Moving on after a relationship ends can be really tough, and at times, sucks all your energy. But at some point, you have to move on and get back on the dating scenes to find love and an intimate partnership again. If you’re lucky, you may even find yourself a soulmate. Coming to when to start dating after a breakup, know that the timeline can be different for different people because all of us have different coping mechanisms.
Besides, the length of the relationship and the depth of the connection you shared also determine how soon or late you’ll be ready to date again. Some people can get into a new relationship within 24 hours of a breakup, while some struggle to forget and move on after years.
Is dating immediately after a breakup ever a good idea? How long should you wait after a breakup to date again? Are there any dating after breakup rules that you must follow? Let’s explore the topic in greater detail to understand what would be the right time for someone to embark on a new relationship after a breakup.
How Soon Can You Start Dating Again After a Breakup?
Amid all the satisfied stories of being in love, dreamy metaphors of completing each other and happily-ever-afters, nobody wants to go through a painful breakup. But when reality hits you badly, it scars your soul and crumbles your whole world. This is the nasty reality of a gloomy split that wounds confidence and pushes you inside a shell.
As you wallow in this excruciating pain, dating again could well be the last thing on your mind. Little by little, the pain begins to recede and you realize that giving your love life another chance could bring you some much-needed relief and solace.
But what is the surety that the person you are dating post-breakup is going to be the perfect partner for you? Will this new person be your soulmate? What are the chances? In a rapidly changing society, relationship dynamics are changing and so are the rules of a breakup. More and more people want no-strings-attached love. There are more flings than committed relationships.
In such scenarios, it is no longer expected for anyone to have one partner for an entire lifetime. Thus, dating after a breakup is a natural alternative to move on. But the question remains: how soon is too soon to start dating after a breakup?
Well, the answer is tucked away in yet another question: are you ready for it? With a bad breakup, chances are you will be skeptical to initiate a budding romance with a new partner. Will dating again after a bad breakup be tagged as a rebound after a relationship? Will this lead to a series of failed relationships, scarring you repeatedly? Or do you still feel it is too soon to get into a relationship?
Clarity on these matters can give you a concrete timeline for dating after a breakup.
Related reading: 8 signs you are in a rebound relationship
How long should you wait before dating after a breakup?
How long should you wait before dating after a breakup? This question must have been on your mind if you’re going through this rough patch. Chances of you being scared to date after a breakup again are also at an all-time high after a disappointing relationship.
You might not want to go through the pain and agony of heartbreak again. Well, we don’t blame you. That self-doubt of not being worthy of love, respect, and fulfillment in the aftermath of a breakup is only natural. Although the time to heal from a breakup depends on an individual, getting back at dating again quickly and looking for rebound relationships is not the best bet. Yes, dating immediately after a breakup is almost always a bad idea.
If you are struggling with mixed emotions and indecisiveness over dating after a breakup, waiting for 3-4 months and giving yourself the time to recover from heartbreak is recommended. Use this time as an opportunity to understand your inner motivations and admit to yourself what you want in a relationship. This will give you clarity on your expectations from a romantic relationship.
Believe in your own abilities and acknowledge your potential. You deserve the love of the universe; all you need is to wait for the right time. If there is one dating after a breakup rule to follow, it is this, it is this, it is this.
Can you date yourself first?
Speaking of dating after a breakup rules, this one is the Holy Grail – use the post-breakup time to focus on yourself and your growth as an individual. Fix what’s broken within, heal yourself and become whole before you open your heart to someone new.
Breaking up should not break you, but build you from within. This is what our relationship experts suggest to anyone surviving a split. This is a constructive approach that acknowledges your due worth and inspires you to use this time for your individual pursuits. Why not head out of the house instead of sobbing in your bed?
Use this ‘me-only’ time to focus on your talents and skills. Take your dream course you so wanted to join before. Head on to a salon, opt for a makeover. Studies suggest that feeling good and diverting your energies to some positive change can help you heal the breakup woes.
Another reason why you should give yourself time to heal after a breakup is to avoid rebound relationships. These relationships tend to lack depth and don’t last long. Some people cannot deal with staying single and settle for the first person who comes around after a breakup. This is never a good idea because your judgment is not at its most sound after an emotional upheaval.
Staying happy and positive is a prerequisite to start dating again after a bad breakup. Jumping in the dating pool with the mindset that you may be signing up for another heartbreak will only make things tougher – not just for you but for anyone who comes in contact with you. Having a positive mindset will make you behave positively, and your positive behavior will surely give you positive results.
Saying no to dating immediately after a breakup can also save you from the vicious cycle of toxic relationships that end badly, leave you emotionally scarred, and drive you down the path of worse relationship choices and patterns.
Related Reading: Single vs. Dating – How life changes
Am I Ready To Date Again After A Breakup?
After such an emotional upheaval, how to find out if you are ready to date again after a breakup? Try a ‘Breakup Detox’. Stay away from any memory, place or links associated with your old romance. If you are too emotionally invested in a relationship, you tend to recall the good times with your boyfriend/girlfriend after the breakup.
Also, stop stalking your ex on social media, and unfriend them if you want to move on with life. Did you know, according to shocking breakup statistics, 59% of people remain Facebook ‘friends’ with an ex after they’ve broken up?
In this interconnected world, this harmless link could make you cling to your ex, limiting your possibilities to date again or move on after separation. Once you do this, you can save yourselves from the pain of reconnecting with a ruthless ex. After a while, you will feel like dating again – the desire to meet new people and mingle with them will arise in you. The power of silence after a breakup can really set you free and open your heart and mind to new experiences.
Related Reading: 5 ways to stop stalking your ex on social media
Once your priorities are set straight, these steps will make you stronger against any toxic relationship. You will feel happier, fulfilled and a positive individual ready for a better romantic connection. When you feel you have reclaimed your identity sans any anger or regret against your ex-partner is the right time to date again.
It begins when you start enjoying your singlehood and never find a dull moment in your own company. The feeling of being alone doesn’t gnaw you from within. Instead, you really look forward to ‘me time’. That’s the best signal to ascertain you are ready to date again after a bad breakup.
How to start dating again after a long-term relationship?
When in a long-term relationship, you invest all your energies in molding yourself as per your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s expectations. You look at yourself from their perspective. Their acceptance matters the most and you feel good about their compliments. This soon becomes a pattern and when you become too invested in a relationship, you forget to understand yourself. That’s not a good sign.
When such a relationship ends, making a fresh beginning can be harder. First of all, you may find yourself at a complete loss when it comes to deciphering how to start dating again after a long-term relationship. You may have been off the dating scene for so long that your game may feel rusty.
Besides, the idea of investing so much emotion and effort in a new relationship can seem exhausting. Then there is the matter of how long after a long-term relationship should you wait to date. Well, taking baby steps is the key here.
Start dating again after a breakup slowly. It’s okay to meet someone new a couple of weeks after breaking up. But it’s best to keep these dates friendly. Unless your breakup has not affected you emotionally, you might find it better to not get too intense right away.
Take your time, but don’t remain single all your life just because one relationship did not work out. Keep your mind and heart open. Who knows, the perfect partner might just be one date away!
Related Reading: Why do some people take breakups harder than others?
How soon is too soon to start dating after a breakup?
Another important question that you must address before turning over a new leaf in your love life is this: how soon is too soon to start dating after a breakup? It is definitely advisable to wait for a few weeks at least. You need to give your thoughts and emotions some time to calm themselves and gather afresh.
Why not spend this time with your friends? They might have felt neglected when you were wrapped up with your partner, and will surely welcome your reappearance! Dating immediately after a breakup is generally not a good idea.
Chances are that you have still not got over your ex. Dating someone new when you are in this emotional and mental state is quite unfair on that person. They might realize from your words or actions that you are treating them as just a medium to keep the sadness of a breakup at bay.
If there is no gap in dating after the breakup, you might end up comparing everything about the new person with your ex. Instead, you should take time to refresh your perspective and see a potential new companion with a new, clear point of view. That is why it’s good to be single after a breakup, at least for a while.
If you are dating your ex again after a breakup, make sure you set your expectations straight in front of your partner. Talk about the point of differences in your previous stint and commit to the takeaways before dating again. This is to prevent you from a pattern of hurt and pain again.
Tips for Dating Again After A breakup
We cannot control the pain inflicted by a breakup, but we can definitely learn a lot from it. Remember, your first breakup can shape you into a better individual who is aware of their needs and expectations from a relationship. All you need is not to fall into the alluring trap of consequent relationships and attractive dates before you’ve gone through the wringer of hurt and healing.
If you get asked out, you can definitely take a rain check and ask for some time to clear your mind. Don’t commit if your heart is not agreeing to it. Give a break to a series of bad breakups and get a hold of life.
Life has lots to offer us in terms of positive relationships and experiences. Use them to better yourself and expand your potential. If you have broken up and are currently unattached, it’s natural that you would want to start dating again at some point. There are some tentative dating after breakup rules that can be useful in helping you navigate this transition:
- Take it slow: Go slow when dating after a breakup. Wait for the right time before you commit
- Focus on yourself: Don’t seek validation from a date, instead accept yourself
- Time is of the essence: Wait for the right time. When it is right, you will feel contented and fulfilled from within
- Practice self-love: Love yourself, pamper yourself. When you value your worth, the partner will surely value your talents and abilities
- Keep it casual: Don’t go all in and form yet another intense connection when you start dating again after a breakup. Take it easy and keep it light-hearted to see where it goes
- Know what you want: Be selective about who you date. Let the breakup experience be a takeaway of what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship
Following these tips will definitely empower you to date again and find the partner of your dreams. Our Bonobology counselors are also there to help you heal from the breakup woes. You can connect with us for personalized counseling.