat room, the first difference you are bound to notice is that of our English Vinglish. My Indian habits of adding na and only to every sentence becomes an endearing laughing point for my current fiancé and his sexy British accent becomes a talking point amongst my friends. But that’s only the beginning of language barriers when dating someone from another country.
Once, I asked a Korean lover if he’d like me in a thong, to which he LOL’d very hard and reminded me that ‘thong’ meant shit in his part of the world. So yeah, get ready to power through awkward conversations. Oh, the challenges of dating a foreigner!
Some challenges of dating a foreigner
Once you get over the obvious and unavoidable differences in accent, the next hurdle you need to climb over is the one in bed. Yup, the foreigner and our idea of good sex and romance can be completely different. You thought Indians were freaky with our Kamasutra? Well, we can be.
But Indian women especially are also wary of PDA – flashbacks of the vigilante Romeo Squads and the cops barking at couples outdoors haunt many of us. The West can be a little different. From too much PDA in France to casual ass-grabbing at Nandos, sex and intimacy is a whole other world, and tbh, I am okay with that.
I have come to find that I am okay with a lot of things in a relationship. Can’t speak English? No worries. Want to have sex in public? Considering it. Want to categorize Nandos as date night? Maybe. But what I am not okay with is someone not loving butter chicken as much as I do. So how to date a foreign guy was never much of an issue for me personally.
Okay, I mean Punjabi (my pind) food in general. It’s a pet peeve that chickpeas and kidney beans are not regarded highly amongst other nations but often times, dating a foreigner means them frankly not understanding why certain cultural things are so important to you.
“Why do we have to invite 200 people to a wedding?” asks my baffled fiancé. I scream internally, “Because that’s just what Punjabis from Delhi do!”
Related Reading: 18 Tips To Ace Dating In College
The pros of dating someone from another country
Now, before you put on your judgy pants and question, “Why do you have to be dating a foreigner if you have to sacrifice so much of yourself?,” or “What are the benefits of dating a foreigner anyway?” Well first of all, I’m gonna say love! Why do you even need another reason? But for the sake of discussion, I ask you to keep an open mind, because the pros truly outweigh the cons.
When you sacrifice some old parts of you, you also gain a new and improved perspective. Basically, by dating someone unlike you, you become a modified car with a better stereo system (broader sense of self and the world) and also LED lights (flashy things like better sex moves, a green card and maybe an accent?).
The bottom line is, I am happy to sacrifice my geo-comforts for a chance to meet someone awesome who can, to quote Aladdin, “Show me the world – shining, shimmering splendid”. Dating someone who lives in another country can bring its issues like long distance relationship problems, cultural misunderstandings etc. But all that is at the cost of gaining an immensely varied and new worldview – and it is indeed a pretty good deal to me.
My boyfriend is a foreigner and while we have our fair share of tussles, I am beyond happy to be on this journey with him. If you are thinking of dating a foreigner and don’t know how to go about it, remember that kindness is universal and that’s all you need to break the ice and start a conversation. Kindness and Tinder.
Dating someone from another country will bring its challenges but as long as you’re in love and willing to make things work, nothing can stop you. Dating a foreigner is all about making the right sacrifices, understanding their cultural background, showing them that you love their culture, explaining your own culture to them and having impeccable communication. The difference in backgrounds can hamper communication sometimes but with the right conflict resolution strategies and techniques, you will be just fine.
How to date a foreign guy is something most girls seem to be really puzzled about even though the answer to it is incredibly simple! Have an open mind and be yourself are the most important things that we can tell you to do. No matter where you find him, be inquisitive, show an interest in his culture and be open to trying new things always.