16 Ways To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You

Break up And Loss | | , Writer
Updated On: December 19, 2023
How to make him regret not choosing you
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How to make him regret not choosing you? I’ve spent a better part of my college years mulling over this question after a guy I had developed really strong feelings for told me he couldn’t go out with me anymore after a couple of months of dating. He wasn’t ready for a relationship, he said. But just weeks later, he was going out with one of my friends. That sure added insult to injury.

I was 18 back then and surely didn’t handle the situation too well. Acting out in social settings where my ex showed up with his new girlfriend (and my friend), spending weekends in bed wallowing, thinking about how could I possibly get him to regret what he did and come back to me, being vulnerable in front of him in the hope that he’d see how much he meant to me and feeling like a fool later on, I messed it up in every way possible.

Two decades later, my behavior from that time still makes me cringe. With the benefit of hindsight and experience, I can say with certainty that’s not the answer to how to make your ex regret leaving you. So if you’re wondering how to make him regret hurting you or even how to make him regret losing you and want you back, allow me to share what life’s experiences have taught me so that you can handle this situation better than I did.

Why Do You Want To Make Him Regret Rejecting You?

Before we get to what to do or what to say to make him regret hurting you, I want you to introspect about the reasons. Ask yourself, why is it so important for you to make him regret rejecting you?

  • Is it because you’re hurting?
  • Is it because you’re holding on to hope that if only he sees the error of his ways, he’ll realize how good you can be together?
  • Are you hoping for a reconciliation?
  • Do you feel if only he could admit he regrets not choosing you, you would get the closure you need and move on?

The answer to this question will not only help you figure out how to make him regret not choosing you but also — and more importantly — tell you whether it’s a pursuit worth your time. For instance, if you’re doing this because you’re hurting, seeing that he regrets his choices can definitely blunt the pain to some extent.

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If your intent is to figure out how to make him regret losing you and want you back, know that it may or may not happen. And even if it does, there is no guarantee that you will find your happily ever after with this guy. And if you’re doing this for closure, his regret or lack thereof won’t help. Closure comes from within. While an apology from an ex can help, it won’t necessarily help you move on unless you find it within yourself to let the past go.

If upon introspection, you still feel that you need to make him regret ignoring you or not choosing you, I’m here to help. Let’s help you figure out how to make your ex regret leaving you.

16 Tips On How To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You

If there is one thing I’ve learned from that particular failed relationship and other not-so-pleasant romantic experiences, it’s that the best approach in such situations is to become the kind of girl guys regret losing. The answer to how to make him realize what he lost is not in making a fool of yourself in front of him or coming across as a desperate, insecure woman spewing hateful words and badmouthing him to get his attention.

If anything, these actions will only prove to him that he made the right choice. So, whether you’re wondering how to make a guy regret ghosting you, how to make him regret losing you and want you back, or want to make him regret ignoring you, these tips will help you:

Related Reading: 8 Signs You Are In A Rebound Relationship

1. Work through the hurt

In the wake of a breakup or rejection, you may find yourself fixating on how to make your ex regret leaving you or make a guy regret not choosing you. However, it’s important to remember that emotions run high at a time like this and you never make the best decisions when reacting from a place of vulnerability. So, the best thing you can do when trying to figure out how to make him realize what he lost is not to react or come up with an action plan immediately.

Take the time to process the hurt, lick the emotional wounds, invest in self-care, and take care of yourself. Once you’re more in control of your emotions, you will be better equipped to decide whether it’s even worth trying to make him regret playing you. And if so, what’s the best way to go about it.

2. Accept that a guy not choosing you doesn’t define your worth

How to make him realize your worth, you wonder? Well, before you can make another person realize your worth, it’s important to assess whether your sense of self-worth is in place. Being rejected by someone can dent your self-esteem and make you dependent on external validation to feel worthy of love and affection. That’s why it’s vital that before you make a guy see what you’re worth, you know and realize it yourself.

  • Remind yourself that you are worthy as you are
  • Use positive words of affirmation to rebuild your self-esteem
  • Practice self-love
  • Pay attention to your inner dialogue, and make a conscious effort to quell any critique, judgment, or shame from it

3. Open yourself to new experiences and adventures

How to make him regret losing you? Keep yourself busy by doing the things that you absolutely love doing and open yourself to new experiences and adventures. Enjoy your single life to the fullest. Explore new hobbies and interests. Look for ways to connect with like-minded people. These experiences will help you discover new things about yourself, enhance your personality, and help you blossom into a better and happier version of yourself. In other words, this will help you come into your and become the kind of girl guys regret losing.

4. Limit contact but don’t cut him out completely

To make someone regret treating you badly, not choosing you, or hurting you, that person still needs to be a part of your life. However, if you don’t limit a guy’s access to your life after he has hurt you, he may start taking you for granted and never really appreciate you for who you are. So, you need to walk a tightrope between staying in touch and keeping him on the sidelines.

Engage with him once in a while on social media or text, and talk casually if you ever meet him. Keep your dynamics polite and courteous but don’t give him the same attention and importance you did when you were romantically interested/involved with him.

Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship

5. Tell him about all that you’ve been doing

The key to figuring out how to make him regret not choosing you is to plan your moves smartly. For instance, you must take advantage of the limited contact you’ve maintained with him to offer him a glimpse into your revamped approach to life. Be it through mutual friends, social media, or just slipping in life updates in casual conversation, tell him all about what you’ve been up to. Don’t be surprised if he starts stalking your social media posts, taking an unprecedented interest in your life, or even rethinking his decision.

6. Always bring your A-game to make him regret not choosing you

Invest in yourself

If you want him to regret not choosing you or make him regret playing you, don’t let yourself go while you recover from heartbreak. Don’t start drunk dialing him or sending thirsty texts, trust us, that will never work in your favor. To make him realize what he lost, you need to be your best in front of him. Be the kind of girl guys regret losing.

Looking good makes you feel good, so remember to stay in shape, get dressed up, and go out. But remember you are not doing this for him, you are doing it for yourself. Pull out that perfect black dress or that pair of jeans that hug you in all the right places. Looking good will make you feel good and if there are “accidental encounters” with him when you are looking stunning, it’s just providence. He would absolutely regret not choosing you.

7. Don’t give the satisfaction of knowing you’re sulking over him

Wondering what to say to make him regret hurting you? Well, pouring your heart out in a text message to make him regret losing you or being emotionally vulnerable when you meet him face to face won’t do you any good. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he still holds sway over you.

No, we’re not asking you to bottle up your emotions. By all means, wallow, stain the pillow with your tears, eat a tub of ice cream while watching sappy romcoms, and lean on your friends and family for emotional support. But when you’re with him or talking to him, straighten up that crown, wear your best smile, and let me see you for the queen you are.

Don't let Breakup Break you

8. Tap into the psychology of regret

To make someone regret treating you badly, you need to remind them of what they’ve lost in not choosing you. The psychology of regret after breakup or turning down someone’s advances centers on wishing one had made different choices. So, give him a reason to wish he didn’t let you go. When you meet or talk to this guy,

  • Reminisce about the most memorable times you’ve spent together
  • Focus on the funny and weird things you did together
  • Remind him of the honeymoon phase of your relationship
  • Say or do something that made his heart melt back in the day and then pull back

This is a sly tip in the ‘how to make him regret ignoring you’ manual but it will certainly go a long way in helping you achieve your goal.

make him regret losing you

9. Make him privy to your dating life

Want to make him regret playing you? Wondering how to make him realize what he lost? Looking for an answer to how to make him chase you after rejection? Give him a sneak peek into your dating life. Of course, don’t make things up. But if you have started dating again after a breakup/being turned down by this guy, casually talk about how great it has been to put yourself out there again.

  • Talk about how this new person in your life wants the same things as you
  • How great the chemistry is
  • How it feels to find someone who cares about you deeply

If this guy still has feelings for you or the psychology of regret after breakup/turning you down has him rethinking his decision, this move is bound to rile him up. There cannot be a more pointed approach to how to make him chase you after rejection.

Related Reading: Jealousy makes us human – Why it’s okay to be ‘that’ person

10. Treat him nonchalantly

I know that feeling of yearning all too well. Why can’t he love me back? Why doesn’t he see how much I love him? Why does he not know how good we could’ve been together? I have spent many a night agonizing over these questions, and I know you are too. But he doesn’t need to know that. To make him regret ignoring you for someone else or not reciprocating your feelings, you need to not let him see how much his decision has impacted you.

So, when you hang out with mutual friends or end up talking to each other, keep your attitude nonchalant. Treat him like you would any other friend. Don’t give him too much importance or attention. Getting friendzoned or worse being treated like a casual acquaintance is sure to ruffle his feathers and make him wonder if he made a mistake not reciprocating when he had the chance.

11. Work on becoming a better version of yourself

Don’t direct all your energies on how to act or what to say to make him regret hurting you. Instead, focus on being the kind of girl guys regret losing. Here’s how:

  • Take care of health — eat well, exercise regularly, and work toward improving your mental health
  • Focus on your career and give your 100% to your job every day — a great way to deal with heartbreak too
  • Expand your horizons by reading more, going out, and meeting new people
  • Do not let your hurt feelings make you act in a way that you will be embarrassed about — no lashing out, drunk dialing, bad-mouthing
  • Exhibit poise, grace, and courteousness whenever you meet or interact with him

Related Reading: 20 fun things to do after a breakup!

12. Use social media to let him see how much fun you’re having

Your social media accounts could hold the answer to how to make him realize your worth. Use these as a window for him to peek into your world and be blown away by what he sees. To make him feel remorse over his choices, let him see what a goddess he let go of.

Even if you’re not on big posting every little detail of your life on social media, it will be well worth the effort if you really want this guy to see what he lost out on. So, get ready to up your social media game:

  • Making progress with a new workout routine? Post before and after reels
  • On a solo trip? Time to add to your Stories
  • Found a dress that accentuates just the right parts of your body? Make an #OOTD post
  • Having a good hair day? Flaunt it with a selfie
  • Having a wild time at girls’ night out? Go live, please!
how to make him realize your worth
Have fun with your friends

13. But don’t stalk him

By now, you must have sensed there is a pattern to how to make him realize your worth — focusing on living your best life and not giving this guy too much attention. Staying true to that theme, while you splash your life updates online, resist the urge to stalk him on social media. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you’re still invested enough to secretly view his stories or deal with the mortification of accidentally liking a 4-year-old post on his Instagram.

14. Let him know how you felt but you’re over it

The simplest answer to how to make him regret hurting you is by having a mature conversation about it. But not right away. After enough time has passed and you will be more in control of your emotions, open up about how much his decision hurt but you’ve worked through the pain now.

A great text message to make him regret losing you could be: “Hey! I was thinking about the way things went down between you and me. Not gonna lie, it was quite a blow but I’m glad I’m finally over it. If in my emotional stupor, I did or said something to hurt you, I hope you’d understand that it was a difficult time for me. I wish you happiness.” This degree of grace and candor is sure to melt his heart and make him feel bad about his choices.

Related Reading: 15 Top Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend

15. Make an earnest effort to move on

How to make him regret losing you and want you back or how to make him chase you after rejection cannot become the key focus of your existence. This life and you are too precious to be squandered away trying to win over a man who rejected you in the first place. While it’s okay to be hung up for some time on someone you had deep feelings for, your life cannot revolve around trying to manifest a desire.

Once you have given yourself enough time to grieve and process the loss, make an earnest effort to move on. If this guy regrets not choosing you and comes back, decide how you want to respond based on your circumstances at the time. Who knows you may no longer want to be with him then!

16. Love yourself deeply

Don’t lose yourself in figuring out how to make him regret not choosing you. While there is a lot of fun in trying to make someone regret treating you badly, the goal here is much bigger than that. Your focus should be on undoing the feelings of lack of self-worth and self-esteem that come with rejection. Don’t let this be a blow to your self-confidence and remember that other people do not define your worth, only you do. So love yourself and know that the right man will come along and appreciate all that you have to offer.

Now you know all there’s to know about how to make him regret not choosing you. If your efforts do yield results and the guy who left you in the lurch does come around, don’t get swept up in emotions. Think long and hard about what you want to do next and what’s right for you. If he decides to walk out on you again, it will be even harder for you to bounce back.


1. How do you make a guy regret not choosing you?

Be confident, a happy woman, a go-getter, and become the kind of woman a guy would regret losing. Do not sit and sulk over the fact that he dumped you. Ensure you are in a great mood and he finds it astonishing how you have got on with your life.

2. Can a guy change his mind about you?

Once a person is away from you they might get a perspective of what they are missing. A guy could be flooded with happy memories and all the good things about you. Do not sulk or try to be clingy after a breakup, a guy could then realize his mistake in dumping you.

3. How to make him regret ghosting you?

Ghosting is the worst thing a guy can do to a woman. If he vanishes without a trace, then when he tries to make contact with you, you must behave as if he has been erased from your memory. How to get back at someone who ghosted you? Do this simple thing. Just tell him you feel he doesn’t exist anymore. He will regret ghosting you for the rest of his life.

4. How long does it take for a man to regret losing you?

A man might start missing you the moment he is away from you or it could take him some months. After dumping you he might want to enjoy his freedom, or he could start dating someone else. But within no time he would miss all the good things that you brought to his life – love, care, affection.

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