Do we love too much, respect too little?

Raksha Bharadia, the founder of Bonobology, an online portal on love, relationship and affairs candidly discusses an issue plaguing the modern Indian society and the couples who are in live-in relationships or marriage. The problem is we love too much and respect too little.

We love too much and respect too little

Love and relationships and related issues have always intrigued Raksha, and she is always looking for answers. As a part of her research, she has interviewed many across the Indian subcontinent and abroad to discuss issues the urban Indian population face in their relationships. She met Dr Kushal Jain, a clinical psychiatrist and he narrated to her several instances were couples (married or otherwise) approached him for consultation.

His conclusion was, a deep-rooted problem that has engulfed the Indian society today is that we have learnt to love our partner so much, we are ready to cross all barriers for them, yet somehow we take them for granted and do not give them the respect that they deserve.

One particular instance that remained with Raksha was that of a married couple with a small child. The wife, who was prone to frequent mood swings, often used to degrade her husband by saying mean things which had little or no basis.

The husband indeed gave his best efforts to pitch in for childcare and domestic tasks to support his wife, who had a part-time job. However, he was put off very firmly whenever she treated him unfairly and disrespectfully. He became disinterested even in lovemaking with her and finally wanted a divorce. The wife’s claim was she loved him too much, and in fact, it was true.

She could indeed take a bullet for him if she could. However, love is not the sole basis to keep a relationship going strong and steady. It depends on mutual respect and companionship for many years. Readers, what do you think? Express your views in the Comments section below!