When you are in the honeymoon phase, it is easy to lose sight of a few red flags and succumb to the dopamine and oxytocin rush. Worry not – we are here to give you a reality check by discussing the early signs of a good relationship! When you are starting a new relationship, be aware of your connection in four spheres – emotional, physical, intellectual, and shared interests/activities.
If you want to be each other’s partner for life, then you should feel safe and comfortable with each other (emotional), have great sex (physical), engage in mentally stimulating conversations (intellectual), and enhance your bond by partaking in interesting activities together (shared interests). If these are present in your relationship, then you needn’t fret. However, if these encouraging signs of a good relationship are (somewhat) missing in your romantic relationship, then read on to get an idea about the areas of improvement that you might have to involve into the daily folds of your life.
What Is A Good Relationship Supposed To Be Like?
Having the same interest in films, music, art, and literature isn’t one of the signs of a good relationship early on; it doesn’t guarantee a wholesome and sustainable relationship for the long term. Your relationship need not be perfect, but it HAS to be satisfying, happy and entail healthy relationship boundaries. And for that to happen, you need to say the magic words “I l love you”, and “I am sorry” when needed. You need to give each other space so that your individualities thrive; you need to be on the same page regarding the partaking of intimacy, and financial responsibilities.
You should also be each other’s safe space so that neither of you is tempted to reach out for emotional support from a third person. You shouldn’t have to think twice before opening your Pandora’s box and divulging your secrets. And of course, practice the holy grail of every relationship – communication. Healthy communication is one of the signs your relationship will last. You should be able to communicate your concerns, worries, and every other thought without hesitation.
What Are The Early Signs Of A Good Relationship
People often focus on the bad aspects of a relationship. There is very rarely any discussion about the signs of a healthy relationship. In a utopian world, every romantic relationship would be hunky-dory and there would be no conflicts or challenges. Sadly, this is often not the case in the real world and therefore you need to be aware of the signs of a good relationship early on to understand if the relationship is worth it.
For a secure romantic relationship, both partners need to work on their shortcomings and put in constant effort to make the relationship work. Healthy boundaries, open communication, mutual respect, acknowledgment of each other’s accomplishments, affection, and shared life goals and ideologies are all signs your relationship will last.
Let me list a few signs of a good relationship. It would help you understand the position you are in currently and plan accordingly.
1. You both are not just in it for sex
If your partner acts mechanical and detached after sex, then it is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Sex can be the central focus of a relationship if it’s casual or you are just hooking up for carnal pleasure. But if you want something long-term, then simple casual sex won’t seal the deal. If you want to know how much he loves you, observe his body language.
Cuddles, a good amount of pillow talk which need not revolve around sex, and of course, post-sex intimacy which can be anything from holding hands to reading a book together are signs that this relationship is what you wanted.
2. You share multiple interests
Sharing interests and hobbies is one of the early signs of a good relationship. That way you both get to be activity partners and spend more quality time. Imagine how exciting it would be to discover a new poet or a new artist from your favorite person or having intellectually stimulating conversations over your shared interest in cryptocurrency, climate change, or geopolitics.
However, it’s not a law written in stone that if you don’t have the same hobbies, it won’t work out. Dissimilar interests can also work if both respect each other’s hobbies. Contrary to popular belief, Couples with opposite personalities do attract each other.
3. You don’t give the “I am busy” excuse
No matter how busy you are in life, you can always spare a few moments to call/text your partner. Irrespective of the timeline of your relationship, always put in the effort to nurture it. Responding to texts in time, showing up for weekly/monthly dates, having quality phone calls every now and then are early signs of a good relationship.
Most people start taking it for granted after a while and it’s just not the right attitude if you want to be in a long-term relationship. Being there for each other even if you are busy is one of the biggest signs your relationship will last.
4. You both listen and communicate
Does your partner scroll through their phone or give one-word answers when you talk to them? Are they distracted or mentally absent when you are talking? If they do, then know that it doesn’t fall under the signs of a healthy relationship and you guys have serious communication issues.
Early signs of a good relationship entail both partners listening to each other patiently and remembering important details about each other. Also, communication is necessary even while having a fight or during tense situations – fleeing from the situation or being passive-aggressive is not a healthy way to deal with confrontation.
Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships
5. You are comfortable opening up
It’s natural to want to impress your partner during the honeymoon phase of your relationship but if you fear that to appear more desirable, you must hide your true self and you cannot be authentic, then it’s certainly not an encouraging sign of a good relationship.
What’s the point of a relationship if you can’t let your guard down and discuss your past with your loved one? If there is acceptance and understanding instead of criticism and judgment on both of your parts, then it’s one of the signs your relationship will last.
6. You celebrate their achievements
Celebrating each other’s accomplishments and rooting for the other is clearly one of the early signs of a good relationship as it helps to strengthen your relationship. Sometimes we tend to be insecure about our partner’s achievements but remember that at the end of the day, they are coming back home to YOU.
If you are in this for the long haul, then it’s time to let go of those jealousy-inducing thoughts and realize that you guys play for the same team and it’s both of you against the world. Be enthusiastic about their successes and wins and acknowledge their persistence, hard work, and talent.
7. You make a genuine apology when it’s your fault
A partner who isn’t controlled by their ego and is willing to say sorry when they have made a mistake is a keeper. Not keeping a score and a genuine apology are classic early signs of a good relationship. Avoid curt replies like “Ok”, “Never mind” and “Whatever” when you are having a fight.
If you and your partner take responsibility for your actions and are always accountable, then your future together is bright and sustainable. Disagreements are natural in any relationship, but bear in mind that a healthy couple fights fairly and tries to understand the other’s perspective.
8. You try out new things in the bedroom
You might have fantasies that include a threesome, using sex toys, or being out and kinky in dungeons and/or in the public – whatever it is, it’s important that you are able to reveal them to your partner without hesitation. Being able to be unapologetically yourself in the bedroom is one of the key early signs of a good relationship.
Sexual compatibility goes a long way in sustaining a relationship. If you guys are on the same page about kinky things ideas and sexual fantasies from the very start, it’s one of the encouraging signs of a good relationship.
9. You have mutual respect
Respecting each other and not trying to impose values or decisions on one another is another early sign of a good relationship. How can a relationship last if there is no mutual respect? When there is invalidation of feelings between partners, you cannot respect each other’s viewpoints.
Try to see things from the perspective of the other person. Don’t be too opinionated or rigid in your views; agree to disagree and don’t try to change one another.
10. You have similar life goals and values
Even if you don’t have the same passions and hobbies as your partner, the relationship can work. Problems arise when there are dissimilar life goals and values. Early signs of a good relationship include thinking on similar lines. It is a distress signal for your relationship if you can never meet your significant other halfway on certain things.
Let’s take the case of children for example. If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, ultimately, somebody must compromise? Also, if partners have different religious beliefs, then problems might arise as an atheist and a theist usually view life differently.
11. You two don’t have trust issues
A secure sense of attachment in both partners is one of the perfect early signs of a good relationship. If your past relationships have been positive, you have a high probability of having a heightened sense of maturity regarding attachment or commitment.
However, if your relationships have mostly been volatile, you could have trust issues that would affect your romantic relationship and you might be looking for signs of gaslighting even when they are telling the truth. When you treat each other well, can rely on each other, and find comfort, solace, and security in each other, then it’s a sign your relationship will last.
12. You both are financially sorted
When both partners are financially independent, it promotes harmony in their equation. Not having to ask your partner to pay all the bills and run the house leads to uncomplicated romantic lives, and is thus, one of the early signs of a good relationship. If one is financially dependent on the other, partners can quarrel amongst each other over financial security, responsibilities, loans, mortgages, and whatnot.
Things can become quite ugly if the topic of financial dependency is broached during a fight. That’s why it’s best to have your individual incomes sorted and have complete individual control over that aspect of life. Absolute financial independence might just be a sign that this relationship is what you want.
Related Reading: Sharing Expenses In A Relationship – 9 Things To Consider
13. Your efforts are consistent
Consistency paves the way for trust which, in turn, makes a couple more intimate with each other. Keeping your promises is probably the best early sign of a good relationship. Make sure that you both initiate a conversation, DO NOT respond to texts occasionally, spend time talking about how your day went and try to come up with date ideas that are fun.
you are committing to something, then you try your best to do it – this includes calling when you said you would call and not canceling plans at the last minute. You must be familiar with the adage “Action speaks louder than words?” That’s it…let your actions speak for themselves.
A relationship can be deemed unhealthy if the negatives start outweighing the positives. Some red flags include being micromanaged and controlled, having to give up things you enjoy or love, not having space, neglecting non-romantic relationships, feeling obligated to spend time with each other, physical violence, and lack of communication.
Some of these problems can be worked upon through proper communication, understanding, and patience. Stressful times can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms which can affect romantic relationships. Don’t be too harsh on yourself or your partner if you are going through a relationship crisis. Try to assess the root cause and work on it. Try and get a counselor’s help. A skilled counselor can help you get to the bottom of your issues, work through them and steer your relationship in the right direction. With Bonobology’s panel of licensed and experienced counselors, the right help is only a click away.