Quick Bites

Here’s how to say ‘let’s experiment in bed’ to your partner

Here is how you can have the conversation.
ayushman and parineeti

We are all looking for some fun under the sheets and that does not just mean having sex, but experimenting with it. But we fail to express our inclination towards it.

Let’s experiment

We have had our imagination run wild when preparing ourselves for the happening sex life we all have high hopes of. But few can realise it in real life, not because of lack of enthusiasm, but from lack of communication. Most of the couples out there keep the experiment in the confines of telepathy and that might amount to just moving from the head of the bed to the foot. If it can happen in your head, why can’t you at least try it in reality? Trouble is, you need to suggest it, because it happens that your partner cannot read your mind. So here are a couple of ideas to propose flipping the bed.

1.  What’s your favourite?

This analysis need not be dry and awkward, trying to give each other marks for performance in bed. Asking about each other’s favourite thing to do in bed gives a basic idea of the adventurous side of your partner. You might have assumed him to be a certain way in bed, but do keep in mind that he is driven by the same sort of insecurities and inhibitions as any regular person who has been brought up to the artificial perfection of pornography. Understand each other’s favourite and venture to put a spin on it.

shraddha and siddharth in ek tha villain

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2. What’s your wildest fantasy?

This is a basic truth or dare question of any party, but when asking your sexual partner, know that you are playing with fire. The point is to make your partner feel comfortable talking about the primal instincts and it can get scary, let me alert you. In my opinion, you should ask the question and ease the situation by first answering the question yourself. It will not only put your partner at ease, but also set the parameters of crazy allowed in the bedroom. After the exchange, propose trying out some of them.

quick bite

3. Watch a steamy one

I did not mean watching pornography together because the further you venture into the world of hyperrealism the less the chance of realising any adventure in reality. I mean sensual erotica when I say ‘steamy’. Get your hands on a print of Nine ½ weeks or the popular Fifty Shades of Grey, whichever kind floats your boat, and wait for your partner to take the hint and make moves.

50 shades of grey romantic

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4. Did you ever dream about sex? How was it?

Dreams create the space for us to be completely uninhibited and honest; we rarely speak about them, because it is hard to retain the memory. But through our puberty and even at the ripe age of midlife, dreaming about sex is something that leaves impressions. Try to find out what was your partner’s craziest sexual dream that kept her awake for the rest of the night. Unless it veers on to the dark side of necrophilia or its likes, extract the information and offer to try it out in reality.

5. Do you want to try something fun?

It is the last-minute twist. When you have already hit the bed, your hormones are touching the roof, pop the question and you can bypass the discussion altogether. Of course, it could backfire, as in asking this you imply that whatever you have been doing was not fun and if your partner has a fragile ego, rest assured the wounds will be deep. But, on the other hand, if you have confidence in your partner’s taste for the unexpected and self-confidence in bed go ahead with this simple but effective method. With the right understanding, this can be one of the hottest ways of going down the adventure route.

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