“If this were a different time, a different place, I would take you to bed with me and make love to you for days.”
― Anne Stuart, Black Ice.
What are the signs he enjoys making love to you? If you’ve wondered something along those lines during or after your intimate moments with your partner, know that you’re not alone. We have received many queries from women wanting to know this very thing: whether their man is making love or just using them for sex. They want to make sure that the man enjoys making love to them just as much as they do.
Women today want to experience intense and passionate lovemaking sessions. They want to explore their sexuality with the person they have given their hearts to. That becomes easier when you know that what you have with your partner qualifies as love, and not just lust. Does he make love to you or just succumb to bodily lust?
Though there is nothing wrong with a little lust in life, sex becomes a hundred times more pleasurable and satisfying when it is driven by passionate love. To help you figure out which side of the spectrum you lie on, we list out the most common signs that indicate that your man loves to make love to you.
21 Signs He Enjoys Making Love To You
Making love can be the most beautiful experience we can have while connecting with another person we feel attached to. If you are in love, you want the sex to be driven by that all-consuming romance. You want to lose yourself in your partner, and you want your partner to lose himself in you. The act of mere sex, which is normally without much emotional connection, when compared to making love, can be as different as chalk and cheese.
A lot of women deal with this, whether they are married, dating, or in an extramarital relationship. For instance, even when you see signs that a guy is really turned on by you, it can be hard to decipher whether it is because he loves making love to you or driven by his carnal urges.
Owing to that, you may feel that you are missing out on the emotional aspect of this very physical act and feel a lingering sense of mild dissatisfaction. “Is my partner using me just for sex? Is what we have just a physical affair?” Interestingly, these thoughts and the need for reassurance that the act of sex is stemming from a place of love are more predominant among women.
Women usually give more and somehow get used to expecting less, especially between the sheets. If she sees signs the kiss meant something to him, she may even make peace with not getting her share of pleasure in the bedroom. But it is important to know how your partner behaves with you in bed is also a way of knowing what you mean to him outside of it.
If all his actions are about getting you into bed till the next time you see or speak to him, then it’s obvious he is in the relationship just for sex. But if he’s involved with his heart, mind and body and thinks about your needs too, he’s making love with you and not just having sex. Here are 21 signs to know if he enjoys making love to you for sure:
1. It shows in his eyes
The way he looks at you says a lot about how he feels about you. While having sex, if he takes a short break just to look into your eyes with love and passion, it means he is into you and wants to capture the moment with you. When a guy looks at you while kissing, it’s his way of conveying he loves you without saying it.
You can feel his love for you in his eyes, and you will know that he is completely immersed in this act and enjoying making love to you. Of course, if the sexual position you’re in doesn’t make eye contact possible, it’s a different story. But say you’re in missionary, and your faces are aligned toward each other, actively avoiding eye contact would naturally appear weird.
If he tries to avoid eye contact, there could be two possibilities: he could either be feeling shy or awkward, or it could be a sign he may like to have sex with you but doesn’t love you anymore. If he pauses just to have a glimpse of you in the middle of sex, it shows he loves you but might be feeling shy.
But when a man blatantly and confidently locks his eyes into yours in the act of making love, it is a way of him reading your responses so that he can bring you even more pleasure. Be assured he is with you because of love.
2. He will smother you with kisses
How to tell he loves you by his kiss? Well, just think back to your first kiss and how it made you feel. Those butterflies in the stomach multiply when you kiss the person you love. When he wants you, all of you, you and he both will relive that heady feeling over and over every time your lips lock.
Men who are with you just for sex would simply get down to business and get it done with. You’ll feel a sense of urgency in his kisses, as though he’s simply waiting for what’s coming next. When the kiss in itself becomes a way of expressing your emotions, it makes the entire thing a lot better.
He will kiss you all over your body over and over again. He will smother you with kisses and that is a way of showing that he cannot get enough of you. In the act of kissing, his desire for you becomes more obvious than anything. The way he kisses you will make you feel the intensity of his love for you. These are all signs the kiss meant something to him.
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3. He will be a giver
One of the ways he shows you he loves you without saying it is when he prioritizes your desires and pleasure in bed. He will arouse you and make you moan. He will indulge in foreplay. He will also stimulate your erogenous zones to make sure you get in the mood.
He will go down on you and ask you what you would enjoy. He will ask you whether he is going too fast or too slow. It’ll be very clear to see that this experience is a shared one, and not a selfish endeavor to get him off. His moans and involvement will tell you how much he enjoys being with you and in your arms.
4. You both will have a lot to talk about
Making love isn’t just about sex. There are deep and meaningful conversations post-session, a.k.a. pillow talk. And in those intimate conversations, he will bear his soul to you, his fears and strengths, his dreams and desires, his past traumas and how he healed from them.
Many hidden issues do come out during these conversations and go a long way in making the relationship stronger and even more beautiful. Some of them could be about you too. He will tell you things that he may not have told anyone before. The depth of these conversations will show how much you mean to him.
He is not just fulfilling a physical need, but he enjoys confiding in you and sharing intimate moments with you. These are all signs he enjoys making love to you. If you see these in your relationship, breathe easy. Your man is besotted with you.
5. He will build up the passion
He will indulge in more foreplay to warm you up and make you feel that he is truly enjoying making love to every part of your body. Your man will ask about your sex fantasies and dreams. He will take the time to get you fully aroused, either by slow kissing or playing with your erogenous zones.
One of the unmistakable signs a guy is really turned on by you is that he will make sure you are as ready as he is for the final act and want it as much as he does. He will not rush into anything. When a man enjoys making love to a woman, he relishes every moment of the act and doesn’t fixate on his orgasm alone.
Do remember that every time you have sex, it need not be long and elaborate. Sometimes he may be in the mood for a quickie, and sometimes you can be too. But what separates lovemaking from sex is that even these quick sessions don’t feel hollow.
6. He will take your name
If you’re looking for signs he loves you when making love, pay attention to what he says during the act. Notice his words when he is in the throes of passion. If he calls your name often, it is his way of showing that it is YOU, all over!
You are the one that is giving him this pleasure, and whispering your name during the act just heightens that pleasure for him by making him feel more connected to you. Hearing your name during such intimate moments can be etched in the memory forever. Remember to speak out his name too and make him feel special.
7. He wants more of you
Men are usually done once they reach the climax. Normally, men are inclined to go off to sleep after they are done. In cases where it was actually the man who was doing most of the heavy-lifting in the sexual positions, it is important to remember that he may be genuinely tired.
Even so, when a man is emotionally invested and connected to you, he will take the time to show you how much he has enjoyed being with you. Even after he reaches his climax, he will pull you into him and shower you with affection. He will find ways to show you how happy he is with you, even if it’s for a few minutes. These are all signs he enjoys making love to you.
Another crucial aspect to keep an eye out for is whether he helps you climax? Remember, men who care about their women pay attention to exploring and learning about female sexual anatomy. That’s important.
8. He will stay over
This is for couples who are not yet married or living together. If a man just goes his way after sex, it can make a woman feel very low about herself. Karen’s boyfriend has this tendency to hurriedly get dressed and leave after sex, on one pretext or the other.
She confided in her best friend, “It seems as if when he is done with what he wanted, he can’t even be in the same space that I am. It is almost humiliating.” And then, she would start wondering if all he wanted from her was to satisfy his physical urge.
If he cares about you, he will stay over because he knows how going away feels. Maybe the two of you can cook together or simply sip on wine and chat. Or perhaps even watch a show together. Or hug tightly and then sleep.
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9. He gets emotional at times
These intimate moments are the times when many men share and express their deep-seated emotions. It is when their softer sides come out. All the complaints you may have about him being non-expressive can be quenched during or after lovemaking.
One of the tell-tale signs he loves you when making love is that intimacy will be as important to him as the act itself. He may get emotional, in fact, over-emotional, during these moments with you. Do not freak out if you see the side of his eyes brimming or an altogether different bare-all kind of expression in his eyes.
Maybe he’ll hide in your bosom to feel safe, or maybe he’ll hug you tight to show you’ll be safe with him. Whatever he does, it’ll probably radiate good vibes, which is how you can tell if a man is making love to you.
10. He shows his longing for you
He won’t care if he comes across as desperate. He loves you, loves the act that the two of you share, and he will not hesitate to show how much he craves you, both physically and emotionally. He can take the risk of being too available and vulnerable.
He may book a staycation in a five-star resort or do up his place in beautiful lights and scented candles just to make you feel loved and cherished. Your partner may serve you wine and canapes to show you how much he is looking forward to being with you.
Don’t be surprised if he buys a special satin bedspread or a silk robe for you to make lovemaking more special. These are signs a guy is really turned on by you and also emotionally connected to you.
11. He will try to experiment
When a man is confident in the woman he loves and sure about where he stands with her, he may ask her about her fantasies and offer to explore them with her. He will go to lengths to understand how to make her orgasm, in fact, have multiple orgasms, and work toward that.
Among the clear signs that he enjoys making love to you is his drive to satisfy you in bed, over and over. He may even experiment with sex toys or bondage if that’s more up his alley and you’re okay with it. This is his way of telling you that he wants the lovemaking between the two to be even richer and more fulfilling. Men want to experiment only when they enjoy making love with a particular person.
12. He will call you after
One of the signs that he has loved being with you and really enjoyed the lovemaking session is when he makes plans to meet you again, maybe for a coffee or a meal. Just hang out in a park or with your friends. If he calls you and talks about it, it means that you made a lasting impression on him and he can’t stop thinking about you.
He loves you and enjoys being intimate with you. Check out how his voice sounds while talking about it. Is it affectionate? Your answer to whether or not he enjoys making love to you lies there.
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13. He will look happy and content
After having sex, once you both lie in bed next to each other, there will be a glow and a smile on his face. He won’t just turn to his side to go off to sleep, which can be very annoying. He will look at you lovingly, which is, in a way, saying that you are the person for him. Some men just hold hands after the act, some go and make a cup of tea for their woman.
If your lovemaking session had a special relevance, say it was your first time together, it’ll be pretty apparent that he’s in a state of tranquility post-sex. When you experience something like this, you will find the answer to “what does making love mean to a guy?” The look on content on his face will tell you all you need to.
14. He will make breakfast for you
When a man feels a deep emotional connection to a woman, he loves to make her happy. It’s his way of showing he loves you without saying it. And most men know that it is the little things that bring women true joy. For instance, a thoughtful gesture like breakfast in bed after a night of passionate lovemaking is something that one just can’t go wrong with.
So, your man may try it. If he makes your tea and coffee just the way you like it, or if despite his limited culinary skills, he’s tried to make the perfect spread of poached eggs with sausages, bacon, and toast, he’s probably not just in it for a one-night stand. It’s these ways of showing affection that should tell you all you need to know.
To make breakfast for you, he may have ordered your favorite sausages, and bacon ahead of time or got the blueberries that you love having. He actually did his online grocery shopping keeping your faves in mind. How cute is that!
15. He says it – every time without fail
When a man loves what he has shared with you, he will find ways to express it. He will message you more, maybe send you a morning greeting, he may send you flowers, and he may also buy you little things to make you feel special.
Every little gesture is his way of telling you he loves you without saying it. You have to read the signs, that’s all. And if you are lucky enough to have one of those few men who can express themselves in words, then you can be sure to be smothered by their expression of love.
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16. You’ll feel extremely comfortable with him
If you’re trying to figure out how to know if he enjoys you in bed or not, perhaps the answer lies in how comfortable you two can be around each other. When you’re with someone who makes you feel like you can truly be yourself, all your inhibitions go out the window.
You’re not going to be worried about the legs you forgot to shave, the coffee breath you may have or any other insecurity you may have in relationships. In that moment, you’re unapologetically your real self, and you’ll see that he is, too. Without a care in the world, you’ll be opting to embrace your individuality and showcase it to him. Once you’re this comfortable with him, it’s a sign he’s making love to you, not just fulfilling a primal need.
17. You can share a laugh with him
Sex really isn’t that serious, though some people make it out to be. If you and him can slow down in the middle of sex, share a laugh, share a moment together, that’s when you truly realize your lustful needs have taken the backseat. It doesn’t always have to be “all systems go”, sometimes it can be as laid back as laughing at a funny sound your bodies made.
Perhaps one of the biggest signs he is making love to you and not just trying to get off is when he knows he can pause to share a moment with you. In the middle of it, looking into each other’s eyes, laughing at something funny you said. Intimacy doesn’t really get any better than that.
18. He leaves no stone unturned in his grooming
Even if he generally practices good hygiene, you’ll still be able to notice a little bit of extra effort put into grooming, just for you. Perhaps he’s wearing an expensive cologne, or he’s put on his best shirt. If you two went out on a date, his clothes probably won’t be shabby and dirty, and he’s going to make sure he’s looking his best for you.
Even if you’re just meeting him at home, he’s going to make sure he gives you no reason to complain. Nails? Neatly cut. Hair? Trimmed. Shave? Unless you’ve told him a beard turns you on, expect him to be clean shaven.
19. He remembers what you like
If this isn’t your first time hitting the hay with him, you might notice he’s doing a few things you’ve told him you like. One of the signs a guy is really turned on by you is when he makes sure you’re having fun as well, and he might accomplish that by doing specifically what you told him about last time.
So watch out for the moves he uses or if he does something you told him about. When you want to tell if he’s making love to you or not, his attentiveness and retention of the information you gave him should tell you all you need to know.
20. He talks about more than just your body
Expect compliments like “You’re so hot” to not be all he resorts to. While figuring out how to know if he enjoys you in bed or not, notice the kinds of things he talks about in the heat of the moment. If he’s talking about how much he likes you as a person and how you make him feel, it’s a sign he’s making love to you.
“You make me feel so happy”, “I love the way you talk, it makes me feel so invested”, “You’re the kindest person I know, I love that about you” are all compliments that might come your way if he’s looking past your body. Which is definitely a hard thing to do, given how attractive you are.
21. You always have a lot of fun together
Sometimes, sex can end up feeling like a soulless affair, one that you’re partaking in solely to get done with your physical needs. When it’s the opposite of that with him, know that it’s a clear indication of the intimacy you share with him. What does “making love” mean to a man? Making love means cherishing every single moment he shares with you, not just sex. If you’re all smiles and tickles and cuddles when you’re with this man, you should rest easy knowing that your affiliation with him isn’t solely physical.
When you become physically intimate with the person you love, it is not just the body that is raw and naked. Two people when in love open themselves to each other’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Respect his and be honest with yours and enjoy this beautiful union of not just two bodies but two souls. Experiencing this is in itself one of the biggest signs he enjoys making love to you and you to him.