This quote by Rihanna should serve as a reminder to anyone who is trying to survive a bad breakup: “Just believe that the heartbreak was a gift in itself. Cry if you have to but it won’t be forever. You will find love again and it will be even more beautiful. In the meantime, enjoy all that YOU are.” Easier said than done perhaps! Finding happiness after a breakup might seem next to impossible when your heart is going through hell.
Every single moment, the memory of a place, a date, a sweet gesture leads you to shed pools of tears and your breath seems to be stuck in your gut every other night. Unfortunately (or fortunately!) life does not stop for anyone. As much as you think you won’t get over it, you ultimately do learn to move on from the past.
However, the question is – can you completely forget what happened, accept the scars and march ahead? In other words, can you stay positive after a breakup?
Is It Possible To Be Happy After A Breakup?
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The one-word answer to this question is yes. There is life after a breakup, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You will find happiness after a breakup. Your belief in love will not die after a breakup. It won’t most definitely be easy but you can have the sass to get up again, brush off the dust and heal completely from the wounds.
A breakup is nothing short of a deep wound. It would be futile to even state otherwise. When you are deeply in love, it means that you have built dreams around a person and have traversed a certain journey with them. So a life without them seems next to impossible to survive.
To have that snatched away from you, especially if you have been at the receiving end of a betrayal or infidelity or misunderstanding, can be devastating and leave you shocked. But know that sadness does not last forever and you can have a chance at happiness after a breakup, however awful it might have been.
So if you’re spending every Friday night watching romcoms, feeling terrible about yourself and screaming at the universe, “Will I ever be happy again after the breakup?”, then it’s time to stop. We don’t know what the universe told you but we can certainly tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you are definitely very close to it.
Want to manifest happiness after a breakup and get on with your life? We can help you make that happen. However, there is a condition that is non-negotiable: you should be willing to put in the effort and learn how to be a strong person after a breakup, without looking back. If you can do that, then half the battle is won already.
Related Reading: How Soon Can You Start Dating Again After a Breakup?
12 Ways To Find Happiness After Breakup And Heal Completely
The first and foremost rule of finding happiness after a breakup is that you need to accept that it’s over. Yes, everyone is going to tell you that acceptance is the key. Don’t hate on your ex, don’t abuse them and do not resent them. If you truly want to be happy on the inside, you have to also forgive them.
Hollywood beauty Anne Hathaway said it perfectly, “I think the thing I have learned is that a bad love experience is no reason to fear a new love experience.” Take it from her, it’s important to empower yourself after a breakup not just for your own mental health but so you can also accept with open arms whatever new and beautiful things life wants to offer.
Your world should not and does not begin or end with one person. Right now you might be thinking that they’re the one but that’s only because you are still feeling incredibly attached to them. So let’s snip whatever is holding you close to them and set you free. Here are 12 ways to find that elusive happiness after a breakup that will make you heal completely and perhaps even feel you leaving grateful for whatever happened.
1. Don’t deny your pain
Shut off all the people who say things like, “Move on, forget it.” No, you can’t just move on at the snap of a finger and if they’ve ever been in love, then they know that too. The first rule of seeking happiness after a breakup is to dive deep within your pain and to really feel it. Yes, we do mean that.
It’s important that you feel and express every single emotion that this breakup is causing you instead of overlooking it and letting it fester within your heart. Yes, it will cause you more hurt and bouts of incessant sadness but it is necessary to explore it and let it all come out in the open.
Unless you cleanse your system, you cannot make space for newer, happier emotions. So cry it out. Talk it out to a sympathetic friend or counselor. Try journaling. Every act of purging will be an act of healing and will help you improve yourself after a breakup. And that is how you get on the path to find inner happiness after a breakup.
2. To empower yourself after a breakup, cut them off from social media
It is difficult but once the final breakup happens, do not revisit them or keep making rounds of all their online profiles. It won’t be easy to forget them, but as a first step, block them from social media. Seeing pictures of posts will only trigger hurtful memories and set you two steps back on your healing journey.
Resist the temptation of stalking, texting or calling them. You might even end up doing so, despite knowing otherwise and that’s okay too. Don’t bash yourself for it either. You are allowed a few mistakes as you try to find yourself after a breakup.
3. How to be happy after a breakup? Learn the art of self-love
It is but natural to question why the split happened and what went wrong in your relationship. And in the process of overthinking and over-analyzing every detail, it is easy to blame yourself and say that you were solely responsible for being in this situation.
Perhaps there is some blame on your part too, we don’t deny it. But that’s okay because nobody is perfect and not every relationship is meant to last. However lousy you feel about the incident, do not let that affect your own self-esteem. Learn to love yourself and we guarantee you that you will be able to manifest happiness after a breakup.
If you let more goodness radiate from yourself, the universe will continue to reward you with more. So do everything that you can to feel strong and happy within yourself. Be it a bubble bath or going on a holiday or taking off on a health retreat, every act of yours henceforth should be to reinforce your self-belief and self-love.
Related Reading: 15 Clever Ways to Turn Down An Ex Who Wants To Be Friends
4. Have positive thoughts after a breakup – don’t let hate or anger consume you
As you play the breakup chat (if you have had one) in your head in a loop, you will slowly realize that the pain and sadness will be replaced by anger and hate. You will perhaps never get the answer to why it happened, which will leave you even more frustrated. You can be angry, it’s allowed but do not let that become an obsession.
How to be happy after a breakup? Take a break from replaying the past in your mind on a loop and do something completely different from your to find happiness after a breakup. Binge-watch movies, listen to inspiring talks or take up a new activity within your job – something that pushes you out of the comfort zone.
Have positive thoughts after a breakup instead of fixating on all those negative emotions which will only hold you back. Involving yourself in a challenging task or a new enterprise will help you not to get consumed by the hate and control anger much better.
5. Get support and seek help to manifest happiness after a breakup
Whatever you do, do not be alone in this journey of finding happiness after a breakup. Confide in a close group of friends who you know will lift you with their energy and show you that there is much more beauty in the world. In fact, this is the time to seek professional help and even try therapy. It can be a healer or counselor or just living with your mom for a week. But do not go through this alone.
While you are spending time with friends, also do take care that you do not endlessly only talk about the split and keep revisiting old wounds. Don’t ramble about your ex over every drink, at every party or on every phone call with a friend. Vent but don’t make it all about your past relationship.
Also, ensure that you are with the right circle and are around empathetic friends who understand your need to heal and won’t judge you. Surrounding yourself with the right support is most essential if you want to empower yourself after a breakup.
6. Learn to enjoy your own company and find inner happiness after a breakup
While it is necessary to lean on friends and counselors to get through this tumultuous time, do not become a slave to their support. After the initial phase is over, learn to enjoy your own company too. If you really want to learn how to be happy after a breakup, do things alone that you earlier did with your beau.
If that means going to a movie alone, then, by all means, do it. If it means going to a restaurant alone, do that as well. Of course, it would be awkward and painful the first few times, but then you will gradually get used to it. And who knows, you might even start enjoying it? Don’t give up on your mission to find happiness after a breakup.
7. Accept every invitation
Stop asking yourself, “Will I ever be happy again after the breakup?” Go out there and make it happen. To do so, here is a practical tip to get over your breakup. Say yes to every invite in town. A bad split can leave you exhausted and awkward to meet people, given that there might be personal questions asked.
However, a night about town, meeting new people and having conversations might just be the antidote you need. You should even consider ways of meeting men or women to try your hand at dating again. At the very least, it will be a good ego boost and you might just make a friend.
How to be happy after a breakup, you had asked? Well sometimes, reveling and rebelling against your situation helps in quelling the pain that is bound to exist. Join new activity groups or meet-ups in town. Attend new plays or dances or any other cultural activities that are happening in the city. Try going on a blind date! Also, try and host some of your own parties to draw new people in and open yourself up to experiences.
8. How to find happiness within yourself after a breakup? Nourish your body
Even before the tears dry up, here’s what you need to do – pull yourself together and join a yoga or a Zumba class. The mental agony can impact your body easily, leading you to eat unhealthy stuff, neglect yourself and become a couch potato. How to be happy after a breakup is about transforming your mind and body inside out. And this is one of the ways to do that.
If you punish yourself with an exercise routine when you are at your lowest, you will thank yourself months later. Exercises release happy hormones that will counter the inner negativity and you might just learn to develop positive thoughts after a breakup. This is another form of seeking self-love after a breakup.
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You
9. Explore casual dating to empower yourself after a breakup
Now, this is tricky territory so read closely before you do it all wrong. Ideally, you should not date on the rebound to keep your feelings intact and avoid spiraling into something much worse. But if you promise to keep it light-hearted and casual, getting back into the dating ring might provide a way to find happiness after a breakup. Sign up on Tinder or other dating apps and try to connect with new, interesting people.
Remember that you will have to exercise immense control here. Do not make the mistake of getting too involved or breadcrumbing someone. Keep it light and casual. Enter the dating arena not with the purpose of having revenge sex or making your ex jealous but to meet good, funny people to remind yourself that you’re desired and allowed to have some fun. You will just be surprised at what it does to your self-esteem.
10. Work on your career
How to find happiness within yourself after a breakup? Nurture the commitments that are important to you and will make you feel your best. For some that could be an activity like cycling or cooking. For others, it can be their job.
When a relationship becomes all-consuming, work and career can take a backseat. Of course, that may not be true if you have an impeccable work-life balance but it is possible that you may have had less time to pursue your goals because you were busy giving your all to your relationship.
Think of your breakup having kickstarted a golden period for you. Now is the time to marry your career goals. Sign up for a new course that you always wanted to do. Work hard toward your promotions. A bad breakup can take away your agency and making strides in your career is one way to reclaim it.
11. Be mindful of your own social media behavior too
You may have blocked your ex from social media to keep the negative thoughts away but it is important that you watch your own online behavior too. The best tip is to keep it neutral. Don’t go over the top to show people that you are doing just fine (when you might be breaking inside!). You may feel the need to post everything from his favorite avocado toast in the morning to pictures with a new guy friend at work but you should stop.
Also, resist the temptation to post cryptic messages or deep meaningful quotes that leave your followers guessing and making up stories. And definitely avoid mentioning your ex or your breakup on your SM or displaying how you have found happiness after breakup.
Related Reading: How Social Media Affects Your Relationships
12. How to be happy after a breakup? Learn to love your past including your ex
If after all of the above, you still find yourself haunted by memories of your ex, accept it. When you practice self-love, you will need to love and nourish all parts of you including your past of which he was an integral part. To find inner happiness after a breakup, it is imperative that you do this.
Hating on them or harboring negative sentiments is not going to help you anyway, you might as well accept that you still love them. Sometimes this deep love can be the antidote to any resentment you may feel toward your ex, allowing you to completely break away from your feelings. When they no longer affect you and you see that you now have positive thoughts after a breakup, that’s when you have really won.
A breakup is a life event that can alter your life and your perception of relationships. Hence it is important to watch out for how you behave after the split. Believe that every negative incident in your life can also lead to something good, however slow it might seem. It is possible to find happiness after a breakup, to rediscover and rebrand yourself and everything you do. You should aim to reach that goal.
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FAQs
Yes, you can be happy after a breakup. The healing process will take time but if you learn to love yourself, seek adequate support, focus on your other goals, you can slowly forget the pain caused by a bad breakup.
Devote time for exercise, look after your physical and mental wellbeing, spend time with friends, seek professional help and focus on your career goals. These steps can help you move on and seek happiness after a bad breakup.
Needless to say, it will depend on the intensity of your relationship. If the breakup has caught you by surprise and it has happened suddenly, the feelings will last longer and you might even undergo depression after a breakup. If however, the relationship has lived its course and you both know the inevitable, the pain would be less.
Yes absolutely, you might feel a mixed bag of emotions after a breakup. From questioning why it happened to regretting it and thinking about what you could have done to prevent it, you may also feel anger and hatred.
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