“So keep in mind some questions to ask me to avoid those awkward silences. A drink or two wouldn’t hurt my confidence either,” said one shy boyfriend. Another said, “Give me time to get to know you. Let’s chat about things of mutual interest in the first few dates, or you can even pick the most bizarre subjects. Just please don’t stare me down during awkward silences.” Dating a shy guy is no cakewalk, but we’re here to tilt the chances of success in your favor.
There comes a phase in your life when you realize that you are wasting your time dating immature, self-obsessed Casanovas. In your quest to find the tall, dark, handsome, and overtly romantic gentleman, you may be overlooking the perfect soulmate that is standing right next to you. Don’t feel ignored if he is quiet, that’s just how he is. These shy, soft, sensitive guys can be everything you want in a relationship. But remember, a shy boyfriend is like a precious pearl and you will have to swim deep to find one, and put in the effort to get him to open up. The benefits of dating a shy guy is that once the two of you click and you find in him a soul that aligns with yours, your life will be happy ever after. You will slowly realize that dating a shy guy is a lot of fun. In fact, dating a shy guy could be exactly what you need.
Why Is It Fun To Date A Shy Guy?
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According to a recent study conducted by Harvard Business Review, introverts are more likely to become successful CEOs. There is a long list of success stories of introverts from Bill Gates to Mark Zuckerberg. Now the next question is, these guys may be successful in their respective professions, but how are shy guys in relationships? If you are dating a quiet guy, get to know what benefits await you. Here are 5 reasons it is fun to date a shy guy.
1. They are great listeners
Dating a shy guy is worth it because they will not pretend that they are listening but will actually hear you out, and if you want, give you advice. They probably do have better solutions as well because of their shy and silent nature which allows them to observe and think deeply. They know what they want from life and a relationship. Shy guys in relationships also constantly analyze their life goals and can discriminate between wants and needs. You may be surprised to see how meticulously they have sketched out partner, career, and family goals.
2. They will be humble and less self-centered
If you are wondering what it’s like dating a shy guy, then know that relationships are important to them. Making you a part of their close-knit circle takes a lot of effort, so they will always be humble and treat their woman with respect. Moreover, they will keep all your tiny likes and dislikes in mind. Shy guys in relationships are more sincere. They think more about their words and sincerely want to please you. That’s why you should be dating a shy guy. They never want to be the center of attention and hence for them, you will be their center of attention!
3. They are emotional and kind
Whenever you are having a tough day, they are the type who will go out of their way to understand your issue and then research ways to cheer you up. Another perk of dating a shy guy is that they will want to know you, not just from the outside, but your soul and mind too. That is charming and fulfilling, isn’t it?
4. They never put on a fake act
It is just not the nature of shy guys to project what they are not. They can never be in fake relationships. They know their assets and liabilities. And because they are being themselves, you can be yourself with them too, no judgments whatsoever. Also, a shy guy is typically less likely to cheat on you as they don’t like drama and prefer to be honest.
5. They will find the cutest ways of expressing their love
One of the biggest benefits of dating a shy guy is that when they finally open their heart to you, they will cross all limits to keep you in their lives. You will be amazed at the adorable things they can do for you. If you are dating a shy guy with no experience and are wondering if he’s interested in you or not, then see if he displays any of these signs:
- Physical proximity: Does he find excuses to come close to you? Like, not touching you, but close enough? This is his way of expressing love
- Eye contact with you: When dating a quiet guy, he will make eye contact. And you will find him looking at you often. Learn how an introvert flirts in order to get to know your shy guy a little more
- Body language around you: When dating a shy guy, check for body language signs. Is he blushing? Is he taking deep breaths? Are his legs and torso turned toward you? Then he is expressing his interest without actually saying anything
- Shares his interests with you: Does he show you his music collection? Does he send you songs on WhatsApp? This is his way of letting you know he loves you
- Takes an interest in your life: He will make an effort to get to know your friends
- Sincere: If he tells you he will call at a certain time, you can bet he will call
20 Tips For Dating A Shy Guy
I am a diehard fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and my favorite character is Chandler Bing. Why? Because he is the complete package. He is smart, independent, witty, sensitive, and sexy in his own way. He just had one little flaw, which turned out to be quite a blessing ultimately. That little drawback was that he was extremely shy, especially around unknown women. He is the ultimate shy guy in the entire series.
Even if you have no idea who I am talking about, it doesn’t matter. You are reading this because you are planning to date a shy guy. And dating a shy guy requires some effort because he’s not like a macho, outgoing guy who brings about an air of fun and frolic wherever he goes. Shy guys are sensitive to your needs, have their own idea of fun, can be very calming to be around, and you need to make some effort (subtly) to get them to open up to you.
Related Reading: What You Should Know When Dating A Sensitive Man
1. Do not make his shyness a topic
He’s shy. Okay. It’s not a big deal. Don’t start talking about it with him or anyone else every chance you get. Find ways to make him comfortable at any party, but do it with subtlety. You’re not his savior, as he doesn’t need one. One of the first points to keep in mind is to never make him feel ‘less than’ or different from the people around you. Initially, when you are getting to know each other, you will have to be sensitive to his needs as they are different from yours.
2. Start conversations with topics that interest him
Shy guys in relationships do not open up easily. You have to make sure your shy boyfriend is comfortable in your company, talking will come secondary. Talk to him about things that he likes, for instance cars, movies, or books. Find shared and common interests. He will be comfortable discussing them and open up about other things as well. You can also make a shy guy comfortable by playing a game or doing an activity together. It’s important to have something besides just social interactions. It helps shy guys get even more comfortable.
3. Avoid asking a closed-ended question
If just one or two words like yes or no, tea or coffee can answer your questions, then you will not be able to start a conversation with him. If you are dating a shy guy, ask him whether he wants to go to the mall with you, ask him if he can suggest what to buy from the new electronics shop at the mall. You have to ask questions in a way that the answer leads to a positive action or gives him something to talk about. If you are dating an introvert or a shy guy, asking the right questions could help him open up, and who knows, you might find that he has a great sense of humor.
4. Choose the ideal way to communicate
Analyze how much he talks to you verbally and how much he opens up while chatting. If you feel he communicates better while chatting, then use chat more often. What if he likes to communicate via Snapchat and stories? Or through songs? Most shy guys thrive on text. It has an added benefit, you do not have to unnecessarily talk when you are tired as well! Here is a rulebook on how to text.
5. Take it slow
What’s it like dating a shy guy? This means he may not be as spontaneous as other men. You may find it completely normal to go out on a long drive out of the blue just because you feel like doing so, but for him, it could be too much to handle. He needs time to think about what he is going to say or what he will do. So do not rush him. Baby steps, in everything, baby steps.
Remember his biggest fear is not to put you off. And so he is most likely to be thoroughly prepared for anything from a simple movie to a detailed dinner date. Do not throw spontaneous activities on him. Don’t be discouraged. Dating a shy guy is amazing because as an introvert, he has unconventional ways of showing his love for you, which might surprise you.
6. Wait for him to ask you out on a date
No matter how tempting or frustrating it is, you should not ask him out. You can hang out with him more often or chat, but do not mention anything about going out on a date. Drop subtle hints that you like him but leave it at that. If he is really into you, he will ask you out eventually. Patience is key, you must have patience with a shy guy.
7. Avoid being the icebreaker
Dating a shy guy requires patience. There will be instances when there could be awkward silences between the two of you. That’s because he is thinking about his next move. Don’t ruin that for him by saying something that is not necessary at the moment. Those silences are magical. You must remember that a shy man is used to being on his own and will take his time. If you are willing to learn and be patient, things will work out.
8. Appreciate him
We know women love to be appreciated, but even men love genuine compliments. When dating a shy guy, appreciate his appearance, his wit, and every little gesture that has moved you. This will give him a chance to understand your likes and dislikes. This will make your shy boyfriend open up about his preferences as well, and you will get an insight as to what HE likes about you.
9. Balance the talk
Give him plenty of chances to speak. Ask him questions about himself. Ask him about his childhood, his hobbies, what kind of movies he likes. Ask him about his fitness regime or whether he writes a journal. In the process, you will learn so much about him as an individual. Be careful not to bombard him with too many questions. And do not keep an account of how much he talks. Not everyone needs to talk all the time.
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10. Accept his way of expression
When dating a shy guy, remember that you’re probably dating someone of a few words. You can’t expect him to shower praises on your new hairstyle or dress. Shy guys in relationships say a lot with the few sincere words they choose. His eyes will reveal it all as well. He may not be able to spontaneously give you compliments, but will surprise you later with a poem or a letter he wrote for you. Shy guys are sensitive, so if he realizes he said something he was not supposed to say, he may go further into his shell to avoid hurting you.
Related Reading: 5 Things That Happen When An Introvert Falls In Love
11. Be his confidante
Once he opens up to you, make sure you do not reveal any of his intimate details without his consent. No matter how trivial it may appear to you. If he has shared something with you and if you casually mention it elsewhere, he will be hurt. This, after all, applies to most people but with shy guys, you have to be extra vigilant to respect the little and large secrets they tell you.
12. Introduce him wisely
If you are planning to introduce him to your family or friends, try your best to choose a place where he is comfortable, like his favorite restaurant. He will know what to order or his way around, and so he will be more comfortable, as opposed to at a noisy party in a room full of strangers. To make a shy guy comfortable, ask him what he would prefer. Let him take the lead.
13. Do not take up all his free time
Do not expect him to spend all his free time with you. Shy guys in relationships are just like any other person. He too needs his own space. He might need more alone time than you. Even when you are just hanging out at each other’s place, let him do his own thing. He needs space; this is something you have to understand if you are dating a shy guy. Do not be on his case if he doesn’t respond to your text immediately. It’s okay if he doesn’t want to meet you when you offer. He’s not ignoring you, he’s just taking his time to get more comfortable with you.
14. Plan wisely
Give your suggestions about an outing or dinner, wait for his response, and then mutually decide on how and where you go. Being shy, he may not be able to plan outings according to your expectations, but he will be happy to be a part of your plan. Shy boyfriends prefer cozy moments at home cuddling and snuggling rather than dancing till dawn at a nightclub. If you take him out one weekend, let him take the call the next time.
Related Reading: Here’s How You Can Compliment Your Man’s Smile!
15. Stand by him in a crowd
Shy people get intimidated by unknown people, no matter how few they are. Help him deal with his social awkwardness by indulging in conversations that he is comfortable with. The moment you get the slightest hint of him being uncomfortable, find a way to get out or ask him what he needs.
16. His gifts will move you
He will remember what you said a month ago about wanting to buy a lamp for your desk that looks like a funny giraffe. He will get it for you. He will remember the scented candles you like, and will make sure you have them when you’re feeling stressed out. He loves you and will remember what’s important to you. He may not shower compliments all the time, but this is the way he will show his feelings. A subtle way of showing your love for him in return is by gifting him something romantic.
17. Do not interrogate him
While dating a shy guy might be amazing, there might also be some drawbacks. For instance, after you have spent a considerable amount of time, you might find that he still does not open up about anything or anyone. For instance, regarding his bond with his parents or siblings. Do not keep asking him about it. If you matter to him, he will eventually tell you. Otherwise, your interrogation might distance him.
18. Do not rush the relationship
After a lot of conversations, if you feel your shy boyfriend is not taking the relationship to the next level of intimacy, but he still loves to spend time with you, you will probably be a bit confused. Dating a shy guy with no experience might require great patience from you. He is most probably taking his time to know you, unlike other guys who just want to play with your feelings. So enjoy the slow process of getting to know each other more intimately. There’s magic in spending quality time together because you always discover new, fascinating things about each other.
19. Don’t mention his shyness in any argument
If you are dating a shy guy you will have your moments of disagreements just like any other relationships. However, even in the heat of the moment, do not mention how you had to adjust to him being shy. You can’t even imagine how much that’s going to hurt him. You may lose him forever. Remember, if you had to adjust to his shyness, he had to adjust to your loud, outgoing self as well.
20. Let him know you like him the way he is
Is he an introvert? Well, being an introvert is a personality trait. There is absolutely nothing negative about it. In fact, there are many benefits of dating a shy guy or an introvert guy. The most important step to making the relationship work is to get the whole idea that he is different out of your extroverted head. That boyfriend who you once described as shy and awkward is now your partner. And that you share a deep soulmate connection.
At the end of the day, a shy boyfriend will do everything that you expect out of any guy. It’s just that he may take his time and do it differently. If you are thinking about dating a shy guy, be ready to be pleasantly surprised once you have done your part well.