Dating involves a lot of thinking and effort. From making the best first impressions to analyzing body language, the process of dating comes with a lot of complexities. Add an introvert to this equation and the process becomes a lot more challenging and tiresome. Even simple tasks like initiating a conversation with a crush or asking someone out for a casual meet-up are quite hard on introverted souls. But with our dating tips for introverts, you can stop worrying.
Sometimes, it feels like introverts in romantic relationships are like a mystery. From the outside, they look so calm and composed, but inside they are flooded with lots of emotions. Always lost in their thoughts and highly sensitive to relationships, it always seems like dating is hard for introverts. But you know, we just might be wrong here.
Introverts usually radiate with intensity and depth in one-on-one conversations, which is actually a sign of a great date. So in reality, introvert dating problems are not actually a problem at all. If you are an introvert, you just need to overcome that initial hesitation while thinking about finding love. Believe in your inner qualities and see how you can successfully find true love.
How Do Introverts Find Love?
According to our relationship experts, introverts possess a great advantage over extroverts as an excellent date. They have a rich perspective of the world, are introspective in nature and possess depth of character. All these qualities have the potential to establish a potent love connection when dating as an introvert. Before finding love, introverts like you must try to find confidence in your own skin. You must believe in your natural qualities and be assured that sooner or later, you will definitely meet your romantic love interest and completely amaze them with your innate ability to love!
Due to your shy and reserved nature, people think you are naturally mysterious and evasive. This leads them to think you have endless introvert dating problems too. But think about it from a different point of view. Do you know this quality of being reserved might actually evoke curiosity and interest among the opposite sex about you?
Even without you realizing it, you are attracting their attention and they might just start gravitating towards you. So what you think might be one of the biggest introvert dating problems – could actually be your best weapon! Use that in your favor and see how you will increase your chances of finding love.
Moreover, it is well known that introverts are exceptional listeners. Thus, as a great listener, you can give your date the attention they desire deep down and understand them better. This presents you as a reliable and a loyal person who is attentive to even their minimal needs. In the long run, this can pave the way for deep conversations for an introvert dating an extrovert.
Related Reading: Are You Falling In Love Too Fast? 8 Reasons You Should Slow Down
Here Is Some Important Relationship Advice For Introverts
That being said, it cannot be denied that dating someone can be a taxing experience for introverts, mostly because they do not know or do not appreciate small talk. Introverts find it difficult to come up with brilliant conversation topics and often clamp themselves in a corner in large gatherings — that is, if they ever attend one.
So how does dating work for introvert people? It is but natural to feel awkward and shy when one considers dating — introvert or not. But does that mean introverts cannot date and cannot find love? No, not even remotely. Dating is hard for introverts but the tips given below can be helpful:
- Be honest about yourself: Being an introvert is absolutely fine — and there is no reason to hide it. Many girls prefer dating introvert men as they more understanding and compassionate. Introvert people do not really engage in flirting and that gives you an instant edge. You are looked upon are more sincere, more trustworthy and more reliable — so the biggest dating advice for introverts is to never hide who you are
- Do not compete — be the way you are: Sometimes, introverts may feel overwhelmed at the attention extroverts get. They walk into a room and the party comes to life, while an introvert walks in and ducks himself in a secluded corner. However, these are just personality traits and you should not try to compete with someone who is such a contrast to what you are. There is no need to pretend — so be the way you are and the right person will notice you
- Set the date in the right place: Introverts can get clumsy in large gatherings and huge crowds. When it comes to setting up a date, make sure you select a place that has secluded seating so that you can put your best foot forward. Initial dates set the tone for a strong relationship ahead, so be careful where you take your date when you start dating as an introvert
- Try online dating: It may not be possible for introverts to ask a girl out immediately, so try online dating. Set up your profile truthfully and do not hesitate to mention that you like coffee, earphones and your own company most of the times!
- Don’t shy away from small talk: Small talk does have a purpose — it is the way to connect to other people and subsequently go deeper into conversations. “But why can’t the world start with intense conversations right away?”, you may ask. Polite small talk helps people get comfortable with each other before moving into deeper conversations. Like a warm up, so do not shy away from making some small talk, no matter how annoying it seems to you
Related Reading: Is shyness in a man a turn-off?
25 Dating Tips For Introverts
Penny Bergdahl, a nurse in Manhattan has felt like an introvert all her life. So when she began going out with Dennis, a guy from her practice — she was scared to death. To start dating as an introvert was probably the hardest thing she felt like she was doing. Sooner, with practice and understanding of herself, she overcame her dating anxiety, accepted herself for who she was and became a master of this game!
Want Penny’s confidence and growth? Then these introvert dating tips are for you. After learning more about how you do posses the upper hand while dating as an introvert, it’s now time to put the basics in place with some interesting tips to help you find love.
- Be comfortable. As an introvert, your comfort levels are very important for quality date time. Prepare yourself to be relaxed in social settings before you make your first move, which is asking for a date with your crush
- Be approachable through your body language. Your body postures may reflect that you are guarded and unapproachable to the world, which could also make your date feel uncomfortable. You can work on it to improve your impression on the date. Take more space, keep your shoulders loose and don’t sit with crossed arms. Make eye contact. Don’t be reclusive. Smile, it is the best asset you have to come across as warm and friendly
Related Reading: Body Language And Its Role In Healthy Relationship
- Decline group dating requests. While group dates worked for many couples recently and have even helped many find the right partner, it may not work in the case of an introvert. An introvert may lack the charisma of shining in a group and might lose the attention of his/her crush to an extrovert who is more sociable and open. So, to avoid ending up invisible, try to avoid group dates and choose a one-on-one date for quality interaction
- Ditto for double dates. Involvement of extra people during the initial phases of dating might be taxing for you as an introvert. So, avoid it to have better chances of knowing your crush inside out. Make an excuse and withdraw from double dates if you can
- Use your limitation to your advantage. Introverts can form a few deep attachments as compared to the extroverts who are friendly with anyone and everyone in this world. Use this to your advantage and be confident enough to make your date feel really special
- Practice talking to your date. Take this dating advice for introverts and you will not regret it. A first date is like a make or break attempt to woo the opposite sex. Since introverts find it difficult to open up instantly, it is suggested you practice verbal and non-verbal responses for an affable first impression. Say somethings out loud to your dog, to the mirror or in the shower!
- Meet at a familiar place. Suggest meeting up at a familiar restaurant or a café to alleviate the anxiety of the unknown and be comfortable in that space. Keep the first date short and simple. Skim through the menu online and prepare for the date in advance. Sorting these plans out will help you focus solely on your date and keep yourself free from a flurry of distracting thoughts and first date nerves that would otherwise spell doom for you
- Don’t cancel last minute. Once the date is set, don’t succumb to the thought of cancelling it due to your nervousness. Overcome it by practicing being your natural self and go with the flow of the conversations
- Be who you are. Don’t try something new while preparing for a date. Introverts like you might end up feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable if they try to impress their date. Be natural and wow your crush with your intense qualities
- Be vocal about your introversion. Tell your date about your nature and clear their doubts about you being snobbish or disinterested in them. Chances are he/she is already intrigued by you and wants to know more about you. Opening up about your nature facilitates better bonding and paves a strong and mutually fulfilling bond together
- Initiate interest while listening to your date. Listening skills comes naturally to you. Make full use of it to establish empathy and a more meaningful connection between you both. Make eye contact and engage in an earnest conversation. Occasional nods or affirmations like interesting, nice, wow, etc. put you in a better place and make both, you and your date, comfortable
- Answer questions earnestly. Don’t just employ a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ to ward off your nervousness. This could be a big turnoff for your date. When he/she asks you a question, answer it honestly and avoid monosyllabic answers
- Keep the date engaged by asking him/her open-ended questions as well. This is truly one of the biggest online dating tips for introverts where it is important to keep the other person interested. When they answer, give them complete attention by listening to them with full focus. A tip – while asking questions, don’t move out of context. Keep the questions linked to the topic being discussed for a quality conversation and you’ll see how you just mind end up finding a good man or woman for yourself
- Observe keenly. Quiet introspection of their body language and meaningful pauses can make your first date establish a love connection between an introvert like you and an extrovert like them!
- Slow and steady wins the date. Yes, take this relationship advice for introverts and thank us later. As an introvert, you like to take things slow, which could be a blessing in disguise. Since he/she is already curious about you and wants to know more, they would like to meet you more often. A bonus — you get to spend more time with your crush with recurring dates
- Begin your dating phase with a friendship. Since your date already knows about your introversion, it would be the safest way to nurture the foundation of a long-lasting relationship. Say goodbye to the external pressures and all your introvert dating problems if you start with a friendship
- Be attentive. Don’t fiddle with the mobile when you are nervous in front of your date. It puts you right into a defeated body language. If you want to feel confident there and then, take a washroom break and relax with a few deep breaths. Trust us, it will definitely put you in a better and more confident position
Related Reading: Here’s how you can improve your relationship by listening better
- Bond if you find a like-minded partner. Yes, this tip helps greatly for an introvert dating an introvert. You both understand the struggles of being judged by the others as snobbish, but in reality you both are just timid souls unable to open up and express yourself clearly. This common trait will help you bond over your introversion quickly and who knows, it could be a start to a passionate affair as well
- When dating an extrovert. If you are an introvert dating an extrovert, a better opportunity to bond with them is to choose a date activity. You can book your tickets for a stand-up comedy show, or take him/her to a food tasting festival or a street fest — it’s not tough to find a plethora of opportunities for natural and quality interaction. You get more to talk about and you also get to show your date the real you
- Be wise. As an introvert, you know how to open up your cards wisely while conversing with your date. Be natural with them and don’t just give out a lot of information to them out of nervousness. This is especially one of the online dating tips for introverts where the dangers of online dating are many. Don’t give in to your impulses while interacting with your crush. Keeping a little aura of secrecy might work in your favor while dating the opposite sex
- Introspect for succeeding dates. Being reflective is your natural trait as an introvert, which also helps while dating the opposite sex. Contemplating how you could have interacted better with him/her could lead to more refined social skills during the second date
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- Be courteous. Display your courtesy and part on a positive note. This rule applies to both males and females, and regardless of whether you are an introvert or not
- Follow up after the date. Follow up the date with a phone call, or a text message after the date. No, you need not be anxious about this coming off as needy by texting someone back. Be natural and tell him/her how much you enjoyed the quality time spent during the date but don’t start double texting or getting clingy
- Don’t ruminate over a date. As an introvert, you might be tuned to relive every single moment, but that doesn’t mean you should curse yourself for any awkward moment or anxiety during a date. Focus on the positives and think about what worked well during this date
- Don’t take rejection to heart. Instead, use it to strengthen your perspective. Maybe you two weren’t meant to be. Maybe he/she doesn’t know you that well. So, take it constructively and stop blaming yourself if things go wrong
Related Reading: 8 sensible ways to deal with rejection in love
Dating for an introvert should not be a reason for shooting up anxiety levels — frankly the world gives us enough reasons for that. Instead, enjoy going out and getting to know someone new. You just might end up making a special connection.
Bonobology relationship experts strongly believe that every individual in this world has to have a chance to explore the gentle and beautiful side of human relationships. So take this dating advice for introverts and get going!
We hope that these 25 dating tips will help you shine as an introvert and get you the partner of your dreams. Embrace yourself and do share your introvert-extrovert dating stories with us and make dating an easier and happier event.