Dating an introvert can be quite tricky, especially if you have no experience in the area or your personality is the polar opposite of theirs. They usually take time to open up and talk about what they’re feeling, and the most important thing for you to remember here is that you need to respect this timeline.
There are many things you say that can be considered insensitive to introverts, and you just have to learn what to say and what not to say. It can get confusing, that’s why we’re giving you some tips for dating an introvert.
Tips For Dating An Introvert
They find themselves lost in a conversation. They end up listening more than they ought to. When the person in front of them is bragging and it gets nauseating, they still keep quiet and pray to themselves that the person will finally stop and get away. But they never muster the courage to ask them to stop.
Together with Yes Dates, let’s figure out how to manage such a situation.
Am I talking about you? Then you are an introvert.
People like us, who are reticent and introverted, find manoeuvring around conversations extremely difficult. It’s a severe handicap and we don’t like it.
The dictionary defines introverts in myriad ways but asks any introvert and they will tell you that they find it difficult to express themselves. An introvert won’t necessarily be quiet. They might talk normally but will always find it difficult to express themselves.
In group discussions, they score fewer marks. At a party, they silently grab a corner and nurse their own drink. They can’t stand loudmouths, showoffs, patronizers, liars, drama queens and stupid people. But they can never tell them so on their faces.
How To Date An Introvert
There are many myths and misconceptions about dating an introvert man or woman. Although it is slightly tricky, if you love them, then it’s worth putting in all the effort to understand them and be more accepting of them.
If you’re dating an introvert, keep these following things in mind:
Related reading: 20 brilliant tips for dating a shy guy
1. It’s all in their heads
Introverts have their own world where the conversations mainly happen in their minds. An introvert will abuse you, slap you, ask you to go away, and even kick you in your face… but the whole drama is happening in their head.
That’s not even the worst part. The worst part about being an introvert is that their lips will automatically be zipped in front of their crush. I have personally lost count of how many crushes I have not been able to date, simply because I could not open my mouth and speak when I was supposed to or expected to.
Ask any introvert about what is the greatest relationship issue and they will unequivocally tell you that it is their inability to express themselves. An introvert will expect that their partner (or crush or whatever is applicable) will speak their mind.
That’s the golden moment for any introvert and you will see them nod vigorously, and say “Yes, this is what I was trying to tell you.” But that seldom happens. Not many can understand what the introvert wants to say and more often than not, an introvert is misunderstood.
People think of them as being cowards, lazy or lacking the courage to stand by the truth. They are none of the above. With the right communication hacks when dating an introvert, you will not only be able to see them for who they are but also get through to them better.
2. Be empathetic
This ‘problem’ needs your empathy. Imagine a song stuck in your head for the longest time but you are not getting the lyrics. You keep on searching for it, expecting that somebody will tell you, but nobody is able to.
Does this happen to you? Yes? Now, let’s multiply this problem. Let’s make this a regular affair. Every two days you get a song stuck in your head but you aren’t able to get the lyrics anywhere. Your mind is consumed by the music but there are no words to express it.
Chances are that you are already identifying with this or you are starting to feel the pain. Either way, you are now feeling what an introvert feels like. And if you’re dating an introvert, get ready to feel this multifold.
Forging relationships for an introvert is difficult, but not impossible. But it is more difficult than it is with those who can express themselves freely. Once in a while, we get partners who understand our feelings and help us blurt the words out. We get to sing the song because we are finally told what the lyrics are.
3. Coerce, but don’t force
How to date an introvert without intimidating them? Encourage them to talk about what’s bothering them, but don’t pressurize them. They tend to bottle things up. This is one of the most important things about dating an introvert you should know as their partner.
In order to get them to open to you, you have to convey that this is a safe space for them to talk. Remind them that unless they speak their mind, the relationship won’t ever work. And sooner or later, they will start telling you things, and start feeling more comfortable around you.
4. Always have a safe word
When you’re dating an introvert, they may feel embarrassed to tell you things as they are. This may be the case in bed for safe sex, or even at parties or other social events where they feel overwhelmed. Decide on a safe word, for example, ‘apple’ so that when they’ve had enough and want to leave, they can just use the safe word to inform you.
This trick will save them any embarrassment and will make things convenient for you to understand. Try to normalize using a safe word so that they feel comfortable when they actually want to use it.
5. Explore your intellectual side
One of the handy tips for dating an introvert is to talk about things that interest them – be it something intellectual or academic, or artsy like music and dancing, whatever it is they are passionate about.
In many cases, introverts are sapiosexuals and want their partner to bring something intellectual to the table. Introverts crave intellectual intimacy. This is the perfect opportunity for you to showcase your talents.
Do you know an extreme introvert? Well, if you want to date him or her, then be their lyric and watch how they sing the song for you. Introverts have feelings too, more often than not they are more powerful than yours.
Yes, dating an introvert can get confusing, but remember that they feel very strongly, and in their own subtle ways, they show that they love you, and you should do the same.
Yes, it is hard for introverts to express their emotions, and that’s why it is very hard for them to get into relationships.
Show them that they can talk to you without being judged, and encourage them to open up about things they are passionate about.
They are very subtle in their ways. They show affection mostly through gestures and in non-verbal ways.