Financial Domination: What It Is, How It Works, And Can It Be Healthy?

Spice It Up | | , Lifestyle writer & Editor
Updated On: January 9, 2024
financial domination

According to Urban Dictionary, financial domination is “the fetish/lifestyle act of one person being submissive with their finances (giving their money) and the other person taking or demanding finances (receiving the money)”. Imagine this…a beautiful woman, confident in her power and sexuality, orders her clients to send her large sums of money or expensive gifts. In ‘traditional’ BDSM forms, when you think about what is a dominatrix, you immediately think of a leather-clad, dominant person who orders their sexually submissive clients to surrender control.

This is rewarded by way of sexual favors or more money. However, in the world of financial domination, there are rarely any sexual acts involved. Most financial transactions are carried out online and the financial dominatrix or fin domme rarely meets up with her ‘money slaves’ or submissive clients. 

For most people, this is where things get really fascinating. The idea that a financial dominant relationship develops between two people who never meet is one of the main reasons for its appeal. By turning on its head the traditional idea of sex work and sexual domination where the dominant person has power over the sex workers, here the financial dominant or the ‘financial domination princess’ is in the position of complete power and the submissive man / paypigs gets aroused by losing control of their money. 

What Is Financial Domination? 

We, as humans, never cease to discover new and unique ways of garnering pleasure. Sexual practices and taboos have existed since time immemorial and thanks to the Internet, more and more fetishes and sexual services are coming to light and being accepted. 

Financial Domination or findom is the latest watchword in the world of kink and BDSM. Google Trends shows that in the past year alone, there have been over 750 million results that show up when you search for ‘what is findom?’ That’s a whole lot of people out there looking for, providing, and writing about this particular sexual fetish and breed of dominant and submissive porn. 

Like all other sexual fantasies and fetishes, the world of financial domination has developed a lingo of its own. So, what is a dominatrix in this situation? Well, you have the dommes or the ones in control – also known as findom mistress, findomme, financial domination princesses, goddess, or cash master) and the submissives who voluntarily hand over control – also known as cash pigs, paypigs, money slaves, human ATMs, and finsubs). The world of financial domination falls squarely within the area of BDSM and while the submissive is almost always male, the financial dom can be of any gender. It is not unusual to hear of male dominatrix either. 

In the BDSM world, findom is considered the ultimate power exchange between two partners. The crucial difference between sexual domination and financial domination is that nothing more is expected from the findom dominatrix in such a relationship. The buck literally stops at the giving stage. This act of giving without expecting any sexual services in return is considered the highest act of devotion. According to Mistress Harley, a famous financial dominatrix, “a submissive man gives me large sums of money because it gives me pleasure to receive it and them a pleasure to give it.” 

Financial gains can take on several forms. These include: 

  • Demand money (referred to as tips or tributes)
  • Shopping sprees where the bill is settled by the submissive 
  • Gift cards and vouchers / Amazon wishlists 
  • Access to bank accounts 
  • Financial control over every aspect of a sub’s spending 
  • Access to holidays and homes 

People have discovered that being “compelled” or “made to” pay someone to verbally insult and control them offers a whole new realm of sexual satisfaction. It’s actually no surprise when you think about it. Money has always been associated with power and to surrender power in the form of money becomes the biggest sexual turn-on and taboo simultaneously. When it comes to strange sexual proclivities, the arena of financial domination sounds simple and a get-rich-quick scheme. But this is not so.

Make no mistake, the submissive is not spending his money without some expectations. While this may not be physical acts or sexual services, he will anticipate a certain level of effort on the part of the findom dominatrix. There may also be verbal insults, defiant behavior, microaggressions, and humiliating conversations involved. 

Related Reading: 15 Tips To Ride A Man Like A Pro

How Does Financial Domination Work? 

A findom transaction can be a one-off payment or a recurring transfer of cash or gifts. There are even cases where the submissive client hands over control of bank accounts, house deeds, and credit cards to the dominant woman. Some even allow the findom mistress to decide their daily budgets and allow complete control of their lives. The monthly salary of a successful financial dom can range between $1000 to $50,000 with other material perks thrown in. This involved a regular online presence in terms of videos, pics, and online chats. 

There are also extreme forms of findom relationships where submissives are put on a strict payment schedule. Others may involve blackmail with the risk of complete humiliation. While this could lead to financial ruin, in a professional and long-term relationship, such details are always consensually agreed to beforehand. Just like other successful BDSM partnerships, there are safe words and no-go zones that ensure the safety and enjoyment of both parties involved. 

Like any good relationship, financial domination succeeds when both parties’ needs are met. While some subs are happy with simply sending more and more money for a woman’s attention, others require their exchanges to be peppered with insults, name-calling, and verbal humiliation. There are even instances where finsubs may need proof that their demand money is being spent on gifts and expensive shopping sprees. In such cases, it is not unusual for the dominatrix to carry along a camera while they shop or to keep their phone cameras on to record their wallets jangling with money they are about to spend.  

Many black women who have achieved success in the field of financial domination view the entire process as deeply empowering. When compared to other forms of sex work, findom relationships are more direct and honest. And while the appeal for women is pretty apparent, what attracts a submissive man to this kind of lifestyle? The answer, not surprisingly, comes down to money. 

In today’s age of money and consumerism, people have learned to measure their self-worth in terms of how much money they can spend. Financial domination and external money management enter this arena and add a layer of sexual arousal and intimacy to what is basically a capitalist space. 

Studies also indicate that most subs get into findom relationships as a result of low self-esteem and a crippling lack of confidence. Then along comes a situation where the stakes are clearly spelt out. A beautiful woman’s attention is captured by the sub’s ability to pay. He claims her time by spending more and more money. There are elements of rejection, loneliness, and redundancy at play here and the entire situation is more complex than it seems. 

Do you believe the person who holds the wallet controls the relationship?

Can Financial Domination Be A Healthy Sexual Expression? 7 Tips to Make it Work 

If financial domination sounds like a dream gig to you, you may need to think again. What seems like a quick and easy way to make money is often anything but simple. The general consensus among findoms, is that it takes a considerable amount of time and energy to build up an online profile (via a Twitter account or fan pages) that will attract the correct submissive. There is a significant amount of money spent on maintaining personal appearances. At the end of the day, the subs require that the other women they are giving their money to look good. 

Related Reading: 8 Things Every Husband Secretly Wants In Bed

1. There is a difference in what is expected in a findom relationship 

A findom relationship is not the same as having a sugar daddy. While sugar daddies do provide monetary benefits, they rarely want to be humiliated or dominated. There are also usually sexual favors exchanged by the sugar baby. When it comes to findom and finsub relationships, the entire contract is based on humiliation and degradation, and loss of control. There is a guiding element of low self-esteem at play here that cannot be ignored. 

2. Indulging in a findom relationship can be healing for some 

Wading through interviews with successful dommes, it’s pretty evident that submissive male clients are aroused by ceding control to a beautiful woman. Handing over their wallets, credit cards, bank accounts, and even homes, to a spoiled, bratty, demanding, ‘princess’ is what keeps them feeling inferior and addicted. For the findom, this is a way to claim back her power. Many fin dommes suffer from past traumas, and calling the shots in such relationships to help to heal and liberate. 

Great Sex

3. Respect boundaries and stay safe 

Safety is a top priority when it comes to this type of sex work. It is recommended that findoms do not share any details of their personal life with their pay pigs or subs. Setting up amazon wish lists, PayPal accounts, and sharing bank account details are all strict no-nos. Clear boundaries between personal and professional lives need to be drawn. Real names are never to be used. At the end of the day, nothing can be left to chance, so all precautions need to be met. 

Related Reading: 21 Common Sexting Codes And Meanings

4. This is not a game 

There are very real risks involved – anxiety, addiction, self-torture, rising debt and even bankruptcy. There is also the impact on real-life relationships for both parties. It takes a sense of responsibility and ethics on the part of the sex workers involved to respect boundaries. There is a term used in the BDSM community – aftercare – this refers to checking in on your partners regularly to ensure both parties still enjoy the relationship. When this human side of domination is relevant, the relationship can safely thrive.  

5. Explore new power roles in a findom partnership

When it comes to traditional positions of power, the male dominatrix is usually the head and the woman is submissive. When new power exchanges are explored, relationships can thrive and achieve new potential. Findom relationships where other women call the shots are providing healthy spaces where one can let go of inhibitions and conquer new relationship challenges. While not everyone can resort to the fetishes involved in BDSM and financial domination, it may be worthwhile exploring a new power balance in your relationship

6. There are ethics involved too 

While most clients have expendable incomes, there are risks of spending more money than they can afford on their dommes, leading to financial ruin. Many findoms state that this demands an ethical approach and like most other sex work, a sensitivity to the fetish of financial domination and the knowledge about when to back down. 

7. It can lead to a mutually satisfying relationship 

Experts insist that financial domination, when practiced with consent and mutual respect for boundaries can be healthy and helpful. Like other BDSM activities, if both partners are on the same page and enter the relationship understanding personal limits, it is for the most part healthy sexual expression. Just like any other type of sex work, there is a whole lot of effort that goes into being a successful findom and nurturing enjoyable findom relationships. 

Key Pointers

  • Financial domination is a lifestyle/fetish where the dominatrix or sex worker demands money/gifts from a sexually submissive
  • There is usually verbal humiliation and aggression involved and the submissive is aroused by being under the domme’s control
  • Sexual acts and nudity are rarely part of this lifestyle
  • Like any successful BDSM relationship, both parties enter this relationship with clear-cut ideas about what is and is not accepted

Findom relationships are now showing up in all sorts of sexual subcultures. Whether you are cis, gay, transgender, or heterosexual, there is a group of people who want to dominate and be dominated. It’s easy to judge and condemn financial domination and other types of sexual relationships but one must realize that when it is a matter of two consensual adults agreeing to act in a certain way that brings them both joy, it is not our place to pass judgements. As humans, we have innumerable ways of expressing our sexuality, some we may understand and others we may not be able to fathom, but we must make efforts to accept them nonetheless. 

125 How Well Do You Know Me Questions For A More Intimate Relationship

Unicorn Dating – Best Dating Sites And Apps For Unicorns And Couples

What Do Guys Think After You Sleep With Them?


Ask Our Expert

Tags:

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.